I won't go getting tired of you - Part 4
Disclaimer: I do not own the Strokes, this is just a product of my sick imagination. Apologies to all the parties involved.
Summary:A discovery of feelings and a reality to be changed
Julian Casablancas/Dave Grohl
I am loitering by the stage like a fucking groupie.
I know that's what everybody thinks of me and they are not far from the mark anyway.
So I guess that makes me a slut but I don't really care.
I wanna fuck him senseless and that's exactly what it's going to happen. I'll make sure of that.
Because I can feel this hunger flaring up my blood, mixed with cocaine and the basic need of not being alone tonight.
And let's face it I am going to fuck a "piece" of rock and roll history. How cool is that? And how cool does that make me?
100 points to Julian Casablancas.
In your faces fuckers.
I laugh out loud.
Sitting in the corner.
Alone.
One of the technicians looks at me and shakes his head.
Anything you like to say to me?
I am going to fuck Dave Grohl up the ass tonight and he's gonna scream my name.
MY name.
I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs.
I feel like playing another gig all over again.
I feel I can be anything.
Anyone.
Everyone.
I haven't heard a single song of his set.
I've kept my eyes on the stage but I cannot recollect anything. Not a single image and has been almost a 2 hours show.
Wow. I guess Nick's coke was really really good. Too good in retrospective, because now he's in front of me in all his sweaty glory, asking me if I enjoyed the show and I have no idea what to say.
Blondie seems to realise that I was too spaced out to be, should I say present and doesn't miss the opportunity to make me look like a dickhead.
Again.
"Dave, he doesn't even remember his name at this stage! Look at his eyes! Hello? Are you with us? Why don't you go back to your friends and get wasted a little more or even better, go to bed?"
I am starting to hate Blondie with a vengeance and I am ready to pound him on the floor, but if I want to end up in Dave's bed (and God do I want to) I have to play along and so I blank him out and lie like a fucking pro.
"You were right. You really are... intense. The crowd loved you. It was great. You gave them a night to remember..."
And I am so gonna give you one myself!
I am such a slut, that if I had any shame left, I would be blushing.
It's so obvious.
I just wanna fuck you Dave.
I want to fuck so badly that if you keep looking at me like that, I'll do it right here in front of Blondie. I bet he wouldn't be at all pleased.
I have this feeling he doesn't like me that much.
I wonder if they ever fucked.
Were they a couple?
Are they still a couple?
Do I really care?
I guess I never thought he would be interested, I never was before tonight. I mean, it's not that I hadn't notice how good looking he is, With that huge, warm, sensuous smile, sparkling dark eyes and fucking fit body.
But... he's not Nick is he?
God he's the total opposite of Nick...
His warm, tanned skin, dark, mossy eyes, the corded, muscular body, an undercurrent of strength and determination, glistening around him like an aura.
And he's talking to me and I haven't heard a word. Again.
I should really start listening to people.
Especially people I wanna end up in bed with, cause I guess I have to show a little interest if I wanna go somewhere with them.
I look up at him, probably looking a little lost. He smiles, not annoyed, not yet at least, just grimly amused. I think.
"Listen, please? I'm gonna get changed and then we'll have a party at our hotel. I'd love for you to come, if you are up for it."
Am I up for it? Man, you have no idea.
I flash him my slutty- I am all yours babe- smile and agree to meet him in 1 hour.
Now all I have to do, apart taking a shower, is to brace myself for Albert's assault, cause I know he'll be all over me as soon as I enter the tour bus. Unless is otherwise engaged fucking some random girl.
"Oh hello, hello Julian! And where's the lovely Dave? I thought you'd be still around him slobbering! You are such a slag Casablancas!"
Not such luck apparently.
"Don't you have anything else to do Al? Just cause you're getting any, there's no need to take it out on the more fortunate!"
“ You mean you two already fucked? Man, I heard of ejaculatio praecox but that's too much! And who told I'm getting any? I'm getting plenty! Now tell us all the filthy details, you slut!"
I have no escape and he knows it. He won't let it go either, no matter how much I ignore him. Is Albert we are talking about here and he knows me inside out. He knows I will, eventually, give up. So I give in. No reason in fighting the inevitable.
"I'm meeting him in 1 hour at his hotel, they are having a party. Satisfied? Wanna come along?"
"Have I heard the word party? Who you're meeting up with?"
Nick appears in the door frame, bathed in the greenish light of the bus, still wet from the shower.
Hooded blue eyes framed by dark damp eyelashes.
But fuck he's beautiful...
"Jules here has a hot date with the foxy Dave Grohl and I think we should go along, just to make sure that he behaves!"
I'm going to kill Albert. Tomorrow. Now I have to take a shower and get changed and survive the fact that Nick's looking at me like that...
Baby... You are so hot...
Locked in his arms.
No escape...
No escape...
No escape...
Julian...
Fuck Nick, just don't look at me like that... Not now. Not after all this time... Oh... Fuck...
"Julian do you think there would be some hot girls there?"
Right.
Back to reality Julian.
What was I expecting?
A declaration of undying love?
Is not really in character with Nick persona is it?
"I have no idea and I don't fucking care. You'll have to check for yourself. I am sure there'll be plenty to drink though. Don’t worry."
"That's more your scene Ju..."
Now I'm pissed off. Not only he fucks with my mind on a regular basis, now he's also acting like a fucking brat.
"Fuck you Nick! You don't have to come if you don't want to. You can stay here with your coke and enjoy your own company!"
Fuck you Nick.
I'm too tired for this. Too tired for everything.
Even for you.
Where's the euphoria I was feeling only 2 hours ago? I don't want more coke. I don't want anyone else.
I want you.
Fuck you Nick.
Fuck you.
I strip naked, step under the scolding shower and try to wash away all these feelings knotted up in my chest, alongside the sweat and the blood.
I wash my hair. You're in luck Mr Grohl, that doesn't happen too often. I guess I want to make a good impression... Right...
Collect yourself Casablancas! Apparently one of the coolest people in rock reciprocates your lust and you're musing over one lousy fuck? I must be really really far gone.
I change into a fresh pair of black cords and a pinstriped shirt that's on top of my pile of clothes. It smells ok, so it must be one of the clean ones.
I look into the small mirror and my reflection shows me a slightly gaunt version of myself, with dark circles under my eyes, but all in all I look ok.
Time to go.
Albert and Nick are already outside; a car is waiting and I thank God for good managers and considerate friends.
"Where are Fab and Niko?"
"Fab's nowhere to be seen, but Drew was around earlier so fucking is quite high on the list of options. Nikolai went straight to bed, said he was too tired even to be considered fully alive."
"Give me a fag Albert."
“You cheap fucker, where are yours?"
"Forgot them. I'll buy some later. Come on Al."
Nick is silent; eyes fixed on the desert outside the window, while we drive towards Los Angeles.
"Are you nervous Jules? I mean you've got a date with the guy who drummed for Nirvana! He touched Kurt Cobain!"
"You are such an asshole Albert"
"Hey don't play the king of cool with me Julian, I am not the one who owns 3 Nirvana's t-shirts and used to listen to "In Utero" on repeat when we were in school!"
Ok I am guilty. I admit it. I was obsessed with Nirvana. But I was 15 and to be honest I never even thought about Dave when he was in Nirvana, he was just a good drummer with long hair. I was more interested in Kurt. I wanted to be him!
"So, are you nervous?"
Nick's voice is flat and inexpressive. Almost bored. He's no even looking at me; his eyes still fixed outside the car window.
Why are you asking Nick? Why do you wanna Know? Why did you come along? Why do I still want you so?
Do you want me too?
Do you?
"No I am not nervous."
And it's the truth. I am not. Mostly because I don't give a fuck about anything anyway.
Dave's beautiful, no point in denying it. He's hot as hell and I want him.
Nothing more.
I need to satisfy my urge. A pliant body under mine, soft but strong. His muscular arms around me and that very soft mouth to drink from.
I want to fuck him that's it.
But it doesn't mean anything.
He doesn't mean anything.
He's not you.
He won't take anything from me. Not my body for sure.
I will fuck him. He'll be the bitch.
I will be in control.
I'll be the one who's gonna make him scream.
No tears, no blood for you Mr Grohl.
No more.
No more for noone.
Noone.
The first lights of the city are beginning to reflect against the windows and the fleeting sparkles shone a lurid crown upon Nick's hair.
The rest of the journey is silent. Albert quietly smoking, Nick seated on the corner, not looking at me and I can feel his eyes all over my body...
Summary:A discovery of feelings and a reality to be changed
Julian Casablancas/Dave Grohl
I am loitering by the stage like a fucking groupie.
I know that's what everybody thinks of me and they are not far from the mark anyway.
So I guess that makes me a slut but I don't really care.
I wanna fuck him senseless and that's exactly what it's going to happen. I'll make sure of that.
Because I can feel this hunger flaring up my blood, mixed with cocaine and the basic need of not being alone tonight.
And let's face it I am going to fuck a "piece" of rock and roll history. How cool is that? And how cool does that make me?
100 points to Julian Casablancas.
In your faces fuckers.
I laugh out loud.
Sitting in the corner.
Alone.
One of the technicians looks at me and shakes his head.
Anything you like to say to me?
I am going to fuck Dave Grohl up the ass tonight and he's gonna scream my name.
MY name.
I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs.
I feel like playing another gig all over again.
I feel I can be anything.
Anyone.
Everyone.
I haven't heard a single song of his set.
I've kept my eyes on the stage but I cannot recollect anything. Not a single image and has been almost a 2 hours show.
Wow. I guess Nick's coke was really really good. Too good in retrospective, because now he's in front of me in all his sweaty glory, asking me if I enjoyed the show and I have no idea what to say.
Blondie seems to realise that I was too spaced out to be, should I say present and doesn't miss the opportunity to make me look like a dickhead.
Again.
"Dave, he doesn't even remember his name at this stage! Look at his eyes! Hello? Are you with us? Why don't you go back to your friends and get wasted a little more or even better, go to bed?"
I am starting to hate Blondie with a vengeance and I am ready to pound him on the floor, but if I want to end up in Dave's bed (and God do I want to) I have to play along and so I blank him out and lie like a fucking pro.
"You were right. You really are... intense. The crowd loved you. It was great. You gave them a night to remember..."
And I am so gonna give you one myself!
I am such a slut, that if I had any shame left, I would be blushing.
It's so obvious.
I just wanna fuck you Dave.
I want to fuck so badly that if you keep looking at me like that, I'll do it right here in front of Blondie. I bet he wouldn't be at all pleased.
I have this feeling he doesn't like me that much.
I wonder if they ever fucked.
Were they a couple?
Are they still a couple?
Do I really care?
I guess I never thought he would be interested, I never was before tonight. I mean, it's not that I hadn't notice how good looking he is, With that huge, warm, sensuous smile, sparkling dark eyes and fucking fit body.
But... he's not Nick is he?
God he's the total opposite of Nick...
His warm, tanned skin, dark, mossy eyes, the corded, muscular body, an undercurrent of strength and determination, glistening around him like an aura.
And he's talking to me and I haven't heard a word. Again.
I should really start listening to people.
Especially people I wanna end up in bed with, cause I guess I have to show a little interest if I wanna go somewhere with them.
I look up at him, probably looking a little lost. He smiles, not annoyed, not yet at least, just grimly amused. I think.
"Listen, please? I'm gonna get changed and then we'll have a party at our hotel. I'd love for you to come, if you are up for it."
Am I up for it? Man, you have no idea.
I flash him my slutty- I am all yours babe- smile and agree to meet him in 1 hour.
Now all I have to do, apart taking a shower, is to brace myself for Albert's assault, cause I know he'll be all over me as soon as I enter the tour bus. Unless is otherwise engaged fucking some random girl.
"Oh hello, hello Julian! And where's the lovely Dave? I thought you'd be still around him slobbering! You are such a slag Casablancas!"
Not such luck apparently.
"Don't you have anything else to do Al? Just cause you're getting any, there's no need to take it out on the more fortunate!"
“ You mean you two already fucked? Man, I heard of ejaculatio praecox but that's too much! And who told I'm getting any? I'm getting plenty! Now tell us all the filthy details, you slut!"
I have no escape and he knows it. He won't let it go either, no matter how much I ignore him. Is Albert we are talking about here and he knows me inside out. He knows I will, eventually, give up. So I give in. No reason in fighting the inevitable.
"I'm meeting him in 1 hour at his hotel, they are having a party. Satisfied? Wanna come along?"
"Have I heard the word party? Who you're meeting up with?"
Nick appears in the door frame, bathed in the greenish light of the bus, still wet from the shower.
Hooded blue eyes framed by dark damp eyelashes.
But fuck he's beautiful...
"Jules here has a hot date with the foxy Dave Grohl and I think we should go along, just to make sure that he behaves!"
I'm going to kill Albert. Tomorrow. Now I have to take a shower and get changed and survive the fact that Nick's looking at me like that...
Baby... You are so hot...
Locked in his arms.
No escape...
No escape...
No escape...
Julian...
Fuck Nick, just don't look at me like that... Not now. Not after all this time... Oh... Fuck...
"Julian do you think there would be some hot girls there?"
Right.
Back to reality Julian.
What was I expecting?
A declaration of undying love?
Is not really in character with Nick persona is it?
"I have no idea and I don't fucking care. You'll have to check for yourself. I am sure there'll be plenty to drink though. Don’t worry."
"That's more your scene Ju..."
Now I'm pissed off. Not only he fucks with my mind on a regular basis, now he's also acting like a fucking brat.
"Fuck you Nick! You don't have to come if you don't want to. You can stay here with your coke and enjoy your own company!"
Fuck you Nick.
I'm too tired for this. Too tired for everything.
Even for you.
Where's the euphoria I was feeling only 2 hours ago? I don't want more coke. I don't want anyone else.
I want you.
Fuck you Nick.
Fuck you.
I strip naked, step under the scolding shower and try to wash away all these feelings knotted up in my chest, alongside the sweat and the blood.
I wash my hair. You're in luck Mr Grohl, that doesn't happen too often. I guess I want to make a good impression... Right...
Collect yourself Casablancas! Apparently one of the coolest people in rock reciprocates your lust and you're musing over one lousy fuck? I must be really really far gone.
I change into a fresh pair of black cords and a pinstriped shirt that's on top of my pile of clothes. It smells ok, so it must be one of the clean ones.
I look into the small mirror and my reflection shows me a slightly gaunt version of myself, with dark circles under my eyes, but all in all I look ok.
Time to go.
Albert and Nick are already outside; a car is waiting and I thank God for good managers and considerate friends.
"Where are Fab and Niko?"
"Fab's nowhere to be seen, but Drew was around earlier so fucking is quite high on the list of options. Nikolai went straight to bed, said he was too tired even to be considered fully alive."
"Give me a fag Albert."
“You cheap fucker, where are yours?"
"Forgot them. I'll buy some later. Come on Al."
Nick is silent; eyes fixed on the desert outside the window, while we drive towards Los Angeles.
"Are you nervous Jules? I mean you've got a date with the guy who drummed for Nirvana! He touched Kurt Cobain!"
"You are such an asshole Albert"
"Hey don't play the king of cool with me Julian, I am not the one who owns 3 Nirvana's t-shirts and used to listen to "In Utero" on repeat when we were in school!"
Ok I am guilty. I admit it. I was obsessed with Nirvana. But I was 15 and to be honest I never even thought about Dave when he was in Nirvana, he was just a good drummer with long hair. I was more interested in Kurt. I wanted to be him!
"So, are you nervous?"
Nick's voice is flat and inexpressive. Almost bored. He's no even looking at me; his eyes still fixed outside the car window.
Why are you asking Nick? Why do you wanna Know? Why did you come along? Why do I still want you so?
Do you want me too?
Do you?
"No I am not nervous."
And it's the truth. I am not. Mostly because I don't give a fuck about anything anyway.
Dave's beautiful, no point in denying it. He's hot as hell and I want him.
Nothing more.
I need to satisfy my urge. A pliant body under mine, soft but strong. His muscular arms around me and that very soft mouth to drink from.
I want to fuck him that's it.
But it doesn't mean anything.
He doesn't mean anything.
He's not you.
He won't take anything from me. Not my body for sure.
I will fuck him. He'll be the bitch.
I will be in control.
I'll be the one who's gonna make him scream.
No tears, no blood for you Mr Grohl.
No more.
No more for noone.
Noone.
The first lights of the city are beginning to reflect against the windows and the fleeting sparkles shone a lurid crown upon Nick's hair.
The rest of the journey is silent. Albert quietly smoking, Nick seated on the corner, not looking at me and I can feel his eyes all over my body...