QWERAK, the five stages of grief, and Superbowl Sunday
I've returned to hunt-and peck. That's because, for example, the U is where I expect to find the I. Which is where you would look for an F. But at least cheering for the Eagles got results.
Allow me to explain. I'll try to be succinct.
Because of repetitive strain injury I got an unusual keyboard a couple years ago. I got a TouchStream, [edit] made by a company near Philidelphia called Fingerworks,[/edit] which has a totally smooth surface. you tap the key markings to type letters. You drag two fingers to move the mouse, three to click or drag. Pinch two fingers together to cut, reverse to paste. Drag two particular fingers up for undo, down for redo. A few days with this thing and a mouse might as well be a punch card.
But that wasn't good enough for my ailing digits, so I got the model that had keys laid out in all the wrong places. They mostly sell QWERTY, but I got the QWERAK layout, still experimental, a hybrid of standard QWERTY and Dvorak optimized for smooth surface typing. (You can see all the layouts here, although the QWERAK I got was an ultra-experimental predecessor to the one they show.) So that's what I got, and like a medical miracle the pain in my hands went away. I liked it so much I bought two.
Cut to a month ago and I've broken them both (through no fault of the keyboards.) I write the company about warrantees and repair, and they say they don't make QWERAK any more. They said if I sent in my old keyboards I could have 2 Dvoraks at cost.
This led to the following exchange:
-------------------------------------------------------------
To: Fingerworks support
[despondent wail] You no longer make QWERAK keyboards?
1. DENIAL
That's ridiculous. QWERAK is the most hard-core old-school fingerworks keyboard ever made. Surely many of the people who developed the keyboard use QWERAK. You wouldn't discontinue it.
2. ANGER
How could you discontinue it? You sold me that keyboard! I learned how to use that keyboard because of you! How could you do this to me?
3. BARGAINING
Can't you just replace the ribbon cable on the LP or reaffix the wire on the ST? If you can't... OK, I'll settle for a "QYLP" QWERAK keyboard. I've been typing on a "QWKP" QWERAK for a couple years now but I'll swallow my pride and adjust. I'll send you two QWKP's for one "QYLP." Two QWKP's and $150. And a puppy.
4. DEPRESSION
This is all my fault. How many times did I knock the ST off my desk? And I shouldn't have left the LP there where it could be knocked down. I'll have to resign myself to typing in terrible pain and an early, merciful death.
5. ACCEPTANCE
[In "acceptance" I ask them how to go about the actual exchange. Let' skip it.]
Thank you for your patience and your help. This is very important to me. I'm sure this rambling, long-winded message gives you an idea of how much I type.
-------------------------------------------------------------
From: Fingerworks support
Everyone here loved your email. We will send you 2 Silver Dvorak LP's with one frame for free if you are willing to root for the Eagles in the Super Bowel. You must send us a picture of you with Eagles paraphenelia by the end of the day today. Please let me know if you accept our terms.
-------------------------------------------------------------
To: Fingerworks support
GO EAGLES!
-------------------------------------------------------------
What followed was construction of some home-made Eagles gear, some photos at the office and then at noghri's superbowl party, and a UPS truck. And while the Dvorak layout is taking getting used to, I still like it better than QWERTY. It's too easy on a smooth-surface QWERTY to, for example, roll from the W to the E and mess up the word "bowl."
Allow me to explain. I'll try to be succinct.
Because of repetitive strain injury I got an unusual keyboard a couple years ago. I got a TouchStream, [edit] made by a company near Philidelphia called Fingerworks,[/edit] which has a totally smooth surface. you tap the key markings to type letters. You drag two fingers to move the mouse, three to click or drag. Pinch two fingers together to cut, reverse to paste. Drag two particular fingers up for undo, down for redo. A few days with this thing and a mouse might as well be a punch card.
But that wasn't good enough for my ailing digits, so I got the model that had keys laid out in all the wrong places. They mostly sell QWERTY, but I got the QWERAK layout, still experimental, a hybrid of standard QWERTY and Dvorak optimized for smooth surface typing. (You can see all the layouts here, although the QWERAK I got was an ultra-experimental predecessor to the one they show.) So that's what I got, and like a medical miracle the pain in my hands went away. I liked it so much I bought two.
Cut to a month ago and I've broken them both (through no fault of the keyboards.) I write the company about warrantees and repair, and they say they don't make QWERAK any more. They said if I sent in my old keyboards I could have 2 Dvoraks at cost.
This led to the following exchange:
-------------------------------------------------------------
To: Fingerworks support
[despondent wail] You no longer make QWERAK keyboards?
1. DENIAL
That's ridiculous. QWERAK is the most hard-core old-school fingerworks keyboard ever made. Surely many of the people who developed the keyboard use QWERAK. You wouldn't discontinue it.
2. ANGER
How could you discontinue it? You sold me that keyboard! I learned how to use that keyboard because of you! How could you do this to me?
3. BARGAINING
Can't you just replace the ribbon cable on the LP or reaffix the wire on the ST? If you can't... OK, I'll settle for a "QYLP" QWERAK keyboard. I've been typing on a "QWKP" QWERAK for a couple years now but I'll swallow my pride and adjust. I'll send you two QWKP's for one "QYLP." Two QWKP's and $150. And a puppy.
4. DEPRESSION
This is all my fault. How many times did I knock the ST off my desk? And I shouldn't have left the LP there where it could be knocked down. I'll have to resign myself to typing in terrible pain and an early, merciful death.
5. ACCEPTANCE
[In "acceptance" I ask them how to go about the actual exchange. Let' skip it.]
Thank you for your patience and your help. This is very important to me. I'm sure this rambling, long-winded message gives you an idea of how much I type.
-------------------------------------------------------------
From: Fingerworks support
Everyone here loved your email. We will send you 2 Silver Dvorak LP's with one frame for free if you are willing to root for the Eagles in the Super Bowel. You must send us a picture of you with Eagles paraphenelia by the end of the day today. Please let me know if you accept our terms.
-------------------------------------------------------------
To: Fingerworks support
GO EAGLES!
-------------------------------------------------------------
What followed was construction of some home-made Eagles gear, some photos at the office and then at noghri's superbowl party, and a UPS truck. And while the Dvorak layout is taking getting used to, I still like it better than QWERTY. It's too easy on a smooth-surface QWERTY to, for example, roll from the W to the E and mess up the word "bowl."