i love the idea and the story is detailed, entertaining, and written romantically... i think your twists in plot and knack for language are far advanced in comparison to most young writers
my one short criticsm is on the flow of the story... i would eliminate "my girlfriend of three years" in the first sentence of the second paragraph... its repetitive and the second sentence gives you all you need in a more direct and natural way...
all up to you the story is still awesome how it is so far... a writer's style is unique and my critique may or may not be useful... but definitely post the rest i like how its going so far :)
Edmund You are amazing. keep it love i live to read them everyday. Marry me someday my dear. Love Ashley The girl who watched a scary movie with you and laughed. hahaha <3
Edmund You are amazing. keep it love i live to read them everyday. Marry me someday my dear. Love Ashley The girl who watched a scary movie with you and laughed. hahaha <3
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my one short criticsm is on the flow of the story... i would eliminate "my girlfriend of three years" in the first sentence of the second paragraph... its repetitive and the second sentence gives you all you need in a more direct and natural way...
all up to you the story is still awesome how it is so far... a writer's style is unique and my critique may or may not be useful... but definitely post the rest i like how its going so far :)
<3 your number one
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keep it love i live to read them everyday.
Marry me someday my dear.
Love Ashley
The girl who watched a scary movie with you and laughed. hahaha <3
Reply
keep it love i live to read them everyday.
Marry me someday my dear.
Love Ashley
The girl who watched a scary movie with you and laughed. hahaha <3
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when did you go to paris?
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