what if all the world you think you know is an elaborate dream?

[uninformed]

This has been in my WIP post since December. Why? The first three paragraphs. Which I'm still unhappy with. I literally haven't touched the rest of the fic (except for touching up grammar and spelling) at all. I like everything but the opening ^_^;; So don't stop reading within the first three paragraphs ^_

Comments

[hayama4]

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
This was adorable and heartbreakingly happy. Poor Kuro waiting so long... Poor Fai still running. They should end up happy together!

[uninformed]

I agree completely - Kuro-chan and Fai should have a happy ending together :D

I'm glad you liked it :D

[ontogenesis]

I don't see what's wrong with the first three paragraphs - I think it works quite well as an introduction, and an intriguing one at that. Writing in second person isn't easy, but it works nicely with this story.

This is a great and plausible "what-if" scenario. Kuro, Fai, and Mokona are all in character, lovely dialogue. Bittersweet, but you leave the ending open to interpretation (I choose to believe Fai stays.) ^^

[uninformed]

They were really hard for me to write, because I knew what I wanted to say, but didn't want to go through all the trouble of doing the background ^_^;; In the end, I just skipped the background entirely and ran write into his arrival ^_^

I actually really like writing in the second person, but then, I loathe writing in the third ^_^;;

I'm glad you liked it, thank you for commenting ^_^ (and I choose to believe that Fai says too ^_^)

[uninformed]

It's the second person. I have this problem where it's my favourite tense to write in ^_^;;

I'm glad you liked it despite that! :D

[unaspi]

There's only one thing I can possibly say about this:

...OMGLOVE!!!!!!11one

[uninformed]

whee! Thank you!! I'm glad you liked it :D

[anonymous]

Yuu know we all luv it! <33
Keep it up! ^^

[uninformed]

thank you! I'm glad you liked it ^_^