Really busy (rabbit hole) day
Today was a very busy day.
First, my crew woke me up because somebody in the crow's nest had spotted a pod of whales. We thought it was all going to be great and all, so we went after one of them since whaling is our business. As the harpoon was about to strike it, my mom called me to ask where I had been the past few weeks. When she found out what I was doing, she informed me that whaling was made illegal in 1972 so it was time for me to BUST.
So the crew was busy in the boats chasing the whale, and I single-handedly sailed the ship away and made a run for it. Or a sail for it... You know what I mean. I sailed a while and then the crew began to notice that I was going away from them, but I pretended I didn't hear their frantic screams. I fell victim to their evil practices, there was no way I was going to hang around there! And what would you know, if I had read Moby Dick in English class I would've known to not go whaling.
Anyways, I went into the first port I saw. I walked up to somebody on the street and said, "Excuse me, could you tell me where I am?" And they claimed that I was in Kansas. I may not know much geography, but I do know that Kansas is not near the ocean! So this guy had some nerve to tell me I was in Kansas.
Around nine o'clock, I flew to NYC and joined the big Italian mafia there. A nice, steady-paying job as a hitman. It was time to get payback on this "Kansas" guy. That was an insult to my intelligence. So I went and I found this guy later on, and I was interrogating him before "dealing" with him... And guess what? Turns out he was a Russian spy, who really did think he was in Kansas, because wasn't very good at geography either. Geography has never been my thing, so I felt some sympathy for the guy. He was very polite and apologetic.
I was going to let him go, when I remembered I'm a CIA agent. I guess that fall from twenty stories last night did give me some brain damage after all. Good thing I remembered in time, and I turned him into to my boss at the CIA. When my boss asked where I had been for the past two weeks, I made up some story about suspicions about the mafia and an illegal whaling ship and how I had joined them to get inside info, etc... Luckily, he bought the story. I guess I had a good reputation, but I don't remember anything about it because of that concussion.
So on my lunch break I went to Burger King, because I'm totally boycotting McDonald's. As I was eating my tenth burger, the crew from my whaling ship came in. And let me tell you, they were pretty pissed. And I was upset too, because I was really hungry and I hate interuptions. I was wearing my earpiece and mic, because in the CIA you do that, and was able to get reinforcements.
After that close call, I sat down at home for some thinking. And that is when I realized this isn't even my life. That made me kind of confused. Naturally, I tried to meditate and hopefully make contact with someone through the Force. That was when Admiral Ackbar used his skills in wizardry to come rescue me. I was a little surprised this form of communication even worked. I mean, Ackbar has not been trained in the Force! But I'm not complaining, since he used his Mon Calamari powers to teleport me home.
I walked into my house (or what I thought was my house) and found the very large and angry reincarnation of Jek Porkins. The guy has changed, he's not on the good side anymore. That's what I originally thought, until I realized it was Palpatine inhabiting the body of Porkins. This frightened me, because he still had all his Sith powers but now he wasn't a feeble old man. I know what you are thinking now, how could the great Ackbar put me into such a trap? I had been tricked by his Sith brother, who used his evil ways to deceive me. It was none other than Darth Rabkca who had received my message and "rescued" me. I can't believe I didn't realize. Sensing that I was aware of his scheme, Rabkca swooped down on his winged beast with nine Nazgul behind him (by this point I was on the roof, hiding from Palpatine/Porkins).
Your first thought, as mine was, is probably that two evils from different fandoms would side with each other against me. But in this case this was not so, the Nazgul were in persuit of Rabkca. As they became involved in most likely the biggest aerial battle of the century, I ran. I kept running until I basically collapsed.
Next thing I know, I'm awake in a hospital bed. I told the nurses what happened, and they keep insisting that it's a dream. They all think I'm crazy. I snuck out by using Jedi mind tricks to get on the computer and tell you all. You can believe me or you can join them in thinking I've gone insane. It doesn't really matter to me. I just want you to hear my story.
I'm tired, I'm going to take a nap now.
First, my crew woke me up because somebody in the crow's nest had spotted a pod of whales. We thought it was all going to be great and all, so we went after one of them since whaling is our business. As the harpoon was about to strike it, my mom called me to ask where I had been the past few weeks. When she found out what I was doing, she informed me that whaling was made illegal in 1972 so it was time for me to BUST.
So the crew was busy in the boats chasing the whale, and I single-handedly sailed the ship away and made a run for it. Or a sail for it... You know what I mean. I sailed a while and then the crew began to notice that I was going away from them, but I pretended I didn't hear their frantic screams. I fell victim to their evil practices, there was no way I was going to hang around there! And what would you know, if I had read Moby Dick in English class I would've known to not go whaling.
Anyways, I went into the first port I saw. I walked up to somebody on the street and said, "Excuse me, could you tell me where I am?" And they claimed that I was in Kansas. I may not know much geography, but I do know that Kansas is not near the ocean! So this guy had some nerve to tell me I was in Kansas.
Around nine o'clock, I flew to NYC and joined the big Italian mafia there. A nice, steady-paying job as a hitman. It was time to get payback on this "Kansas" guy. That was an insult to my intelligence. So I went and I found this guy later on, and I was interrogating him before "dealing" with him... And guess what? Turns out he was a Russian spy, who really did think he was in Kansas, because wasn't very good at geography either. Geography has never been my thing, so I felt some sympathy for the guy. He was very polite and apologetic.
I was going to let him go, when I remembered I'm a CIA agent. I guess that fall from twenty stories last night did give me some brain damage after all. Good thing I remembered in time, and I turned him into to my boss at the CIA. When my boss asked where I had been for the past two weeks, I made up some story about suspicions about the mafia and an illegal whaling ship and how I had joined them to get inside info, etc... Luckily, he bought the story. I guess I had a good reputation, but I don't remember anything about it because of that concussion.
So on my lunch break I went to Burger King, because I'm totally boycotting McDonald's. As I was eating my tenth burger, the crew from my whaling ship came in. And let me tell you, they were pretty pissed. And I was upset too, because I was really hungry and I hate interuptions. I was wearing my earpiece and mic, because in the CIA you do that, and was able to get reinforcements.
After that close call, I sat down at home for some thinking. And that is when I realized this isn't even my life. That made me kind of confused. Naturally, I tried to meditate and hopefully make contact with someone through the Force. That was when Admiral Ackbar used his skills in wizardry to come rescue me. I was a little surprised this form of communication even worked. I mean, Ackbar has not been trained in the Force! But I'm not complaining, since he used his Mon Calamari powers to teleport me home.
I walked into my house (or what I thought was my house) and found the very large and angry reincarnation of Jek Porkins. The guy has changed, he's not on the good side anymore. That's what I originally thought, until I realized it was Palpatine inhabiting the body of Porkins. This frightened me, because he still had all his Sith powers but now he wasn't a feeble old man. I know what you are thinking now, how could the great Ackbar put me into such a trap? I had been tricked by his Sith brother, who used his evil ways to deceive me. It was none other than Darth Rabkca who had received my message and "rescued" me. I can't believe I didn't realize. Sensing that I was aware of his scheme, Rabkca swooped down on his winged beast with nine Nazgul behind him (by this point I was on the roof, hiding from Palpatine/Porkins).
Your first thought, as mine was, is probably that two evils from different fandoms would side with each other against me. But in this case this was not so, the Nazgul were in persuit of Rabkca. As they became involved in most likely the biggest aerial battle of the century, I ran. I kept running until I basically collapsed.
Next thing I know, I'm awake in a hospital bed. I told the nurses what happened, and they keep insisting that it's a dream. They all think I'm crazy. I snuck out by using Jedi mind tricks to get on the computer and tell you all. You can believe me or you can join them in thinking I've gone insane. It doesn't really matter to me. I just want you to hear my story.
I'm tired, I'm going to take a nap now.