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Player
Name: Kyrie
Livejournal Username: kyriesanctus
E-mail: sorcerygenius@gmail.com
AIM/MSN: sorcery genius (AIM)
Timezone: EST.
Current Characters in Route: N/A
Character
Name: Oerba Dia Vanille
Series: Final Fantasy XIII
Timeline: Chapter 11.
Canon Resource Links: "I think we all saw the glimmer of a dream, somewhere in the sky that night."
Personality: They say you can't judge a book by it's cover. This has never been more true than it is with Oerba Dia Vanille. On the outside, Vanille's upbeat nature and naivete are the cover to a book with pages filled with the hardship of living as something of perceived evil, as well as doing things she is none too proud to admit, mired in guilt and uncertainty and trying to cover up her own depression. Considering she is very much a closed book, the cover is the majority of what you see. This isn't to say her positive attitude is fake- but it is a mask, one she hides behind often in order to run away from facing things like telling people truths that could hurt them. In a way, Vanille's book is like a brightly colored tome that turns out to be the hardest read of your life.
On the surface, Vanille is the picture of sunshine: always upbeat, almost childishly bubbly, and overly friendly, and never seems to run out of energy for being downright annoyingly cheerful. There are no shortage of moments where it is completely inappropriate for her level of cheer, particularly after the entire party of Cocoon residents have been branded as Pulse l'Cie, basically enemies of themselves. A lot of her personality can come out by being downright bizarre, as if she has no idea what's going on around her. She doesn't seem to notice that things are particularly bad at any point, and just keeps skipping along, humming to herself without a single care in the world.
The truth is because a lot of this is a front. Behind the big smiles and childlike naivete is a girl who has dug herself a hole far too deep to climb her own way out of. Although she isn't decietful by nature, she has managed to spin a web of lies so thick that she's caught an entire world in its grasp, beginning with one of the people she cares about most in the world- Fang.
Fang is by far Vanille's Most Important Person. Having come from a place largely considered by her party members (and all of Coccoon) to be 'Hell on Earth,' Vanille is no stranger to survival (if the bear pelt around her waist is anything to go by- after all, it was taken from a bear she'd defeated herself). She's lived on Gran Pulse for most of her life, and after losing her family in the War of Transgression, started living in the Oerba Orphanage, where she met Oerba Yun Fang. The two became close friends, and, eventually, when Fang became a l'Cie in order to protect Gran Pulse from their enemy in the sky, Cocoon, Vanille follows, offering herself to the fal'Cie after Fang had insulted and tried to attack it. Vanille had known she would ask to become a l'Cie along with Fang since the beginning, not wanting to be left alone, but Fang still saw it as Vanille saving her life, since the priests of Anima had seen Fang's actions as punishable by death. This closeness to Fang harvested more than a bit of dependency in her, and she doesn't like to be on her own, and especially doesn't like being away from Fang, who she constantly worries about.
The two of them are nearly inseparable, until they wake up on Cocoon after a 500 year stasis after failing to properly complete their Focus (Fang tried to complete it alone in order to prevent the two of them from turning Cie'th, while Vanille was too scared). When she discovers Fang, whose brand is burnt out and inactive, has forgotten her Focus, Vanille lies and pretends she doesn't remember as well; she would rather hide the truth and turn Cie'th (as her own brand is still active) than have her friend know what she had done. Moreover, she understands the true weight of their Focus, and, after spending a while on Cocoon, realizes their 'enemy' doesn't seem to understand what they've done to Pulse, and don't even understand the thing that they fear- the threat from Pulse. The people of Cocoon are like children, being taken care of by the Fal'Cie who steal everything they need from Gran Pulse instead of forcing the people to live on their own terms.
Fang is one of the peoeple Vanille can truly be herself around, and the only person who can usually cut through all of her crap and get at the meat of the problems she may be hiding. After all, you don't grow up together without learning each other's mannerisms, or even how they think. Fang is no stranger to waking up in the middle of the night to Vanille crying in her sleep. Ever since waking up from stasis, however, Vanille had been acting strangely, and unfortunately for Fang, she never got a chance to actually figure out why before they were separated, and it was much later when she learns that Vanille had been lying to her about their Focus all along.
Vanille handles other people very differently, although it is usually in a more upbeat manner than anything. She is compassionate and cares about the people she's friends with or close to, worried about their well-being. She's a very friendly person, often encouraging others to do things they may consider hard or might not be willing to do on their own (she is not very good at practicing what she preaches), and at other times, encouraging them to face it later, to look to the bright side instead of facing their negativity, the same way she does. There are many times where it seems she's pushing people so hard that she's uncaring or insensitive, but it's because she genuinely cares about them, and she usually does this because she thinks it's for the best for them. This is quite naive, considering how much she doesn't even know some of these people. This leads her to seem disingenuous and flippant, as if she doesn't actually care about the people around her- but in reality, she's simply trying to lead them away from emotions she doesn't think they can handle. She doesn't hold much faith in the capacity of hardship of others, thinking that the people of Cocoon are like children who can't take care of themselves.
She would rather be behind someone, supporting them, than leading the troupe- because this was the role she always took with Fang, it's where she feels most comfortable. Fang makes the decisions, and though Vanille may try to fight them or argue with her, usually, the older girl ends up getting her way- though Fang's actions are usually as a direct result of trying to protect Vanille. This isn't to say she isn't a driven young woman- she's just not the leader, which is probably a good thing because of her penchant for trying to run away or lead someone astray to keep them from facing things she's afraid will hurt them. This may make it seem like as if many of Vanille's thoughts put the needs of others before her own, however, this is not entirely the case; while many of her actions are not done solely for selfish reasons, she almost always has an agenda of her own when she drags people into her messes- whether it's looking for Fang or running away from their Focus.
Because oh, does Vanille run. She's the definition of a conundrum- a brave coward. In reality, she's incredibly self-sacrificial, condemning herself to living life as a monster in order to save Cocoon from the fate of being destroyed (which was her and Fang's Focus) as well as protecting Fang from having to take part in it again, since her brand was inactive, meaning she had no Focus to complete. Her method to this, however, is by running away from everything. This action is actually indicative of her entire personality- she runs away from the truth and her fears by pushing it all in the back of her mind, pretending it doesn't exist, and putting on a happy face for those around her. By her own definition, whenever she is afraid of what's to come, she tries to lose herself in happier days, happier thoughts, in order to make it less painful. Unfortunately, it's not always successful.
She seems to have a little bit of a knack for getting into trouble, too, and can be reckless and impulsive, and mischievous as well. It almost seems as if she's not thinking ahead when making decisions, instead jumping in. This, as with most things with Vanille, is not always the case. She almost always has a reason for doing what she does- she just doesn't share it with anyone. This kind of behavior is actually a running theme with her- she's very secretive, always with a smile, often spinning lies or not telling the whole truth to run from having to face the things that she's done, or what she knows. Sometimes it's to protect the feelings of others around her, and sometimes, it's to protect herself. She has a fear of facing the consequences of her actions, though when pushed to her emotional brink, cracks and will spill what she's been keeping inside.
That is the chink in the armor- her seemingly endless sunny disposition does have moments where the true emotion, laying underneath, shows itself. While she does her best to hide it with smiles and playfulness, this is not always possible- in many cases, she finds ways to hide her tears, like running out into the middle of a rainstorm. When the emotional dam breaks, there is usually an out-pour of guilt and insecurity until she can build it back up. She's even cried herself to sleep, allowing herself to become overwhelmed with the situation and in many instances has let grief consume her, losing her will to live. When she allows herself to become overwhelmed in this way, that is when her instincts to run start kicking in. She is afraid of so much that she shuts down and doesn't face things the way she should.
More than anything, Vanille doesn't want to hurt people- anyone, but especially the people she cares about. She is afraid that her new Focus will hurt innocent people. This is what leads her to fake amnesia and claim to not remember what happened when she and Fang wake up from crystal stasis. Doing this, however, forces Fang to act out and drag more people into their situation- namely, Sazh and his son Dajh, and Lightning and her sister Serah. This sends her down another spiral of guilt, both over lying and what her little white lies had brought about. Her apologies, while sincere, are sometimes cryptic- she wants to relieve herself of the guilt, but is too afraid to come clean about what the apologies are actually for.
A bit stubborn, Vanille does not always bend easily. Usually, however, since she's almost impossible to keep up with in terms of train of thought, she can usually lead someone astay with very little persuasion. She can get sassy, too, particularly when she feels slighted by someone who insulting Gran Pulse and its people (she and Fang both have a lot of hometown pride). She can't stand to hear them called barbarians- after all, those are her people!- but, unlike Fang, she's able to hold her tongue, keeping her temper to a quiet simmer. She's very Gran Pulsian in behavior, though to the rest of the party, unwitting to her origins, it just comes off as more oddities to add to the goofball that is Vanille.
In battles, she tends to get cocky, especially towards monsters, often taunting them, and cheering whenever the team wins. This is likely because of how she was raised in Oerba- a town constantly attacked by nearby monsters. She obviously doesn't hold much remorse for striking them down, either, as she seems almost... Cheerful about it. She and Fang both hunt for food, and don't seem to see anything wrong with commandeering wild animals for transportation. They both find it strange when the animals of Cocoon seem placid when they try to catch them and eat them, as if they don't even understand that there's a threat at all.
Vanille is easily summarized in one quote- “whenever the future is clear and hurts to see, I just close my eyes and lose myself in happier days.” Her childlike naivete keeps her acting happy and upbeat to keep morale up, however, it's also a good way to cover up her insecurities and guilt, and to run away from the troubles she's created rather than facing them.
Strengths/Weaknesses:
STRENGTHS:
☼ Optimism, optimism, optimism! Almost regardless of the situation, even sometimes when it's entirely inappropriate for the situation, Vanille maintains an optimistic and cheerful demeanor- on the outside at the very least. Even when things look their darkest, she's there to smile and do her best to add some cheer to the situation, if not for others, then for herself. Her enthusiasm is pretty much endless- or, at least she forces it to be. She's just a really friendly and outgoing girl.
☼ Kindness. Vanille is an extremely kind and compassionate young woman. When she sees Hope suffering after the loss of his mother, she rushes in to not only save his life by giving him the slap in the face he needed, but to comfort him. That's shortlived, considering she runs off right afterward, but she did hate to see him suffering, imparting some ill-timed wisdom on him to "face it later." When she sees someone in need of emotional support, she's there to try to give it- even if that support is sometimes her thinking that they can't handle an emotionally heavy situation and trying to push them past it because she doesn't know how to deal with it, either. She's a caretaker at heart, though, and likes to cook and take care of the local livestock- er, animals.
☼ Curiosity! Vanille is a very curious young woman who tends to poke her nose into things that sometimes lead her to trouble. She's not afraid to ask questions, though, and that can be considered a strength- there's no such thing as a dumb question, right? Whenever there's something she doesn't know, she asks, even at the expense of making the party question her intelligence or seriousness. The truth is, of course, they don't know that the reasoning behind her questions is due to her origin- she's from Gran Pulse, and thus, doesn't understand the workings of Cocoon... And is, in turn, curious about them!
☼ She's a good actress. This is both a flaw and a strength for her, considering the fact that her lies sort of a starting point for the entire plot in Final Fantasy XIII. She's good at feigning innocence or ignorance to get people to trust her, and also very good at hiding when something is wrong with her- because she doesn't want anyone to worry about her, and hates being an inconvenience. While she's actually a happy person, much of her cheerfulness is an act, to deflect suspicions from herself.
☼ She's kind of... Weird. No, I mean, like, really weird. She has a random accent that fluctuates between sounding Australian and something else, she walks with a skip, and she says and does things that are just... Kind of bizarre. Her reactions to most situations are odd, ranging from sassy to scarily and needlessly happy. She's kooky and makes things up randomly, just because they're fun. She can also talk to animals... Kind of. At least, she understands exactly what a baby chocobo is trying to tell her, at one point, narrowly pin-pointing down from a list of things that could be wrong to know, specifically, that something was wrong with Hope's brand. She's kind of off-the wall, but...
☼ She's also knowledgeable and insightful. Particularly about things of a Gran Pulse origin, as well as the history of l'Cie. Of course, that was common knowledge on Gran Pulse, so it doesn't particularly mean she's very intelligent. What makes her come off that way, though, is the fact that she's the game's narrator, and while her insightfulness is in hindsight of the game, much of it is very poignant.
☼ Survival. Gran Pulse is kind of filled with monsters that want to kill you. That in itself would be enough, except for the fact that they also attack the villages, and people have to defend themselves from them. It's just kind of a dangerous place to live. If that isn't indication enough, though, there's the fact that Vanille has also killed a bear with her own two hands and wears its skin as a fashion statement. That thing around her waist? Yeah, she killed that. Though canon doesn't really say how she did it, it's known that... She did.
☼ Strength. Of the emotional kind. It's something she doesn't give herself credit for, but Vanille is very strong in the not-physical sense. She weathers quite the emotional beating through canon, and even before that, she's tough: it takes a very strong-willed person to become a l'Cie and be able to take on a Focus as big as theirs. A big source of her strength is her loyalty to Fang.
☼ All in all, she's a good person. Despite the fact that, because of her lies (and what she considers her weaknesses), she accidentally the entire plot, Vanille's intentions are inherently good ones. She wants to protect the people of Cocoon because she feels like she owes it to them (Serah and Sazh in particular, but also Lightning and Snow), and is willing to sacrifice herself at great length to bring this to fruition. Though she sees herself as a coward, to be honest, she's actually quite brave, and stands up in the face of danger to protect the people she cares about more than once in the game. She's willing, after all, to endure a lifetime of torture in order to make it up to Serah that her lies are what got her turned into a l'Cie, as well as to stop Fang from having to do horrible things in order to protect the her from turning Cie'th (Fang's brand is broken, so there's no danger of her following that same route). Protecting people and making up for her mistakes is so important to her that she breaks her ever-important promise to Fang to always be together by putting herself on the train to be Purged.
WEAKNESSES:☼ Her positivity and cheer are somewhat relative to negativity- being that they're ways for her to escape her own problems and guilt. She uses that cheerful facade to run away from her problems rather than facing them, often trying to "lose herself in happier days" rather than actually confronting them head on. Even her moments of bravery only come after long episodes of tug-of-war of her fighting her immediate 'flight' response. Vanille is, in other words, a coward.
☼ She's a liar. She covers up the truth in order to make things easier for herself, and, in moments of misguided judgment, sometimes believes it's also for the benefit of others. She tells herself that it's for the good of Cocoon that she hides the party's Focus from them, even though she understands exactly what it is, and she is afraid to tell them the truth about herself because she needs someone to hide behind. She's not particularly strong, and is very much afraid of being alone. In a way, she's using them, and even though she comes to care for them and is really and truly a kind and compassionate girl underneath everything, she distanced herself by playing the role of ditzy and naive, even though she's a very perceptive young woman.
☼ She covers her guilt rather than doing something about it. She wears the facade to ward off other people worrying about her, as well, rather than being real with them and telling them what's wrong with her. While this is only partially negative, it's another way of lying to people.
☼ She doesn't have a very good stock in the strength of others. Vanille also seems to have a low opinion of people who are not from Gran Pulse; that is, she sees the residents of Cocoon as people who are unable to take care of themselves, who have to rely on stealing from the land below (Pulse) in order to survive rather than working to provide for themselves. This prejudice mostly goes away when she feels guilt over her cowardice being the cause behind Serah being branded as a Pulse l'Cie (and she vows to save Cocoon by not fulfilling her Focus) and befriends the party of Cocoon-dwelling l'Cie she dragged into her mess, but the point is- she doesn't think they can handle the stress, and she tries to usher them through the hardships she doesn't think they can handle.
☼ She is extremely self-sacrifical, willing to throw away her own life to atone for those she's ruined. She's also self-centered in believing that everything is her fault, even though it actually isn't, though her lies complicated things and ultimately made them worse for everyone. She basically believes the world would be better off if she, and l'Cie in general, didn't exist, or were to turn Cie'th without completing their Focus. Later she starts to believe, with a nudge from the rest of the party, that there's another way around their Focus- but she takes the longest to come around, despite appearances.
☼ She has a bit of self-hatred streak. This is part of her blaming herself for everything. She thinks the absolute worst of herself at all times because of her past actions and mistakes. She thinks, if only she'd been stronger, none of this would have ever happened. She laments the fact that she wasn't brave enough from the beginning- even though, later, she does resolve to be braver, and to do her part in the fight.
☼ She's also a terrible listener, and is very stubborn, not always doing what she's told. She gets herself into trouble easily, even after being warned away from it by the other party members. What's that, Lightning? Don't wander off? Well, she did. And she triggered a boss battle, too! She pokes around in other places, too, but this is the biggest evidence of that.
☼ Vanille is afraid of being the cause of harm to people, especially those she cares about, as well as innocent people. And this fear is so crippling that it actually moves her into inaction, rather than doing anything about anything, which would probably have been more helpful than harmful. However, with Fang's influence, she does do things she doesn't want to do- like attacking a Cocoon Fal'Cie. Whenever Fang says, goes, basically, until she actually grows a spine, though that's more to fight alongside Fang than against her whims.
☼ She fears being left alone. Yes, and this is despite the fact that she herself decides to return to Gran Pulse, alone, where she may turn into a Cie'th so that she can't complete her Focus, and puts herself on the Purge train. She's like a walking contradiction, I know. When she finds herself in a group, she clings to them so steadfastly that she lies and pretends to be from Cocoon, a freshly-branded l'Cie like them, in order to gain their trust and so they won't toss her out or kill her or blame her for everything that happened or anything. She's used to being with someone so much that she sleeps alongside Fang every night (they shared a bed in Oerba). She's afraid of people hating her, even though she feels she deserves it (and in some cases, does warrant anger at her irresponsible actions).
☼ She's a crybaby. Fang has said she cries in her sleep almost every night, and she also cries in her sleep when she sleeps beside Sazh. Granted, she does have plenty of things to cry about, being... You know, an orphan, all alone without her Most Important Person Fang, and being the cause of everyone's misery and them being branded and their family members and loved ones dying or turning to crystal and stuff!
☼ She has a hard time doing the right thing, when it's too scary. Though she does brave-up when she needs to, she spends a majority of the game floundering back and forth, and pretty much thinks the solution is to die. She doesn't know what she's supposed to do, what actually is the Right Thing, though she's willing to go to pretty much any length to do it.
Pokémon Information
Affiliation: Trainer.
Starter: Mareep.
Password: Taco Bell!
Samples
First Person Sample: Aahhh...
[ This video is not for those who have motion sickness- the person holding it doesn't seem to understand exactly how it works, because they keep spinning the device in their hand, turning it upside down, holding it over their head- pretty much everything they can possibly do with it. ]
I don't know how to work this thing..! Which way is 'up?' [ She finally stops moving it around long enough to get a good glimpse- and the audience gets a look at a bright-eyed pigtailed young woman, staring into the screen curiously. ] You're just too complicated! Too many buttons, all over the place...
Ah, wait- are you... Recording? You are! Why didn't you tell me?
[ She huffs indignantly, but then smiles and nods once, holding it up at eye-level. ] Hii~! Um, my name is Vanille- oh, and this is my new friend- [ She flashes the PokéGear in the direction of a Mareep sitting right beside her- ] His name's Bhakti! Say hi, Bhakti! [ Bhakti 'reep's quietly, earning a giggle. ] A man gave him to me a few minutes ago and said he was mine... So, now I guess we're pals! Anyway-
I'm looking for someone! A few someones, actually... If you can hear this, I- Well, I'm looking for someone named... Fang. And Lightning, and Sazh. And Hope! And Snow... If you know anyone like that, could you let me know? I really need to find them... [ There's a hint of thoughtful sadness in that last sentence. Her expression saddens a little for a moment... But then it's like the lights were switched back on, she smile is bright again. ] It's important! Okay-? And, ah...
[ She glances around. ] Nevermind! That's it. Ah...
... Now, how do I turn you off, again?
Third Person Sample: Vanille slumped to her knees by the waterside in New Bark Town. Already she felt lost, alone and confused, having woken up in this strange place. Though she wasn't exactly unused to waking up in places she'd never been before (it had been happening a lot, lately), she couldn't say she was enjoying being alone, or having so many unanswered questions. Before, it had been an almost automatic realization of where they were- she and Fang ahd woken up in the familiar temple, though when they'd wandered outside, it hadn't taken long to realize they were no longer on Gran Pulse, but on Cocoon. Unlike then, though, this situaiton was entirely different, and that much more frightening because of it.
So far she'd done a good job holding herself together, after having things hurriedly explained to her and then having herself nearly shoved out of the house she'd woken up in; after stumbling around for a while, she'd ended up following a crowd of equally confused people to talk to a man who'd given her a strange-looking ball, and sent her on her way. She'd tried asking people what it was for, but most of them had seemed just as confused as she was, if not eager to be on their way. So now, here she was, quietly sulking by the water, trying to figure out what in the world was going on, where in the world she was, and, just as importantly, where everyone else was, too. They couldn't just leave each other alone in some strange world, after all... They were family.
It didn't make her feel any better, though, to think of all of them just as lost and confused as she was. It would have been easier if they could have all been here together. They still had too much to figure out, after all... How to remove their brands for one, let alone if that was even possible. At the very least, she seemed to be safe, for now. No one was bothering her, and it didn't seem like the town was on high alert because of l'Cie. She could quietly slip out of here and try to find her bearings somewhere less public. Sighing, she started rolling the ball over and over in the grass. She still had no idea what it was supposed to actually do. She'd been given a backpack full of things she hadn't even looked at yet, as well as a tiny pink... Something. She didn't really know what that was, either.
She knew it wasn't really any use moping around here, so, slowly, she started to rise to her feet, when the ball rolled forward in the grass. She nearly slipped forward over it (and into the water), but before that could happen, she jumped back- particularly because the ball was glowing brightly. That... Hadn't happened when she'd been touching it, before! Caught between watching in awe and the urge to run away, Vanille sat frozen as a bolt of light jet from within the little capsule, forming a rather distinct shape before fading, and, leaving in its place...
Well, something. Whatever it was, it didn't seem like a threat. In fact...
"It's cute!" Gasping with a mixture of shock and delight, Vanille crawled over to the little animal that had come out of the ball. It was fluffy, with stubby little legs and a tuft of curls on its head, with weird striped protrusions on either side. In other words: something very, very cute. "What are you, huh? Little guy?" She was nearly bouncing with excitement- she'd never seen anything like this! While the sheep in Nautilus had come close, this seemed... Very different. Not to mention the fact that it'd come out of that ball-thing.
Its response was a simple one: a quiet reep. Vanille giggled. "That's all you can say?" Another question, another reep, another giggle. "Well, that's alright. I think I know what you're trying to tell me. And- it's nice to meet you, too!" Without a second thought, Vanille reached over to pat her new friend on the head- only be on the receiving end of a static jolt. Yelping, she jumped backwards, clutching her hand to her chest.
"O-ow... That hurt..."
She never did learn not to pet everything she saw, did she?