Why Ben is Awesome, Part Deux
Real update coming soon guys, I just really need to squee about this.
Me: Apparently Mom has declared today Treat Ashley Like Shit Day.
Ben: Oh god what happened babe?
Me: First she came in asking if I was still alive because I was sleeping. Then she told me not to drink a THREE liter bottle of soda by myself in one night. Then she complained that my room smells of stale cigarettes so she sprayed some nasty smelling shit in here.
Ben: Jfc...and where the fuck did she even come up with three liters? And not much you can do about your room...you can light a candle to get rid of whatever the fuck she sprayed...god that woman I want to fucking punch her for you...
Me: I just want to throw myself into the Pawtuxet River. Maybe that'd make her happy.
Ben: No babe. No killing yourself. I know you want to. I know you're tired of hurting. I know you're sick of everything. But killing yourself is not the answer. It may seem like the easy way out but when you think about it its extremely hard to do. You don't need to think in absolutes like that. She's a bitch and a half and I don't know if anyone can change that. But you can make things better in a way. Keep up with classes the best you can and land that interview. I know you don't give a shit about it right now, but just think about it. Think about the bigger picture. Just think what can happen with that job making that much money...
Me: No. I'm doing it.
Ben: No you are not. Why do you want to give up on everything else that is turning your life around when one bitchy ass person interrupts things? You can make things so much better for yourself when you finish this class. You can get back into college next year if you want...there is just so much you can still do...
Ben: Just stop and think and breathe babe
Me: I'm sick of this shit.
Ben: I know you are...
Me: So why stay? So I can suffer more?
Ben: Because you keep telling me how you want to move away, start a family, have those three cats, have a fresh life with you and me. You just need to try to believe it in your heart that it can happen. There is nothing that can stop it. You told me how much you want to move to maine, how much you want to get a job, how many kids you want, what to name them (and I love your choices in names), it takes time and I hate it terribly that it does. But believe me I want you in my life, and not as a good memory. I want you to be so much more than that. It's not easy. I wish it was. But I just want to do what I can to make you comfortable if not happy. I love you with every fiber of my being. No matter what you say to me, no matter how much you hate everything else. No matter how little you care about things, no matter how angry sad or upset you get. I fell in love with you from the moment we first kissed. Maybe even before! And I will love you from then, now, and as long as I shall live...
Me: Apparently Mom has declared today Treat Ashley Like Shit Day.
Ben: Oh god what happened babe?
Me: First she came in asking if I was still alive because I was sleeping. Then she told me not to drink a THREE liter bottle of soda by myself in one night. Then she complained that my room smells of stale cigarettes so she sprayed some nasty smelling shit in here.
Ben: Jfc...and where the fuck did she even come up with three liters? And not much you can do about your room...you can light a candle to get rid of whatever the fuck she sprayed...god that woman I want to fucking punch her for you...
Me: I just want to throw myself into the Pawtuxet River. Maybe that'd make her happy.
Ben: No babe. No killing yourself. I know you want to. I know you're tired of hurting. I know you're sick of everything. But killing yourself is not the answer. It may seem like the easy way out but when you think about it its extremely hard to do. You don't need to think in absolutes like that. She's a bitch and a half and I don't know if anyone can change that. But you can make things better in a way. Keep up with classes the best you can and land that interview. I know you don't give a shit about it right now, but just think about it. Think about the bigger picture. Just think what can happen with that job making that much money...
Me: No. I'm doing it.
Ben: No you are not. Why do you want to give up on everything else that is turning your life around when one bitchy ass person interrupts things? You can make things so much better for yourself when you finish this class. You can get back into college next year if you want...there is just so much you can still do...
Ben: Just stop and think and breathe babe
Me: I'm sick of this shit.
Ben: I know you are...
Me: So why stay? So I can suffer more?
Ben: Because you keep telling me how you want to move away, start a family, have those three cats, have a fresh life with you and me. You just need to try to believe it in your heart that it can happen. There is nothing that can stop it. You told me how much you want to move to maine, how much you want to get a job, how many kids you want, what to name them (and I love your choices in names), it takes time and I hate it terribly that it does. But believe me I want you in my life, and not as a good memory. I want you to be so much more than that. It's not easy. I wish it was. But I just want to do what I can to make you comfortable if not happy. I love you with every fiber of my being. No matter what you say to me, no matter how much you hate everything else. No matter how little you care about things, no matter how angry sad or upset you get. I fell in love with you from the moment we first kissed. Maybe even before! And I will love you from then, now, and as long as I shall live...