Stop expecting change, he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on.
so today was a half day. twas an..interesting..day. got in an accident, but were okay. im muy sorry, if i had money id totaly help u pay! eww i had to take passport pics i look soooooo retarted! i hate pics of me. this spring break is gunan be soo boring. life has been soo boring. i dont like it ltly. i feel so..weird. i cant talk to people anymore. i really just wanna have a good talk with someone. i really need that. but i cant open myself up to people. i want things to change. but then i want some things to be like how they used to be. a few wks ago i started like really talking to my freind again, but then outta nowhere he got all weird on me. i just wanna start over. so me n beaker kinda talked and he wanted to "start over" yet the nest day everytime i saw him he just gave me a really weird look, then the next day he decides to wave at me, only b.c we almost ran into each other, and i kinda smiled at him and he laughed. fuckkkkkk i dunno why i do this to myself. i wish i had never let him go. i wish i had gone back w. him when i had the chance. i wish i had asked him out again when i wanted to in the summer. i miss him coming to me w. his problems, an dme being able to actualy help him, and him helping me. and us always talking abouthow we were gunna take off in the summer cuz we hated it here. oh well. nothign i can do bout it now. i wish i didnt like MC hippie..i KNOW nothign will happen with that. we talked for like a week, then we just kinda stopped. i never even see him so i dunno why i have to liek him, he doesnt even liek me as a friend so..fuck it. i just wanna talk to someone...well im out..
..lily..