(no subject)
I found 
of me at HOIAC this spring and i think I look pretty. I think I have definitely gained weight. I think I'm still trying to cope with the fact that that might, in fact, be okay.
If I looked through all my old notebooks and files that I don't have anymore and logs somewhere www I bet I could find exactly what weight I was that day. I'm guessing it was somewhere close to 15 pounds less than my log would say today (if I had the guts to have a log anymore). I'm guessing I hated it then.
I'm going to go to lunch today. I will walk into the cafeteria and have the nice black man swipe my ID card. I will take a tray off the pile, get some silverware, and put a plate on my black tray. I will choose what I want to eat. I will make my crystal light and lemonade concoction by the breakfast bar. I may or may not visit the salad bar; I may or may not eat dessert. I will finish my meal. I may or may not chat with a friend I may or may not find there. I will send my tray and empty dishes rolling down the small ramp into the kitchen. I will hear the clash of dishes and plastic and i will leave, walk up the stairs and outside and possibly smoke.
It sounds so fucking simple.
of me at HOIAC this spring and i think I look pretty. I think I have definitely gained weight. I think I'm still trying to cope with the fact that that might, in fact, be okay.
If I looked through all my old notebooks and files that I don't have anymore and logs somewhere www I bet I could find exactly what weight I was that day. I'm guessing it was somewhere close to 15 pounds less than my log would say today (if I had the guts to have a log anymore). I'm guessing I hated it then.
I'm going to go to lunch today. I will walk into the cafeteria and have the nice black man swipe my ID card. I will take a tray off the pile, get some silverware, and put a plate on my black tray. I will choose what I want to eat. I will make my crystal light and lemonade concoction by the breakfast bar. I may or may not visit the salad bar; I may or may not eat dessert. I will finish my meal. I may or may not chat with a friend I may or may not find there. I will send my tray and empty dishes rolling down the small ramp into the kitchen. I will hear the clash of dishes and plastic and i will leave, walk up the stairs and outside and possibly smoke.
It sounds so fucking simple.