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[ura_no_ura]

WARNING: R for some sexual content

One breath.

Two.

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[eternalscorpion]

[Sasori hasn't forgotten Kakashi's dream, when what he'd seen and felt had been far too familiar for comfort.]

You're a coward.

[He'd ran himself, for two years. Not anymore.]

[ Reaction ]

[ura_no_ura]

[ The voice jolts him awake, and he shoots up, hand scrambling for the Hitomi when he realizes that's where it came from --

Which can only mean one thing.

He flips through the menus.

Rewatches the dream.

And his heart.

Sinks. ]

[savour_the_pain]

[Seriously, what is with all that sappy shit? It's gag-worthy material.]

Oh man, another homo chicken shit. Does everyone fucking dream about sex? Heathen filth.

[ Reaction ]

[ura_no_ura]

[ Well, this is interesting. Isn't he supposed to be decapitated and at the bottom of a pit? Ah, this is going to be a pain in the ass to take care of without Shikamaru. ]

[ninjasecrets]

[And now this.

Now this.

Damn it, sometimes Akira's convinced the Hitomi exists just to give him nosebleeds. Damn.

But the words in this dream are what's even more important. Akira can understand at least that much - that at least dreaming of sex isn't the same as having it, doesn't mean the same things.]

He's right!

No one here cares about what you did. We just want you back.

You and Iruka-sensei can work it out. Whatever went on.

We just want you back...

[No, no, he's obviously not just talking about himself. Really.]

[ Reaction ]

[ura_no_ura]

[ Akira can say this easily because he doesn't understand the gravity of what Kakashi had done. The role he played when the barriers fell. And Kakashi is working on exactly what Iruka told him to do: grow stronger, so it'll never happen again.

He replays Akira's message again.

And doesn't respond. ]

[smiling_umino]

[It takes a long while before Iruka can even bring himself to think straight. Before, it had been only him dreaming of Kakashi and he always did dismiss it with the notion that it means nothing, that the familiarity he felt when slender and hot hands caressed his body like they've been doing so for a lifetime is nothing more but a result of everyone around him telling him that he and Kakashi were together. That they were in love. That they were happy.

That they had shared something between them that is the very thing Iruka looks for to have in his life. One day.

There are a lot of things in this dream that renders him silent. He can see the trust, he can see the devotion and more importantly, he can see the love Kakashi directs towards him. The him that cards fingers through silver hair like he's been doing that for a lifetime.

He feels Kakashi's comfort with the him in that picture.

He feels Kakashi's love for the him in that picture

1/2

[ura_no_ura]

[ It's a dangerous thing, sleep

2/2 [ Private to Iruka ]

[ura_no_ura]

[ So Kakashi gathers himself up and stitches himself in, falling back beyond the layers of mask and a deflecting personality that is never affected by anything at all. Easier to cover himself up behind a smile or a bored look than it is to be honest, when the truth doesn't just hurt -- it destroys. Can kill. Can take away everything a man once thought he knew about himself, ripping it right under his feet and not softening the fall.

You can break your spine like that. ]

It's just a dream, Iruka-sensei~

[ Kakashi says this like it's the most obvious thing in the world, an eyebrow raised and his expression seeming to say you're not serious, right. ]

Dreams don't mean anything, remember? If they did, I should probably be concerned about how often I star in yours.

[ Private to Kakashi ]

[smiling_umino]

[He is not sure why he feels some sort of deep impact in his chest at those words, the feeling foreign but at the same time, not. It is strange and it shows in his face, how he frowns and an eyebrow raise, like he's wondering where the hell did that come from? and why it is still so familiar.

At the same time, he feels sorry for Kakashi. Even someone like him craves for something like that. Then again, who doesn't? Humans aren't stone after all.

But the feeling is gone when he bristles and he scowls at Kakashi's words.]

Don't flatter yourself. Just because you star often in mine that does not make you special. There's a difference between fucking and actual love and affection, Kakashi-sensei~

[He smiles now though, easy and bright. Everything else is going to be ignored for the most part.]

But you're right. They don't mean anything.

[private]

[youthfulpassion]

[Gai knows that feeling of warmth and safety, of security and peace and joy. He remembers Gojyo's head in his lap, and his fingers combing through such long, gorgeous fiery red locks.... He remembers holding Gojyo and being held, basking in each other's warmth and strength, living for and loving each other as only soulmates could. His heart aches--dull and tired, a wound that has long since healed and scarred over, a warm and steady throb that somehow feels almost soothing, reassuring. It's almost good to feel--to know that Gojyo is still in his heart, that he loves him still now, just as he always did then.]

[He can see that Kakashi wants that. He can see that Konoha would give that to him. He can see that Kakashi deserves it. What he can't see is why in the gods' names would a smart, sane, sensible man deprive himself of such happiness unecessarily.]

[....Then again, Kakashi has always been smart, but seldom entirely sane or purely sensible. Maybe he can understand a little why he wouldn't do this, after all. But that doesn't make

[ Private to Gai ]

[ura_no_ura]

[ But he isn't right, and Kakashi's not ready to come home. He doesn't deserve to be there yet, doesn't deserve that warmth. Not with all he had done, all that had passed, and he thinks he might be broken because something happened after he stopped talking to Iruka. And Kakashi's not sure what it was, but that feeling inside of him grew so large that it finally broke out of its cage. Snapped right out, or maybe in half, and between one blink and the next, he found himself standing in a mess of scales and blood and guts.

He's not sure if he found the snake, or if it found him.

His hair is matted with blood.

He doesn't think any of it is his own.

It smears across the screen when he hits reply. ]

I thought you were going to give me time.

[ Video Call ]

[youthfulpassion]

[Gai frowns at the blood-smeared screen, resisting the urge to try and wipe it off--he knows that's not on his end, after all. He looks more concerned than ever.]

I did give you some time. Kakashi, what happened? You're covered with blood....

[ Video Call ]

[ura_no_ura]

[ It's a blank look that Gai gets for a moment, before Kakashi looks up from the screen, down past himself at the mess at his feet. ]

It appears I had a run-in with a snake.

[ A beat. ]

A very big one.