Let me shit on your chest, for no reason whatsoever. You will be distracted from your problems. You will by enraged beyond reason. You will no longer be torn, instead, you will tear me a new asshole. And with this new asshole, fresh and painful to use as it may be, I will shit on your hand. It will burn awfully. I will promptly die of a bacterial infection. You will wash your hands using fluids distilled in a retort from my stagnant flesh. In this manner you will separate yourself from your problems, everyday, but especially on Wednesdays. not Wens-days, no. Wed-Nes-Days. I anticipate the success of this technique.
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