All Along -- Part 1

[vadriplz]

A chilling sense of déjà vu ran through Ian as he watched his third girlfriend breathe fire in front of him. Her glare was mean, eyes filled with accusation that he couldn’t say he quite deserved and still all he could think of was how beautiful she looked right at that moment. Ian liked girls with opinions of their own and enough character to

Comments

[mutual_death]

I knew if I waited, you'd turn out a good story. Bravo! I'm hooked already. Loved the banter and your characterization of Ian is incredible. [=

Constructive criticism: This made me giggle, actually. You don't use enough commas...that's why it seems points of your story are confusing. I say it's funny because I use TOO MANY commas. If you put our stories together, there's the perfect amount of commas. :P We're like peanut butter and jelly. <3

[vadriplz]

Those damn commas! Geez, in my long history of fanfic writing no one has bothered to point that out for me. But I'll work on that from now on till forever, I will! I thank you, good sir, for your gracious advice.

[smoshyruth]

Cool:) Maybe there will be part 2 or whatever?:D

[vadriplz]

Yes, there'll be part 2 and 3 and who knows how many. I just forgot to put "part 1" in the title it would seem. xD *goes to fix that*
Thanks for being cool!

[smoshyruth]

Cool!:D All be waiting for those:D

[boredomdelux]

dude, this was absolutely crazy! Which means that I really loved it <3 I have never in my long slash-reading-career read anything like this, so you should be proud :)) I'll definitely be following this story, and I can't wait to see where this goes! :D

[vadriplz]

Uh, yeah, sometimes I go a bit crazy when I'm trying to write a humorous story. xD; But I'm glad it tickled your fancy! Thanks for reading~

[creepylove7]

Weeee~ ^^
I'm impatient to read part 2 :3