(Untitled)

[utternutter]

Why am I still awake?  I'm bored of being concious and aware of my own thoughts.  I'm also bored of most other people.  Nearly all conversations I have with anyone these days are superficial and I can't be bothered to respond in anything other than mono-syllables.  People just seem to let me down all the time, probably due to mmy own expectations

Comments

[rosyatrandom]

Well, Nicky, I know who my vote for Most In Need Of A Change Of Scenery 2008 is going to!

Seriously, this is not the situation for you. Time for something different, methinks! If I was in your shoes, I reckon I'd work in some kind of animal shelter or something... but that's me. You - and that means YOU - need to work your own path out. Allowing other people to do it will just lower your self-confidence and make it harder to make that step yourself. Don't let the buggers grind you down.

[altglas]

very true.

do you want to live at your parents'?
do you want a Jewish boyfriend for yourself, as opposed to your parents?
do you want to be with Dave?

hope you find answers soon.

[utternutter]

I hate most animals even more than people! I'd be better off in a garden centre, plants are usually a lot less threatening! I'm not sure this has much to do with my path though. I just don't like people at the moment. I am making my own decisions and my decision is to persue music as a career and an academic subject(my reliable source of happiness, satisfaction and emotional wealth). In order to fund that, I have to live at home, or else there would be no way to afford it. So yes, I suppose part of my life is on hold and endebted to my parents at the moment, but it's the way it has to be for now.

[rosyatrandom]

Well, whatever you do, don't let them emotionally blackmail you

[twinkem]

i majorly agree about the stupidity of comfy feet being not allowed...

silly peopl...

[altglas]

ha, that's also very true.

[pookatimes]

Sorry about not being able to come to your party, but I did explain. We should go and get coffee again soon.

And, try chilling out. Not saying you need to calm down, just rest. Have a day of sleep or something. You're a very active girl and you need to keep your tired feet comfy.

And not all people are bastards either. Just most of them. :p

[utternutter]

I'm not uncalm, unchilled or particularly tired; I'm just anti-social and lonely.

[harmonybunny114]

I hate clubbing (at least in those types of clubs), but I came out for you. That proves that you're wanted by me, at least!

Sorry you didn't have a good time - shows how easily fooled I am, because you were laughing and smiling so much I thought you had a great time! Sorry I didn't pick up on it, I'll try to pay more careful attention to your moods next time.

[utternutter]

Thanks Kathy, it was appreciated and great to see you! I hope the club wasn't too traumatic for you! What kind of clubs do you like? Y0ou are one of my most reliable friends and you do really make an effort, it's great. A lot of people didn't bother to show up at all!

Don't worry about noticing my moods, most of the time I don't really want people to notice. They're usually self-inflicted.

[harmonybunny114]

I don't know what types of clubs I like, I've only been to those types of clubs :) Definitely places where I can where what I want.

Although I've never been, I've always imagined I'd like trance-type music joints, where people are mostly dancing solo rather than in groups (in circles), and people aren't really paying much attention to anything else. Because when I dance I like to fling myself everywhere and really go for it, and I don't like feeling watched. Heh, I don't know, never had a good club experience so I guess I can't know!

When I'm in a mood there's never a satisfactory result - if people notice then I feel guilty for causing a scene, but if no-one notices I feel even worse because it makes me feel very isolated.

[anonymous]

The shoes thing was even more particularly stupid, as I went home and checked their website the next morning, and shoes are not mentioned once on the whole site! The only inkling is that their "dress code" for a Saturday night is "smart and sexy"... Well, what if those two clash, and I find torn rugged clothes sexy? I was also annoyed because I particularly chose to wear trainers so that I didn't fall flat on my face on the way home (due to ice, not drink). I'd slipped so many times recently, I knew it was possible, but hey, clubs don't want us to be safe on our way home, clearly. Either way, I wouldn't worry too much. Simon and I had a lovely evening anyway, and we went and had a drink and laughed at people in fancy dress (because their costumes were funny) in the pub before heading home. We will have to go dancing to cheese another time. (...Fancy a trip to a cheese shop?) And if I was the one who asked about transport last minute, we had sorted out how we were getting home in advance, but thought it would be better and safer

[utternutter]

I'm glad you and Simon had fun anyway. I wasn't really refering to you re. travel arrangements. Btw, I forgot to thank you and Simon for the mug; it's lovely! Really apt, as I used to call Simon Eeyore!

I know the internet isn't the only way to meet a jewish man, but it's the only way I'm likely to. I've tried starting a walking group, but that hasn't worked, I tried joining a choir, but no men get up off their arses to go to it! You're right though, internet dating is so contrived that it's unlikely to work, so I'm ultimately unlikely to meet a jewish guy.

Yes, duets would be fun!

[anonymous]

Hmm, he didn't mention that! (Although I can believe it...)

And my clarinet is fixed and alternative fingerings and things work that never did before (so I now need to get used to using them), so duets shouldn't be quite so painful (to the ear)!

N x