Deception coats the pain as the children run and play. The truth would destroy love all together, but wrecklessly the joys of passion prances through the fields of artificial beauty. And as a drop of rain flowing through the ocean, misdirected pain crashes down upon everything.

I'm starting college tomorrow & can't wait. I've been drug free for 3 months, and Nick & Mikey apparently have been too! I'm proud of all of us. Computers down at Brian's. I need a badass Motherboard basically, and have no money for it. Donations please & thanks?

There's nothing more I want than just one night free of doubt and sadness...

No trickly tears, no angry faces. Touching moments drowned most fear and doubts. The drain is blocked by undwindling paranoia, but for the moment the sink is drained.

Unconciousness provides no sheilds & I can't sleep without them. My unconcious mind is punishing me, but for what I'm uncertain. They remind me my mind will never be free, and some things you will never forget, or be at ease with.

My worst fear keeps coming to life night after night in my dreams. I'm on the verge of believing the visions are premonitions of an inevitable situation & its tearing up my insides.

"How did I get here, and what went wrong? Couldn't handle forgiveness, now I'm far beyond gone. I can hardly remember the look of my own eyes. How could I love this? A life so dishonest it made me compromise ( Read more... )

Every step is an epic, life shattering mess. The pieces just won't fit, and they further crumble as I try. If only Zoloft's depression potato would come make my day and take the rain cloud that hangs above my head away. Within the existence no one sees, they tell me how awful things are without thinking twice about any other alternative, and I don' ( Read more... )

Each night within my dreams I'm met with a stituation which seems so far away. It was only last week, but I've moved on so quick its amazing.

I'm sick of people getting involved in my personal life. Saying i'm partying too hard, on too many drugs, blah blah blahhh. Most of them have NO idea.

I'm finally rid of the problem, and I took full advantage of that Friday night. I snorted a roll which was a mistake because now i'm craving speed (it was meth based), and I robo-tripped again for the first time in a couple months.

I'm getting an abortion on September 28th & 29th. I'm not sorry. I think this will be the best move I've ever made, and I've had no emotion but happiness and thankfulness since I set the appointment.

There's always a way out.