Of dog and dogz
Suddenly realizing that George (my destructively hyperactive affenpinscher) had run out of dog food, I decided to take a quick trip to the corner liquor store - for one must not keep a hungry George waiting if one values one's sanity. No sooner am in the store than I am approached by a large thuggish individual and his mini-thug sidekick.
Thug: "Dog, where you get that trench from?"
Me: "My coat? Actually I don't know. It was a gift. It's a London Fog, if that helps."
Thug: "Damn that shit even looks good from the back."
Me: "Thanks. Feel the material."
[Thug feels material]
Thug: "Shit! What is that velure?"
[Interjection: !!?!? It doesn't feel anything like velure. If anything it feels like suede.]
Me: "Actually it's a microfiber."
Thug: "What's microfiver?"
Me: "It's a resilient man made fiber, finer than silk, usually made from some combination of polyester and nylon."
Thug: "Damn how much that shit cost?"
Me: "This coat? A few hundred bucks I'd guess."
[Thug gives me a curious look]
Thug: "Hey why you aint 'fraid to talk to me?"
Me: "Is there some reason I should be afraid to talk to you?"
Thug: "People around here don't talk to me. Heh, just look at me. You know?"
[interjection: Redlands is one of the more upscale areas of the IE.]
Me: "Well, I grew up in San Bernardino...
[Pause for effect]
Me: ...and the police station is right next door."
[Both thugs laugh]
Thug: "Yeah man you awright. Peace."
Mini-thug: "Peace."
Me: "Peace."
More than likely these were two bored *Redlands* kids who just listen to too much rap, but it made for an amusing exchange anyway. Oh and 1918underwood, thanks again for the great coat, hon. Best gift ever. :-)
Thug: "Dog, where you get that trench from?"
Me: "My coat? Actually I don't know. It was a gift. It's a London Fog, if that helps."
Thug: "Damn that shit even looks good from the back."
Me: "Thanks. Feel the material."
[Thug feels material]
Thug: "Shit! What is that velure?"
[Interjection: !!?!? It doesn't feel anything like velure. If anything it feels like suede.]
Me: "Actually it's a microfiber."
Thug: "What's microfiver?"
Me: "It's a resilient man made fiber, finer than silk, usually made from some combination of polyester and nylon."
Thug: "Damn how much that shit cost?"
Me: "This coat? A few hundred bucks I'd guess."
[Thug gives me a curious look]
Thug: "Hey why you aint 'fraid to talk to me?"
Me: "Is there some reason I should be afraid to talk to you?"
Thug: "People around here don't talk to me. Heh, just look at me. You know?"
[interjection: Redlands is one of the more upscale areas of the IE.]
Me: "Well, I grew up in San Bernardino...
[Pause for effect]
Me: ...and the police station is right next door."
[Both thugs laugh]
Thug: "Yeah man you awright. Peace."
Mini-thug: "Peace."
Me: "Peace."
More than likely these were two bored *Redlands* kids who just listen to too much rap, but it made for an amusing exchange anyway. Oh and 1918underwood, thanks again for the great coat, hon. Best gift ever. :-)