Winterworld
Title: Winterworld
Beta: sff_reader
Fandom: Star trek TOS
Rating: PG
Pairing: Spock/McCoy
Summary: A fight between Spock and McCoy on a mission and its potentially fatal consequences.
Words: 2016
Note: Written for the fourth challenge of the ship war run by st_respect. The prompt was "In the doghouse again".
Spock turned around sharply the moment the door shut behind McCoy.
“You had no right to give away that information!” he hissed.
Startled, the doctor stopped right in font of the door. He had known that Spock wasn’t happy, but he had never seen him show his anger this openly.
“If I hadn’t told them about it, the serum they would have injected you with would have killed you,” he justified himself. “Did you really expect me to let that happen?”
“Indeed I did. You knew that this kind of genetic defect is a stigma that brings great shame to me. I gave you the information in confidence.”
“You didn’t give me anything. I found out on my own,” McCoy snapped, frustrated. “And it’s hardly your fault what your genes are doing. There can be no shame in that. You Vulcans aren’t so primitive to believe that this is a punishment by the gods or something.”
“Don’t rationalize! You know nothing of our culture.” Spock was almost growling. “You only knew that no one was to be informed of this. You knew I would rather die that have anyone know. And you told it to the Vulcan doctor, of all people!”
“So what? Do you think he’ll go home and tell everyone? And how the hell am I supposed to know anything about your culture if you make such a damn secret about everything?”
“It does not matter what I tell you. You betrayed my trust, as my doctor and as my mate!”
“You didn’t really think I would let you die, did you?” McCoy struggled to defeat the urge to shout. Spock was genuinely angry, furious even, and the doctor just didn’t see the point. Why did he have to justify himself for saving someone’s life? Even knowing about Vulcans and their sensitivities, it didn’t make any sense to him.
“I did. Apparently I was wrong to trust you with my wishes.”
McCoy stared at him, angry and hurt. “You wish for death? Is that it?”
“You do not understand.”
“You’re right, I don’t. You expect me to allow a death that could be easily prevented and would serve no purpose but to protect your stupid, pointless pride? Because of a genetic defect that has no other consequences than make you allergic to some substances?”
“It was my decision!” Spock didn’t quite yell, but his voice was loud and hard and dangerous. “You had no right to interfere. Your selfishness has caused great harm to me and my house. I cannot forgive this.”
“My selfishness?” McCoy shot back. “It was you who was so fixed on getting your idiotic, illogical will that you never stopped to think what this would do to me. Or Jim, while we’re at it. If it was me, would you just stand by and watch me die?”
“Yes.”
The single word hurt more than McCoy had though Spock was capable of hurting him. “I see,” he mumbled, his hands balled to fists.
Spock had turned his back to him. When he spoke, his voice was calm and as cold as the wind that howled outside their cabin. “Leave now,” he said. “You are no longer welcome here.”
Ten seconds passed before McCoy was able to move. “Fine,” he snapped and left. The door was not automatic, but the icy wind that blew into his face the moment he stepped outside nearly tore it from his fingers and robbed him of the satisfaction of slamming it shut. So he made use of the circumstances and let go of the door, letting the wind blow into the room and at Spock who would hopefully be appropriately annoyed.
The fact that their relationship was widely known had its downsides in moments like this. They had been assigned shared accommodations. In fact, McCoy had been put into Spock’s quarters, which until one minute ago had not been a problem. But this was still technically Spock’s cabin, and he had every right to kick the doctor out.
Well, McCoy thought, pulling his coat closer around his body as he walked through the snow toward the other cabins. He’d crash with Jim, then. Until Spock came to his senses, or they went back to the ship - whatever came first.
-
Leonard did not attend the farewell ceremony for the team of Vulcan medics that had been send to help inoculate the natives of this world as well as the visitors from the Federation against the virus that was threatening their lives. Spock suspected it was their argument the day before that made him stay away. While he disapproved of the doctor letting their private life interfere with his duty as an officer, Spock was relieved not to see him.
It had been difficult to meet the Vulcans one more time, as now they knew about his unfavourable condition. Not only was he half-human and the only Vulcan to ever choose Starfleet over the Vulcan Science Academy, he now was also known as having the K’tur disease. Despite neither of them treating him differently, he felt more stigmatised than ever.
He still could not believe Leonard would betray his trust like that.
They continued the exploration of the planet afterwards. Spock accompanied Kirk and Sulu on a trip to the mountains. The harsh winds blowing between the rocks made the flight difficult, however, and an upcoming storm shook their small shuttle so badly that even a pilot as capable as Sulu could not steer it safely. After two hours the captain had to abort the trip prematurely.
Doctor M’Benga called minutes after they had returned to the camp, demanding to speak to McCoy. It was only then that Spock realised his assumption Leonard had joined the other team around M’Benga and Chekov in their research one day earlier than scheduled had been wrong.
When Kirk called Uhura to ask if his CMO had checked out of the camp as demanded by the regulations, he sounded irritated rather than concerned. Keeping with protocol was not one of Leonard’s strong points.
“I haven’t seen him since yesterday,” the captain said after ending the call. “I ran into him on the way to my cabin and took the opportunity to reprimand him for his behaviour with Lord Ki’Chu.”
Absurdly, Spock felt the need to defend his mate despite the resentment burning as strongly as before. “The Lord’s politics regarding minorities do leave something to be desired.”
“Perhaps. But it’s not Bones’ place to tell him that. Especially since we want these people to join the Federation, not to piss them off.” Kirk sighed impatiently. “He’s got to be somewhere. Probably didn’t want to talk to me after I cut him down like that last night, so he left the camp without signing out. Typical. When did he leave this morning?”
“I do not know,” Spock admitted. “We had a disagreement last night. I assumed he would sleep at your place.”
Only now did worry appear on the captain’s face.
“Damn,” he said.
-
The camp only consisted of the shuttle and the lab container, both of which were sealed at night, and the two small, box-shaped cabins that served as sleeping accommodations for Kirk, Spock and McCoy. Everyone else stayed at the bigger camp a few miles to the north, further from the area of their research but with much better facilities.
Despite being annoyed with this friend, Kirk would have let him stay the night had he known about his fight with Spock. But knowing Bones, Kirk suspected that he had been too angry (or hurt) to tell him about private matters after having been reprimanded in an unusually (and perhaps inappropriately) harsh fashion; just like he would never have gone back to Spock and the angry silence the Vulcan would have given him all night.
“The coat would not have protected him from the cold completely,” Spock observed. “He must have kept moving to keep warm.”
Kirk could just see it in his mind: Bones wandering around all night, cold and miserable, because he was too stubborn to ask for a place to sleep. He really wanted to find him now so he could give him a good, hard kick in his bony ass.
Sure enough they found his traces behind the lab, where he had been protected from the wind. The footprints led away, though, and disappeared in the snow.
Apparently Spock hadn’t slept at all this night, as he was able to tell that the storm had stopped an hour before sunrise. He speculated that Bones had decided to go to the small research area a mile away in the woods, as it would provide much needed movement and something useful to do until everyone else returned to work. Kirk could not deny that this was very likely.
It also was apparent that something had happened to the doctor on his way, as he had never made it there.
“This way leads to the cliffs,” Spock said, pointing down a path between the threes. “In the dark it would be very easy to take the wrong turn.”
He sounded as calm as ever.
Even in the daylight the cliff was easy to overlook; the snow that covered everything blurred the lines. Kirk only knew it was there because before him Spock stopped and looked down.
“I found him,” he declared, in the same voice he used to read out the data of a scan. The captain walked up to him without hurry and only distantly aware that his hands were balled to fists at his side.
Suddenly, Spock jumped down. He grabbed the edge of the rock for a moment, then let go. Kirk came just in time to see him reach the ground about ten metres below in three or four controlled falls.
Lacking the Vulcan’s strength and agility, there was no chance for Kirk to get down there. He watched Spock run to Bones who was lying on the ground and not moving and wasn’t worried. Bones wasn’t dead. He wouldn’t die because of something stupid like this.
It was unthinkable.
So Kirk couldn’t quite explain why his hand was trembling when he flipped open his communicator and called for Sulu to pick them up with the shuttle.
-
Leonard was conscious when Spock reached him, but barely aware of his surroundings. He showed no reaction to Spock’s voice. Despite his broken leg and dislocated shoulder, he must have kept moving for hours after the fall, until his strength finally ran out. It had saved him from freezing to death.
When they were in the Shuttle and Leonard was wrapped in Spock’s coat instead of his own wet one and pulled safely against the Vulcan’s warm body, it worried Spock that he was not shivering or feeling any pain from his injuries. He blinked slowly and then closed his eyes, not opening them again. Spock held him a little tighter, grasped his cold, limp hand.
“It seems I lied to you, though I was no aware of it at the time,” he admitted, not caring that Kirk and Sulu were able to hear. “Were you to die, even if it was your wish, I would not be able to stand by and let you go. I see your point now.”
Leonard’s head rolled on Spock’s shoulder with every change of direction the Shuttle made.
“I fear I must apologize for my behaviour,” Spock tried again. Beside him, Kirk watched them without blinking, his knuckles showing white under the skin of his hands.
Leonard’s fingers moved weakly in Spock’s grip.
“Then apologize,” he whispered without opening his eyes, “and promise I won’t have to sleep on the couch anymore.”
Slowly, Spock let out the breath he had not been aware he was holding. “We have no couch,” he pointed out.
“Knew there was something missing tonight.” Leonard’s voice grew weaker with every word. “Besides you, of course…”
“We do, however, have a bed.” This time, it did not worry Spock (much) when he got no reply.
He knew that eventually, he would.
February 14, 2010
Beta: sff_reader
Fandom: Star trek TOS
Rating: PG
Pairing: Spock/McCoy
Summary: A fight between Spock and McCoy on a mission and its potentially fatal consequences.
Words: 2016
Note: Written for the fourth challenge of the ship war run by st_respect. The prompt was "In the doghouse again".
Spock turned around sharply the moment the door shut behind McCoy.
“You had no right to give away that information!” he hissed.
Startled, the doctor stopped right in font of the door. He had known that Spock wasn’t happy, but he had never seen him show his anger this openly.
“If I hadn’t told them about it, the serum they would have injected you with would have killed you,” he justified himself. “Did you really expect me to let that happen?”
“Indeed I did. You knew that this kind of genetic defect is a stigma that brings great shame to me. I gave you the information in confidence.”
“You didn’t give me anything. I found out on my own,” McCoy snapped, frustrated. “And it’s hardly your fault what your genes are doing. There can be no shame in that. You Vulcans aren’t so primitive to believe that this is a punishment by the gods or something.”
“Don’t rationalize! You know nothing of our culture.” Spock was almost growling. “You only knew that no one was to be informed of this. You knew I would rather die that have anyone know. And you told it to the Vulcan doctor, of all people!”
“So what? Do you think he’ll go home and tell everyone? And how the hell am I supposed to know anything about your culture if you make such a damn secret about everything?”
“It does not matter what I tell you. You betrayed my trust, as my doctor and as my mate!”
“You didn’t really think I would let you die, did you?” McCoy struggled to defeat the urge to shout. Spock was genuinely angry, furious even, and the doctor just didn’t see the point. Why did he have to justify himself for saving someone’s life? Even knowing about Vulcans and their sensitivities, it didn’t make any sense to him.
“I did. Apparently I was wrong to trust you with my wishes.”
McCoy stared at him, angry and hurt. “You wish for death? Is that it?”
“You do not understand.”
“You’re right, I don’t. You expect me to allow a death that could be easily prevented and would serve no purpose but to protect your stupid, pointless pride? Because of a genetic defect that has no other consequences than make you allergic to some substances?”
“It was my decision!” Spock didn’t quite yell, but his voice was loud and hard and dangerous. “You had no right to interfere. Your selfishness has caused great harm to me and my house. I cannot forgive this.”
“My selfishness?” McCoy shot back. “It was you who was so fixed on getting your idiotic, illogical will that you never stopped to think what this would do to me. Or Jim, while we’re at it. If it was me, would you just stand by and watch me die?”
“Yes.”
The single word hurt more than McCoy had though Spock was capable of hurting him. “I see,” he mumbled, his hands balled to fists.
Spock had turned his back to him. When he spoke, his voice was calm and as cold as the wind that howled outside their cabin. “Leave now,” he said. “You are no longer welcome here.”
Ten seconds passed before McCoy was able to move. “Fine,” he snapped and left. The door was not automatic, but the icy wind that blew into his face the moment he stepped outside nearly tore it from his fingers and robbed him of the satisfaction of slamming it shut. So he made use of the circumstances and let go of the door, letting the wind blow into the room and at Spock who would hopefully be appropriately annoyed.
The fact that their relationship was widely known had its downsides in moments like this. They had been assigned shared accommodations. In fact, McCoy had been put into Spock’s quarters, which until one minute ago had not been a problem. But this was still technically Spock’s cabin, and he had every right to kick the doctor out.
Well, McCoy thought, pulling his coat closer around his body as he walked through the snow toward the other cabins. He’d crash with Jim, then. Until Spock came to his senses, or they went back to the ship - whatever came first.
-
Leonard did not attend the farewell ceremony for the team of Vulcan medics that had been send to help inoculate the natives of this world as well as the visitors from the Federation against the virus that was threatening their lives. Spock suspected it was their argument the day before that made him stay away. While he disapproved of the doctor letting their private life interfere with his duty as an officer, Spock was relieved not to see him.
It had been difficult to meet the Vulcans one more time, as now they knew about his unfavourable condition. Not only was he half-human and the only Vulcan to ever choose Starfleet over the Vulcan Science Academy, he now was also known as having the K’tur disease. Despite neither of them treating him differently, he felt more stigmatised than ever.
He still could not believe Leonard would betray his trust like that.
They continued the exploration of the planet afterwards. Spock accompanied Kirk and Sulu on a trip to the mountains. The harsh winds blowing between the rocks made the flight difficult, however, and an upcoming storm shook their small shuttle so badly that even a pilot as capable as Sulu could not steer it safely. After two hours the captain had to abort the trip prematurely.
Doctor M’Benga called minutes after they had returned to the camp, demanding to speak to McCoy. It was only then that Spock realised his assumption Leonard had joined the other team around M’Benga and Chekov in their research one day earlier than scheduled had been wrong.
When Kirk called Uhura to ask if his CMO had checked out of the camp as demanded by the regulations, he sounded irritated rather than concerned. Keeping with protocol was not one of Leonard’s strong points.
“I haven’t seen him since yesterday,” the captain said after ending the call. “I ran into him on the way to my cabin and took the opportunity to reprimand him for his behaviour with Lord Ki’Chu.”
Absurdly, Spock felt the need to defend his mate despite the resentment burning as strongly as before. “The Lord’s politics regarding minorities do leave something to be desired.”
“Perhaps. But it’s not Bones’ place to tell him that. Especially since we want these people to join the Federation, not to piss them off.” Kirk sighed impatiently. “He’s got to be somewhere. Probably didn’t want to talk to me after I cut him down like that last night, so he left the camp without signing out. Typical. When did he leave this morning?”
“I do not know,” Spock admitted. “We had a disagreement last night. I assumed he would sleep at your place.”
Only now did worry appear on the captain’s face.
“Damn,” he said.
-
The camp only consisted of the shuttle and the lab container, both of which were sealed at night, and the two small, box-shaped cabins that served as sleeping accommodations for Kirk, Spock and McCoy. Everyone else stayed at the bigger camp a few miles to the north, further from the area of their research but with much better facilities.
Despite being annoyed with this friend, Kirk would have let him stay the night had he known about his fight with Spock. But knowing Bones, Kirk suspected that he had been too angry (or hurt) to tell him about private matters after having been reprimanded in an unusually (and perhaps inappropriately) harsh fashion; just like he would never have gone back to Spock and the angry silence the Vulcan would have given him all night.
“The coat would not have protected him from the cold completely,” Spock observed. “He must have kept moving to keep warm.”
Kirk could just see it in his mind: Bones wandering around all night, cold and miserable, because he was too stubborn to ask for a place to sleep. He really wanted to find him now so he could give him a good, hard kick in his bony ass.
Sure enough they found his traces behind the lab, where he had been protected from the wind. The footprints led away, though, and disappeared in the snow.
Apparently Spock hadn’t slept at all this night, as he was able to tell that the storm had stopped an hour before sunrise. He speculated that Bones had decided to go to the small research area a mile away in the woods, as it would provide much needed movement and something useful to do until everyone else returned to work. Kirk could not deny that this was very likely.
It also was apparent that something had happened to the doctor on his way, as he had never made it there.
“This way leads to the cliffs,” Spock said, pointing down a path between the threes. “In the dark it would be very easy to take the wrong turn.”
He sounded as calm as ever.
Even in the daylight the cliff was easy to overlook; the snow that covered everything blurred the lines. Kirk only knew it was there because before him Spock stopped and looked down.
“I found him,” he declared, in the same voice he used to read out the data of a scan. The captain walked up to him without hurry and only distantly aware that his hands were balled to fists at his side.
Suddenly, Spock jumped down. He grabbed the edge of the rock for a moment, then let go. Kirk came just in time to see him reach the ground about ten metres below in three or four controlled falls.
Lacking the Vulcan’s strength and agility, there was no chance for Kirk to get down there. He watched Spock run to Bones who was lying on the ground and not moving and wasn’t worried. Bones wasn’t dead. He wouldn’t die because of something stupid like this.
It was unthinkable.
So Kirk couldn’t quite explain why his hand was trembling when he flipped open his communicator and called for Sulu to pick them up with the shuttle.
-
Leonard was conscious when Spock reached him, but barely aware of his surroundings. He showed no reaction to Spock’s voice. Despite his broken leg and dislocated shoulder, he must have kept moving for hours after the fall, until his strength finally ran out. It had saved him from freezing to death.
When they were in the Shuttle and Leonard was wrapped in Spock’s coat instead of his own wet one and pulled safely against the Vulcan’s warm body, it worried Spock that he was not shivering or feeling any pain from his injuries. He blinked slowly and then closed his eyes, not opening them again. Spock held him a little tighter, grasped his cold, limp hand.
“It seems I lied to you, though I was no aware of it at the time,” he admitted, not caring that Kirk and Sulu were able to hear. “Were you to die, even if it was your wish, I would not be able to stand by and let you go. I see your point now.”
Leonard’s head rolled on Spock’s shoulder with every change of direction the Shuttle made.
“I fear I must apologize for my behaviour,” Spock tried again. Beside him, Kirk watched them without blinking, his knuckles showing white under the skin of his hands.
Leonard’s fingers moved weakly in Spock’s grip.
“Then apologize,” he whispered without opening his eyes, “and promise I won’t have to sleep on the couch anymore.”
Slowly, Spock let out the breath he had not been aware he was holding. “We have no couch,” he pointed out.
“Knew there was something missing tonight.” Leonard’s voice grew weaker with every word. “Besides you, of course…”
“We do, however, have a bed.” This time, it did not worry Spock (much) when he got no reply.
He knew that eventually, he would.
February 14, 2010