Days, Months, Years / 059. Calendar
why do I seem like such a fool
Why did I become like this?
I made a firm decision, again and again.
Why do I keep coming back to you?
The sunlight is pouring into the bedroom, the windows allowing it to cover every single inch in the room. It's almost blinding to look at. With my eyes closed, I draw the curtains back together once again and let my eyes slowly readjust to the darkness. I slowly make my way to the other side of the room and look at the massive calendar in front of me. It was one of the old fashioned ones, the one where you had a page for every month, not the super-high tech touch screen calendars or device that everyone else had. I liked old things, they had history.
March 20, 2010. 27 more days left. Three weeks and six days left. 648 hours. Almost one month. 27 goddamn days until I get to see him again. It's been over six months since I last saw his face, felt his arms around me, or even heard his soft voice in my ear.
The past months have been painful, I'll admit it. I honestly thought I could escape the months without a scar or wound; I thought it would be easy to go through. It was one of those "Yeah, I miss you but I'm doing fine on my own." kind of situations. We all know that what we do could be the complete opposite of what we want to do, no matter how hard we try sometimes.
In the beginning, everything was fine. The lonely nights and cold beds were bearable at first, but once the days turned into weeks, everything began to go downhill. When the weeks turned into months, it became too much for me. Slowly, oh so slowly, I was beginning to lose myself.
I sighed as I held the marker to cross off the day. A quick flick of the wrist and the day was marked. Back to the bed I went, feeling that empty feeling in my stomach again. I slipped under the covers, the tears threatening to fall from my face. A sob managed to come out and then, the breakdown began.
It wouldn't stop until I finally fell asleep and woke up at three in the afternoon the same day. Welcome to the miserable and messed up life of Park Jung-soo.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - ♥
April 2, 2010. Two more weeks until I get to see him. When I crossed the day off, like I always did, did I realize there were only two weeks left. I nearly laughed out loud. The news was exciting, it meant that our reunion would be soon. I've been waiting for six months and now, I was going to be saved from my misery.
I crawled back into the bed, letting the cold fabric of the blankets envelope me. Never have I felt relieved or so calm when going to bed ; it was really a nice feeling. "I love you," I whispered into the air, watching my words disappear before my eyes. No tears from an overload of emotions came. No, tears of joy stained my face, letting an angelic voice sing a lullaby in my ears. I was asleep in a matter of minutes, a smile on my face for the first time in a while.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - ♥
April 15, 2010. Tomorrow is the day. Just 24 hours - wait, it would be less than 24 hours by now - and then everything would be perfect again. I was bouncing with excitement, it was going to be a great day. I could taste it on my tongue now. Tomorrow I'll be wrapped in his arms and I could taste his lips again. I would finally be whole again.
April 16, 2010. Today's the day where I can finally be with him without any bad or sinking feelings in any part of me. The smiles wouldn't be forced anymore and laughs would sound care-free and childish. I could hold his hand tightly and feel his arms around me. The thought of it made my blood rush and my heart pound inside my chest. More butterflies appeared in my stomach once I reached the airport to pick him up. I was like a little kid getting a reward for being good.
I glanced at my wristwatch. It was 4:24PM, eleven minutes until the plane arrived. I was starting to get nervous. What if he changed and I wouldn't recognize him? What if I changed and he wouldn't remember me? Oh dear Shisus, please let today run smoothly for me or else I won't give you dried mangoes for your birthday this year!
4:30PM. Five minutes until showtime. It seemed like time was passing by slower than before. I was getting restless; my eyes kept scanning the crowd for a tall, dark haired man with smiling eyes. Three minutes passed, I could see the first passengers depart the airplane and into loved one's arms. I couldn't help but smile, the moment was nearly here.
"Hyung?" a voice whispered softly in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. A pair of arms made their way around my waist and pulled me closer to the pain with the voice. I closed my eyes, letting his scent surround me. It's been too long, I thought to myself. "I'm home," the man said again, turning me around so I could face him. A warm smile and nice eyes greeted me, making my body feel warm all over.
A pair of lips. A tighter embrace. Sweet words were whispered in my ear again, making the blood rush to my face. I smiled at him, the empty feeling soon disappearing after a few moments with him near me. My heart felt complete now. It was nice, to feel this way. I haven't felt like this in six months.
"Kangin, did I tell you I love you?" I asked him, a smile still plastered on my face. Intertwining our hands together, we walked out the airport. Kangin nodded, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
When the days turn into months, and the months turn into years, I know that I'll never be lost. Only because I had Kangin has my home.
Home sweet home, baby.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - ♥
A/N: awww, kangteuk OTP <34324324723984 i think they're cute, don't judge me. <3 YUM, ANGST/FAILEDFLUFF. i like my stories like that. 8D LOLOL idek what's wrong with me and my bipolar stories. <|3
COMMENTS = HAPPY CINDY.
h'okay, i'll let you go. BYE BB'S.
OH. and { Italicized lyrics are from 2PM's Again and Again }
if you love 2PM, add it in your comment. 8DD
Why did I become like this?
I made a firm decision, again and again.
Why do I keep coming back to you?
The sunlight is pouring into the bedroom, the windows allowing it to cover every single inch in the room. It's almost blinding to look at. With my eyes closed, I draw the curtains back together once again and let my eyes slowly readjust to the darkness. I slowly make my way to the other side of the room and look at the massive calendar in front of me. It was one of the old fashioned ones, the one where you had a page for every month, not the super-high tech touch screen calendars or device that everyone else had. I liked old things, they had history.
March 20, 2010. 27 more days left. Three weeks and six days left. 648 hours. Almost one month. 27 goddamn days until I get to see him again. It's been over six months since I last saw his face, felt his arms around me, or even heard his soft voice in my ear.
The past months have been painful, I'll admit it. I honestly thought I could escape the months without a scar or wound; I thought it would be easy to go through. It was one of those "Yeah, I miss you but I'm doing fine on my own." kind of situations. We all know that what we do could be the complete opposite of what we want to do, no matter how hard we try sometimes.
In the beginning, everything was fine. The lonely nights and cold beds were bearable at first, but once the days turned into weeks, everything began to go downhill. When the weeks turned into months, it became too much for me. Slowly, oh so slowly, I was beginning to lose myself.
I sighed as I held the marker to cross off the day. A quick flick of the wrist and the day was marked. Back to the bed I went, feeling that empty feeling in my stomach again. I slipped under the covers, the tears threatening to fall from my face. A sob managed to come out and then, the breakdown began.
It wouldn't stop until I finally fell asleep and woke up at three in the afternoon the same day. Welcome to the miserable and messed up life of Park Jung-soo.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - ♥
April 2, 2010. Two more weeks until I get to see him. When I crossed the day off, like I always did, did I realize there were only two weeks left. I nearly laughed out loud. The news was exciting, it meant that our reunion would be soon. I've been waiting for six months and now, I was going to be saved from my misery.
I crawled back into the bed, letting the cold fabric of the blankets envelope me. Never have I felt relieved or so calm when going to bed ; it was really a nice feeling. "I love you," I whispered into the air, watching my words disappear before my eyes. No tears from an overload of emotions came. No, tears of joy stained my face, letting an angelic voice sing a lullaby in my ears. I was asleep in a matter of minutes, a smile on my face for the first time in a while.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - ♥
April 15, 2010. Tomorrow is the day. Just 24 hours - wait, it would be less than 24 hours by now - and then everything would be perfect again. I was bouncing with excitement, it was going to be a great day. I could taste it on my tongue now. Tomorrow I'll be wrapped in his arms and I could taste his lips again. I would finally be whole again.
April 16, 2010. Today's the day where I can finally be with him without any bad or sinking feelings in any part of me. The smiles wouldn't be forced anymore and laughs would sound care-free and childish. I could hold his hand tightly and feel his arms around me. The thought of it made my blood rush and my heart pound inside my chest. More butterflies appeared in my stomach once I reached the airport to pick him up. I was like a little kid getting a reward for being good.
I glanced at my wristwatch. It was 4:24PM, eleven minutes until the plane arrived. I was starting to get nervous. What if he changed and I wouldn't recognize him? What if I changed and he wouldn't remember me? Oh dear Shisus, please let today run smoothly for me or else I won't give you dried mangoes for your birthday this year!
4:30PM. Five minutes until showtime. It seemed like time was passing by slower than before. I was getting restless; my eyes kept scanning the crowd for a tall, dark haired man with smiling eyes. Three minutes passed, I could see the first passengers depart the airplane and into loved one's arms. I couldn't help but smile, the moment was nearly here.
"Hyung?" a voice whispered softly in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. A pair of arms made their way around my waist and pulled me closer to the pain with the voice. I closed my eyes, letting his scent surround me. It's been too long, I thought to myself. "I'm home," the man said again, turning me around so I could face him. A warm smile and nice eyes greeted me, making my body feel warm all over.
A pair of lips. A tighter embrace. Sweet words were whispered in my ear again, making the blood rush to my face. I smiled at him, the empty feeling soon disappearing after a few moments with him near me. My heart felt complete now. It was nice, to feel this way. I haven't felt like this in six months.
"Kangin, did I tell you I love you?" I asked him, a smile still plastered on my face. Intertwining our hands together, we walked out the airport. Kangin nodded, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
When the days turn into months, and the months turn into years, I know that I'll never be lost. Only because I had Kangin has my home.
Home sweet home, baby.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - ♥
A/N: awww, kangteuk OTP <34324324723984 i think they're cute, don't judge me. <3 YUM, ANGST/FAILEDFLUFF. i like my stories like that. 8D LOLOL idek what's wrong with me and my bipolar stories. <|3
COMMENTS = HAPPY CINDY.
h'okay, i'll let you go. BYE BB'S.
OH. and { Italicized lyrics are from 2PM's Again and Again }
if you love 2PM, add it in your comment. 8DD