I've heard that in times of great trauma, your brain can protect you by erasing your memory of the event. How I wish I could forget Neverending Story 3!
I sorta regret the fact that I can't find my Cinema of Shame list anymore (those horrible movies I saw in the theater and paid full price for), yet on the other hand, maybe that's a good thing. Anyway, I can't recollect what it would have been.
Wait, no, I know what it was. Freddy Got Fingered. Yes, I saw the whole thing. Because The Lady made me sit through it.
Ebert gave Freddy Got Fingered zero stars and said this of it:
"This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels."
I appreciated his following bit: "The day may come when Freddy Got Fingered is seen as a milestone of neo-surrealism. The day may never come when it is seen as funny."
Then again, Rip Torn is a fucking trooper to be in this film and I think he earned every bit of his salary. Being deluged in fake elephant-jizz is a humbling thing to have committed to celluloid. His apoplectic performance surely mirrored the audience's outrage at having to endure an impossible 89 minutes of grueling retardation.
I haven't seen it! I am lucky. It's because as a child somehow I didn't watch the whole first movie and I thought that the part where everything goes black was the end. I thought the neverending story ended because he failed.
I was so upset and terrified I refused to watch anything in the brand family until college when someone trying to put in their nostalgia VHS explained what happened to me.
I haven't seen NES3, so I'll go with Excess Baggage. My best friend and I threatened to never again speak with the friend who made us pay to watch that utter crap.
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Wait, no, I know what it was. Freddy Got Fingered.
Yes, I saw the whole thing. Because The Lady made me sit through it.
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"This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels."
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Then again, Rip Torn is a fucking trooper to be in this film and I think he earned every bit of his salary. Being deluged in fake elephant-jizz is a humbling thing to have committed to celluloid. His apoplectic performance surely mirrored the audience's outrage at having to endure an impossible 89 minutes of grueling retardation.
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I was so upset and terrified I refused to watch anything in the brand family until college when someone trying to put in their nostalgia VHS explained what happened to me.
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