I am so down...

[uw1m4]

I guess not knowing is better than knowing and be disappointed afterwards.... At least in my case I felt like it was better to not knowing and not been given hope and be let down.... If this is what I think what is going to be, then it would be the second time.... Imagining how I'd felt at that time, should I feel it again? How do I prevent it from happening again and ruin my mood and my willingness to work?

I should have pondered why it happened in the first place. It should have been me and no one else's fault. Not good enough, no achievement what so ever, no innovation, not participating in anything, etc....

Ah... What is this I have been writing??? full of negatives.... but I can't help what I am feeling now  ~_~ ... I am not too fond of me right now...