no more george and maria...its all about isaac and hannah

[untouchablestar]

Isaac knew she felt vulnerable. She hates the flash of the camera; he takes her picture while her back is turned. The stereo is in his father’s room and they like to try on his silky suits. Isaac and Hannah can see him in bars, trying to pick up twenty -year old honeys; they’ ll probably fall for his slimy jokes. They lie on his father’s bed and

Comments

[lady_is_a_vamp]

i like. :-)
she's not so delicate, though.
she is woman stength.

nice

[yeahyouknowher]

I think I like it better in poem form. I like how it's more about the father now from the view of these kids. In both versions I do really like the names illustrate how different the characters are, Hannh I love, but the name Isaac is a little too hipster-y maybe? It makes me uncomfortable. Isaac is kind of a scummy name, and I feel like he and Hannah are kind of disgusted by the father's sleaziness

good ol' Isaac.

[art_of_war]

One thing you tend to do is go overboard with adjectives. Don't forget to put in sentences that really ive an action.

I like it though.