Five Heartaches | Kris/Adam, Kris/Katy, R
(Originally posted 17th April 2009.)
Title: Five Heartaches
Author: ilytheira
Pairing: Kradam (Kris Allen/Adam Lambert) with a dash of Kris/Katy.
Rating: R
Summary: 'And of course, Adam understands. He knows his place.'
Notes: It's not technically the iTunes fic meme per se since I'm not starting and stopping the same time the song does, but it was inspired by it. I chose five songs and wrote five ficlets inspired by the song a line from the song. This is a follow-up/companion fic to Seven Minutes; it might be helpful to read that one first as certain things I could not fit into that 'fic, I put here (I, II, and III occur during the Seven Minutes timeframe, IV and V are set after it.)
Disclaimer: Neither Kris nor Adam, nor any of the other people featured or any of the songs below, belong to me.
This one gets a little emotional for both boys, folks.
Missed the previous part? Go check out Seven Minutes! :)
IV. Two Steps Removed From Everything I Thought I Knew | 'The Truth' ; David Cook
It takes Kris a few moments more than usual to recover from the afterglow of his third orgasm of the evening. He's adjusted his position by now, is sitting up with his back against the headboard, but he's panting and still gathering his breath. Beside him, Adam's already beginning to fall into a light slumber, body curled into a fetal position, each rise and fall of his chest accompanied by a quiet snore. The image is so sweet, so tender, so unlike the image Adam presents to the rest of the world, that Kris cannot help but smile. In the dim light of the lamp on Adam's night stand, he can make out freckles on the black-haired man's arms, could probably form own constellations on the smooth expanse of his skin, and he believes firmly that this side of Adam - exposed, gentle, vulnerable - might be his favorite.
It takes him another minute or three to fully realize just what he and Adam had done. The black band around the fourth finger of his left hand is suddenly heavy, and the sweat that had made him glow as Adam moved torturously slow above him makes him feel like he's drowning. Slowly, so as not to disturb Adam who, by now, has rolled over onto his stomach and buried his face in his pillow, Kris gets up and tiptoes to the bathroom. The tiled floor is cold underneath his bare feet as he enters, and he shivers involuntarily. He looks around and spies a bathrobe then throws it on, and he has to chuckle at himself as it smells suspiciously of the soap Adam uses.
He looks at himself in the mirror and notices a red spot against his pale skin, resting at the base of his neck; he can still see teeth marks that have yet to begin to fade away. He closes his eyes and lets himself dwell on the memory of only minutes before, minutes before when Adam, naked and so goddamn perfect, eyes bright in the light but darkened by lust, had allowed his teeth to nip at Kris' skin; he figures that if he opened the bathrobe, he'd see the same marks all over his body.
The thought of Adam makes his skin flush, makes heat run through his body three times, making him invincible against the air-conditioning that has chosen this moment to restart the circulation of cold air through the mansion. The image of Adam makes his cock twitch, makes his mouth water, makes his heart beat faster faster faster.
He leans forward, turns the cold water on, and splashes his face twice. He looks up at his reflection, water running down his cheeks in rivulets, before involuntarily, his eyes flicker to the black band on his ring finger.
His heart begins to hurt so much that it brings him near tears; he closes his eyes to prevent the tears but all he succeeds in doing his closing his eyes so hard that his head begins to throb; and there is an unsettling feeling in his stomach that he cannot shake, as though he wants to throw up but can't do so. He blinks repeatedly before allowing his eyes to close gently, and Adam is the first thing he sees: Adam, while they're getting their makeup done backstage, joking with the stylists as they hover above him and worry about his eyes his lips his cheeks his hair; Adam, while they're gathered around in the living room and choosing their songs for the week, lying on the sofa with his shirt riding high enough for him to glimpse skin; Adam, while he's fucking him, slowly slowly too slowly gently gently not rough enough, naked and breathing hard and complete and utter perfection; Adam, while he's -
He makes a fist with his right hand and hits the counter until it turns red and begins to pulsate. He doesn't know what he's done he doesn't know what he's done of course he knows what he's done.
He closes his eyes again, and this time, he doesn't see Adam, he sees Katy: Katy, with her blonde hair up in a ponytail, her eyes bright with a smile, while they're walking in the park hand-in-hand; Katy, while they're cooking in the kitchen with their matching aprons, flour all over her hair and egg whites all over her clothes; Katy, while she's staring down at him from up in the red room while he's singing after Ryan's announced that he's made it to the top 12; Katy, while she's -
Katy while she's hugging him, holding on to him so tightly he thought he'd break, crying and telling him how much she loves him, how much she supports him, how she'll always be there for him, all the way, any way, every way.
He exhales and faces the inevitable.
Kris knows he needs to call her.
(It's probably the only way he'll manage to stay sane.)
II. I'm Warm Enough Because the Tension's Like a Fire | 'Six Feet Under the Stars' ; All Time Low
"You boys seriously need to stop doing this to yourselves."
Adam is more than prepared to tear his hair out as he stands up from the couch then turns around to look down at Megan, who is looking at him with an imploring gaze, eyes wide and bright. "Thank you," he says as calmly as possible, "but Megan, I really don't need this right now."
"Oh, don't give me that crap, Adam," Megan says as she stands up, raising her index finger and prodding Adam in the chest with it. "Don't try to pull that crap with me. Even Allison's starting to pick up on something."
He refuses to give in to her; he shakes his head, "I'm not sure I know what you mean."
"Of course you don't know what I mean." She stares at him, posture exhausted and expression slightly disappointed.
"Stop ignoring Kris, Adam. You're not the only one affected, you know."
(He could have told her that thank you very much, he'd noticed it, too, but then it wouldn't matter anyway.)
Adam spies Kris coming up the stairs out of the corner of his eye, and in a moment of perfect ungentlemanly proportions, he simply says to Megan, "I appreciate the concern" before he walks off in the direction of the bedroom he shares with Kris, leaving Megan to impatiently tap her foot as he disappears into the room and Kris comes up to her.
"Hey," he greets her with a smile. "What's up?"
Megan shakes her head in frustration. "Ugh. You boys are so - so ugh!"
Kris watches her confusedly as she walks away from him and journeys down the stairs before he settles down on the couch. He bites his lip, then cranes his head in the direction of their room. He sees it slightly open, almost like an invitation to talk, before a cold feeling washes over Kris and he looks away.
(Simon's acidic criticisms he can take; the glacial silence between him and Adam, he's not so sure.)
III. It's Like Tryin' to Turn Around On a One-Way Street | 'Not Meant to Be' ; Theory of a Deadman
"Okay, seriously?" Kris is suddenly very afraid for his life as he looks up at Megan, who has decided to stand up, her arms akimbo, expression that of disappointed mixed with near-anger. "You boys are going to drive me insane."
Allison looks up at Megan with confusion in her eyes, and Kris knows he needs to remember to apologize to Allison for inflating this situation out of proportion. "What's going on?"
Megan is ignoring her as she stalks over to Adam and forces him up, taking him by the hand and pulling. "Hey!" he protests, tugging his hand away from her. "Yeah, Megan, what is going on?" Kris doesn't think he's heard Adam's voice or seen Adam's eyes that dangerous before; it sends shivers down his spine, raises goose bumps on his arms.
"Don't you even start with that tone on me, Adam Lambert," she says, voice dropping and ice lacing each word. Kris finds himself involuntarily shivering. She grabs onto his hands and even from this far away, Kris notes the tension between them, Adam's shoulder stiff and Megan's nails digging into his golden leather jacket. Megan drags him over to where Kris is sitting, and before he knows it, Megan's nails are digging into his shirt and he has no choice but to go along with whatever she'd planned. "I'm not cutting you any slack, either, Kris Allen."
She tugs them away from the dining room and toward the base of the spiraling stairs, then up a few steps, before she lets go and descends to its base. One hand on her hip, she points a finger at them and says, "You boys are not coming down from your bedroom, your bathroom, the living room, whatever room you need to lock yourselves in, until you fix this problem."
Kris takes two steps up at a time before he notices that there are no footsteps coming up behind him. He stops and turns around and sees Adam locked in a quiet but fierce exchange of whispers with Megan. He stares at Adam's profile for a moment, appreciating the way the light through the windows above them highlights his jaw line, before Adam seems to have felt his gaze on him and he turns his head up. Kris' breath hitches the moment he locks eyes with the other man and his eyes widen before he spins and runs up the rest of the steps.
He flings the door open and slams it shut, standing in the center of the room and burying his face in his hands. If Megan wants them to stay locked in their room until they've solved this, they might as well never leave the room. It takes him a moment to realize that the door is slowly, tentatively opening, and he takes rapid deep breaths, wringing his hands together as Adam enters the room.
"Hey," Adam says gently, coming toward Kris as though he was walking on eggshells. "We should've stopped by the pantry. We might be here for a while, huh?" The laugh he gives is just as forced, just as fake as the smile he displays.
"Oh - oh, uh, yeah." Kris throws on a halfhearted facsimile of one of his trademark lopsided grins. "I could do with some chocolate right now."
The silence that blankets the room is suffocatingly insufferable. Kris can feel his heartbeat rise, can hear it in his ear he's so nervous, before Adam takes a step forward and he takes a step back. He fails to keep his rapid breathing under control, and -
And now they're frantically kissing, frantic hands roaming, touching touching touching touching there, clothes are frantically shed, they're falling frantically onto the bed sheets. Kris averts his eyes as Adam hovers above him, hands on either side of Kris' head to keep himself from smothering the other man with his weight. Adam's eyes don't quite meet his, either, but the moment the older singer begins to nuzzle his neck, Kris tugs on his hair and Adam looks up at him, and he finds that there really is nowhere else he wants his gaze to settle on.
(He momentarily finds himself a fool for thinking otherwise.)
I. When Everything's Made to be Broken | 'Iris' ; The Goo Goo Dolls
"You know," Adam says as he and Megan settle into one of the empty rooms on the second floor, "I still can't believe you got Michael to play."
Megan giggles as she falls down on one of the beds and rolls around, lying down on her stomach, propping up her elbows and resting her hands on her open palms. She looks up at Adam's incredulous expression complete with a raised eyebrow, and she smiles up at him. "Well, I said please."
"And agreed to let him play God for who knows how long," he answers.
"That, too," she admits. "I had to - it was the only way he'd pair me up with you."
He raises another eyebrow. "Should I be flattered, worried, or trying to run away?"
"Do the third one and you'll never be able to have children." Megan adjusts her position on the bed so that she is sitting up, a leg over the other and dangling daintily over the edge of the bed. "I swear it."
Adam openly laughs now as he sits next to Megan and looks at her out of the corner of his eye. "Do you know who you're talking to, honey?"
She raises a finger and pokes him on his shoulder three times before turning her body a little bit more toward him and pinching both his cheeks. "Do the third one," she says, carefully enunciating each word, "and you will never be able to have hot, raunchy sex. Ever. At all - "
He snorts. "- very tempting -"
"- with Kris."
"What?" Had he been drinking something, he'd have sprayed it all over the carpet; housekeeping would have had his ass in the morning. He stands up and takes a few paces from the bed before he turns around to look at her. He throws his hands up in front of him, "Whoa, slow down there, chickadee, what are you talking about?"
"Don't play coy with me, Lambert," she says, a wide smile smeared across her lips. "I've caught on to your little scheme."
"Scheme?" Adam puts his hands on his hips, frowning. "Enlighten me."
Megan raises an eyebrow at him. "Okay, calling dibs on being roomies? I mean, yeah, he wanted it, too, but really? And the dancing! You've got to be kidding me that the dancing isn't part of anything! The dancing seriously worked though, I mean, he was staring at you shake your hips." She pauses, and then leans back slightly. "Okay, I don't know anyone who can keep their eyes off you when you shake your hips, but that's absolutely beside the point."
She renders him completely and utterly speechless.
"I don't think anyone else has noticed - least of all, him - but c'mon, now, Adam; the longer you stare at his ass when he walks away, people are gonna start to notice."
(Adam realizes he hasn't given Megan's perceptive abilities enough credit.)
V. Lucky I'm In Love With My Best Friend | 'Lucky' ; Jason Mraz + Colbie Caillat
Adam is in the bathroom as Kris enters their bedroom and says, "Hey."
He finishes cleaning his face of the eyeliner and the foundation, washes his face twice, dries, and then turns around and greets Kris with a smile, his head slightly tilted to the side. "Hey yourself," he grins. He notices the forced upturning of the corner of the other singer's lips. "What's up?"
Kris seems to struggle to form a response as he looks away from Adam, bites his lower lip, and begins running his hands over his forearms as though the temperature in the room had fallen. "Uhm," he starts, looking up at Adam before looking away again. He takes a deep breath, and allows his gaze to settle on Adam's confused expression. "I was talking to Katy last night."
"Oh," Adam says. "Oh." He smile turns forced and awkward. "How - how is she?"
"She's - she's good." Kris is nodding, but his wrinkles grace his forehead as he frowns. "Yeah. She's - she's good."
"Good." He can't find much else to say; he's still too focused on controlling the sick feeling in his stomach. "That's - that's good. I'm glad to hear that."
He hates the utter awkwardness that seems to follow them where ever they go. Adam wants to blame Megan with his every fiber in his body but he knows that a majority of it is his fault, that it would be unfair for him to let it all rest on her shoulders. She wasn't the one attracted to him; he was. She wasn't the one who acted on her feelings; he was. She wasn't the one who --
"I talked to her about us. About the other night."
Adam is shocked thoughtless. Was that the reason Kris had been avoiding him all day yesterday? He reels from Kris' confession, eyes wide and mouth open. The feeling in his stomach grows worse, and his head begins to pound incessantly. "You - you told her?" At Kris' feeble nod, he continues, "Then, w - what did she say?"
The shorter singer bites his lip and shakes his head; even in movement, Adam can see that water is beginning to pool in his eyes. He steps forward, hand outstretched and ready to settle on Kris' shoulder before he realizes that physical contact would only worsen their situation. He lets his hand drop back down and takes a step back.
"I - I want me and Katy to work, Adam," he says quietly. "I can't hurt her any more than I've already hurt her." There is a pause, and in the quiet, Adam can hear the sharpness of Kris' breath. "But I - Adam, I can't hurt you, either. I mean, you know, man - you've - you've been there for me since, like, always, you know? And, it's like - anyone from ten miles away can tell that we're close, we're best friends, Adam, and I - I can't do this to you."
"No." Adam is scared at how weak, how vulnerable his own voice seems to be, is surprised as he can feel his own eyes watering. "No, you - you didn't do anything. Kris, I -"
"No, Adam." Kris' voice seems to have gained a little bit more force; he's also quick to wipe away the tears that have begun to fall. "I probably won't be able to get anything out if you say something." Adam wills himself to stay silent. "I can't do this to you, man. I - I start hating myself 'cause I'm hurting her and Adam, I'm hurting you, and I don't know if I can take it. You don't know how guilty I feel 'cause I'm doing this to her, I'm practically dying here 'cause I'm doing this to you - and it flat-out sucks."
Adam watches Kris through blurred vision and five million thoughts run like Usain Bolt on steroids through his head. He wants to say something, anything, everything to possibly lessen the burden of what seems like thirty-seven worlds on Kris' shoulders, but he knows that by opening his mouth, he'd probably make it thirty-eight.
"I mean - I mean, you get me, right?" Adam blinks and wipes away the tears as Kris focuses solely on him. "Right, Adam? You get me, right? You understand, right?"
And, because Kris seems almost desperate for an answer, of course. Of course Adam understands. He knows his place.
(He just never expected knowing his place to feel like one thousand daggers through his heart.)
Title: Five Heartaches
Author: ilytheira
Pairing: Kradam (Kris Allen/Adam Lambert) with a dash of Kris/Katy.
Rating: R
Summary: 'And of course, Adam understands. He knows his place.'
Notes: It's not technically the iTunes fic meme per se since I'm not starting and stopping the same time the song does, but it was inspired by it. I chose five songs and wrote five ficlets inspired by the song a line from the song. This is a follow-up/companion fic to Seven Minutes; it might be helpful to read that one first as certain things I could not fit into that 'fic, I put here (I, II, and III occur during the Seven Minutes timeframe, IV and V are set after it.)
Disclaimer: Neither Kris nor Adam, nor any of the other people featured or any of the songs below, belong to me.
This one gets a little emotional for both boys, folks.
Missed the previous part? Go check out Seven Minutes! :)
IV. Two Steps Removed From Everything I Thought I Knew | 'The Truth' ; David Cook
It takes Kris a few moments more than usual to recover from the afterglow of his third orgasm of the evening. He's adjusted his position by now, is sitting up with his back against the headboard, but he's panting and still gathering his breath. Beside him, Adam's already beginning to fall into a light slumber, body curled into a fetal position, each rise and fall of his chest accompanied by a quiet snore. The image is so sweet, so tender, so unlike the image Adam presents to the rest of the world, that Kris cannot help but smile. In the dim light of the lamp on Adam's night stand, he can make out freckles on the black-haired man's arms, could probably form own constellations on the smooth expanse of his skin, and he believes firmly that this side of Adam - exposed, gentle, vulnerable - might be his favorite.
It takes him another minute or three to fully realize just what he and Adam had done. The black band around the fourth finger of his left hand is suddenly heavy, and the sweat that had made him glow as Adam moved torturously slow above him makes him feel like he's drowning. Slowly, so as not to disturb Adam who, by now, has rolled over onto his stomach and buried his face in his pillow, Kris gets up and tiptoes to the bathroom. The tiled floor is cold underneath his bare feet as he enters, and he shivers involuntarily. He looks around and spies a bathrobe then throws it on, and he has to chuckle at himself as it smells suspiciously of the soap Adam uses.
He looks at himself in the mirror and notices a red spot against his pale skin, resting at the base of his neck; he can still see teeth marks that have yet to begin to fade away. He closes his eyes and lets himself dwell on the memory of only minutes before, minutes before when Adam, naked and so goddamn perfect, eyes bright in the light but darkened by lust, had allowed his teeth to nip at Kris' skin; he figures that if he opened the bathrobe, he'd see the same marks all over his body.
The thought of Adam makes his skin flush, makes heat run through his body three times, making him invincible against the air-conditioning that has chosen this moment to restart the circulation of cold air through the mansion. The image of Adam makes his cock twitch, makes his mouth water, makes his heart beat faster faster faster.
He leans forward, turns the cold water on, and splashes his face twice. He looks up at his reflection, water running down his cheeks in rivulets, before involuntarily, his eyes flicker to the black band on his ring finger.
His heart begins to hurt so much that it brings him near tears; he closes his eyes to prevent the tears but all he succeeds in doing his closing his eyes so hard that his head begins to throb; and there is an unsettling feeling in his stomach that he cannot shake, as though he wants to throw up but can't do so. He blinks repeatedly before allowing his eyes to close gently, and Adam is the first thing he sees: Adam, while they're getting their makeup done backstage, joking with the stylists as they hover above him and worry about his eyes his lips his cheeks his hair; Adam, while they're gathered around in the living room and choosing their songs for the week, lying on the sofa with his shirt riding high enough for him to glimpse skin; Adam, while he's fucking him, slowly slowly too slowly gently gently not rough enough, naked and breathing hard and complete and utter perfection; Adam, while he's -
He makes a fist with his right hand and hits the counter until it turns red and begins to pulsate. He doesn't know what he's done he doesn't know what he's done of course he knows what he's done.
He closes his eyes again, and this time, he doesn't see Adam, he sees Katy: Katy, with her blonde hair up in a ponytail, her eyes bright with a smile, while they're walking in the park hand-in-hand; Katy, while they're cooking in the kitchen with their matching aprons, flour all over her hair and egg whites all over her clothes; Katy, while she's staring down at him from up in the red room while he's singing after Ryan's announced that he's made it to the top 12; Katy, while she's -
Katy while she's hugging him, holding on to him so tightly he thought he'd break, crying and telling him how much she loves him, how much she supports him, how she'll always be there for him, all the way, any way, every way.
He exhales and faces the inevitable.
Kris knows he needs to call her.
(It's probably the only way he'll manage to stay sane.)
II. I'm Warm Enough Because the Tension's Like a Fire | 'Six Feet Under the Stars' ; All Time Low
"You boys seriously need to stop doing this to yourselves."
Adam is more than prepared to tear his hair out as he stands up from the couch then turns around to look down at Megan, who is looking at him with an imploring gaze, eyes wide and bright. "Thank you," he says as calmly as possible, "but Megan, I really don't need this right now."
"Oh, don't give me that crap, Adam," Megan says as she stands up, raising her index finger and prodding Adam in the chest with it. "Don't try to pull that crap with me. Even Allison's starting to pick up on something."
He refuses to give in to her; he shakes his head, "I'm not sure I know what you mean."
"Of course you don't know what I mean." She stares at him, posture exhausted and expression slightly disappointed.
"Stop ignoring Kris, Adam. You're not the only one affected, you know."
(He could have told her that thank you very much, he'd noticed it, too, but then it wouldn't matter anyway.)
Adam spies Kris coming up the stairs out of the corner of his eye, and in a moment of perfect ungentlemanly proportions, he simply says to Megan, "I appreciate the concern" before he walks off in the direction of the bedroom he shares with Kris, leaving Megan to impatiently tap her foot as he disappears into the room and Kris comes up to her.
"Hey," he greets her with a smile. "What's up?"
Megan shakes her head in frustration. "Ugh. You boys are so - so ugh!"
Kris watches her confusedly as she walks away from him and journeys down the stairs before he settles down on the couch. He bites his lip, then cranes his head in the direction of their room. He sees it slightly open, almost like an invitation to talk, before a cold feeling washes over Kris and he looks away.
(Simon's acidic criticisms he can take; the glacial silence between him and Adam, he's not so sure.)
III. It's Like Tryin' to Turn Around On a One-Way Street | 'Not Meant to Be' ; Theory of a Deadman
"Okay, seriously?" Kris is suddenly very afraid for his life as he looks up at Megan, who has decided to stand up, her arms akimbo, expression that of disappointed mixed with near-anger. "You boys are going to drive me insane."
Allison looks up at Megan with confusion in her eyes, and Kris knows he needs to remember to apologize to Allison for inflating this situation out of proportion. "What's going on?"
Megan is ignoring her as she stalks over to Adam and forces him up, taking him by the hand and pulling. "Hey!" he protests, tugging his hand away from her. "Yeah, Megan, what is going on?" Kris doesn't think he's heard Adam's voice or seen Adam's eyes that dangerous before; it sends shivers down his spine, raises goose bumps on his arms.
"Don't you even start with that tone on me, Adam Lambert," she says, voice dropping and ice lacing each word. Kris finds himself involuntarily shivering. She grabs onto his hands and even from this far away, Kris notes the tension between them, Adam's shoulder stiff and Megan's nails digging into his golden leather jacket. Megan drags him over to where Kris is sitting, and before he knows it, Megan's nails are digging into his shirt and he has no choice but to go along with whatever she'd planned. "I'm not cutting you any slack, either, Kris Allen."
She tugs them away from the dining room and toward the base of the spiraling stairs, then up a few steps, before she lets go and descends to its base. One hand on her hip, she points a finger at them and says, "You boys are not coming down from your bedroom, your bathroom, the living room, whatever room you need to lock yourselves in, until you fix this problem."
Kris takes two steps up at a time before he notices that there are no footsteps coming up behind him. He stops and turns around and sees Adam locked in a quiet but fierce exchange of whispers with Megan. He stares at Adam's profile for a moment, appreciating the way the light through the windows above them highlights his jaw line, before Adam seems to have felt his gaze on him and he turns his head up. Kris' breath hitches the moment he locks eyes with the other man and his eyes widen before he spins and runs up the rest of the steps.
He flings the door open and slams it shut, standing in the center of the room and burying his face in his hands. If Megan wants them to stay locked in their room until they've solved this, they might as well never leave the room. It takes him a moment to realize that the door is slowly, tentatively opening, and he takes rapid deep breaths, wringing his hands together as Adam enters the room.
"Hey," Adam says gently, coming toward Kris as though he was walking on eggshells. "We should've stopped by the pantry. We might be here for a while, huh?" The laugh he gives is just as forced, just as fake as the smile he displays.
"Oh - oh, uh, yeah." Kris throws on a halfhearted facsimile of one of his trademark lopsided grins. "I could do with some chocolate right now."
The silence that blankets the room is suffocatingly insufferable. Kris can feel his heartbeat rise, can hear it in his ear he's so nervous, before Adam takes a step forward and he takes a step back. He fails to keep his rapid breathing under control, and -
And now they're frantically kissing, frantic hands roaming, touching touching touching touching there, clothes are frantically shed, they're falling frantically onto the bed sheets. Kris averts his eyes as Adam hovers above him, hands on either side of Kris' head to keep himself from smothering the other man with his weight. Adam's eyes don't quite meet his, either, but the moment the older singer begins to nuzzle his neck, Kris tugs on his hair and Adam looks up at him, and he finds that there really is nowhere else he wants his gaze to settle on.
(He momentarily finds himself a fool for thinking otherwise.)
I. When Everything's Made to be Broken | 'Iris' ; The Goo Goo Dolls
"You know," Adam says as he and Megan settle into one of the empty rooms on the second floor, "I still can't believe you got Michael to play."
Megan giggles as she falls down on one of the beds and rolls around, lying down on her stomach, propping up her elbows and resting her hands on her open palms. She looks up at Adam's incredulous expression complete with a raised eyebrow, and she smiles up at him. "Well, I said please."
"And agreed to let him play God for who knows how long," he answers.
"That, too," she admits. "I had to - it was the only way he'd pair me up with you."
He raises another eyebrow. "Should I be flattered, worried, or trying to run away?"
"Do the third one and you'll never be able to have children." Megan adjusts her position on the bed so that she is sitting up, a leg over the other and dangling daintily over the edge of the bed. "I swear it."
Adam openly laughs now as he sits next to Megan and looks at her out of the corner of his eye. "Do you know who you're talking to, honey?"
She raises a finger and pokes him on his shoulder three times before turning her body a little bit more toward him and pinching both his cheeks. "Do the third one," she says, carefully enunciating each word, "and you will never be able to have hot, raunchy sex. Ever. At all - "
He snorts. "- very tempting -"
"- with Kris."
"What?" Had he been drinking something, he'd have sprayed it all over the carpet; housekeeping would have had his ass in the morning. He stands up and takes a few paces from the bed before he turns around to look at her. He throws his hands up in front of him, "Whoa, slow down there, chickadee, what are you talking about?"
"Don't play coy with me, Lambert," she says, a wide smile smeared across her lips. "I've caught on to your little scheme."
"Scheme?" Adam puts his hands on his hips, frowning. "Enlighten me."
Megan raises an eyebrow at him. "Okay, calling dibs on being roomies? I mean, yeah, he wanted it, too, but really? And the dancing! You've got to be kidding me that the dancing isn't part of anything! The dancing seriously worked though, I mean, he was staring at you shake your hips." She pauses, and then leans back slightly. "Okay, I don't know anyone who can keep their eyes off you when you shake your hips, but that's absolutely beside the point."
She renders him completely and utterly speechless.
"I don't think anyone else has noticed - least of all, him - but c'mon, now, Adam; the longer you stare at his ass when he walks away, people are gonna start to notice."
(Adam realizes he hasn't given Megan's perceptive abilities enough credit.)
V. Lucky I'm In Love With My Best Friend | 'Lucky' ; Jason Mraz + Colbie Caillat
Adam is in the bathroom as Kris enters their bedroom and says, "Hey."
He finishes cleaning his face of the eyeliner and the foundation, washes his face twice, dries, and then turns around and greets Kris with a smile, his head slightly tilted to the side. "Hey yourself," he grins. He notices the forced upturning of the corner of the other singer's lips. "What's up?"
Kris seems to struggle to form a response as he looks away from Adam, bites his lower lip, and begins running his hands over his forearms as though the temperature in the room had fallen. "Uhm," he starts, looking up at Adam before looking away again. He takes a deep breath, and allows his gaze to settle on Adam's confused expression. "I was talking to Katy last night."
"Oh," Adam says. "Oh." He smile turns forced and awkward. "How - how is she?"
"She's - she's good." Kris is nodding, but his wrinkles grace his forehead as he frowns. "Yeah. She's - she's good."
"Good." He can't find much else to say; he's still too focused on controlling the sick feeling in his stomach. "That's - that's good. I'm glad to hear that."
He hates the utter awkwardness that seems to follow them where ever they go. Adam wants to blame Megan with his every fiber in his body but he knows that a majority of it is his fault, that it would be unfair for him to let it all rest on her shoulders. She wasn't the one attracted to him; he was. She wasn't the one who acted on her feelings; he was. She wasn't the one who --
"I talked to her about us. About the other night."
Adam is shocked thoughtless. Was that the reason Kris had been avoiding him all day yesterday? He reels from Kris' confession, eyes wide and mouth open. The feeling in his stomach grows worse, and his head begins to pound incessantly. "You - you told her?" At Kris' feeble nod, he continues, "Then, w - what did she say?"
The shorter singer bites his lip and shakes his head; even in movement, Adam can see that water is beginning to pool in his eyes. He steps forward, hand outstretched and ready to settle on Kris' shoulder before he realizes that physical contact would only worsen their situation. He lets his hand drop back down and takes a step back.
"I - I want me and Katy to work, Adam," he says quietly. "I can't hurt her any more than I've already hurt her." There is a pause, and in the quiet, Adam can hear the sharpness of Kris' breath. "But I - Adam, I can't hurt you, either. I mean, you know, man - you've - you've been there for me since, like, always, you know? And, it's like - anyone from ten miles away can tell that we're close, we're best friends, Adam, and I - I can't do this to you."
"No." Adam is scared at how weak, how vulnerable his own voice seems to be, is surprised as he can feel his own eyes watering. "No, you - you didn't do anything. Kris, I -"
"No, Adam." Kris' voice seems to have gained a little bit more force; he's also quick to wipe away the tears that have begun to fall. "I probably won't be able to get anything out if you say something." Adam wills himself to stay silent. "I can't do this to you, man. I - I start hating myself 'cause I'm hurting her and Adam, I'm hurting you, and I don't know if I can take it. You don't know how guilty I feel 'cause I'm doing this to her, I'm practically dying here 'cause I'm doing this to you - and it flat-out sucks."
Adam watches Kris through blurred vision and five million thoughts run like Usain Bolt on steroids through his head. He wants to say something, anything, everything to possibly lessen the burden of what seems like thirty-seven worlds on Kris' shoulders, but he knows that by opening his mouth, he'd probably make it thirty-eight.
"I mean - I mean, you get me, right?" Adam blinks and wipes away the tears as Kris focuses solely on him. "Right, Adam? You get me, right? You understand, right?"
And, because Kris seems almost desperate for an answer, of course. Of course Adam understands. He knows his place.
(He just never expected knowing his place to feel like one thousand daggers through his heart.)