Apuleius' Metamorphoses
The end is near.
Liber I: 17-23
[17]"AND BEHOLD, IN THAT VERY moment, the doorman breaks in, crying out with extended lungs, 'Where are you, who was rushing excessively in the deep of night and is now all wrapped up in snores?'
"At this, having been awakened, I do not know by either our fall or his harsh shout, Socrates rose first and he said, 'Not undeservedly do guests curse all these innkeepers. For now that curious fellow breaks in rudely--with eagerness, I suppose, for the purpose of stealing something--he shook me, groggy from deepest sleep, with a deep shout.'
"I arise happy and lively, filled with unexpected joy, and 'Look, most faithful doorkeeper, my companion and my father and my brother, whom, drunken, you falsely accused as killed by me.' And when this had been said, with an embrace, I showered Socrates with kisses.
"But he, struck otherwise by the stench of the most filthy fluid with which those witches had stained me, rejected me violently. 'Scram,' he says, 'you stink of the worst toilet,' and begins to inquire politely the reasons for this odor.
"But poor me, with a silly joke made up at the time, I divert his attention once more in another conversation, and with his right hand having been taken, 'Why don't we go,' I say, 'and sieze the charm of a morning journey?' I put on my little bundle and, with the price of staying having been paid to the innkeeper, we took to the road.
[18]"We had gone a little way and by then everything was lit up by the rising of sunshine. And I curiously and diligently considered the throat of my companion, at which part I had seen the sword slipped in, and I said to myself, 'You are insane, who overwhelmed with drinking cups and wine, dreamed the worst. Look, Socrates is intact, sound, alive. Where is the wound, the sponge? Where, last of all, is the scar so deep, so fresh?' And to him I say, 'Not undeservedly do trusty doctors say that people distended by food and drunkenness dream cruel and grave dreams. Of course for me, because I was less than moderate with my supper drinking glasses, a rough night brought bad omens and savage images, so that I still believe myself sprinkled and desecrated with human blood.'
"At this he was smiling, 'But you,' he says, 'are not drenched with blood but urine. Indeed, I myself too seemed to have had my throat cut through a dream. For I thought this spot on my throat to hurt and my very own heart to be pulled out; and now, even, I am run out with respect to my breath and I am quivering in my knees and I totter 1 with respect to my gait and I long to be fed something for the purpose of reviving my spirit.'
"'Come on,' I say, 'breakfast is ready for you.' And with this having been said, I stripped my knapsack from my shoulder, I stretched out cheese with bread to him quickly, and 'Let's sit near that plane tree,' I say.
[19]"With that done, I myself eat something from the same sack, and seeing accustomed to eating greedily, I watch him fading with rather more extensive leanness and boxwood pallor. Finally, his vital color wiped him out in such a way that, with my fear, also imagining those nocturnal Furies, before my little bit of bread, which I took first, no matter how very small, was sticking in the middle of my throat and it could neither descend down nor ascend upward. For the scarcity itself of travellers increased mt fear. Truly, who would believe one of two companions was killed in the night without the other? Truly he, when he had cut off2 enough food, he began to thirst intolerably. For he had devoured a good part of the best cheese, and hardly so far from the roots of the plane tree, a lazy gentle river went in the splendor of a peaceful marsh, rivalling silver or glass in color. 'Hey,' I say, 'satisfy yourself with the milky water of the river.' He rises and, having waited for a little while for a flatter bank of the river, he, bent on his knees, leans himself forward, greedily striving for a drink. He had not yet sufficiently touched the top of the spray of the water with the ridge of his lips, and his wound in his throat gapes in a pouring hollow and that sponge was suddenly rolled out of him and very little blood accompanied it. At last the lifeless body nearly falls forward into the river, except I, scarcely having held him by one of his feet and with difficulty, dragged him to the higher bank, where I buried my poor little friend, mourned for a time, with sandy earth in everlasting proximity to the river. I myself, nervous and exceptionally afraid for myself, fled through remote and deserted wastelands, and, as if I were an accomplice to the muder of a man, the country was abandoned and home and I embraced the exile beyond, now I live in Aetolia, having drawn together a new marriage."
[20]This was Aristomenes. But that companion of his, who rejected his story on the spot from the beginning with obstinate incredulity, "Nothing," he says, "is more mythical than this tale, nothing is more absurd than that lie." And he turned to me, "Now you," he says, "are a man as repected as shows in your condition and appearance, do you approve of this tale?"
"In fact I," I say, "consider nothing impossible, but whichever way the fates will fade, so all things come out for mortals. For both to me and to you and to all men come to experience many astonishing and nearly infeasible things, yet which are wasted in faith when related to an inexperienced man. But I both believe him, by Hercules, and I remember the welcome favors, because he amused us with the fun of a delightful tale, I passed through the harsh and wild way without trouble and boredom. Which I think my bearer rejoices with this favor too, with me having been brought without fatigue for him all the way to the city gate not on his back, but on my own ears."
[21]This was the end for us in both conversation and our shared journey. For my companions both departed to a small villa nearby to the left. But I approached the first inn which I saw while walking, and I immediately ask about certain things from the old innkeeper woman. "Is this," I ask, "the town of Hypata?" She nodded. "Did you know a certain Milo from the foremost men?" She smiled, and "Sure," she says, "foremost is the name of your Milo, who lives outside the city wall and the whole city." "Jokes aside," I say, "best mother, I beg that you tell both from what country3 he is and in which house he stays." "Do you see," she says, "the furthest windows, which look outside to the city, and the doors on the other side looking back on the nearby alley? There is where your Milo stays, very well-off and rich by far, but a man of extreme greed and infamous for his sordid humblest things. Of course, frequently collecting rich interest under deposit of gold and silver, he is shut into a scanty household and always stretching out his greed, he lives with his wife too, companion of his calamity, and he does not keep but a sole little slave girl, and she goes about always in a style of one begging."
I submit a smile at this. "My friend Demeas kindly and fortunately took me into consideration, who united me going to be traveling abroad to such a man, in whose hospitality I shall fear neither clouds of smoke nor the vapor of steam." [22]And with this small thing having been said I advance to the door having walked differently4 and I begin to beat vocally the door firmly bolted. Finally a certain young little girl appearing, "Hey you," she says, "who so bodly beat the door, under what pretext do you wish to borrow? Or do you alone not know that we consider no guarantee but gold and silver?" "Forebode a better thing," I say, "and answer rather whether I will have found your master within the house." "Certainly," she says, "but what is the reason for this inquiry?" "I deliver letters for him written to him by Demeas of Corinth." "Wait here in this very spot for me," she says, "while I announce you." And with that said, with the doors bolted again, she went inside. Having returned a little while later with the house having been opened, "He asks for you," she says.
I brought myself in and I find him reclining on a very scanty little cot and beginning to eat just at that moment. His wife was sitting nearby his feet and with an empty table having been set up, of which by means of pointing, he says, "Hey! Welcome." "Very well," I say, and I deliver the letters to him then and there. With which having been read very quickly, "I love," he says, "my friend Demeas, who brings such a guest to me." [23]And with this said, he orders his wife to make room, and orders that I sit nearby in her place, and now dragging me, hesitating with shyness, down by the flap of my garment having been snatched, "Sit near," he says, "there. For because of fear of robbers it is not permitted for us to procure any chairs nor sufficing furniture." I did.
And thus, "I," he says, "might conclude certainly on account of the handsome appearance of that body of yours and on account of this altogether virginial shyness that you have come from noble-minded stock and rightly, but my Demeas proclaims the same in his letter. Therefore, I ask that you not scorn the brevity of our hole in the wall. Look: that adjoining bedroom will be for you a respectable refuge. I hope you will stay as a guest willingly in our house. For both you will have made our home greater with honor, and you will have laid claim to a glorious mark for yourself, if, content with a tiny little household, you will have emulated the virtues of your father's family name of Theseus5, who did not disdain the poor hospitality of the old woman Hercale."
And having called the slave girl, "Photis," he says, "put the little bundles gathered up with a string of the guest in this bedroom, and at the same time, bring out the oil for annointing and the linens for washing and the rest from this storeroom for the man to use most quickly; and lead my guest to the nearest baths; he is tired from a difficult enough and long journey."
1 The Latin word is titubo. Very onomatopoeic.
2 The Latin literally says "beheaded" (detruncaverat). Apuleius is being clever.
3 Greek men (and to some degree, the Romans too) relied on their homeland for their identity.
4 Yeah...I don't know what that means. I probably translated it incorrectly.
5 I believe this is some reference to the hero Theseus, but I'm too lazy and tired to look.
Liber I: 17-23
[17]"AND BEHOLD, IN THAT VERY moment, the doorman breaks in, crying out with extended lungs, 'Where are you, who was rushing excessively in the deep of night and is now all wrapped up in snores?'
"At this, having been awakened, I do not know by either our fall or his harsh shout, Socrates rose first and he said, 'Not undeservedly do guests curse all these innkeepers. For now that curious fellow breaks in rudely--with eagerness, I suppose, for the purpose of stealing something--he shook me, groggy from deepest sleep, with a deep shout.'
"I arise happy and lively, filled with unexpected joy, and 'Look, most faithful doorkeeper, my companion and my father and my brother, whom, drunken, you falsely accused as killed by me.' And when this had been said, with an embrace, I showered Socrates with kisses.
"But he, struck otherwise by the stench of the most filthy fluid with which those witches had stained me, rejected me violently. 'Scram,' he says, 'you stink of the worst toilet,' and begins to inquire politely the reasons for this odor.
"But poor me, with a silly joke made up at the time, I divert his attention once more in another conversation, and with his right hand having been taken, 'Why don't we go,' I say, 'and sieze the charm of a morning journey?' I put on my little bundle and, with the price of staying having been paid to the innkeeper, we took to the road.
[18]"We had gone a little way and by then everything was lit up by the rising of sunshine. And I curiously and diligently considered the throat of my companion, at which part I had seen the sword slipped in, and I said to myself, 'You are insane, who overwhelmed with drinking cups and wine, dreamed the worst. Look, Socrates is intact, sound, alive. Where is the wound, the sponge? Where, last of all, is the scar so deep, so fresh?' And to him I say, 'Not undeservedly do trusty doctors say that people distended by food and drunkenness dream cruel and grave dreams. Of course for me, because I was less than moderate with my supper drinking glasses, a rough night brought bad omens and savage images, so that I still believe myself sprinkled and desecrated with human blood.'
"At this he was smiling, 'But you,' he says, 'are not drenched with blood but urine. Indeed, I myself too seemed to have had my throat cut through a dream. For I thought this spot on my throat to hurt and my very own heart to be pulled out; and now, even, I am run out with respect to my breath and I am quivering in my knees and I totter 1 with respect to my gait and I long to be fed something for the purpose of reviving my spirit.'
"'Come on,' I say, 'breakfast is ready for you.' And with this having been said, I stripped my knapsack from my shoulder, I stretched out cheese with bread to him quickly, and 'Let's sit near that plane tree,' I say.
[19]"With that done, I myself eat something from the same sack, and seeing accustomed to eating greedily, I watch him fading with rather more extensive leanness and boxwood pallor. Finally, his vital color wiped him out in such a way that, with my fear, also imagining those nocturnal Furies, before my little bit of bread, which I took first, no matter how very small, was sticking in the middle of my throat and it could neither descend down nor ascend upward. For the scarcity itself of travellers increased mt fear. Truly, who would believe one of two companions was killed in the night without the other? Truly he, when he had cut off2 enough food, he began to thirst intolerably. For he had devoured a good part of the best cheese, and hardly so far from the roots of the plane tree, a lazy gentle river went in the splendor of a peaceful marsh, rivalling silver or glass in color. 'Hey,' I say, 'satisfy yourself with the milky water of the river.' He rises and, having waited for a little while for a flatter bank of the river, he, bent on his knees, leans himself forward, greedily striving for a drink. He had not yet sufficiently touched the top of the spray of the water with the ridge of his lips, and his wound in his throat gapes in a pouring hollow and that sponge was suddenly rolled out of him and very little blood accompanied it. At last the lifeless body nearly falls forward into the river, except I, scarcely having held him by one of his feet and with difficulty, dragged him to the higher bank, where I buried my poor little friend, mourned for a time, with sandy earth in everlasting proximity to the river. I myself, nervous and exceptionally afraid for myself, fled through remote and deserted wastelands, and, as if I were an accomplice to the muder of a man, the country was abandoned and home and I embraced the exile beyond, now I live in Aetolia, having drawn together a new marriage."
[20]This was Aristomenes. But that companion of his, who rejected his story on the spot from the beginning with obstinate incredulity, "Nothing," he says, "is more mythical than this tale, nothing is more absurd than that lie." And he turned to me, "Now you," he says, "are a man as repected as shows in your condition and appearance, do you approve of this tale?"
"In fact I," I say, "consider nothing impossible, but whichever way the fates will fade, so all things come out for mortals. For both to me and to you and to all men come to experience many astonishing and nearly infeasible things, yet which are wasted in faith when related to an inexperienced man. But I both believe him, by Hercules, and I remember the welcome favors, because he amused us with the fun of a delightful tale, I passed through the harsh and wild way without trouble and boredom. Which I think my bearer rejoices with this favor too, with me having been brought without fatigue for him all the way to the city gate not on his back, but on my own ears."
[21]This was the end for us in both conversation and our shared journey. For my companions both departed to a small villa nearby to the left. But I approached the first inn which I saw while walking, and I immediately ask about certain things from the old innkeeper woman. "Is this," I ask, "the town of Hypata?" She nodded. "Did you know a certain Milo from the foremost men?" She smiled, and "Sure," she says, "foremost is the name of your Milo, who lives outside the city wall and the whole city." "Jokes aside," I say, "best mother, I beg that you tell both from what country3 he is and in which house he stays." "Do you see," she says, "the furthest windows, which look outside to the city, and the doors on the other side looking back on the nearby alley? There is where your Milo stays, very well-off and rich by far, but a man of extreme greed and infamous for his sordid humblest things. Of course, frequently collecting rich interest under deposit of gold and silver, he is shut into a scanty household and always stretching out his greed, he lives with his wife too, companion of his calamity, and he does not keep but a sole little slave girl, and she goes about always in a style of one begging."
I submit a smile at this. "My friend Demeas kindly and fortunately took me into consideration, who united me going to be traveling abroad to such a man, in whose hospitality I shall fear neither clouds of smoke nor the vapor of steam." [22]And with this small thing having been said I advance to the door having walked differently4 and I begin to beat vocally the door firmly bolted. Finally a certain young little girl appearing, "Hey you," she says, "who so bodly beat the door, under what pretext do you wish to borrow? Or do you alone not know that we consider no guarantee but gold and silver?" "Forebode a better thing," I say, "and answer rather whether I will have found your master within the house." "Certainly," she says, "but what is the reason for this inquiry?" "I deliver letters for him written to him by Demeas of Corinth." "Wait here in this very spot for me," she says, "while I announce you." And with that said, with the doors bolted again, she went inside. Having returned a little while later with the house having been opened, "He asks for you," she says.
I brought myself in and I find him reclining on a very scanty little cot and beginning to eat just at that moment. His wife was sitting nearby his feet and with an empty table having been set up, of which by means of pointing, he says, "Hey! Welcome." "Very well," I say, and I deliver the letters to him then and there. With which having been read very quickly, "I love," he says, "my friend Demeas, who brings such a guest to me." [23]And with this said, he orders his wife to make room, and orders that I sit nearby in her place, and now dragging me, hesitating with shyness, down by the flap of my garment having been snatched, "Sit near," he says, "there. For because of fear of robbers it is not permitted for us to procure any chairs nor sufficing furniture." I did.
And thus, "I," he says, "might conclude certainly on account of the handsome appearance of that body of yours and on account of this altogether virginial shyness that you have come from noble-minded stock and rightly, but my Demeas proclaims the same in his letter. Therefore, I ask that you not scorn the brevity of our hole in the wall. Look: that adjoining bedroom will be for you a respectable refuge. I hope you will stay as a guest willingly in our house. For both you will have made our home greater with honor, and you will have laid claim to a glorious mark for yourself, if, content with a tiny little household, you will have emulated the virtues of your father's family name of Theseus5, who did not disdain the poor hospitality of the old woman Hercale."
And having called the slave girl, "Photis," he says, "put the little bundles gathered up with a string of the guest in this bedroom, and at the same time, bring out the oil for annointing and the linens for washing and the rest from this storeroom for the man to use most quickly; and lead my guest to the nearest baths; he is tired from a difficult enough and long journey."
1 The Latin word is titubo. Very onomatopoeic.
2 The Latin literally says "beheaded" (detruncaverat). Apuleius is being clever.
3 Greek men (and to some degree, the Romans too) relied on their homeland for their identity.
4 Yeah...I don't know what that means. I probably translated it incorrectly.
5 I believe this is some reference to the hero Theseus, but I'm too lazy and tired to look.