Chapter 23; Video
[[Good evening, Johto. This broadcast has not been brought to you by the typical bookish blond that usually occupies the screen when this 'gear is in use, but the oh-so-cool mug of her Quagsire, Insufferable Prick. He's sporting a pretty sweet pair of shades (which Rose still hasn't figured out where he acquired them from) and a look that just
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What're you talking about? What's the problem?
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Fleecy's got the hots for this rabbit Pokesis and can't fucking figure out how to just go and proposition her for egg making. Too scared.
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Who is a rabbit?
And he wants to make eggs with her?
Isn't that kind of wrong?
[Meowth is staring at you with a o.o face, Pokébro.]
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[[Was this worth explaining?]]
He wants to make eggs with this rabbit. They're not related in the least, though man. Knowing Fleecy he probably wouldn't care anyway.
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[Cat is a virgin and has never liked anyone. HE DOESN'T GET IT.]
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You know, nevermind.
Right now, I think we need to focus on the problem you have rearing it's fugly fucking head.
Your trainer have a girl kitty for you, dude? Cute little chicka tail for you to chase? Actually, rewind. Forget that. Are you even interested in chicks?
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I mean I know Kyo really wants me to evolve and all, but I'm not sure if I want to change just yet. What if it's as big of a change as Carp's? I won't be able to sit on his shoulder anymore, that's for sure! But I would like an awesome name...
[THERE ARE MORE PRESSING MATTERS HERE, CAT. Apparently. And they are about your sexuality.]
All of my teammates are male. Actually, I don't think I've ever seen a girl kitty before. [Ponders.]
Chicks, like birds? [Headtilt.] No, but they're real easy to beat!
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Okay, first of all, evolving is the best. Not even kidding you dude, take it from me. Used to be this stupid as hell fucking Wooper or whatever. Didn't have arms, barely had legs, couldn't wear shades, it was bullshit. I was still cool, if course, but fuck man.
Second of all, no. Not chicks like birds. Chicks like the opposite of dicks, dude. Damsels, lassies, babes, dames, Pokesephines, broads, ladies. Girls. Do you like girls? Is that how you swing? Or are you creeping on the guys? If your entire time is nothing but cocks I wouldn't be surprised.
Thirdly, if you do dig the girls, we need to get you a feminine feline friend pronto, bro. You're obviously in desperate need of it.
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Hmmm, really? Well, all right! Maybe Kyo'll like me better anyway! I just hope I don't turn into something as big as Carp, 'cuz he can't fit anywhere!
Ohhhhh, now I know what you mean! No, I don't think I like guys? [Blink.] I never really liked Carp since I found out I couldn't eat him and now he's just scary. And I really hate that Damn Rat! I like Shock, though! I took care of him when he was a kitten. Then there's Kotsu, but he's really lonely, and...
Well how'm I supposed to find one?
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Dude does it matter? You're a cat, no way are you going to get all that big. Cats are like lap Pokemon or whatever. Domesticated. Bullshit like that. And who cares if they like you or not man, you have to watch out for yourself. You evolve, you become more powerful, meaning you can defend yourself better when your trainer's being a dipshit about battles. What is so hard to comprehend about that, seriously? Shit's ridiculous with how many of you pre-evolutions don't get it.
Just while you're out and about training and shit. Just keep your eye out for one. You know how to spot a girl, don't you? Come on, that's gotta be second nature. It always is. Don't let me down, bro.
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[[Flipper salute and then he turns off the feed.]]
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