some promises are meant to be broken

i havent felt like this in a long, long time. i honestly cannot remember the last time that suicide raced through my mind. especially so calm, cool, and collected-like ( Read more... )

no outlet. no friends. no boyfriend. no love. no nothing ( Read more... )

and i knew it. i felt it deep down. it was too good to be true. something that wonderful couldnt happen to me. stupid me.

bad mood. to say the least.
for some reason, the comments ive made on rami's myspace are gone.
i havent heard from him in a few days.
boys dont want me. and im tired of it.
i dont feel well either.
i havent felt this overwhelmingly shitty in a long time.
wow.

I'm tired of polos and popped collars. Tired of phases like "oh my god" in a high pitched voice that comes from a fake blonde. Tired of pearls and Coach bags. Tired of egocentric comments in discussion class that make it seem like the American way is the only way. (make that the American Christian way ( Read more... )

insecurities versus intuition. damnit

i miss my 00 days. sometimes I could make size 1's fit. Victoria's Secret was that any piece of clothing size XS would fit. Not that 5/7 is equivalent to an elephant. (and after hearing mike thought I was anorexic first year...maybe it is better than 00). But someone explain to me how boob jobs are so popular...yet they make no clothing for big ( Read more... )

today is the first time in a long time that i felt like my OLD self. the self im not proud of. the emotional-cry-at-anything-and-everything self. and then knowing that, just made me cry harder. for no "real" reason. I, of course, had my triggers ( Read more... )

i discovered yesterday that my mom reads this. she confessed to reading my old one...when I was incredibly ill. and i understood that. but her reading this one is wrong. very wrong.
so im going to stop writing in here.