Conversation
slayrvamp42: i will probably always be alone
punkgoddess71: dont say that, thats not true!
slayrvamp42: that's what it feels like
slayrvamp42: its so painful
slayrvamp42: no one has any idea
slayrvamp42: they just figure i need a shrink
slayrvamp42: but that's not the reason I isolate myself
slayrvamp42: I isolate myself because I hate it here
slayrvamp42: people aren't open mindec
slayrvamp42: minded
slayrvamp42: and they don't want jack to do with me
slayrvamp42: they're just rude and blow me off
punkgoddess71: i know exactly how you feel, actually. i do the same thing. isolating myself,
and whatnot. but its not cause im crazy. its cause i hate it here and the people here are ... retarded.
slayrvamp42: yeah
slayrvamp42: see that's exactly how it is
slayrvamp42: I cry a whole lot
slayrvamp42: because people are bastards
punkgoddess71: yeah they are. stupid people
slayrvamp42: i dunno, I just feel dumb all around even thinking about it
slayrvamp42: I can't find anyone to connect with anymore
slayrvamp42: and I don't like the friends, the few that I have now
slayrvamp42: i feel so miserable about the whole thing
slayrvamp42: and people just think I need a shrink
slayrvamp42: that's not the cure for any of it
slayrvamp42: i hate holding all this stuff in
slayrvamp42: i hate the way people make me feel
slayrvamp42: and everyone assumes "just deal with it"
slayrvamp42: but that's all i've been forced to do
slayrvamp42: be strong and all this bullshit
slayrvamp42: its not that easy
slayrvamp42: i want to be happy
slayrvamp42: and its not happening at all
slayrvamp42: I almost give up on
slayrvamp42: even the thought of it
punkgoddess71: i know.. people have no clue, you know?
punkgoddess71: i want to be happy too. and it just seems like happiness is so far away
punkgoddess71: and it makes me want to give up, too
slayrvamp42: yeah
slayrvamp42: i dunno
slayrvamp42: People don't understand how much pressure there is
slayrvamp42: to be someone in the world without friends or the ability to connect with people
slayrvamp42: it makes you feel trapped every single day
punkgoddess71: yes! see, i know exactly how you feel
slayrvamp42: I wish you were here with me
slayrvamp42: at least a friend
slayrvamp42: I don't have any anymore
slayrvamp42: really
slayrvamp42: i mean I do...but
slayrvamp42: they don't understand at all
slayrvamp42: and its not just because I assume it
slayrvamp42: they don't get it
slayrvamp42: they just think i'm overreacting or something
slayrvamp42: I want to see Brent because he means a lot to me
slayrvamp42: he's such a free spirit in some ways
slayrvamp42: and a lot of people think its just his character
slayrvamp42: but I think he's great
punkgoddess71: yeah he is great
slayrvamp42: he does a lot of positive things and he's so talented
slayrvamp42: and some think i'm so retarded for thinking of him as a role model
slayrvamp42: but he is a good person all around
slayrvamp42: he seems to have so much fun
slayrvamp42: maybe part of me wishes I could have that too
punkgoddess71: yeah, i know what you mean. you can have it, you will. anyone who thinks
youre retarded, just doesnt understand. and thats their fault, not yours. you really shouldnt
feel retarded at all
slayrvamp42: i know
slayrvamp42: i know
slayrvamp42: its just a big mess
slayrvamp42: i don't connect with the people here
slayrvamp42: i just don't
slayrvamp42: it feels impossible
slayrvamp42: i like different stuff
slayrvamp42: and its hicksville here
punkgoddess71: i know, i dont connect with the people here either. most of my REALLY
close friends, ive met online. maybe sad, but you know, they understand me.
punkgoddess71: yeah. ilive in hicksville too haha