Title: Connection
Characters: Kurogane, Fai
Summary: During the one shot chapter of xxxHolic after everything is over. SPOILERS.
Word Count: 1,335
Rating: PG-15 - there are sexual references but it's nothing explicit, it's mostly them talking.
Warnings: SPOILERSSSSSSS. I really can't say this enough.
The moonlight fell upon the terrace of the garden where two people sat, quiet and undisturbed. There was a subtle shift of fabric and whispers that were lost to the night air as the two sat in their own world. The words would be inaudible to the other occupants within the house, or rather, shop that Yuuko used to own. Watanuki was the store owner now. Fai’s eyes shifted back towards the screen behind them, separating the rooms from the garden. From the children to them, too.
“They’ve made their choices.” Kurogane stared up at the moon instead of at his companion, eyes narrowed in thought. “Things have already been set into place, so they can’t change it even if we wanted them to.”
“I know.” Fai leaned back on one hand as he swirled the glass in his hand around, watching the sake swish. “It doesn’t make it any less painful for them, does it?”
“It wouldn’t be a sacrifice if it wasn’t painful.” Fai’s eyes drifted to Kurogane’s mechanical arm at the other man’s comment, smiling wistfully, despite the topic. It clenched for a moment, as if to say they were both thinking of the same thing.
“I suppose it wouldn’t, ne, Kuro-sama?”
“Heh.”
“Though…” Fai’s eyes slid towards the screen doors, lidding a little. “They’re all strong, aren’t they?” His shoulder dipped, letting the yukata he’d borrowed from the store room slide down his skin. The moonlight shined on the skin there, making it glow. “Those children.”
“Hn.”
A small laugh bubbled up out of Fai’s throat as he tipped his head back, taking a sip of the sake from his glass. “Watanuki-kun though…” a small frown followed, as Fai carried on, “his decision is going to last longer than even either of our life spans.”
“It was his choice.”
“Will Yuuko-san even come back though?” Fai’s fingertip pressed against the rim of the glass, just touching it. “Will his wish to see her again…”
“Who knows?” There was a clank as glass and wood connected as Kurogane put his own glass down on the terrace. “In the end, all we can do is watch.”
“And wait.” Fai finished off for him with a small sigh. He leaned up again and took another sip, letting the sake burn his throat. Slender fingers traced the edges of the glass as he placed it beside Kurogane’s, mismatched eyes staring at him before a small, sad smile fell upon his lips. “It’s going to be painful still, isn’t it?”
“It was from the start.” Kurogane shrugged. “Just make it easier for them.”
“Give them a purpose to continue to live…?” Fai actually smiled at that, letting it broaden when he caught the tell-tale signs of Kurogane’s own mouth twitching at the implications.
“Of course.”
“Ah~ Kuro-rin really does care~” Fai teased, laughing when Kurogane’s head lowered and a look of anger flashed there for a moment.
“You already knew that I…”
“Aha~” Fai reached out to press a finger against the taller man’s cheek, prodding gently. “You’ll wake the children.”
A hand wrapped around his wrist, holding it gently. “They’re at the other side of the building.” There was no expression to Kurogane’s face though, as he pointed that out, before his lips twitched again. “But you already knew that.”
“I suppose I did, hmm?” Fai’s voice was quieter now, even if it didn’t need to be. His hand twisted in the hold until the grip on his wrist was lifted a little, enough so he could slide their hands together, quietly, gently and to just enjoy the moment. In fact, his head tipped a little as he leaned closer, letting himself rest against Kurogane’s shoulder. Kurogane’s hand squeezed tight for a moment, reassuringly, before it fell slack, just letting fingers keep the connection as their palms parted slightly. It was enough.
“You know you did.” Kurogane’s voice deepened; grew a little gruffer as he let his body unwind.
“Do you ever think about it?” Fai’s eyes shut, listening to a bird nearby as he waited his answer.
“About what?” Kurogane craned his neck a little, trying to look at Fai. The blonde had his head tipped out of sight, letting hair fall in the way to hide his expression.
“Home?”
“The princess?” A squeeze of fingertips was his answer, so Kurogane just made a soft ‘heh’ noise for a moment. “All the time.” He pulled Fai’s hand up then, holding it against his mouth, but not quite kissing the skin. “But I always did, why?”
A blue eye met crimson for a moment, before it blinked shut. “Just curious, really.” The smile this time wasn’t completely genuine though, something that Kurogane picked up on instantly.
“What is it, idiot?”
“Aha~ I should have known Kuro-pon would notice.” There was a tilde to his voice that didn’t match his facial expression. While they didn’t match perfectly, there was a sort of similarity. “I…” Fai sighed then, eyes sliding between them, towards the door, when he pulled back from Kurogane’s shoulder. “Was just wondering, if next time you’ll be staying there?” He made a move to pull his hand away, but in retaliation Kurogane gripped it tighter, used it to pull him closer.
“Tch, idiot.” A mechanical arm slid up around Fai’s shoulders, keeping him stuck twisted in place. The mage’s eyes were a little wider too, caught off guard. “I already said I’d travel, didn’t I?” At least that made Fai’s eyes shut gently, made him slump into the other a little as well. “I’m not just going to take off without notice.” Kurogane’s eyes slid to the door as the fingers of his new arm shifted up, reaching for the tie holding Fai’s hair in place to tug it gently. Golden locks tumbled out instantly, falling into place over skin and yukata. The ninja couldn’t actually feel it though, not with that hand, at least.
“You miss her t-” Fai cut himself off when Kurogane let go of his hand to reach for his face, touching skin as he cupped his jaw.
“Always have done as well, doesn’t change anything.” Kurogane’s voice dipped again, becoming rougher yet quieter. “So you don’t need to ask anymore.” He shut his eyes as his hand moved, replacing the other one in soft hair. His fingertips threaded through the ends before he twisted them in his palm, holding it.
“It takes some getting used to, ne?” Fai laughed, even if the subject made it out of place. “All of this.”
“Of course it does.” Kurogane was rather tempted to roll his eyes at that, but instead he just stared back at Fai, letting their eyes lock. “You said it yourself; it’s all going to be painful.” He paused. “Still want to run away?”
Fai didn’t avert his eyes now though; instead he just stared back, not breaking contact. “I won’t do that anymore, remember?” The smile that Fai gave him then wasn’t bright, wasn’t wide and happy, it was small and genuine; the most beautiful of all his smiles in Kurogane’s opinion.
“Just checking.” The lead up to the kiss that followed was slow. Kurogane leaned down, not shutting his eyes in the slightest until their mouths touched. There was nothing frantic, nothing rushed about it, only a touch. Fai’s hands curled into fists against the terrace floor, nails scraping wood as they shifted.
And Kurogane… just held him.
Held him when the first connection was made, held him as their lips brushed gently. He held him as slowly and sensually his tongue slid against the inside of Fai’s mouth. He held him as their bodies, their essence, their souls was made into one on the floor of the terrace. He held him in the aftermath, close and tight, underneath the moonlight. They would have to leave again soon on another journey to another world so Syaoran could keep moving forward, but for the moment… they could just enjoy each other in the place and time, that was now.