[ And Kakashi's eyes are wild and frantic when they settle on Iruka and stare, like he's not sure if Iruka's actually there, or if he's still bleeding all over him (oh god, there was so much blood) and dying, and Kakashi's not sure what he's doing, but the sound he makes is all choked as his fingers reach out, grapple, and yank Iruka right into his arms.
[He chokes in surprise but does not pull away from the tight hold, arms against his sides while Kakashi held him. He can feel the desperation in the hold. He can feel the fear. That wild look in Kakashi's eyes sears itself permanently in his memory.
He wiggles a bit at the hold, freeing his arms to wrap around the man's shoulders, fingers in his hair, trying to soothe him.]
It's okay. I'm right here ...
[He hasn't seen the dream but Kakashi's reaction makes him wonder. Makes him worry even more.]
[ And Kakashi's shaking all over, trembling violently, as he holds onto Iruka, buries his face in the curve of his neck. Presses his face against the hot pulse of his neck and feels the life there, the way it thrums under his skin, the way Iruka's chest rises and falls against his with each breath that he takes.
And he thinks to himself I'm never going to let go. ]
[Gai worries--he's always worried. He had known Kakashi when his father had torn his stomach open for love and honor, and he had known Kakashi when Obito had been crushed. He had known him when Rin had fallen, when Minato had sacrificed himself for his village, when Kakashi had gotten his own team of genins.... It seems like he's always known Kakashi.]
[He has stood beside him always, and though he hasn't always been able to help with the tragedies that seem to plague the man, at least he's tried. That's why Gai was relieved beyond measure when he and Iruka found each other--they just fit together. Iruka was good for him, incredibly so. He healed the scars that Gai knew he could not, opened Kakashi up the way Gai never could. Their hearts entwined shone magnificently together--their love couldn't have been more beautiful.]
[And that is why Gai refrains from pushing the reply button at all. He worries, and he wants to know that Kakashi is alright.... But he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that Iruka is right next to him, and that
( ... )
[An awkward, stilted question. Because obviously, he isn't. But she still feels the need to ask. And... well, she loves him too, she loves all of her teammates, but of the four of them Kakashi has always been the most remote and removed. She understands him the least. If this were Sasuke or Naruto she'd know what to say, but she doesn't really know how to comfort Kakashi. That's never been her job.
You're not going to be rid of us that easily, you know. We'll be around to annoy you.
[Her humor is a little hollow, but she tried.
And maybe it's an empty promise, because of course she can't predict what's going to come, but that is her intent, at least. She's not to let herself or anyone she cares about die; not if she can help it.]
[ Kakashi's expression, when he flickers on screen hours later, is rather typical: impassive and bored with the same look in his eye that he would've given had Sakura said to him, "Kakashi-sensei, did you know that the sky is blue?"
(You're telling me what I already know, that look says.)
He's unaffected. He might as well have not even dreamed and showed the world how even he could (need, he needed Iruka then, wrapped himself up in him) be shaken up. ]
[His impassiveness is too normal for her to be put off by it. In a way, there is reassurance in the fact that he'd even replied--if he was not okay, he wouldn't have replied at all.
Of course you knew that. But I was going to say it anyway.
Because that is what Sakura does: remind her loved ones every once in a while that she will be there to help them, even when they are too stupid and stubborn to ask for it.
She knows him too well to push the current topic of conversation, so she changes tracks.]
Speaking of annoying you, you're going to be at the Obon Festival, right?
[Itachi won't reply. It's not his place. Seeing this, feeling that fear--the need to run and yet knowing you never can, because love is something that is always there, even when you think it couldn't possibly be anywhere near you--is something he knows very well.
There was a time when Itachi had thought Kakashi would be able to show him exactly what it meant to love. But that was because he was too blind to realize Kakashi had already suppressed his need for it so deep he had not even known it still lived. Maybe at the time it hadn't.
But Iruka had done what Itachi could not.
And Itachi knows that Iruka is capable of what Itachi is not. Iruka is to Kakashi was Itachi could never be. So Itachi does nothing.
[Sasuke recalls this feeling. No - he still knows it.
It isn't as terrible as it once was. There was a time when he had no one but Itachi, wouldn't let himself have anyone else because no one else was invincible the way he was. And even then there was fear, that someone might split them apart. Take him away. And then he would be alone with people who might (would) break and then he would have nothing.
And like Kakashi, he was made to open up. There were people in the world who just wouldn't let him close himself off. Wouldn't leave him the hell alone, no matter how cold he acted, no matter how standoffish he was. People who didn't get the picture that he wasn't interested and then one day he was interested.
And he fought it. He still fights it sometimes. He wishes he could fight it more. It's strange to think that Kakashi fought it the same way. And that Sasuke, of all people, wormed his way into his life
( ... )
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And it's not right ...
A bad dream ...
He reaches out, hand pressing against a forearm. He speaks quietly, worrying.]
... Kakashi?
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He's holding on too tightly. ]
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He wiggles a bit at the hold, freeing his arms to wrap around the man's shoulders, fingers in his hair, trying to soothe him.]
It's okay. I'm right here ...
[He hasn't seen the dream but Kakashi's reaction makes him wonder. Makes him worry even more.]
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And he thinks to himself I'm never going to let go. ]
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[He has stood beside him always, and though he hasn't always been able to help with the tragedies that seem to plague the man, at least he's tried. That's why Gai was relieved beyond measure when he and Iruka found each other--they just fit together. Iruka was good for him, incredibly so. He healed the scars that Gai knew he could not, opened Kakashi up the way Gai never could. Their hearts entwined shone magnificently together--their love couldn't have been more beautiful.]
[And that is why Gai refrains from pushing the reply button at all. He worries, and he wants to know that Kakashi is alright.... But he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that Iruka is right next to him, and that ( ... )
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Are you all right, Kakashi-sensei?
[An awkward, stilted question. Because obviously, he isn't. But she still feels the need to ask. And... well, she loves him too, she loves all of her teammates, but of the four of them Kakashi has always been the most remote and removed. She understands him the least. If this were Sasuke or Naruto she'd know what to say, but she doesn't really know how to comfort Kakashi. That's never been her job.
But she's glad to try, anyway.]
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[Her humor is a little hollow, but she tried.
And maybe it's an empty promise, because of course she can't predict what's going to come, but that is her intent, at least. She's not to let herself or anyone she cares about die; not if she can help it.]
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(You're telling me what I already know, that look says.)
He's unaffected. He might as well have not even dreamed and showed the world how even he could (need, he needed Iruka then, wrapped himself up in him) be shaken up. ]
Wonderful.
[ His response could be to either statement. ]
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Of course you knew that. But I was going to say it anyway.
Because that is what Sakura does: remind her loved ones every once in a while that she will be there to help them, even when they are too stupid and stubborn to ask for it.
She knows him too well to push the current topic of conversation, so she changes tracks.]
Speaking of annoying you, you're going to be at the Obon Festival, right?
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There was a time when Itachi had thought Kakashi would be able to show him exactly what it meant to love. But that was because he was too blind to realize Kakashi had already suppressed his need for it so deep he had not even known it still lived. Maybe at the time it hadn't.
But Iruka had done what Itachi could not.
And Itachi knows that Iruka is capable of what Itachi is not. Iruka is to Kakashi was Itachi could never be. So Itachi does nothing.
He does not want to regret that choice.]
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It isn't as terrible as it once was. There was a time when he had no one but Itachi, wouldn't let himself have anyone else because no one else was invincible the way he was. And even then there was fear, that someone might split them apart. Take him away. And then he would be alone with people who might (would) break and then he would have nothing.
And like Kakashi, he was made to open up. There were people in the world who just wouldn't let him close himself off. Wouldn't leave him the hell alone, no matter how cold he acted, no matter how standoffish he was. People who didn't get the picture that he wasn't interested and then one day he was interested.
And he fought it. He still fights it sometimes. He wishes he could fight it more. It's strange to think that Kakashi fought it the same way. And that Sasuke, of all people, wormed his way into his life ( ... )
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