Theater #4 - Drabble
the first part of my song drabble
Kaleidoscope
"….Shine, bright morning light
Now in the air the spring is coming
Sweet blowing wind
Singing down the hills and valleys…."
Again, when I woke up this morning I felt extremely dizzy.
Without noticing the pain, I tried to get up and opened the window. The reason is I’m wishing for the warmth to come.
The pure white snow started to melt and turn into sparkling water drop.
Soon as the time passed by, another year come, and the seasons change, the white veiled world will turn into the green green grass.
And as the rays of sunlight shine on me, I could feel the sense of spring.
“cough…..”
But then my headache started to disturb me.
I believe that there’s something wrong with my body, I felt unwell these past weeks and there’s a time when I really wanted to vomit.
“maybe I should go to the hospital…”
--------------------------------------
“Hey, sorry I can’t go to your apartment today, I gotta go to the hospital.”
“Hospital? Are you ok?”
“Umm…not really, I just wanna have general check up cz I feel unwell recently.”
“Hmm…ok, take care.”
“Don’t worry…”
“…I strayed lost, and was seeing birds full of wounds
I suppose it might've been you, what would you think?
hollow inside, your eyes are so lonely
the colors were fading... it's as if I'm looking at the end…”
I never like the hospital.
I hate those cold white corridors, and any doctor related things.
But I can’t help it when the doctor started to examine my whole body with his CT scan.
And I never expected that I will get into the CT scan just for having headache.
****
“What’s wrong with me, sensei? Is it that serious? I mean I just had headache….”
“I’m afraid it is not just headache…”
“eh?”
“Did you ever have your nose bleed this past few months? Constantly?”
“Yes.”
“And how many times did you feel unwell and want to vomit?”
“Often.”
”I’m afraid you got brain cancer…”
“….I was dreaming of the end of a bird's journey…
how long were your eyes staring at that scene?.... ”
----------------------------------
“…I embrace my ambitious dream the whole time while sleeping cautiously...
awaken to somebody's words, in fate's mischief…”
In this cold room, as I lay on my bed I kept thinking about everything.
When I closed my eyes, my thoughts that will never die are floating and those memories played in my head.
The memories of the past, through the seasons changed and the years passed by.
And the memories of you whom I met in the pure white winter.
What a beautiful world I live in…
I took the phone beside me, and called sensei.
“…Don't stop me, because it goes to be drowned...
Jesus, please forgive me for the sins...that I commit…”
“Hello, good evening, sensei. It’s me. I’ve come to my final decision that, I won’t take chemotherapy….”
“Are you sure?”
“Anoo.., yea, cz you already said that there’s only a small chance for me to survive, right? And I think that, no matter what decision I took, I will certainly die in the end. So, I will keep this disease as my little secret, I don’t want to make anyone worry about me. and I will live my normal life until this disease kill me. Sorry for bothering you.”
“Well then, you already decided..”
“Thank you, sensei….”
Silent…
It was only me, in this dark room.
The only dim is the moonlight that shines gracefully on my silhouette.
I sighed gloomy, “Everything will be okay…”
"tell me words of depravity, deep into my body…"
---------------------------------------
“What did the doctor say?”, you asked me with your beautiful eyes staring.
“It’s just a small headache, nothing’s serious…”, I tried not to make you worry.
“neee~~~ tell me where we’re gonna go?”
“I’ll show you the beautiful horizon when we arrive….”, then I gassed my car.
“…We should expect this frozen like a dream world to become beautiful...
And from that day on I want to tell you all my unsaid thoughts…”
This sea will always be beautiful, and so will you….
“woaaaaaaaaaahhh…..look! can you see that? A horizon. Seems like we’re heading toward the world’s end…. I love this scene….thank you for bringing me to this place.”
Then you smiled….
Yes, this sea is beautiful, but you are more beautiful.
As I embraced you from behind, I could smell your sweet scent. No matter how many times you wither, I will keep embracing you.
If only I could…..
“Why?”, you turned your back and stared at me, “you are really ok, right? You seem to be different now…did-“
“I am ok,” I smiled, and hold your hand, ”really I am”
You stared at me like I would disappear in this color, show the weakness you carry with you.
“Don’t afraid…you are no longer alone….”, I said, thou it hurts when I know the fact that I could not be here any longer with you to see another horizon.
“Don’t go…please, don’t..”
I will always love your deep black eyes. It’s beautiful and deep, as deep as the place inside your heart where you hide those silent pains you carry with you.
“I won’t…”, then I embrace you.
Silent.
We didn’t say any words but staring at the fading color of the horizon.
“I love you…..”,
and I tell you my unsaid thought….
“…in the broken sky, I'm still wanting to talk to the warmth of your hands
reflected in you, your eyes; so many hundred thousands of colors melt into this scene
this song is like a favorite phrase: words overflowing to only you, tied to thoughts delivered to you…”
---------------------------------------
“….ah, the moonlight cures my cold naked flesh
the darkness blooms profusely, the wind dies off…”
“cough…”
This illness started to eat me.
Helplessly…
I could only lay on the bed, and staring at the moon.
And in this black frightening secluded chamber, the pale wavering moonlight only shines on the darkness.
if I gaze at the moon that floats on the darkness, it is splattered only with deep crimson.
Pain…
Pain…
Pain….
I could only tremble in this frozen-over dark night.
“…shallow sleep still and the rest of the dream, that I dreamt at the very end, is...
hesitating, unable to escape the trembling lamenting night; it's swallowing me up
oblivion? a "fire of hope"? my wishes are afloat, wandering at the limits of these rusted dreams…”
I closed my eyes, tried to escape from the pain.
My vision started becoming blur.
And when I looked aside, all I could see is just red stain covering my bed.
Trembling…
Wanting the warmth to come…
The past repeated…
If I closed my eyes, I’m afraid that it’s gonna be my last dream…
“…the countless fires that dance in the sky only sadly show me my fate, from which I cannot be rescued
I desire intensely to live... I entrust my feelings to this song…”
“God, please forgive me for the sins….that I commit…”
“…The voice that has no voice echoes along with the winds of this gloomy cage...
ah, deep sleep, my dream is on the way...”
and then everything became dark…..
--------------------------------------------------
As I saw you crying over my dead body, I want to scream... I loved you
I'll be always flapping my wings, even if the sky will become covered in wounds and I'll sink in it
So the love you gave me won't disappear…
But then everything went black…
I had a dream... I saw the profile of your face
Alone I'm thinking...
About this place to where I can't return anymore…
----------------------------------------------------
song list :
1. Fake Wings - Kajiura Yuki
2. Kaleidoscope - D’espairsRay
3. tsuki no kioku -fallen- - D’espairsRay [althou I’m muslim, I jz put the “Jesus” word there. There’s no particular reason thou, since it is the original lyric written in English]
4. Ark in the Storm - D’espairsRay || Kaleidoscope - D’espairsRay
5. Ori no naka de miru yume - D’espairsRay
6. R.E.M -Fuyu no genchou- - D’espairsRay
D'espairsRay song translation’s credit goes to atomicduck and despa_lyrics
Kaleidoscope
"….Shine, bright morning light
Now in the air the spring is coming
Sweet blowing wind
Singing down the hills and valleys…."
Again, when I woke up this morning I felt extremely dizzy.
Without noticing the pain, I tried to get up and opened the window. The reason is I’m wishing for the warmth to come.
The pure white snow started to melt and turn into sparkling water drop.
Soon as the time passed by, another year come, and the seasons change, the white veiled world will turn into the green green grass.
And as the rays of sunlight shine on me, I could feel the sense of spring.
“cough…..”
But then my headache started to disturb me.
I believe that there’s something wrong with my body, I felt unwell these past weeks and there’s a time when I really wanted to vomit.
“maybe I should go to the hospital…”
--------------------------------------
“Hey, sorry I can’t go to your apartment today, I gotta go to the hospital.”
“Hospital? Are you ok?”
“Umm…not really, I just wanna have general check up cz I feel unwell recently.”
“Hmm…ok, take care.”
“Don’t worry…”
“…I strayed lost, and was seeing birds full of wounds
I suppose it might've been you, what would you think?
hollow inside, your eyes are so lonely
the colors were fading... it's as if I'm looking at the end…”
I never like the hospital.
I hate those cold white corridors, and any doctor related things.
But I can’t help it when the doctor started to examine my whole body with his CT scan.
And I never expected that I will get into the CT scan just for having headache.
****
“What’s wrong with me, sensei? Is it that serious? I mean I just had headache….”
“I’m afraid it is not just headache…”
“eh?”
“Did you ever have your nose bleed this past few months? Constantly?”
“Yes.”
“And how many times did you feel unwell and want to vomit?”
“Often.”
”I’m afraid you got brain cancer…”
“….I was dreaming of the end of a bird's journey…
how long were your eyes staring at that scene?.... ”
----------------------------------
“…I embrace my ambitious dream the whole time while sleeping cautiously...
awaken to somebody's words, in fate's mischief…”
In this cold room, as I lay on my bed I kept thinking about everything.
When I closed my eyes, my thoughts that will never die are floating and those memories played in my head.
The memories of the past, through the seasons changed and the years passed by.
And the memories of you whom I met in the pure white winter.
What a beautiful world I live in…
I took the phone beside me, and called sensei.
“…Don't stop me, because it goes to be drowned...
Jesus, please forgive me for the sins...that I commit…”
“Hello, good evening, sensei. It’s me. I’ve come to my final decision that, I won’t take chemotherapy….”
“Are you sure?”
“Anoo.., yea, cz you already said that there’s only a small chance for me to survive, right? And I think that, no matter what decision I took, I will certainly die in the end. So, I will keep this disease as my little secret, I don’t want to make anyone worry about me. and I will live my normal life until this disease kill me. Sorry for bothering you.”
“Well then, you already decided..”
“Thank you, sensei….”
Silent…
It was only me, in this dark room.
The only dim is the moonlight that shines gracefully on my silhouette.
I sighed gloomy, “Everything will be okay…”
"tell me words of depravity, deep into my body…"
---------------------------------------
“What did the doctor say?”, you asked me with your beautiful eyes staring.
“It’s just a small headache, nothing’s serious…”, I tried not to make you worry.
“neee~~~ tell me where we’re gonna go?”
“I’ll show you the beautiful horizon when we arrive….”, then I gassed my car.
“…We should expect this frozen like a dream world to become beautiful...
And from that day on I want to tell you all my unsaid thoughts…”
This sea will always be beautiful, and so will you….
“woaaaaaaaaaahhh…..look! can you see that? A horizon. Seems like we’re heading toward the world’s end…. I love this scene….thank you for bringing me to this place.”
Then you smiled….
Yes, this sea is beautiful, but you are more beautiful.
As I embraced you from behind, I could smell your sweet scent. No matter how many times you wither, I will keep embracing you.
If only I could…..
“Why?”, you turned your back and stared at me, “you are really ok, right? You seem to be different now…did-“
“I am ok,” I smiled, and hold your hand, ”really I am”
You stared at me like I would disappear in this color, show the weakness you carry with you.
“Don’t afraid…you are no longer alone….”, I said, thou it hurts when I know the fact that I could not be here any longer with you to see another horizon.
“Don’t go…please, don’t..”
I will always love your deep black eyes. It’s beautiful and deep, as deep as the place inside your heart where you hide those silent pains you carry with you.
“I won’t…”, then I embrace you.
Silent.
We didn’t say any words but staring at the fading color of the horizon.
“I love you…..”,
and I tell you my unsaid thought….
“…in the broken sky, I'm still wanting to talk to the warmth of your hands
reflected in you, your eyes; so many hundred thousands of colors melt into this scene
this song is like a favorite phrase: words overflowing to only you, tied to thoughts delivered to you…”
---------------------------------------
“….ah, the moonlight cures my cold naked flesh
the darkness blooms profusely, the wind dies off…”
“cough…”
This illness started to eat me.
Helplessly…
I could only lay on the bed, and staring at the moon.
And in this black frightening secluded chamber, the pale wavering moonlight only shines on the darkness.
if I gaze at the moon that floats on the darkness, it is splattered only with deep crimson.
Pain…
Pain…
Pain….
I could only tremble in this frozen-over dark night.
“…shallow sleep still and the rest of the dream, that I dreamt at the very end, is...
hesitating, unable to escape the trembling lamenting night; it's swallowing me up
oblivion? a "fire of hope"? my wishes are afloat, wandering at the limits of these rusted dreams…”
I closed my eyes, tried to escape from the pain.
My vision started becoming blur.
And when I looked aside, all I could see is just red stain covering my bed.
Trembling…
Wanting the warmth to come…
The past repeated…
If I closed my eyes, I’m afraid that it’s gonna be my last dream…
“…the countless fires that dance in the sky only sadly show me my fate, from which I cannot be rescued
I desire intensely to live... I entrust my feelings to this song…”
“God, please forgive me for the sins….that I commit…”
“…The voice that has no voice echoes along with the winds of this gloomy cage...
ah, deep sleep, my dream is on the way...”
and then everything became dark…..
--------------------------------------------------
As I saw you crying over my dead body, I want to scream... I loved you
I'll be always flapping my wings, even if the sky will become covered in wounds and I'll sink in it
So the love you gave me won't disappear…
But then everything went black…
I had a dream... I saw the profile of your face
Alone I'm thinking...
About this place to where I can't return anymore…
----------------------------------------------------
song list :
1. Fake Wings - Kajiura Yuki
2. Kaleidoscope - D’espairsRay
3. tsuki no kioku -fallen- - D’espairsRay [althou I’m muslim, I jz put the “Jesus” word there. There’s no particular reason thou, since it is the original lyric written in English]
4. Ark in the Storm - D’espairsRay || Kaleidoscope - D’espairsRay
5. Ori no naka de miru yume - D’espairsRay
6. R.E.M -Fuyu no genchou- - D’espairsRay
D'espairsRay song translation’s credit goes to atomicduck and despa_lyrics