hearing (in the silence)

Nov 25, 2014 02:35

Title: hearing (in the silence)
Pairing: Kai/Kyungsoo
Genre: fluff (shock horror r u sure you wrote fluff) (yes i’m sure)
Length: 2405w
Summary: Sometimes, it’s the things we don’t say that scream the loudest.



When Jongin wakes, it's to the sound of Kyungsoo's deep breathing, it's to the sight of tangled sheets bathed in soft light. When he wakes, the moon is somewhere on the borders of midnight brilliance and its early morning phantom, and there’s a strip of warmth across his waist where Kyungsoo’s arm is slung over it.

When he wakes, it’s to the sight of Kyungsoo sleeping soundly next to him, the curve of his cheeks, the dip of his nose. When Kyungsoo sleeps he looks like all his worries have faded, and Jongin can’t help but smile to himself as he brushes hair out of his boyfriend’s forehead, shuffles closer to press a kiss to it.

Kyungsoo stirs, his nose wrinkling up as his head turns sharply to one side, but then he settles again and he’s unmoving, sleep tying a peaceful mask over his features once more.

The smile on Jongin’s lips blooms further, doesn’t fade with the passing seconds he spends just looking at his boyfriend, at the slither of perfection he’s been allowed to wake up next to for the first time in his life.

He presses his lips together.

He could get used to this.

+

Jongdae trudges noisily towards the table Jongin’s sitting at in the library, his laptop on in front of him, a thick textbook propped up against the wall next to him. His stomps can be heard twenty feet away, and by the time Jongdae reaches Jongin, the latter’s slumped as far into his chair as he can go, hoodie zipped up right to his chin, embarrassment barely hidden even when the drawstrings pull his hood right up around his head.

Jongdae sits down - noisily, which Jongin never thought possible prior to this, how does one sit down noisily, in all honesty - and immediately fixes the latter with a steely gaze, eyes narrowing into slits.

Jongin clears his throat.

‘Um - how can I help you?’ he whispers, trying his best not to draw even more attention his way. He can already feel about a dozen pairs of eyes on him, he doesn’t really like the idea of having any more.

‘Trying to figure something out,’ mumbles Jongdae, eyes still fixated on Jongin. Jongdae’s smaller than Jongin is, shorter by a rather considerable bit, but the younger still feels himself squirm under Jongdae’s gaze. He briefly wonders if the answers to Jongdae’s calculus homework are hidden in the lines of his face.

‘Um - trying to figure what out, exactly?’ asks Jongin, three minutes into Jongdae’s rather intense stare down. He’s growing gradually less scared and gradually more annoyed, and the fact that he’s got an assignment to finish and hand in tomorrow knots his brows together.

‘Why my friend has a crush on you.’

Whatever reason it was that Jongin was expecting, it wasn’t that one. His jaw comes unhinged. ‘What?’ he blurts.

Jongdae smiles at him, and it’s as if all the innocence in the world had just converged into that one expression. ‘I’m in just as much shock as you are, if I’m honest.’ He snatches Jongin’s phone off him, unlocks it - Jongin isn’t even surprised that Jongdae knows his passcode anymore - and types something in before returning the device.

‘His name is Do Kyungsoo, and you have a date with him tonight at The Elm.’
‘I have an assignment due tomorrow.’
‘Due tomorrow, do tomorrow, my young friend.’
‘You’re going to make me fail this class.’
‘If it’s a class in exaggeration, I’m going to tell you now that it’s impossible.’

Jongin groans. ‘I hate you,’ he mutters, and Jongdae just gets up and pulls the younger’s hood down, ruffles his strategically messed up hair with a laugh.

‘That’s no way to speak to the person who’s just brought you the love of your life,’ says Jongdae.

Jongin rolls his eyes. ‘What makes you so sure? I haven’t even seen the guy yet.’

Jongdae winks at his friend, grin still in place.

‘Trust me, Jongin. I know.’

+

Jongin feels his arm start to grow numb, pins and needles sinking into the flesh. Kyungsoo’s still sound asleep, though, head resting comfortably on his upper arm, and the rest of Jongin’s body is still basking in the post-coital glow of his first night with Kyungsoo. He likes the feeling too much to move, doesn’t want to jostle his sleeping boyfriend awake.

So he grabs a pillow, lifts his arm just enough to slip it underneath, and gently slides his arm out from under Kyungsoo’s head. As it turns out, Kyungsoo’s a heavy sleeper, and Jongin breathes a sigh of relief when the elder doesn’t so much as stir in his sleep.

Jongin burrows downward, pushes his face in Kyungsoo’s bare chest, bare legs tangling together and takes a deep breath.

He smells like home.

+

The Elm, when Jongin gets there, is hopelessly crowded. There are people lining up to get in, groups with too many chairs for the tables they’re occupying, and, in general, just too many human beings than should be allowed in a place of this size, Jongin thinks.

He’s grateful when the waiter in charge - Chanyeol, he thinks his name is, he’s not completely sure but he does know that he had a class last semester with someone that had a rather scary grin akin to this man’s - manages to get him to a table tucked in a corner of the main dining area, away from most of the chatter and the noise.

He sits awkwardly by himself, fingers tapping against the menu when a boy with large eyes and a face that automatically triggers the need to squish walks in, and Chanyeol shows him right to Jongin’s table.

Jongin’s eyes go wide. This guy was beyond cute.

‘Um… Hi. I’m Kyungsoo. Jongdae’s friend,’ he says, and Jongin feels himself die a thousand metaphorical deaths. He has a voice like chocolate and caramel and all the smooth silky things Jongin can bring to mind, and he already feels himself falling a little bit in love.

‘I, um - h - hi. I’m Jongin. Jong - Jongdae’s friend.’ Smooth, Jongin. Real smooth.

His embarrassment is worth it, though - Kyungsoo bursts out into laughter, eyes crinkling, mouth curving into some semblance of a heart, and Jongin thinks he wouldn’t really mind making a fool of himself if it means getting this kind of reaction from Kyungsoo. It’s beyond endearing, and he feels himself being lulled into a state of comfort, as if Kyungsoo’s laugh has blanketed him in something warm and intangible and altogether different.

Jongin’s never felt like this before.

They talk. They fill the space between them with words, and Jongin learns that Kyungsoo actually really likes the food here, that Kyungsoo is a year older than him, that Kyungsoo’s favourite cereal is one that Jongin absolutely detests. Silence rises only when it’s time for them to eat, and even then, Jongin can’t help but keep his eyes on Kyungsoo. It should be creepy, and he really should try to retain some sense of normalcy on this date if he wants to ever see Kyungsoo again - but.

But Kyungsoo can’t take his eyes off Jongin either, and Kyungsoo can’t stop smiling with his mouth full any more than Jongin can.

I really like you, Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo lets Jongin kiss him on the cheek when the food is done and the bill’s been split and they’re standing outside the restaurant, the glow of the streetlights painting their skin yellow. He even tiptoes just to press a kiss of his own to Jongin’s cheek not five seconds later, and they’re both turning red, and they’ve both got matching dopey smiles on their faces, and they both feel like they’re floating on air.

Jongin watches as Kyungsoo’s silhouette grows smaller and smaller as he walks away, after they finally say their goodbyes. Jongin wastes no time in grabbing his phone to make a call, fingers shaking when he types in Jongdae’s name.

‘Hello?’ comes Jongdae’s voice, loud and smug and Jongin can’t even find it in himself to give him a biting remark. He’s still, kind of, high on fairy dust, he thinks. ‘Enjoy your little date with Kyungsoo?’

‘Hyung,’ Jongin says, voice coming out a little breathless, smile slowly growing into a grin.

‘What is it, Jonginnie?’ asks Jongdae, the amusement clear in his voice. Jongin bites down on his bottom lip, tries to think up a response good enough to describe the date he’d just been on. The word comes surprisingly easily to him.

‘He’s perfect.’

+

Jongin lets his eyes flutter closed, tries to lull himself back to sleep. His brain keeps reminding him that it’s Saturday tomorrow, he doesn’t have to be up early, but for some reason - he can’t get back to sleep.

Instead the events of the past few hours are replaying in his mind, like footage looping on repeat behind his eyelids.

He recalls his boyfriend’s eyes glazing over with a different kind of light when they’d made it to his bedroom, door slamming shut behind them. He remembers how right it felt to have his back pressed against his door, Kyungsoo pressing against his front, kissing him with a different kind of fervour, with a different kind of warmth.

He can’t stop himself from thinking about them both falling on his bed, clothes discarded, that very first press of skin against skin and the feeling it gave him, down to his very bones. He’d known Kyungsoo was beautiful before, but just then - then, with his body bare and his eyes hooded and the sounds he was making - only then did he understand how beautiful the man he loved was.

Kyungsoo was nothing short of breathtaking, magnificent - intoxicating.

Jongin smiles against Kyungsoo’s chest, snuggles into his boyfriend’s warmth a little more, completely unaware that his hair is tickling the skin under the latter’s chin. A few seconds later, Kyungsoo’s eyes flutter open, and Jongin feels him shift.

‘Jongin? Are you awake?’

+

Jongin’s phone buzzes one night, almost two months after his first date with Kyungsoo. Everything was going well between them - they’d been on a few more dates, held hands, cuddled in couple seats at the cinema, shared more kisses than Jongin could count. Their relationship was going so right, and although he was ecstatic - he couldn’t help but think about the next step.

‘I don’t see what the big deal is,’ Jongdae had said one day, when Jongin told him they hadn’t yet slept together. ‘You like him, he likes you, you’re both adults with needs - just do it.’

‘It’s not that easy,’ Jongin had groaned, flopping onto Jongdae’s bed, completely disregarding the fact that it was made for once. ‘I don’t want him to think I just want to get him in bed or anything, he’s different. He’s special, and - ’

‘And you’re in love with him,’ Jongdae deadpanned, looking Jongin straight in the eye. ‘Again, don’t see what the big deal is. Just go up to him and yell it at him or something, if he likes you he won’t think anything is weird anymore.’

Jongin had rolled his eyes. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell Kyungsoo that he loved him, of course he did, but… But. He was nervous. He’d never been in love before, not really, and telling someone you love them for the first time when you mean it - it’s difficult.

His mind refocuses on the present, eyes fixed on the blank message field on his phone. This probably wasn’t the best way to do it, but - it was the easiest.

He takes a deep breath.

I love you dances on his fingertips.

He lets it out.

The words don’t make it to Kyungsoo’s phone.

+

‘Jongin? Are you awake?’

Kyungsoo’s voice, though rough and quiet, manages to break through Jongin’s haze of thoughts. He pulls away slightly, head tilting up to look at Kyungsoo, and he feels his heart beat pick up, blood rushing through his veins and he’s truly awake now.

Now’s the perfect time, Jongin thinks, licking his lips. You can do it. Just three words, come on. You got this.

He looks Kyungsoo in the eye, his heart beat pounding in his ears. ‘I - ’ he begins to say, but his throat runs dry and his brain freezes up and a whole different sentence tumbles from his lips instead.

‘You - you’re my best friend,’ he says, and as soon as the words leave his mouth, he wants to punch himself in the face. You’re my best friend? he thinks, already mentally preparing himself for Kyungsoo to take offence, shove him away, and leave. That’s it, it’s over. He’d screwed up.

Seconds pass, though, and none of the things he’s imagining happens.

Instead, Kyungsoo just stares at him, an unreadable expression in his eyes. Jongin takes the fact that his boyfriend is still in bed with him - and, as a matter of fact, was still his boyfriend - as a good sign, and tries to hide his face in Kyungsoo’s chest, but he doesn’t get that far that quickly.

Kyungsoo pulls Jongin up so they’re face to face, and the latter’s vision is filled with just Kyungsoo. A gentle hand lands on Jongin’s cheek, and he thinks his heart is about to stop, it’s hammering so fast.

He feels, rather than sees the kiss coming. It’s tender, the way Kyungsoo slants their lips together, and it makes him draw instinctively closer, Jongin’s hand coming up to curl behind Kyungsoo’s neck. The kiss lasts for what feels like their own little forever, and Jongin almost misses it when they finally pull away.

There’s a smile on Kyungsoo’s lips that he can’t help but mirror, and before he knows it, they’re grinning at each other, for no apparent reason other than the fact that - well, they were there. They were there, with each other, curled up in bed together.

Kyungsoo licks his lips, laces their fingers together and looks Jongin right in the eye.

He opens his mouth to speak.

‘I love you, too.’

Author’s Note: Based on Taylor Swift’s You Are In Love!!!!

Ok I meant for this to be a short drabble and as such wrote this with drabble-worthy concentration (i.e. I got distracted trying to find Immortals by Fall Out Boy chords and playing TWO DOTS!!! That game is evil don’t download it I will not be held accountable for loss of soul) so T_T I’m sorry hiuhiu

thank you for reading! :)

ask.fm

g: fluff, p: kai/kyungsoo, r: pg-13, l: drabble, f: exo

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