Sport's Night/Studio 60 Sorkinverse Prelude-Crossover
cross·over (-ō′vər)
noun
the act, means, or place of crossing over from one part or side, to another
Term used when a character or characters from one established universe appears in the universe of another. Used mainly in comic books and television shows.
"I don't understand." Dan Rydell said leafing through the script pages "We do this all the time."
Matt Albie didn't even look up from his powerbook as he said "No you don't."
Casey paused for a moment, looking up from his script "We don't deliver a sport's show every night?"
Danny Trip smiled as he slid his glasses up onto the top of his head "No that you do."
"We host a sport's show every night that is funny." Dan said nodding.
"No it's not." Matt said pausing for a moment as he thought about it "Wait, I heard a story about a turkey falling from the light grid one night." he said looking at the two hosts for this week's Studio 60 "Did that happen?"
Casey shook his head "Not on the air."
Matt nodded and went back to typing "Then I'm right, not funny."
"We're funny all the time." Dan complained.
"What Matt means to say..." Danny started to say.
"...you are funny." Matt interrupted pausing his typing again "I think you're hilarious. I remember that time after Casey did SNL that one time, and we talked at the wrap party?" Dan nodded as he remembered "You were very funny at the party."
"Then what's your point?" Dan asked, his voice growing slightly sharper.
"You're not funny on the air." Matt said going back to typing.
The table chuckled as Casey shook his head at Dan, telling him to drop it.
"I think you guys are very funny." Harriet Hayes said leaning forward.
"You watch the show?" Casey asked.
"She doesn't watch the show." Matt answered for her.
"I do..." she stated and then stopped "I mean I have seen it." she said in a lower voice "A few times."
"She's seen it the few times I've left the TV on CSC after we've had sex." Matt said typing faster.
"I still liked it." she amended smiling at the their two hosts and then looking back at Matt "Liked it better than I liked the sex that came before it."
"Well I'm sure the sex was funnier." Matt said ignoring the barb.
"Can we get back to the show?" Danny said rubbing the bridge of his nose "We have a whole show to do still."
"I think they're funny." Simon Stiles said putting his script down "And I do watch it a little more than just after sex with Matt."
"I like it too." Tom Jeter added.
Simon looked at him "You watch Sport's Night?"
Tom stopped with a confused look on his face "Oh I thought we were talking about sex with Matt."
The table laughed as Danny talked over them "Come on guys this is serious."
"Our read throughs are never like this." Dan said to Casey.
"Well there is a lot less sex going on that's for sure." Casey said under his breath.
"So the cold open..." Danny tried again.
"You guys don't have sex at your read throughs?" Harriet asked ignoring Danny's attempt to begin the meeting.
Dan looked at her "Well we do but we just don't talk about it or keep the lights on."
The laughter was growing as Danny's voice tried again "The cold open..."
Cal Shanley, the shows director chimed in now "You're saying with Dana Whitaker as your exec you guys don't have sex in your table reads?"
"Hey that's my fiancee!" Casey said in mock outrage.
"You're guys aren't gay?" Tom asked spuring even more laughter.
"Guys..." Danny tried yet again.
"No if they were gay I'd hate them more." Harriet said.
"You hate us now?" Dan asked.
"Well maybe if you were funnier..." she said slyly.
"The cold open..." Danny said almost yelling now.
"We need to throw it out." Matt said as he typed.
"What?" Danny exclaimed.
The sound of dozens of pages being ripped out flooded the room as Danny tried to get an answer out of his partner "We are throwing it out why?"
"Cause we aren't funny." Dan said to Casey.
"But we might be gay so at least there will be some sex finally." Casey said pulling the pages out of his own script.
Dan scoffed as he ripped pages himself "Like you're my type."
"Why are we changing the cold open?" Danny asked over the clamor.
"Got something better." Matt said, typing furiously.
"Better than these two interviewing Mike Tyson and Muhammad Ali?" Dan asked.
"Funny voices are funny but this is funnier." he answered.
"So I'm not doing Mike Tyson?" Simon asked.
"Well you could but it might look a but silly in the new open?" Matt answered.
"What's the new open?" Harriet asked.
Matt looked up at her "President Santos is visited in the night by the ghost of President Bartlett, condemning him for not being liberal enough."
"President Bartlett isn't dead." Dan said tossing his pages into the trashcan being passed around.
Matt looked at him "Yeah, if he was dead might kill the funny." looking back to Harriet "Visited in the night by President Bartlett for not being liberal enough and they are interrupted by the ghost of Wire Newman who starts chiding Bartlett for not being liberal enough." he looked back to Dan "He's not dead either by the way." back to Harriet "So Newman and Bartlett start getting into it and Santos interrupts them asking them what the point was."
The table stared at him as the trashcan paused and everyone looked at him. After a few seconds Danny gestured at him "And?"
Matt looked at him and pointed at Harriet "I don't know she asked me a question and I lost my place."
"OK!" Danny said slamming his script down on the table. He jabbed a finger at Matt "You keep writing." one at Harriet "You stop distracting him." another at Simon and Tom "You two stop bugging the hosts." and then to Dan and Casey "And you two..." he paused as he struggled to find something to day "Be funnier." He sighed as he said "Can we just go to the first skit?"
There was silence for a moment and Danny looked up at them staring at him. "What?"
Cal stepped in "We're waiting for you."
Danny actually growled as he banged his head against the table.
Dan edged over to Casey and whispered "You know, this is more like our read throughs than I thought."
Casey chuckled as he nodded.