Terra Nova - Things Lost in the Fire ch7 [Skye/Lucas]
Title: Things Lost in the Fire
Fandom: Terra Nova
Ship: Skye/Lucas
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: bad language, sexual situations, AU
Chapter: 7/?
Summary: Pre-Series. AU story. Skye meets a strange man at Snakehead Falls and ends up falling in love. But can happiness built on anonymity last, when the world around them is on fire?
Author's Note: This was so hard to write. But alas, it had to be done.
Things Lost in the Fire
7. Lessons learned
Everything made sense again suddenly: Her reluctance to touch him, her shifty glances, and her strained body language. Lucas actually felt relief; it was a crazy rush across his body. He smirked, thinking it was alright. She knew who he was, what she was to him: Their special bond, how she was the chosen child of his father, the one meant to replace him.
"I didn't think he'd leave anything to find," he told her, knowing how his father had sought to bury his disappointments in life. After all, they had never talked about his mother, not since her death, not unless it'd been Lucas arguing, demanding to be heard. Nathaniel had always shut him down, attempting to control Ayani's memory, to keep it from hurting him.
And Lucas had had to scream to be heard, to drift to paths his father would not accept to get his answers, the attention he craved for - All because Nathaniel Taylor was weak underneath, unable to confront his own mistakes, to accept the responsibility of his own decisions. So he'd made a void where his wife had once been, a black hole that sucked the light around it.
There were no photographs of his mother, at least none that Lucas knew about. His father hadn't worn his wedding ring for years now; he'd destroy the little property she had. And because she had been buried with an empty coffin, there had been no place for Lucas to talk to her either.
Lucas had honestly thought that his father would've erased the computers and never mentioned him or their blissful family hell to anyone. He'd seen it once, and he knew his father didn't love him like he had loved his mother, so it would've been easier to erase the disappointment. Yet somehow Skye had dug up the hints, followed them down the rabbit hole, and found him.
His green eyes poured into her, alive and full of emotion. She didn't look so fragile anymore, not with that fire in her. She was pissed off and perhaps with good reason. Lucas didn't know how much she knew about her foster family, but he assumed they'd told her very little, perhaps just a crude list of his sins.
"Look at me, Bucket," he asked, trading tension for kindness. He realized she'd shifted her eyes from him again. He sought for that contact, aware of how difficult it was for her to lie to him when she couldn't trick him with intimacy.
Skye complied with his request slowly, an eerie calmness existing between them. It was a charade that was waiting for an ending. "Do you think I have his eyes?" he asked, brutally honest. She could tell he wanted her to say no, could read it in the way he surveyed her. It was a test she almost wanted to fail.
She reared her head at him, uncomfortable in her position. "It changes everything Lucas," she told him with a grave voice, barely recognizing it herself.
Angered by her answer, or the lack of a proper one, he grabbed her forearms, holding her still a bit too tight, as he spoke to her. "Not what you feel! Not that," he told her, barely containing himself. His fingers dug into her skin, his barbed words into her mind.
She knew now what Washington had meant when she had described Lucas to her. There was a duality in him: kindness and sensitivity that was lost under his quickly flaring temper and inability to understand others.
Skye rolled her shoulders violently, breaking free from his grasp. "And that's all that matters to you?" she questioned with a vulnerable voice, throwing her hands in frustration. "Everything else can go to shit as long as you're good?"
Lucas tried to hold still, to reach her, to reassure her, but with every breath, with every sentence, she just ended up twisting his every effort. "I don't have the luxury of empathy," he muttered at her, barely hiding his disgust.
He understood it now, the meaning of it all. She'd come to him like a siren, rekindling his hopes, talking her way to his heart. And now she was rejecting him, his dreams for them. She was rejecting him for Terra Nova, for his murdering son of a bitch father.
"Don't talk about it like its some luxury!" she yelled back at him, her rage igniting for good now. "You really expect me to help you in mass murder! In some crazy fantasy of getting back at your father?" Skye shook her head without understanding, everything felt wrong.
"No!" Lucas objected, raising his finger at her, the muscles in his arm tensing dangerously. His face was void from love, from compassion.
"Make no mistake, Skye, I will kill him, because that is all he deserves." His voice thundered with authority and pain.
"What did he do to you to make you hate him so much?" she asked, unable to grasp how anyone could hate their own father. To her a father was something precious, something important. She'd never feel as safe as she had in her father's arms. To her the mere thought of hating her father would be worse than death.
An almost sadistic expression spread across Lucas' face. He took pleasure from telling her, from driving a wedge between her and his father. "He killed my mother."
Skye actually fumbled backwards a bit as if in shock from his revelation. Disbelief was all over her face. She shook her head, refusing to believe it. "You're lying," she claimed attempting to convince her rather than him. Somehow she knew he believed in his own words though, it was in the way Lucas stood quietly and observed her breakdown with sadness.
"It's alright," he said, his anger subsiding for a moment, "He's been like a father to you, but I have to set it straight. I care for you too much." Lucas wanted to pull her close, muse into her ear, comfort her as she experienced the same overwhelming loss he had faced alone over a decade ago. He didn't though, he saw the warning in her eyes when he was about to move.
"I don't care," she claimed, numbness spreading into her. "You'll have to find another way to get back at him. I won't let you open that portal."
There it was again - that silent voice inside. He hadn't missed it one bit. It was cruel, unforgiving. It nagged at his self-control, yearning to be released. The woman he loved stood before him defiantly, openly admitting to betraying his trust. The blinding rage should've come by now, but it was a shadow of its usual self. He suspected it was because of her. Of course it wasn't completely removed, but less potent anyway.
"I asked you to do a simple thing," Lucas said, trying to clear his thoughts, "A small favor to ensure our future together."
How could he talk so softly even as his voice was harsh and heartbreaking?
"And you did it, you succeeded brilliantly, like I wanted you to," he admired her for a second, desire touching him deep inside.
"But then you chose to fuck it up. You chose to let me down. How can you do that to someone you supposedly love?" He lectured to her with a distant tone, as he already sought to rise above the petty emotions that messed everything up. And he questioned her; he questioned everything she'd told him.
"It's quite easy Lucas," she responded with spite, not backing down with this. "You're no better than Mira. You're just too messed up to realize it."
He recoiled as if she'd slapped him across his face. Skye's open hostility was everything he hadn't expected. He'd wanted to expose his father, tell her the truth for once. But instead she was attacking him, ignoring his words and intentions. "You think I'm crazy?" he asked her.
She jumped in fright next, as his arm flew across the air, sweeping the table clean from the equipment placed on it. There was a crack and some rattle with broken pieces of equipment tumbling on the floor, followed by an unnerving silence. Her eyes snapped right back at him, outraged by this display of his. Lucas stared back, pleased by her reaction, knowing he had her full attention.
"I'll tell him everything: about us, about the portal. I don't care anymore. Let him hate me, let them all hate me," Skye threatened calmly, hoping for a reaction, something to justify her cruelty.
He just chuckled at her, his malicious laughter vibrating across his body. Lucas bit his lip gently, ran his tongue over his lips. "Do you think our father will forgive you, little sister?" he asked her next.
It really threw her overboard, yanked her chain. "I'm not your fucking sister!" she shouted, rejecting the thought with both her body and soul.
He didn't feel offended by it though, how could he? She was acting like a child in tantrum, overcome by emotions. It was no wonder he could not open her eyes to his father's lies, they had dug deep into her, refusing to let go.
Everything was falling apart. The love she'd cherished, the empowerment of feeling like you belonged to some, body and soul - it was slipping away. Every minute, every new attack in this argument gave her less reason to stay and risk her future here. Her mother had begged her to go despite knowing it would mean death to her. Lucas was begging her to destroy lives, knowing it meant the loss of Skye's innocence or what little was left of it - And all for what? - Revenge.
"Fine," he said softly, "You're not my sister. Now tell me how will your Commander receive you once he knows what you've done? Will he welcome you with open arms? Will he listen to your pleas?"
Skye crossed her arms over her chest defiantly, as he ranted on losing himself in the emotional avalanche that was building inside.
"No! He will cast you out and leave you to die. Then he will erase you until you're nothing but an empty profile in a computer, a ghost in the machine," he then finished, his eyes swelling with tears. She saw his scars so clearly now, his pain reached a part of her that didn't want to let go.
His trademark grin returned with a hint of madness. He chuckled, pleading to her, "Is that really who you want to choose in all of this?"
He didn't succeed in showing her how wicked his father was. All she saw were two evils of which only one supported her morals. If she'd throw herself into his fire, she'd burn until there was nothing left of her. And she didn't believe he could love her either after that. You don't destroy what you love; you change it for the better.
She could tell he was going to leave a scar, but she didn't mind. She'd live through it somehow.
"You were right," she acknowledged sadly, "It doesn't change the way I feel about you."
Skye stepped closer to him, claiming his lips with hers. It was bittersweet, a kiss goodbye. Lucas stood by passively, accepting her affection, yet he did not participate himself. There was no passion in her kiss, her lips trembled against him. He felt strangely numb, already anticipating her next move, as she pulled away.
"But it changes everything else. I'm done Lucas. I'm going back and I won't help you anymore," she then finished, speaking the hard truths in her heart with strange ease.
She expected him to grab her, keep her still, refuse to let her go, but he watched her walk away calmly with contempt.
"You'll be back," he told her, rejecting everything she'd just said. He knew she'd be back for her mother, for him. She'd see the error of her ways, realize how the grief of his absence hurt like hell, and she'd come back to him - he just knew it.
So he made no effort to stop her, he just stood there, feeling like he'd won somehow. A sad delusion that would crumble only after she'd left.
-
Skye couldn't walk away fast enough. She didn't stop for anything, not even a glimpse at her mother. She treated this escape like tearing off a band-aid - do it quickly and it would hurt less. It didn't stop her eyes from being clouded by tears, or her strength faltering as she ran through the woods. She grasped onto a weapon, searched for danger, ending up running until her lungs were screaming for her to stop.
And she stopped, kicking and screaming at the nearest tree, her outburst unlike ever before. She'd never felt this weak and powerless, never so helpless. Caught panting and cursing until her heartbeat became steady again, she stood there, pain pulsating through-out her body. Running was the easy thing to do, whereas staying would've required her to be strong, she recognized this. Yet the window of opportunity was closing, she needed to get going while she still could, and she'd chosen to go for it.
Finding a spark of hope within her, she set off running again, this time with a more bearable pace. Her legs carried her towards the future, towards Terra Nova. Maybe she had a genuine shot of reinventing herself? Maybe she could live for herself for once?
Back at the camp Lucas came to slowly realize she wasn't coming back. He rested his hand on the table, drumming its surface impatiently, going through everything she'd said. He didn't fully grasp where they'd gone wrong, but he knew he'd lost her. And once that thought became dominant the fear kicked him into motion. He rushed outside, whistling for assistance. A few of his foot soldiers immediately caught the whistle from the ground, turning to him like flowers turned to the sun.
Lucas leaned over the rail, pointing in the general direction of Terra Nova. "The girl left by foot, go get her back," he told them, watching as they set in motion immediately, following his command. Lucas squeezed the rail under his hands, feeling how unyielding the wood was. He suppressed the impulses that demanded him to chase her himself. She couldn't have gotten far.
Regret licked his skin like a flame, that voice deep inside telling him she didn't love him. Lucas ignored it; still certain that he did love her and not even this would stop that. The roots were too strong, they grasped his heart, unwilling to let go. He would find her.
-
Skye ran, thick sweat falling down her neck, clinging onto her back. The sweat made her skin itch, resembling the worst kind of rash. She felt uncomfortable, but the years of spying had taught her to ignore those feelings, push them to the back of her head. Time was elusive but she was certain she'd been going at least a half an hour. Her water was almost out, despite her attempts to ration it. The heat was scorching, her only salvation being the shadow of the trees.
The distance seemed almost impossible to cross by foot, to make it in time. She didn't give up though, didn't let her weakness get in the way. Hunger was making her feel dizzy, her steps stumbled. A headache emerged; the heat wearied her down more and more. Even nature seemed to go against her, the terrain attempting to slow her advance as much as possible.
She reached the top of a hill, realizing she needed to descend the rocky slope down. Again she scanned for signs of predators and wildlife, finding nothing. This she really seemed to have the devil's luck on her side. So Skye took one step down, steady in her descent. Her first steps were slow, careful, but she quickened the paste, realizing how time was of the essence. Her heart was beating wildly again. It drowned the noises of the jungle beneath it, yet she also had the strangest feeling of being watched.
Then she caught a glimpse of something from the corner of her eye, something moving ahead. It made her choose her steps unwisely, land straight into a spot where the ground was loose. It shifted beneath her weight, making her lose her balance in an instant as her tired legs couldn't find a footing. Skye fell with a thump, rolling down the hill a bit. She fell off a small cliff, shielding her head with her hands. The impact with the ground knocked the air from her lugs, reintroduced her to physical pain. It was somewhat easy to take in contrast with heartache.
She lied still for a moment, the world spinning around her. There was noise in the distance; she pushed herself up with her scraped hands to see what it was. The stones beneath her hands prickled, her body felt unable to co-operative, yet she managed to get up. A vehicle was approaching. Not knowing what to do, she froze in the headlights, shielding her eyes with her hands.
The rover stopped in front of her wavering figure, soldiers stepping out. They moved quickly, she had trouble keeping her eyes focused. Their faces felt like a blur, none of them looking familiar. Her brain told her they weren't Sixers though, and sadly she realized she almost wished they had been.
"Skye Tate, you're under arrest for treason," one of them told her, while another circled around her, pushing her onwards. He bent her over the hood of the vehicle, pulling her arms behind her back and locking her wrists in the steel embrace of a pair of handcuffs. She didn't resist.
"We're taking you back to Terra Nova. The Commander will know what to do with you," that same voice preached, the disdain its owner had for her quite clear. She got pulled up and dragged to the backseat like lifeless doll. She followed them without objections. Her sense told her it was over, so what use was resisting now?
The two figures who'd been tracing her in the distance observed as the vehicle drove off with her. They sensed trouble, but headed back with the news anyway. Their leader would not be happy.
They didn't speak on the drive back to Terra Nova. Not one of the soldiers in the vehicle said a word, yet their aggression towards her hung in the air like a deadly cloud. Skye's disorientation faded eventually, leaving her fully aware of everything that went around her, despite the initial haze of her fall and the shock.
She'd been too late after all; someone had noticed her absence, let Taylor know and he'd connected the dots finally. Maybe he'd even searched her room and found the hard drive. In retrospect her decision to leave it behind, especially in such a ridiculous hiding place, was foolish. She'd threatened to expose Lucas, but hadn't really meant to give his research to his father. It felt wrong. Like betraying a secret or a diary - the cold numbers had the same meaning to him, they were extremely personal. They weren't meant for anyone else's eyes.
The cuffs cut into her skin as the uneven road bounced the vehicle and her along with it. She didn't have any energy to complain and saw no use, since they wouldn't listen to her anyway. She'd seen what everyone thought of Curran, the slander he got behind his back. Skye might've not been a murderer, yet her crime was worse. She didn't know if she had any other option than exile now.
She contemplated what the Commander would do to her - his own foster daughter - now that he knew. Was there mercy in his heart, or was he just as frozen inside as Lucas had told her? For a second she wondered if he'd actually told her the truth, if the man she loved and respected like a father had really killed his wife. Could it be that Lucas' rage was justified? Could it be that the scars in him weren't self-inflicted, that he needed someone to untangle him?
Her thoughts circled around him again almost possessively - that's how she knew he couldn't make her hate him. She'd left him behind because she couldn't support him. It had been the adult thing to do, yet it didn't lessen the crazy faith she had in him. That feeling wasn't explainable by logic; it wasn't based on actions or words.
Terra Nova appeared into view in the front window, appearing majestic in the horizon. They drove through the long open field, and she could feel the soldiers tense in anticipation. They would be commended for catching her, probably get free drinks at the bar and a pat on the back. Good men with values, good soldiers following orders. And what was she? - Just a lost little girl in an impossible situation. She didn't think even Lucas could solve that equation.
They drove through the gate, slowing down at first and then stopping altogether. Hands grabbed her almost violently, pulling her out from her forearm. She felt like a ragdoll being hauled from one place to another. She staggered once she was pulled on her feet, felt the overwhelming stares all around her as the crowd watched how she was dragged around bloodied and bruised like she'd actually put up a fight. Skye steeled herself, escaped into his arms as he'd held her during their reunion, his love so comforting and beautiful.
Her eyes searched the crowd for familiar faces, finding some staring back at her in shock, anger and anguish. No one connected with her though; everyone looked right through her, seeing only the spy, who had endangered them all. She would have to learn to accept this role now. It was her part in this play, like Eve falling victim to temptation, to sin. And their leader would condemn her accordingly.
Someone was radioing in the distance, while Skye was being led towards descending stairs. She knew they led to the brig. She pressed her head when they begun descending the stairs, the door opening in front of them. And despite her impulse to look at the crowd one more time, she didn't.
It was cool in the brig; she could feel the change in temperature send shivers across her body. Sweat had licked her moist, helping the cold to spread. The farthest cell door was open, a man holding it for her. It took an extended moment to recognize Tasha's father, Guzman, yet the connection brought no joy to her. A familiar face wasn't what wanted right now in the middle of this mess. She took notice of the way he observed her though, a serene expression so different from the hostility of the other soldiers.
Her escort stopped her with a pad to her shoulder when they reached the door, and he opened the handcuffs behind her back. The pain in her wrists subsided, although the abrasions begun to tickle almost immediately. Then her escort pushed her inside the cell, and she heard the door get locked behind her. No words were exchanged even now; he just left, rolling the handcuffs around his finger almost playfully. Guzman stayed though, his serious eyes cast on her. She half-expected him to preach, question, or just speak to her, but his stare was mute.
She walked up the bunk bed in the cell, sitting down and removing her shoes. They felt uncomfortable in her feet, pressed against her toes. Then she leaned her hands against her knees, eyes cast down. She was so hungry she could barely move, let alone think. Hunger was turning into a wound inside her, constantly reminding her of its existence through ache. Pride wouldn't allow her to ask for food, but her survival instinct was stronger.
"Can I get food?" she asked faintly, glancing at the soldier in the corridor.
She was surprised to see his face gain a gentler dimension. "Of course, Skye," he said, taking off right away.
He halted at the door though, his hand frozen over the doorknob. "Was it worth it?" he asked, not judging her. He was just curious and sad.
Skye considered her victories: her mother's life, her relationship with Lucas. For a passing moment she considered just saying it aloud, but then she came to a different conclusion. "No," she said softly, "It was never worth it."
But desperate times called for desperate measures.
"Be sure to tell him that," he responded before leaving her alone. Skye knew who he was talking about though. The Commander would see her sooner or later. And she would tell him everything with her head held up high.
It might've not been worth it, but she wouldn't trade it away either.
TBC
Fandom: Terra Nova
Ship: Skye/Lucas
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: bad language, sexual situations, AU
Chapter: 7/?
Summary: Pre-Series. AU story. Skye meets a strange man at Snakehead Falls and ends up falling in love. But can happiness built on anonymity last, when the world around them is on fire?
Author's Note: This was so hard to write. But alas, it had to be done.
Things Lost in the Fire
7. Lessons learned
Everything made sense again suddenly: Her reluctance to touch him, her shifty glances, and her strained body language. Lucas actually felt relief; it was a crazy rush across his body. He smirked, thinking it was alright. She knew who he was, what she was to him: Their special bond, how she was the chosen child of his father, the one meant to replace him.
"I didn't think he'd leave anything to find," he told her, knowing how his father had sought to bury his disappointments in life. After all, they had never talked about his mother, not since her death, not unless it'd been Lucas arguing, demanding to be heard. Nathaniel had always shut him down, attempting to control Ayani's memory, to keep it from hurting him.
And Lucas had had to scream to be heard, to drift to paths his father would not accept to get his answers, the attention he craved for - All because Nathaniel Taylor was weak underneath, unable to confront his own mistakes, to accept the responsibility of his own decisions. So he'd made a void where his wife had once been, a black hole that sucked the light around it.
There were no photographs of his mother, at least none that Lucas knew about. His father hadn't worn his wedding ring for years now; he'd destroy the little property she had. And because she had been buried with an empty coffin, there had been no place for Lucas to talk to her either.
Lucas had honestly thought that his father would've erased the computers and never mentioned him or their blissful family hell to anyone. He'd seen it once, and he knew his father didn't love him like he had loved his mother, so it would've been easier to erase the disappointment. Yet somehow Skye had dug up the hints, followed them down the rabbit hole, and found him.
His green eyes poured into her, alive and full of emotion. She didn't look so fragile anymore, not with that fire in her. She was pissed off and perhaps with good reason. Lucas didn't know how much she knew about her foster family, but he assumed they'd told her very little, perhaps just a crude list of his sins.
"Look at me, Bucket," he asked, trading tension for kindness. He realized she'd shifted her eyes from him again. He sought for that contact, aware of how difficult it was for her to lie to him when she couldn't trick him with intimacy.
Skye complied with his request slowly, an eerie calmness existing between them. It was a charade that was waiting for an ending. "Do you think I have his eyes?" he asked, brutally honest. She could tell he wanted her to say no, could read it in the way he surveyed her. It was a test she almost wanted to fail.
She reared her head at him, uncomfortable in her position. "It changes everything Lucas," she told him with a grave voice, barely recognizing it herself.
Angered by her answer, or the lack of a proper one, he grabbed her forearms, holding her still a bit too tight, as he spoke to her. "Not what you feel! Not that," he told her, barely containing himself. His fingers dug into her skin, his barbed words into her mind.
She knew now what Washington had meant when she had described Lucas to her. There was a duality in him: kindness and sensitivity that was lost under his quickly flaring temper and inability to understand others.
Skye rolled her shoulders violently, breaking free from his grasp. "And that's all that matters to you?" she questioned with a vulnerable voice, throwing her hands in frustration. "Everything else can go to shit as long as you're good?"
Lucas tried to hold still, to reach her, to reassure her, but with every breath, with every sentence, she just ended up twisting his every effort. "I don't have the luxury of empathy," he muttered at her, barely hiding his disgust.
He understood it now, the meaning of it all. She'd come to him like a siren, rekindling his hopes, talking her way to his heart. And now she was rejecting him, his dreams for them. She was rejecting him for Terra Nova, for his murdering son of a bitch father.
"Don't talk about it like its some luxury!" she yelled back at him, her rage igniting for good now. "You really expect me to help you in mass murder! In some crazy fantasy of getting back at your father?" Skye shook her head without understanding, everything felt wrong.
"No!" Lucas objected, raising his finger at her, the muscles in his arm tensing dangerously. His face was void from love, from compassion.
"Make no mistake, Skye, I will kill him, because that is all he deserves." His voice thundered with authority and pain.
"What did he do to you to make you hate him so much?" she asked, unable to grasp how anyone could hate their own father. To her a father was something precious, something important. She'd never feel as safe as she had in her father's arms. To her the mere thought of hating her father would be worse than death.
An almost sadistic expression spread across Lucas' face. He took pleasure from telling her, from driving a wedge between her and his father. "He killed my mother."
Skye actually fumbled backwards a bit as if in shock from his revelation. Disbelief was all over her face. She shook her head, refusing to believe it. "You're lying," she claimed attempting to convince her rather than him. Somehow she knew he believed in his own words though, it was in the way Lucas stood quietly and observed her breakdown with sadness.
"It's alright," he said, his anger subsiding for a moment, "He's been like a father to you, but I have to set it straight. I care for you too much." Lucas wanted to pull her close, muse into her ear, comfort her as she experienced the same overwhelming loss he had faced alone over a decade ago. He didn't though, he saw the warning in her eyes when he was about to move.
"I don't care," she claimed, numbness spreading into her. "You'll have to find another way to get back at him. I won't let you open that portal."
There it was again - that silent voice inside. He hadn't missed it one bit. It was cruel, unforgiving. It nagged at his self-control, yearning to be released. The woman he loved stood before him defiantly, openly admitting to betraying his trust. The blinding rage should've come by now, but it was a shadow of its usual self. He suspected it was because of her. Of course it wasn't completely removed, but less potent anyway.
"I asked you to do a simple thing," Lucas said, trying to clear his thoughts, "A small favor to ensure our future together."
How could he talk so softly even as his voice was harsh and heartbreaking?
"And you did it, you succeeded brilliantly, like I wanted you to," he admired her for a second, desire touching him deep inside.
"But then you chose to fuck it up. You chose to let me down. How can you do that to someone you supposedly love?" He lectured to her with a distant tone, as he already sought to rise above the petty emotions that messed everything up. And he questioned her; he questioned everything she'd told him.
"It's quite easy Lucas," she responded with spite, not backing down with this. "You're no better than Mira. You're just too messed up to realize it."
He recoiled as if she'd slapped him across his face. Skye's open hostility was everything he hadn't expected. He'd wanted to expose his father, tell her the truth for once. But instead she was attacking him, ignoring his words and intentions. "You think I'm crazy?" he asked her.
She jumped in fright next, as his arm flew across the air, sweeping the table clean from the equipment placed on it. There was a crack and some rattle with broken pieces of equipment tumbling on the floor, followed by an unnerving silence. Her eyes snapped right back at him, outraged by this display of his. Lucas stared back, pleased by her reaction, knowing he had her full attention.
"I'll tell him everything: about us, about the portal. I don't care anymore. Let him hate me, let them all hate me," Skye threatened calmly, hoping for a reaction, something to justify her cruelty.
He just chuckled at her, his malicious laughter vibrating across his body. Lucas bit his lip gently, ran his tongue over his lips. "Do you think our father will forgive you, little sister?" he asked her next.
It really threw her overboard, yanked her chain. "I'm not your fucking sister!" she shouted, rejecting the thought with both her body and soul.
He didn't feel offended by it though, how could he? She was acting like a child in tantrum, overcome by emotions. It was no wonder he could not open her eyes to his father's lies, they had dug deep into her, refusing to let go.
Everything was falling apart. The love she'd cherished, the empowerment of feeling like you belonged to some, body and soul - it was slipping away. Every minute, every new attack in this argument gave her less reason to stay and risk her future here. Her mother had begged her to go despite knowing it would mean death to her. Lucas was begging her to destroy lives, knowing it meant the loss of Skye's innocence or what little was left of it - And all for what? - Revenge.
"Fine," he said softly, "You're not my sister. Now tell me how will your Commander receive you once he knows what you've done? Will he welcome you with open arms? Will he listen to your pleas?"
Skye crossed her arms over her chest defiantly, as he ranted on losing himself in the emotional avalanche that was building inside.
"No! He will cast you out and leave you to die. Then he will erase you until you're nothing but an empty profile in a computer, a ghost in the machine," he then finished, his eyes swelling with tears. She saw his scars so clearly now, his pain reached a part of her that didn't want to let go.
His trademark grin returned with a hint of madness. He chuckled, pleading to her, "Is that really who you want to choose in all of this?"
He didn't succeed in showing her how wicked his father was. All she saw were two evils of which only one supported her morals. If she'd throw herself into his fire, she'd burn until there was nothing left of her. And she didn't believe he could love her either after that. You don't destroy what you love; you change it for the better.
She could tell he was going to leave a scar, but she didn't mind. She'd live through it somehow.
"You were right," she acknowledged sadly, "It doesn't change the way I feel about you."
Skye stepped closer to him, claiming his lips with hers. It was bittersweet, a kiss goodbye. Lucas stood by passively, accepting her affection, yet he did not participate himself. There was no passion in her kiss, her lips trembled against him. He felt strangely numb, already anticipating her next move, as she pulled away.
"But it changes everything else. I'm done Lucas. I'm going back and I won't help you anymore," she then finished, speaking the hard truths in her heart with strange ease.
She expected him to grab her, keep her still, refuse to let her go, but he watched her walk away calmly with contempt.
"You'll be back," he told her, rejecting everything she'd just said. He knew she'd be back for her mother, for him. She'd see the error of her ways, realize how the grief of his absence hurt like hell, and she'd come back to him - he just knew it.
So he made no effort to stop her, he just stood there, feeling like he'd won somehow. A sad delusion that would crumble only after she'd left.
-
Skye couldn't walk away fast enough. She didn't stop for anything, not even a glimpse at her mother. She treated this escape like tearing off a band-aid - do it quickly and it would hurt less. It didn't stop her eyes from being clouded by tears, or her strength faltering as she ran through the woods. She grasped onto a weapon, searched for danger, ending up running until her lungs were screaming for her to stop.
And she stopped, kicking and screaming at the nearest tree, her outburst unlike ever before. She'd never felt this weak and powerless, never so helpless. Caught panting and cursing until her heartbeat became steady again, she stood there, pain pulsating through-out her body. Running was the easy thing to do, whereas staying would've required her to be strong, she recognized this. Yet the window of opportunity was closing, she needed to get going while she still could, and she'd chosen to go for it.
Finding a spark of hope within her, she set off running again, this time with a more bearable pace. Her legs carried her towards the future, towards Terra Nova. Maybe she had a genuine shot of reinventing herself? Maybe she could live for herself for once?
Back at the camp Lucas came to slowly realize she wasn't coming back. He rested his hand on the table, drumming its surface impatiently, going through everything she'd said. He didn't fully grasp where they'd gone wrong, but he knew he'd lost her. And once that thought became dominant the fear kicked him into motion. He rushed outside, whistling for assistance. A few of his foot soldiers immediately caught the whistle from the ground, turning to him like flowers turned to the sun.
Lucas leaned over the rail, pointing in the general direction of Terra Nova. "The girl left by foot, go get her back," he told them, watching as they set in motion immediately, following his command. Lucas squeezed the rail under his hands, feeling how unyielding the wood was. He suppressed the impulses that demanded him to chase her himself. She couldn't have gotten far.
Regret licked his skin like a flame, that voice deep inside telling him she didn't love him. Lucas ignored it; still certain that he did love her and not even this would stop that. The roots were too strong, they grasped his heart, unwilling to let go. He would find her.
-
Skye ran, thick sweat falling down her neck, clinging onto her back. The sweat made her skin itch, resembling the worst kind of rash. She felt uncomfortable, but the years of spying had taught her to ignore those feelings, push them to the back of her head. Time was elusive but she was certain she'd been going at least a half an hour. Her water was almost out, despite her attempts to ration it. The heat was scorching, her only salvation being the shadow of the trees.
The distance seemed almost impossible to cross by foot, to make it in time. She didn't give up though, didn't let her weakness get in the way. Hunger was making her feel dizzy, her steps stumbled. A headache emerged; the heat wearied her down more and more. Even nature seemed to go against her, the terrain attempting to slow her advance as much as possible.
She reached the top of a hill, realizing she needed to descend the rocky slope down. Again she scanned for signs of predators and wildlife, finding nothing. This she really seemed to have the devil's luck on her side. So Skye took one step down, steady in her descent. Her first steps were slow, careful, but she quickened the paste, realizing how time was of the essence. Her heart was beating wildly again. It drowned the noises of the jungle beneath it, yet she also had the strangest feeling of being watched.
Then she caught a glimpse of something from the corner of her eye, something moving ahead. It made her choose her steps unwisely, land straight into a spot where the ground was loose. It shifted beneath her weight, making her lose her balance in an instant as her tired legs couldn't find a footing. Skye fell with a thump, rolling down the hill a bit. She fell off a small cliff, shielding her head with her hands. The impact with the ground knocked the air from her lugs, reintroduced her to physical pain. It was somewhat easy to take in contrast with heartache.
She lied still for a moment, the world spinning around her. There was noise in the distance; she pushed herself up with her scraped hands to see what it was. The stones beneath her hands prickled, her body felt unable to co-operative, yet she managed to get up. A vehicle was approaching. Not knowing what to do, she froze in the headlights, shielding her eyes with her hands.
The rover stopped in front of her wavering figure, soldiers stepping out. They moved quickly, she had trouble keeping her eyes focused. Their faces felt like a blur, none of them looking familiar. Her brain told her they weren't Sixers though, and sadly she realized she almost wished they had been.
"Skye Tate, you're under arrest for treason," one of them told her, while another circled around her, pushing her onwards. He bent her over the hood of the vehicle, pulling her arms behind her back and locking her wrists in the steel embrace of a pair of handcuffs. She didn't resist.
"We're taking you back to Terra Nova. The Commander will know what to do with you," that same voice preached, the disdain its owner had for her quite clear. She got pulled up and dragged to the backseat like lifeless doll. She followed them without objections. Her sense told her it was over, so what use was resisting now?
The two figures who'd been tracing her in the distance observed as the vehicle drove off with her. They sensed trouble, but headed back with the news anyway. Their leader would not be happy.
They didn't speak on the drive back to Terra Nova. Not one of the soldiers in the vehicle said a word, yet their aggression towards her hung in the air like a deadly cloud. Skye's disorientation faded eventually, leaving her fully aware of everything that went around her, despite the initial haze of her fall and the shock.
She'd been too late after all; someone had noticed her absence, let Taylor know and he'd connected the dots finally. Maybe he'd even searched her room and found the hard drive. In retrospect her decision to leave it behind, especially in such a ridiculous hiding place, was foolish. She'd threatened to expose Lucas, but hadn't really meant to give his research to his father. It felt wrong. Like betraying a secret or a diary - the cold numbers had the same meaning to him, they were extremely personal. They weren't meant for anyone else's eyes.
The cuffs cut into her skin as the uneven road bounced the vehicle and her along with it. She didn't have any energy to complain and saw no use, since they wouldn't listen to her anyway. She'd seen what everyone thought of Curran, the slander he got behind his back. Skye might've not been a murderer, yet her crime was worse. She didn't know if she had any other option than exile now.
She contemplated what the Commander would do to her - his own foster daughter - now that he knew. Was there mercy in his heart, or was he just as frozen inside as Lucas had told her? For a second she wondered if he'd actually told her the truth, if the man she loved and respected like a father had really killed his wife. Could it be that Lucas' rage was justified? Could it be that the scars in him weren't self-inflicted, that he needed someone to untangle him?
Her thoughts circled around him again almost possessively - that's how she knew he couldn't make her hate him. She'd left him behind because she couldn't support him. It had been the adult thing to do, yet it didn't lessen the crazy faith she had in him. That feeling wasn't explainable by logic; it wasn't based on actions or words.
Terra Nova appeared into view in the front window, appearing majestic in the horizon. They drove through the long open field, and she could feel the soldiers tense in anticipation. They would be commended for catching her, probably get free drinks at the bar and a pat on the back. Good men with values, good soldiers following orders. And what was she? - Just a lost little girl in an impossible situation. She didn't think even Lucas could solve that equation.
They drove through the gate, slowing down at first and then stopping altogether. Hands grabbed her almost violently, pulling her out from her forearm. She felt like a ragdoll being hauled from one place to another. She staggered once she was pulled on her feet, felt the overwhelming stares all around her as the crowd watched how she was dragged around bloodied and bruised like she'd actually put up a fight. Skye steeled herself, escaped into his arms as he'd held her during their reunion, his love so comforting and beautiful.
Her eyes searched the crowd for familiar faces, finding some staring back at her in shock, anger and anguish. No one connected with her though; everyone looked right through her, seeing only the spy, who had endangered them all. She would have to learn to accept this role now. It was her part in this play, like Eve falling victim to temptation, to sin. And their leader would condemn her accordingly.
Someone was radioing in the distance, while Skye was being led towards descending stairs. She knew they led to the brig. She pressed her head when they begun descending the stairs, the door opening in front of them. And despite her impulse to look at the crowd one more time, she didn't.
It was cool in the brig; she could feel the change in temperature send shivers across her body. Sweat had licked her moist, helping the cold to spread. The farthest cell door was open, a man holding it for her. It took an extended moment to recognize Tasha's father, Guzman, yet the connection brought no joy to her. A familiar face wasn't what wanted right now in the middle of this mess. She took notice of the way he observed her though, a serene expression so different from the hostility of the other soldiers.
Her escort stopped her with a pad to her shoulder when they reached the door, and he opened the handcuffs behind her back. The pain in her wrists subsided, although the abrasions begun to tickle almost immediately. Then her escort pushed her inside the cell, and she heard the door get locked behind her. No words were exchanged even now; he just left, rolling the handcuffs around his finger almost playfully. Guzman stayed though, his serious eyes cast on her. She half-expected him to preach, question, or just speak to her, but his stare was mute.
She walked up the bunk bed in the cell, sitting down and removing her shoes. They felt uncomfortable in her feet, pressed against her toes. Then she leaned her hands against her knees, eyes cast down. She was so hungry she could barely move, let alone think. Hunger was turning into a wound inside her, constantly reminding her of its existence through ache. Pride wouldn't allow her to ask for food, but her survival instinct was stronger.
"Can I get food?" she asked faintly, glancing at the soldier in the corridor.
She was surprised to see his face gain a gentler dimension. "Of course, Skye," he said, taking off right away.
He halted at the door though, his hand frozen over the doorknob. "Was it worth it?" he asked, not judging her. He was just curious and sad.
Skye considered her victories: her mother's life, her relationship with Lucas. For a passing moment she considered just saying it aloud, but then she came to a different conclusion. "No," she said softly, "It was never worth it."
But desperate times called for desperate measures.
"Be sure to tell him that," he responded before leaving her alone. Skye knew who he was talking about though. The Commander would see her sooner or later. And she would tell him everything with her head held up high.
It might've not been worth it, but she wouldn't trade it away either.
TBC