in the beginning

[upsetmyheart]

Again, I follow another prompt from all_unwritten; "In the Beginning," for me, rings the sound of scripture.  Yet, I decide, to make it my own: my beginning.  I have had many.  Falls, restarts; crash and burn sequences followed, inevitably, by a recreation of sorts.

in the Beginning
there was you...
you tore your Rib for me to breathe,
and i gnawed it

Comments

[stupastu]

Gradually quite a bulldozing piece, especially this part:

"He will come for you--"
i speak as lightly
as the dawn approaching.
hesitation digresses
and you offend my face.
in the beginning
there was Joy…
immeasurable Joy.
do you remember?

Hits ya like a stampede :)

[upsetmyheart]

why thank you so much!

[autumnsea]

There is a strong voice to this piece. A directed voice that comes through with your wording.

This is a great line and my favourite:

you tore your Rib for me to breathe,
and i gnawed it before relenting;
accepting.

[upsetmyheart]

well, thank you. i wanted this piece to embody conflicting feelings. while emitting resentment, i wanted to convey obedience. i hope that came through... thank you for the great compliment.

[blackblackberry]

That's just beautiful!! ^___^

[upsetmyheart]

well, i thank you for that!