Bones Redux Chapter 2 - The Man in the Outhouse

[va32h]

A/N: Forgot to mention, Angela and Hodgins aren't breaking up in this version. And Sweets and Daisy aren't dating. Because I said so, that's why.

Previous chapter here.


"It's a rational decision."

"Rational," Angela said, raising her eyebrow. "You're sleeping with Booth because it's rational."

The two women were having lunch  in Brennan's office. After they talked about the current case, Angela's new shoes, and whether the rescheduled Hodgins/Montenegro wedding should take place in DC or on one of the Hodgins' private islands, Brennan had ever-so-casual mentioned that she'd recently begun sleeping with Booth. When Angela regained consciousness, Brennan explained that it was indeed a rational decision.

"We both work long hours and have little time to engage in traditional dating rituals, we enjoy each other's company, usually. And..." Brennan's mouth quirked up in a small smile. "We are quite compatible, sexually speaking."

"Yeah, let's focus on that." Angela leaned forward and pointed her fork at Brennan. "Let's focus very, very closely on that."

Brennan blushed. "I - I can't."

"Since when? Bren, we always share the details. Always."

"Booth is very private about sex."

"So I won't talk to him about it. That doesn't mean you can't spill the beans."

Brennan frowned at the burrito on her plate. "I didn't spill anything."

"Oh don't even try that."

"Angela, I can't. Really. It would upset him."

Angela was undaunted. "How about if I ask a series of yes/no questions. You don't have to say a word, just nod or shake. Deal?"

Brennan considered for a moment, then nodded.

"Excellent!" Angela rubbed her hands together with glee. "Okay...is he a talker?'

Brennan nodded.

"A dirty talker?"

Just then, Cam entered Brennan's office, and Angela howled in disappointment.

"That's an...unusual greeting," said Cam,giving Angela a look. "Dr. Brennan, we have to talk about Daisy Wick."

"Who?"

"The intern whose name you don't want to know. Her name is Daisy Wick, and I'm very, very close to strangling her."

"That would be unwise, particulary since you declared your intent to do so in front of witnesses."

Cam threw up her hands in frustration. "Just do something about her."

Brennan stood up and, ignoring Angela's protests, followed Cam out of her office.

"We are finishing this conversation!" Angela called after them.

* * *

It had only been a few days since Zack's departure from the lab but in that short time, Brennan had gone through a half dozen interns. Some of them didn't even make it to lunch. Booth heard all about their shortcomings over dinner, breakfast, and sometimes in the hours between.

That they spent the hours between together was still a secret. Well, not exactly a secret, Booth said, they were just being discreet.

"Like you and Cam were discreet," said Brennan.

"Could we not talk about Cam at times like this?"

(Times like this being when they were naked in bed.)

"I already told Angela."

"Great. Great. We might as well have rented a billboard."

Brennan made a face. "She won't tell anyone except Hodgins."

They were in Brennan's apartment where they'd spent the night. Booth didn't like staying at her place - the lack of TV was a serious problem that needed to be addressed posthaste - but last night it had been the closer apartment. They'd been eating out, some Indian restaurant that Bones liked, and after the second bottle of wine was empty, she'd put her hand on Booth's knee and whispered into his ear and at times like that, proximity mattered far more than television.

Booth propped his head up on one hand and continued. "The main thing is, I don't want Sweets to find out."

"Why?"

"Why? Because he's a nosy little kid, that's why!"

Brennan shifted under the covers. "Do you think he will suggest severing our professional partnership?"

"Yeah, that too!"

"Our mandatory evaluation period is over," Brennan acknowledged. "But we did agree to help with his book."

"So we changed our minds."

She frowned. "I once traveled with the Kalmuks - "

"What is that a band?"

"Eurasian nomads. They'd agreed to let me stay with them for six months, but after just three months, I was asked to leave--"

"I can't imagine why."

"And it was very detrimental to my research. I can't do that to Dr. Sweets, no matter how pointless and insignificant I consider his field."

Booth collapsed onto the pillows with a sigh. "Fine. Fine. But we're not telling him. He'll say --"

A knock at the door interrupted him.

"You expecting anyone?"

Brennan frowned. "No."

"I'll get it."

"It's my apartment."

"A strange guy knocking on the door, first thing in the morning...it's not safe." Booth was already out of bed fumbling for his pants.

"You don't know the knocker is male much less strange, and might I point out - YOU frequently knock on my door first thing in the morning."

"Exactly! And I'm here already, so who's this yahoo?"

Brennan found her robe well before Booth found his pants and beat him easily to the door. She was both surprised and embarrassed to greet the man on the other side.

"Temperance!"

"Mark!"

"I know it's early, but you always did get up early I thought we could grab some breakfast...." Mark's voice trailed off as he spotted Booth who had finally found the elusive pants and made it out to the living room.

"Mark," said Brennan, as she tied her robe more firmly around her waist, "this is Seeley Booth. Booth, this is Mark Gaffney, who--"

"Should have called first," finished Mark. He gave Booth a tight smile. "Maybe I'll call you later, Temperance?"

"Ah---" Brennan looked back and forth between the two men. "No? No. You shouldn't."

"Are you sure?"

"You heard the lady!" Booth took a step towards the door.

Mark mumbled an apology and a goodbye and Brennan closed the door behind him then tried to dash past Booth. He caught her easily.

"Hold up there."

"I need to shower."

"The shower isn't going anywhere. Who was that?"

"I introduced you."

"Who was that?"

"He's a deep sea diver."

"That's fascinating."

"It really is."

"I'm being sarcastic. Who is that guy to you?"

Brennan folded her arms. "We had a sexual relationship. For which I am not going to apologize."

"I'm not asking you to."

"Fine."

"Good."

"I'm taking a shower now."

"Fine."

Brennan waited until she was at her bedroom threshold before throwing back the last word. "Good!"

While Brennan was in the shower, Booth received a call from Cam - a trucker found a dead body stuffed into an outhouse. Crap everywhere. It seemed a fitting addition to the morning. On their way to the crime scene, Booth couldn't resist bringing up Mark again.

"So when did you last see Mark?"

"Several months ago." Brennan glared at him. "I don't question you about your previous lovers."

"One, they are girlfriends, and two...." Booth squeezed the steering wheel. There was no two. "I just think there are certain things you should only do with one person at a time."

"You mean sex."

He sighed. "Yes."

"I am not going to have sex with Mark. I also prefer to engage in one sexual relationship at a time."

"Are there any non-sexual relationships you're having with other men that I should know about?"

He said it to be sarcastic. He nearly crashed the SUV when she said yes.

"His name is Jason DeFry. We're going to a gallery opening."

"When!?!?!"

"This weekend. He asked me over  a month ago."

"So cancel!"

"Why? I have no sexual interest in Jason."

"Does he know that?"

"Does it matter?"

"Hell yes it matters!" Booth slammed on the brakes. (Fortunately, they had reached the crime scene.) "Bones, you cannot go on a date with some other guy this weekend."

"I need to see the remains. We'll discuss this later."

* * *

Later happened in fits and start as they worked the case. The victim was a sleazy talk show host who exposed cheating spouses and Booth took every opportunity to stress the importance of trust and honesty. And Brennan replied each time that she had been honest with Booth and that the ought to trust her. And that they were hardly spouses.

She was right, Booth knew it even as he sulked and pouted. They had not defined their relationship as exclusive, hell, they hadn't even defined it as a relationship. The weekend came and Brennan went to her gallery opening while Booth watched one "been caught cheating" video after another. That alone would have made him miserable; having to watch the videos with Sweets made the evening unbearable. When the videos provided a viable suspect, Booth suggested they fill Brennan in on the case.

"What, now?" asked Sweets.

"Of course now. Bones is very committed to her work."

Sweets wondered how Booth knew exactly where to find Brennan, but he didn't ask. When they arrived at the gallery, the situation - as befitting the case - went to shit. Brennan was furious, Booth was unapologetic, Jason DeFry was confused. It quickly became apparent that Jason had no idea Brennan considered him mere intellectual stimulation. He made a highly inappropriate comment regarding Brennan's reputation and Booth promptly challenged him to a duel. Mindful of the crowd gathering around them, Sweets began to applaud enthusiastically and explained to the bewildered bystanders that it was all a piece of brilliant performance art.

"You're welcome," Sweets said, as he and Booth drove back to the Hoover.

"Excuse me?"

"I got you out of a jam back there."

"There was no jam."

"Would you like to talk about your feelings of jealousy?"

"No, because I have no feelings of jealousy."

Booth refused to speak about it further.  Brennan wasn't speaking either, but in her case, she was only not speaking to Booth. She was also not letting him in her apartment or returning his calls. After two days of that, Booth was very nearly out of his mind. Noel Lifton, who was stalking their primary suspect, Jim Dodd, offered to stalk Brennan too, just to see what she was up to.

"I won't even charge you!"

When Booth found himself seriously considering Noel's offer, he knew it was time to re-evaluate his thinking.  They wrapped up the case - with Brennan still not speaking to him unless it was necessary - then had an evening session with Sweets.

"Sooooo," said Sweets, eyeing them both. "What should we talk about?"

Booth swallowed (both literally and his pride) and spoke first. "I think...I owe Bones an apology."

"Oh? Dr. Brennan, how do you feel about that?"

"I agree. He does owe me an apology."

Booth sighed. "I shouldn't have interrupted that thing you were at this weekend."

"You mean Dr. Brennan's date," clarified Sweets.

"It wasn't a date!" Booth insisted.

"It wasn't a date to me," Brennan said. "But clearly it was to Jason and that ...misunderstanding contributed to the unpleasant situation that took place at the gallery."

"So what you're saying is....this was partly your fault," said Booth.

"No, it's still your fault." Her voice softened. "But in the future, I will make it clear to any potential companions that my interest in them is purely intellectual."

"Why should that matter--" Sweets started to ask.

"You want to get some dinner? Let's get dinner." Booth stood up quickly.

"Wait," Sweets persisted. "Why did Dr. Brennan say--"

"I have coupons, okay? And they're going to expire tonight so we really have to go."

"You're going to apologize to me with a discount dinner?" Brennan stood as well and picked up her coat. "That hardly seems sufficient."

Booth waited until they were out of Sweets' office to inform Brennan that he had all sorts of ways to apologize in mind.