Special
Title - Special
Author - unwritten_ideas
Rating - PG
Word Count - 2,962
Characters - Gackt, You
Disclaimer - don’t own squat and if I did, I’d be posting this with pictures
Summary - Gackt is beginning the year snowboarding with friends, but both he and You are feeling the distance
Notes - there actually was a snowboarding holiday at the start of year. Gackt, You, U:zo and friends spent some time on the slopes and this is set during those days.
Gackt was pretty sure that he’d be the only one awake this early in the morning. He silently crept down the stairs of the mountain lodge he’d rented for the week - big enough for everyone that had come on the New Year’s snowboarding trip with him and far enough away from the main resort to guarantee some privacy - and headed for the large veranda doors that led outside. As he walked, he tightened his hold on the comforter wrapped around his shoulders as his movements were causing it to slip with every step. It covered him from shoulder to feet and he knew that he probably looked silly bundled up in the tasteful cream and brown design it was covered in, but it was warm and it was very cold outside.
He was surprised to see that his idea of watching the sunrise over the mountain had been shared by somebody else as he could see a silhouetted figure stood out in the dark on the decking.
Gackt wasn’t surprised at all, however, to see that it was You.
Despite Gackt’s best attempts at being quiet, You had heard the soft footsteps coming down the stairs. He had wondered if it was somebody after a late night snack or drink and hadn’t thought of greeting them - he wanted the peace and quiet and hoped that they wouldn’t see him and would go back to bed. When the footsteps carried on past the small kitchen and towards the decking that he currently stood on, You saw his chances of a peaceful dawn disappear.
He quickly glanced over his shoulder and saw Gackt approach with a half smile on his lips. Who else could it possibly have been at this time of the morning?
You quickly turned back to face the beautiful mountain that stretched out before him. “I wish I had my camera right now.”
Gackt was still stood inside the lodge but poked his head through the open doors to get a better look. “It’s not dawn yet so you still have time to get it.”
“Not for the dawn,” You explained, “but for you. You look ridiculous.”
And Gackt did. The only part of Gackt that You could actually see was his head, as Gackt’s entire body from his neck down to his toes was bundled up inside the comforter that was dragging on the floor slightly. Gackt wore no make up and thanks to his sleepy brown eyes and mussed blonde hair that was pointing in all directions, looked like he’d just rolled out of bed after a terrible night’s sleep.
Which, You realised, he probably had.
“I could live off the profits and buy a small island somewhere hot if I sold photos of you looking like this to fangirls,” You said with a smirk.
“You don’t like the heat,” Gackt said with a mock pout, “besides, I’m warm and that’s all I care about right now. It seems really cold out there.”
So cold, that if Gackt strained his eyes he thought he could see You’s breath as it escaped his mouth and hit the cold air. You was stood fully outside in a pair of old grey sweatpants that Gackt knew he slept in during the winter months and had a blanket around his shoulders that came down to his waist. Gackt recognised the pale green of the blanket as the one that was usually draped over the couch in the lodge’s living room, and he knew that it was far too thin to offer any protection against the cold and snowy mountain.
“You must be freezing,” Gackt said with a hint of disbelief in his voice.
You had been so lost in the beauty of his surroundings before Gackt had arrived that he hadn’t noticed the cold. Now that the thought had been put into his mind, it was all he could think about. “I was fine until you arrived wearing the latest line in Eskimo chic.”
“We can share it,” Gackt offered. You had always been prone to catching colds and the flu and Gackt didn’t want to risk You becoming ill again.
“I don’t think it’s big enough for two. You should keep it,” You refused. Gackt had always been prone to catching chills and fevers due to his already low body temperature and even lower body fat and You didn’t want to risk Gackt needing the hospital again.
Gackt rolled his eyes, stepped outside and shrugged the comforter from his shoulders. Before You could react it had been hastily thrown over his shoulders and Gackt was standing in front of him, his back to You’s chest, as Gackt rearranged the edges of the comforter so that it cocooned them both.
The combination of the heavy bedding sheltering him from the cold wind and the body heat of the man stood dangerously close warmed You considerably. It also made him a little nervous. “Isn’t this a little close?” You asked.
“We’ve been closer,” Gackt replied dismissively. “If it’s a problem you can go back inside, into the warmth.”
“It’s not a problem,” You said and it wasn’t really. Just uncomfortable, maybe. “I just wouldn’t be stood like this with any other man.”
They were close, but not touching. Gackt had the edges of the comforter in his hands and was forced to remain close to You to keep them both covered. They were both looking out at the snow covered landscape before them, but You knew that if he turned his head his nose would be buried in Gackt’s messy hair. You could smell him - not the cloud of Platinum Egoiste that followed the singer everywhere, but the scent of his shampoo, the clean and simple smell of the moisturiser that was working its magic on Gackt’s skin and simply just Gackt.
You took a deep breath. “If you were U:zo I wouldn’t be stood here like this with you.”
“Aw,” Gackt said. “I think U:zo looks like a cuddler.”
You couldn’t help but smile. “You know what I mean, Gaku.”
Gackt nodded his head. “I wouldn’t stand like this with U:zo either.”
You’s smile grew wider. “Because he’s scared of you. He’d be halfway up the nearest tree by now if you tried this with him.”
Gackt laughed and You could feel his whole body shake. “I’ll make a man out of him before this is all over.”
“I have no doubt,” You smiled.
They fell into silence, both of them staring out across the snowy landscape before them. There were no artificial lights here, no streetlights to interrupt the darkness or glowing neon signs that covered every street in Greater Tokyo. The moon was low and full and the stars bright and Gackt found that his gaze was drawn by the moon that had influenced so much of his song writing. It had been a long time since Gackt had taken the time to look at the moon and Gackt was surprised by how much he missed it.
You shuffled on his feet behind him and Gackt felt a burst of warm breath caress his ear as You sighed deeply. It wasn’t a frustrated or sad sigh but a content one and Gackt finally tore his eyes away from the moon so that he could look at his sun.
“I wish we could stay here forever,” Gackt said softly. “Let’s just snowboard everyday and fuck the recording.”
“The record company would have the search and rescue teams dispatched to drag us back to Tokyo within a day,” You said. Gackt’s suggestion sounded like heaven to him too but he knew it wasn’t practical or possible. Gackt, however, didn’t believe in impossibilities. “Besides, what would you do during the summer?”
Gackt thought for a few seconds. “Take up surfing?”
You laughed again. “You do realise that involves being in the sea and getting your hair wet?”
Both men knew of Gackt’s dislike and distrust of large bodies of water. “It’d be worth the potential drowning if it means we could stay here.”
“You really love this, don’t you?” You asked gently.
Gackt closed his eyes. “No pressure, no fans, no record companies, just a mountain and a group of people I care about. Of course I love it.”
In the dull light of the moon You could see the tiredness etched into Gackt’s face. YFC had supposed to be a break for Gackt, a chance for him to step back and allow others to take the lead in song writing, production and staging and although it had largely been that, the record company had demanded solo work from Gackt also and Gackt had spent the last six months busier than ever.
But that wasn’t what irritated You the most as Gackt was always busy and You knew that the world would end before Gackt stopped being busy. As You breathed in deeply and was hit by another lungful of all of the wonderful smells that made up that cold mountain and the man stood slightly awkwardly in front of him, he realised that what irritated him the most was how distant Gackt had been from him throughout it all.
Gackt had been right earlier. They had been much, much closer than this in years gone by. It hadn’t really been that many years since they’d lived together and woken up next to each other every morning. He’d felt Gackt’s arms around him more times than he could count and could remember how it felt to have Gackt’s head upon his shoulder as the singer fell asleep on yet another plane. Or car. Or seat backstage, or anywhere else Gackt decided to doze off and use You as a pillow.
They’d spent so much time together, yet apart, during their time in YFC that You had forgotten those things. Gackt was always talking with Takumi about song arrangements or chattering away with Jon in English that nobody else could understand, least of all You. But You wasn’t innocent either. He’d spent most of his nights drinking with U:zo and Chef Izumi because Gackt had decided to stop drinking for the tour and it meant that they’d hardly spent any time together.
It wasn’t until he thought about it that You realised how much he’d missed Gackt and his tendency to fall asleep on him or to talk about nothing at all until You wanted to strangle him. He’d missed seeing Gackt smile, and more importantly he missed being the person to make Gackt smile.
Was that selfish?
You moved his arms from where they hung awkwardly at his sides and wrapped them around Gackt’s trim waist. Gackt stiffened in shock, but soon relaxed and took a small step backwards so that his back was against You’s chest. You felt warm from the inside out.
“That’s better,” Gackt murmured, his eyes still closed, “there’s been too much distance between us lately.”
“You felt it too?” You asked.
“Every second,” Gackt replied. “I know we’ve never lived in each other’s pockets but….”
Gackt didn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t know how to. It was true that he and You had always had their own interests away from each other and didn’t need to be with each other all of the time. During their rare time off they’d occasionally go days without speaking to each other apart from a few short emails. But that was okay. Because Gackt had always known that if he asked, You would be there. Whenever they did spend time together it was as if the world belonged to them, and them alone.
Gackt couldn’t even begin to label his relationship with You. He knew that not even his talent with words could adequately describe the connection between them and he’d given up trying years ago.
You, however, was still trying. “Now I definitely wouldn’t be stood here like this with U:zo,” he said, pausing. “Or anyone else, actually.”
“I’m honoured,” Gackt said, his words coming out as a breathy sigh and a smile.
You turned his head slightly, the bridge of his nose brushing the growing blonde locks that framed the side of Gackt’s face. Gackt’s hair was soft, fluffy and smelt like a million different fruits and spices at once and You couldn’t identify any of them. “What is this?” You asked.
“What is what?”
“This,” You repeated before clarifying, “us.”
Gackt sighed and shuffled on his feet. “Does it matter?”
“You confuse me, Gaku, you always have,” You said honestly. “I don’t know what I am to you,” he paused and took a deep breath before continuing in a quieter voice, “and I don’t know what you are to me.”
Gackt readjusted the edges of the comforter so that he could hold it all together in one hand and placed his other hand on one of the arms wrapped around his waist. “I don’t understand why you’re so obsessed by this need to define the indefinable,” Gackt said. “Just accept it for what it is.”
“And what is it?” You asked.
“Something that makes you happy,” Gackt answered. He fell silent for a few seconds before saying, hesitantly, “I do make you happy, right?”
You kissed him then. It was nothing more than a soft barely there brush of You’s cold chapped lips against Gackt’s temple and messy bed hair, but it felt as real to Gackt as the freezing cold wind that blew across his face.
“You’re a pain in the ass that works me too hard and drags me around the world on your latest crazy adventure,” You said with a smile, “but even on the worst day, you make me happy.”
“Then that’s all that matters,” Gackt said firmly.
“Yeah, but…”
Gackt sighed again but it wasn’t out of frustration this time, the slight smile on his lips as the air escaped him showed that this sigh was purely for dramatic effect. You recognised this and couldn’t help but smile either.
“Look, I’m the only Gackt in the world….”
“Thankfully,” You interrupted. “The world couldn’t cope with two. I think it would bring about the apocalypse.”
Gackt opened his eyes and turned his head so that he could glare at You, but there was no heat in his stare just poorly concealed amusement. Gackt loved the teasing and You, well, as he looked into Gackt’s deep brown eyes he thought that he could see the moon and every star that hung in the sky.
“As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted,” Gackt said, still trying to suppress a smile, “I’m the only Gackt in the world and you’re the only You. We’re unique. Doesn’t it make sense that the relationship between us will be unique too? It doesn’t need labels, You-kun, it just needs us.”
You fell silent as he thought upon Gackt’s words and Gackt gave him the time and space he needed. You had always been grasping for the correct label to describe their strange relationship, as if he needed some way to categorise it and file it away in his mind. They were lovers that had never had sex, brothers that were too close and friends that were in love. Even soul mates, the label they’d so happily thrown around for years no longer seemed to cover all of the bases.
Eventually, You spoke. “Gaku,” he said, “I hate it when you’re clever.”
Gackt laughed, the laughter leaving him in choked giggles that he couldn’t control and grew louder by the second. You was worried that the singer would wake up everyone in the lodge, but then he realised that he didn’t care.
Gackt was laughing. Because of him. Let the whole damn mountain come crashing down around them.
When Gackt was able to speak again, he leaned his forehead against You’s and smiled. “But I’m always clever.”
“No, you just think you are.”
“Don’t be mean,” Gackt said with a mock pout. He wouldn’t usually resort to such childish tactics, but with You, it was okay. It always was. Gackt looked out across the mountain again. “I think the dawn is running late.”
“It must be on Gackt time,” You grinned.
“Hey, I’m the only allowed to be on Gackt time,” Gackt said, “and I’m getting bored of waiting.”
“Now you know how the rest of us feel when we’re waiting for you.”
“I don’t have to listen to these insults,” Gackt smiled, “I’m going back to bed.”
You reluctantly dropped his arms from their position around Gackt’s waist and blushed slightly when Gackt kissed his cheek. Gackt had done it before, millions of times, but the conversation they’d just had made the gesture that much more meaningful. If Gackt noticed his blush, he made no sign of it.
Before You could react fully, Gackt was out of the comforter cocoon and back inside the lodge. “Are you staying for the dawn?”
“Probably,” You answered.
Gackt nodded and was halfway across the living room before he turned around and called out to You again. “You-kun?”
“Hmm-hmm?” You answered, adjusting the comforter so that it covered him better.
“I can’t sleep without my comforter. You know where my bedroom is. Bring it with you when you come in.”
It took a couple of seconds for Gackt’s words to sink in properly and when they did, You stared at him with wide eyes. “Are you suggesting we…”
“Yes.”
You looked back out across the mountain. Finally, the first signs of dawn could be seen breaking over the mountain but You turned away and walked back inside, shutting both the veranda doors and the curtains that covered them. The dawn would have no audience this morning.
Dawn happens everyday. But this, this was special.
Maybe special was the only label that was ever needed.
~owari
Notes
1) You can decide for yourself what Gackt meant - whether it was sex or simply being close again.
2) I can never decide if I like them more as a couple, or just as friends who mean the world to each other. Their friendship is so precious that some days, I don't want to write them as anything more.
Author - unwritten_ideas
Rating - PG
Word Count - 2,962
Characters - Gackt, You
Disclaimer - don’t own squat and if I did, I’d be posting this with pictures
Summary - Gackt is beginning the year snowboarding with friends, but both he and You are feeling the distance
Notes - there actually was a snowboarding holiday at the start of year. Gackt, You, U:zo and friends spent some time on the slopes and this is set during those days.
Gackt was pretty sure that he’d be the only one awake this early in the morning. He silently crept down the stairs of the mountain lodge he’d rented for the week - big enough for everyone that had come on the New Year’s snowboarding trip with him and far enough away from the main resort to guarantee some privacy - and headed for the large veranda doors that led outside. As he walked, he tightened his hold on the comforter wrapped around his shoulders as his movements were causing it to slip with every step. It covered him from shoulder to feet and he knew that he probably looked silly bundled up in the tasteful cream and brown design it was covered in, but it was warm and it was very cold outside.
He was surprised to see that his idea of watching the sunrise over the mountain had been shared by somebody else as he could see a silhouetted figure stood out in the dark on the decking.
Gackt wasn’t surprised at all, however, to see that it was You.
Despite Gackt’s best attempts at being quiet, You had heard the soft footsteps coming down the stairs. He had wondered if it was somebody after a late night snack or drink and hadn’t thought of greeting them - he wanted the peace and quiet and hoped that they wouldn’t see him and would go back to bed. When the footsteps carried on past the small kitchen and towards the decking that he currently stood on, You saw his chances of a peaceful dawn disappear.
He quickly glanced over his shoulder and saw Gackt approach with a half smile on his lips. Who else could it possibly have been at this time of the morning?
You quickly turned back to face the beautiful mountain that stretched out before him. “I wish I had my camera right now.”
Gackt was still stood inside the lodge but poked his head through the open doors to get a better look. “It’s not dawn yet so you still have time to get it.”
“Not for the dawn,” You explained, “but for you. You look ridiculous.”
And Gackt did. The only part of Gackt that You could actually see was his head, as Gackt’s entire body from his neck down to his toes was bundled up inside the comforter that was dragging on the floor slightly. Gackt wore no make up and thanks to his sleepy brown eyes and mussed blonde hair that was pointing in all directions, looked like he’d just rolled out of bed after a terrible night’s sleep.
Which, You realised, he probably had.
“I could live off the profits and buy a small island somewhere hot if I sold photos of you looking like this to fangirls,” You said with a smirk.
“You don’t like the heat,” Gackt said with a mock pout, “besides, I’m warm and that’s all I care about right now. It seems really cold out there.”
So cold, that if Gackt strained his eyes he thought he could see You’s breath as it escaped his mouth and hit the cold air. You was stood fully outside in a pair of old grey sweatpants that Gackt knew he slept in during the winter months and had a blanket around his shoulders that came down to his waist. Gackt recognised the pale green of the blanket as the one that was usually draped over the couch in the lodge’s living room, and he knew that it was far too thin to offer any protection against the cold and snowy mountain.
“You must be freezing,” Gackt said with a hint of disbelief in his voice.
You had been so lost in the beauty of his surroundings before Gackt had arrived that he hadn’t noticed the cold. Now that the thought had been put into his mind, it was all he could think about. “I was fine until you arrived wearing the latest line in Eskimo chic.”
“We can share it,” Gackt offered. You had always been prone to catching colds and the flu and Gackt didn’t want to risk You becoming ill again.
“I don’t think it’s big enough for two. You should keep it,” You refused. Gackt had always been prone to catching chills and fevers due to his already low body temperature and even lower body fat and You didn’t want to risk Gackt needing the hospital again.
Gackt rolled his eyes, stepped outside and shrugged the comforter from his shoulders. Before You could react it had been hastily thrown over his shoulders and Gackt was standing in front of him, his back to You’s chest, as Gackt rearranged the edges of the comforter so that it cocooned them both.
The combination of the heavy bedding sheltering him from the cold wind and the body heat of the man stood dangerously close warmed You considerably. It also made him a little nervous. “Isn’t this a little close?” You asked.
“We’ve been closer,” Gackt replied dismissively. “If it’s a problem you can go back inside, into the warmth.”
“It’s not a problem,” You said and it wasn’t really. Just uncomfortable, maybe. “I just wouldn’t be stood like this with any other man.”
They were close, but not touching. Gackt had the edges of the comforter in his hands and was forced to remain close to You to keep them both covered. They were both looking out at the snow covered landscape before them, but You knew that if he turned his head his nose would be buried in Gackt’s messy hair. You could smell him - not the cloud of Platinum Egoiste that followed the singer everywhere, but the scent of his shampoo, the clean and simple smell of the moisturiser that was working its magic on Gackt’s skin and simply just Gackt.
You took a deep breath. “If you were U:zo I wouldn’t be stood here like this with you.”
“Aw,” Gackt said. “I think U:zo looks like a cuddler.”
You couldn’t help but smile. “You know what I mean, Gaku.”
Gackt nodded his head. “I wouldn’t stand like this with U:zo either.”
You’s smile grew wider. “Because he’s scared of you. He’d be halfway up the nearest tree by now if you tried this with him.”
Gackt laughed and You could feel his whole body shake. “I’ll make a man out of him before this is all over.”
“I have no doubt,” You smiled.
They fell into silence, both of them staring out across the snowy landscape before them. There were no artificial lights here, no streetlights to interrupt the darkness or glowing neon signs that covered every street in Greater Tokyo. The moon was low and full and the stars bright and Gackt found that his gaze was drawn by the moon that had influenced so much of his song writing. It had been a long time since Gackt had taken the time to look at the moon and Gackt was surprised by how much he missed it.
You shuffled on his feet behind him and Gackt felt a burst of warm breath caress his ear as You sighed deeply. It wasn’t a frustrated or sad sigh but a content one and Gackt finally tore his eyes away from the moon so that he could look at his sun.
“I wish we could stay here forever,” Gackt said softly. “Let’s just snowboard everyday and fuck the recording.”
“The record company would have the search and rescue teams dispatched to drag us back to Tokyo within a day,” You said. Gackt’s suggestion sounded like heaven to him too but he knew it wasn’t practical or possible. Gackt, however, didn’t believe in impossibilities. “Besides, what would you do during the summer?”
Gackt thought for a few seconds. “Take up surfing?”
You laughed again. “You do realise that involves being in the sea and getting your hair wet?”
Both men knew of Gackt’s dislike and distrust of large bodies of water. “It’d be worth the potential drowning if it means we could stay here.”
“You really love this, don’t you?” You asked gently.
Gackt closed his eyes. “No pressure, no fans, no record companies, just a mountain and a group of people I care about. Of course I love it.”
In the dull light of the moon You could see the tiredness etched into Gackt’s face. YFC had supposed to be a break for Gackt, a chance for him to step back and allow others to take the lead in song writing, production and staging and although it had largely been that, the record company had demanded solo work from Gackt also and Gackt had spent the last six months busier than ever.
But that wasn’t what irritated You the most as Gackt was always busy and You knew that the world would end before Gackt stopped being busy. As You breathed in deeply and was hit by another lungful of all of the wonderful smells that made up that cold mountain and the man stood slightly awkwardly in front of him, he realised that what irritated him the most was how distant Gackt had been from him throughout it all.
Gackt had been right earlier. They had been much, much closer than this in years gone by. It hadn’t really been that many years since they’d lived together and woken up next to each other every morning. He’d felt Gackt’s arms around him more times than he could count and could remember how it felt to have Gackt’s head upon his shoulder as the singer fell asleep on yet another plane. Or car. Or seat backstage, or anywhere else Gackt decided to doze off and use You as a pillow.
They’d spent so much time together, yet apart, during their time in YFC that You had forgotten those things. Gackt was always talking with Takumi about song arrangements or chattering away with Jon in English that nobody else could understand, least of all You. But You wasn’t innocent either. He’d spent most of his nights drinking with U:zo and Chef Izumi because Gackt had decided to stop drinking for the tour and it meant that they’d hardly spent any time together.
It wasn’t until he thought about it that You realised how much he’d missed Gackt and his tendency to fall asleep on him or to talk about nothing at all until You wanted to strangle him. He’d missed seeing Gackt smile, and more importantly he missed being the person to make Gackt smile.
Was that selfish?
You moved his arms from where they hung awkwardly at his sides and wrapped them around Gackt’s trim waist. Gackt stiffened in shock, but soon relaxed and took a small step backwards so that his back was against You’s chest. You felt warm from the inside out.
“That’s better,” Gackt murmured, his eyes still closed, “there’s been too much distance between us lately.”
“You felt it too?” You asked.
“Every second,” Gackt replied. “I know we’ve never lived in each other’s pockets but….”
Gackt didn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t know how to. It was true that he and You had always had their own interests away from each other and didn’t need to be with each other all of the time. During their rare time off they’d occasionally go days without speaking to each other apart from a few short emails. But that was okay. Because Gackt had always known that if he asked, You would be there. Whenever they did spend time together it was as if the world belonged to them, and them alone.
Gackt couldn’t even begin to label his relationship with You. He knew that not even his talent with words could adequately describe the connection between them and he’d given up trying years ago.
You, however, was still trying. “Now I definitely wouldn’t be stood here like this with U:zo,” he said, pausing. “Or anyone else, actually.”
“I’m honoured,” Gackt said, his words coming out as a breathy sigh and a smile.
You turned his head slightly, the bridge of his nose brushing the growing blonde locks that framed the side of Gackt’s face. Gackt’s hair was soft, fluffy and smelt like a million different fruits and spices at once and You couldn’t identify any of them. “What is this?” You asked.
“What is what?”
“This,” You repeated before clarifying, “us.”
Gackt sighed and shuffled on his feet. “Does it matter?”
“You confuse me, Gaku, you always have,” You said honestly. “I don’t know what I am to you,” he paused and took a deep breath before continuing in a quieter voice, “and I don’t know what you are to me.”
Gackt readjusted the edges of the comforter so that he could hold it all together in one hand and placed his other hand on one of the arms wrapped around his waist. “I don’t understand why you’re so obsessed by this need to define the indefinable,” Gackt said. “Just accept it for what it is.”
“And what is it?” You asked.
“Something that makes you happy,” Gackt answered. He fell silent for a few seconds before saying, hesitantly, “I do make you happy, right?”
You kissed him then. It was nothing more than a soft barely there brush of You’s cold chapped lips against Gackt’s temple and messy bed hair, but it felt as real to Gackt as the freezing cold wind that blew across his face.
“You’re a pain in the ass that works me too hard and drags me around the world on your latest crazy adventure,” You said with a smile, “but even on the worst day, you make me happy.”
“Then that’s all that matters,” Gackt said firmly.
“Yeah, but…”
Gackt sighed again but it wasn’t out of frustration this time, the slight smile on his lips as the air escaped him showed that this sigh was purely for dramatic effect. You recognised this and couldn’t help but smile either.
“Look, I’m the only Gackt in the world….”
“Thankfully,” You interrupted. “The world couldn’t cope with two. I think it would bring about the apocalypse.”
Gackt opened his eyes and turned his head so that he could glare at You, but there was no heat in his stare just poorly concealed amusement. Gackt loved the teasing and You, well, as he looked into Gackt’s deep brown eyes he thought that he could see the moon and every star that hung in the sky.
“As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted,” Gackt said, still trying to suppress a smile, “I’m the only Gackt in the world and you’re the only You. We’re unique. Doesn’t it make sense that the relationship between us will be unique too? It doesn’t need labels, You-kun, it just needs us.”
You fell silent as he thought upon Gackt’s words and Gackt gave him the time and space he needed. You had always been grasping for the correct label to describe their strange relationship, as if he needed some way to categorise it and file it away in his mind. They were lovers that had never had sex, brothers that were too close and friends that were in love. Even soul mates, the label they’d so happily thrown around for years no longer seemed to cover all of the bases.
Eventually, You spoke. “Gaku,” he said, “I hate it when you’re clever.”
Gackt laughed, the laughter leaving him in choked giggles that he couldn’t control and grew louder by the second. You was worried that the singer would wake up everyone in the lodge, but then he realised that he didn’t care.
Gackt was laughing. Because of him. Let the whole damn mountain come crashing down around them.
When Gackt was able to speak again, he leaned his forehead against You’s and smiled. “But I’m always clever.”
“No, you just think you are.”
“Don’t be mean,” Gackt said with a mock pout. He wouldn’t usually resort to such childish tactics, but with You, it was okay. It always was. Gackt looked out across the mountain again. “I think the dawn is running late.”
“It must be on Gackt time,” You grinned.
“Hey, I’m the only allowed to be on Gackt time,” Gackt said, “and I’m getting bored of waiting.”
“Now you know how the rest of us feel when we’re waiting for you.”
“I don’t have to listen to these insults,” Gackt smiled, “I’m going back to bed.”
You reluctantly dropped his arms from their position around Gackt’s waist and blushed slightly when Gackt kissed his cheek. Gackt had done it before, millions of times, but the conversation they’d just had made the gesture that much more meaningful. If Gackt noticed his blush, he made no sign of it.
Before You could react fully, Gackt was out of the comforter cocoon and back inside the lodge. “Are you staying for the dawn?”
“Probably,” You answered.
Gackt nodded and was halfway across the living room before he turned around and called out to You again. “You-kun?”
“Hmm-hmm?” You answered, adjusting the comforter so that it covered him better.
“I can’t sleep without my comforter. You know where my bedroom is. Bring it with you when you come in.”
It took a couple of seconds for Gackt’s words to sink in properly and when they did, You stared at him with wide eyes. “Are you suggesting we…”
“Yes.”
You looked back out across the mountain. Finally, the first signs of dawn could be seen breaking over the mountain but You turned away and walked back inside, shutting both the veranda doors and the curtains that covered them. The dawn would have no audience this morning.
Dawn happens everyday. But this, this was special.
Maybe special was the only label that was ever needed.
~owari
Notes
1) You can decide for yourself what Gackt meant - whether it was sex or simply being close again.
2) I can never decide if I like them more as a couple, or just as friends who mean the world to each other. Their friendship is so precious that some days, I don't want to write them as anything more.