Lover prompt for The Flame

[unnameduntamed]

“This isn’t going to work.”

“What was that?” I mumbled sleepily.

Why did she have to interrupt my wonderfully pleasant dreams? The evening air was cold but her skin was warm and soft. I moved closer, hoping to go back to sleep. Then again, wakefulness did provide opportunities to do other, more interesting activities. I nipped at her neck and pulled

Comments

[unnameduntamed]

Thankies - I try. You always make my day with your comments :)

[darlinleo]

And so the story continues ... !! :D

[yuunaluna]

"My Cat, the amazing Caped Catpaw, the most beautiful girl of my childhood and the sexiest nemesis of my herohood." lolz love this line!

[keppiehed]

Yay for PrOntober! I like the part about the pizza, too ... that made me laugh. Your characters are very vibrant, and I am glad to see that we get to spend more time with them. This is a fun story, and I am quite enjoying it!

[belluminabyssus]

It's nice to see a continuation of this story! The pizza bit was a great detail, and I laughed a little.

Two issues, though:
1. I find it a little hard to believe that Cat would become his lover. She hates him and everything he stands for so much (as it was delineated in your previous pieces) that this seems a little contrived and sudden.

2. You should watch your dialogue. There are three times in this very short piece in which Cat says a variation of "This will never work," and that repetition is unnecessary and distracting for the reader.

Other than that, I think it was nice!