well, then

[unprovoked]

what are you living for?

(no, really)
i want to know

i'm not sure anymore

so i guess i could just turn myself in.
but.
death is an unknown state. and unknown is scary.
but.
LIFE is an unknown scary. a scary unknown.

[either way] it seems as if i'm doomed without anything to follow ... with nothing to live for, with nothing to die for

our

Comments

[lunatictolove]

claire,
i really like your entries.
i find myself repeating things you say in them for days to myself.

[gonad]

i am living to soak up everything i can and release it all at once (to give meaning to at least one someone) before it's too late.

do you know love?

[somethinoriginl]

here is a truth that i put together after looking at several things, please feel free to disagree if you want, it doesn't change my truth one bit. here goes:

1. God loves me
2. Because He loves me, there's some guidelines so i don't screw myself over
3. Because He cares to set up those standards, i can trust him
4. i can obey Him when i trust Him
5. when i obey Him, i love Him back ...

see i can love (period) because He first loved me.

so what guidelines am i talking about? that i, me, myself, and i am not perfect but to have a relationship w/ a perfect God, i can accept (or believe) that His perfect Son took the punishment for my inperfection. that's it. "Christian" is such a loaded word, i don't care much for bumper sticker doctrine crap either, i'm just a girl who's trying to get by. the end

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[sylvie_star]

i don't know if you're reading these and i think some of the comments are there for the people making them and not for you. but people love you people care, i know thats sounds so cheezy but think about it. you hurt when she died, of course you did, i've hurt for you, so many people have, i hate to be selfish but think about the hole it would leave in all of us without you. ellen doesn't want you so unhappy, and i know she's not here to stop it, or to save you the way i know for a fact she wants to be. but if nothing else let us love you, and though we can't force you to be happy, try just for you.

Random Reply

[outlaw_kitty66]

What am I living for? Good Q. I wish I could say I was living "for the moment" but that's too much of a cliche and a lie. Living from moment to moment would be more of a truth, not knowing exactly what's going happen next, but on the whole, assuming that I know what's going to happen. That is, knowing at least what I think is going to happen during working hours, most waking hours. That is probably my downfall. Trapping myself somewhere in those moments, like thinking about trying to stop the large bouncing blue ball that I watched last week, rolling and bouncing down the extremely busy street in from of my apartment building. Stopping something - anything - from happening. I believe what I do is that. I don't believe in god or fate, but that we can change what will happen by taking the smallest action, or taking no action at all. I watched that ridiculous ball, wondering if a child up the street lost it, only curious, no pity for any potential loss, but hoping desperately that something would happen. Anything more out of