Q: Why is text messaging stupid?

[universaldonor]

Q: I intuitively know that text messaging is a shitty way to communicate. But why?
A: It's complicated.
(edited and reposted from a comment I wrote here at

Comments

[tuckova]

Yeah, I would've been a better student if I hadn't been so busy passing notes in class, but I wouldn't have had half the fun and I might have died of boredom besides

[universaldonor]

Yeah, there you go. The medium has its limitations. It is not the fault of the medium, but of the people who expect too much of it. And if most people followed your suggested use of text (one time, one-way bursts of info), problems would arise much less often.

But that it not what happens! People gallop along with texting, having multi-transaction "conversations," expecting too much from the medium, and they slam facefirst against its limitations in a way that is sudden, painful, and AVOIDABLE.

Obviously, text where and when appropriate based on the capabilities of the medium and taking into consideration its drawbacks. But whenever possible, honestly, don't use it.

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So maybe UD'S LAW OF COMMUNICATION is something like:
Use the highest-bps medium available to you for any given communication.
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[tuckova]

I do better in e-mail with lots of people than I do face-to-face. Especially when something is emotionally charged, the ability to step away from it, calm down, re-read it, see if perhaps my emotional reaction is more to do with me than with the actual message, frame an answer, make sure it's exactly what I want to say, and THEN reply, has saved a lot of agony in relationships that were strained to begin with. For me, e-mails are an improvement on letters, not poor substitutes for face-to-face.

Also, the implication that people are often very bad at communicating and therefore all people should not use specific-individual challenging media in which to communicate is ridunkulous. Simply: poor communicators should be shot.

[universaldonor]

But so what does "do better" mean? Feel more in control? Feh. My whole premise here with shitty communication is that as the SENDER you always know what you mean -- what suffers is the understanding of the recipient, i.e. the QUALITY of the information is directly proportional to the QUANTITY. See?

Like many people, you think you "saved a lot of agony" by avoiding high-bitrate communication forms, but I put it to you that this is an ILLUSION fueled by fear of loss of control! You think you are talking about the recipient's agony, but you are really talking about your own! You avoid high-bitrate communication because you really believe it to save agony; you think worldsuck is reduced by lowering the bitrate -- BUT THIS IS LE GRAND ILLUSION! THE LIE OF HI-TEK LIFE!
--
Then again, I'm really good face to face. Maybe this all springs from that.

[nuncstans]

the time wasted and damage caused by texting does not outweigh its benefits

I think you mean the opposite...right?

[universaldonor]

yes thanks! must fix!

[pomo_drunkard]

Texting is great for

"on my way."

"see you at 8"

and things like that. The issue is that people use texts for long conversations, which you shouldn't do. But, in fact, I like to use texting because it means I _don't_ waste a lot of time on the phone when all I want to do is confirm something or impart just a little information.

It's not always good to have to convey a lot more information. Sometimes, calling suffers from a large signal-to-noise ratio.

But that's because I feel awkward hanging up on people after 30 seconds.

[universaldonor]

Yes, Yes, and Yes.

I no longer feel awkward hanging up after 30 seconds if the transaction is complete. Remember I am aiming to COMPLETE a transaction as quickly as possible to cut down the s, raising the bitrate.

And before anybody gets weird about the transactional model of communication, it clearly is intended for content that is mostly non-emotional (i.e. You don't break up via text message, post-it, or answering machine).

UD'S SECOND LAW OF COMMUNICATION:
Everybody should just chill the fuck out.

txtng is wrthlss

[odobenidae]

Man, what spirited debate in here! Offense, defense, punt sack score. Maybe people shouldn't communicate with each other at all, how's about that!

Where do lj comments fit into the scheme of things, do you think? May seem a height of dorkdom, but I use these boxes as a major form of communication. 1) So many people I know are here, including a) my girlfriend and b) one of my best friends; 2) they're left in topical places, keeping them relevant; 3) they're fairly permanent and can be referenced. Plus we can have pretty pictures.

Man, I don't like using cell phones at all, and I don't like talking to people face-to-face. I'll write like a fool motherfucker all day, but fuck a phone call, too, you know? Seems we're all drastically different and/or extremely righteous in here. Which is fine, because nobody's wrong that way, check out our new govt., word, everybody wins!

Re: txtng is wrthlss

[universaldonor]

I'm about to explain a similar phenomenon involving sunglasses over at the regular blog, but the deal with email and LJ commenting is that they LOOK like conversation, but are actually kinds of alternating monologue.

Yes, some people are more COMFORTABLE with alternating monologues. They're good for making some people more COMFORTABLE. But they don't make for better COMMUNICATION.

Commenting is weird because it is a really constricted form of communication -- It's really more like alternating bloggery than anything else, or like shouting into your cellphone on a crowded train. (If you think it's a substitute for real conversation, imagine breaking up with someone over LJ comments.)

Again, I am not saying that any medium is bad, or useless! Nor am I judging people who employ any medium. Just that, as I originally stated, the quality of communication is improved by using the highest-bitrate medium available in a given situation.

[claudelemonde]

yeah, i feel pressured in a lot of real-time convos, so i like emails and texting, whereas IMing and calling are sometimes scary. i mean, by the "highest bps available" rubric above, the best thing to do in some situations would be "just stop by the person's house!" which NONONONONONONONOOOO. i have completely told people they cannot come in, before.

then again, i am convinced of a mild social autism & have terrible housekeeping skills, so.

hey let's all meet girlfriends on lj

[odobenidae]

See, I just don't like talking to most people! I'm perfectly happy conveying my sentiments through digital means. In fact, I'm much more communicative that way because I freeze up when talking to folks in person. Word to C, dig. is pref.

Yeah man, we wouldn't be letting people in either! Potential visitors have to clear that stuff days in advance. Housekeeping has little to do with it, I think, at least in our case. Sure is nice to be in control of who comes, goes + stays, we say!

Here are my communication methods ratings (1-10, 10 is best):

lj comments - 10 (alternating monologues are dope)
email - 9
handwritten notes - 9
handwritten letters - 8
IM - 8
talking on the phone - 5 (depends on the person, though)
talking in person - 3
social networking sites - 2
Outlook-type work calendars - 2
phone texting - 1 (I don't have a cell)

[rajmahall]

Hi, Jeremy! I'm Raj from "Hospitality on Parade." Thank you for reading my comic. You are obviously a nobleman.

Hospitality on Parade is meant as a puppet journal that everyone can see. Rajmahall is my real-life personal journal, the journal on which I talk freely and am embarrassing, that should be "friends only" but isn't for some reason. Please be friends with me on this one.