Stop testing me on how much I bleed.
Stop testing me on how much I bleed.
Zhou Mi / Sungmin
It was just like any other day in the Super Junior apartment but what was odd now was that they were all crowded in the living room trying to watch some random TV drama that they happened to like. They were all complete or that was what Eeteuk believed in until he had started counting each heads and came to realize there were two missing people - Zhou Mi and Sungmin.
Eeteuk didn’t bothered finding where the two are because as a matter of fact, he knew very well what was happening or at least, what was going to happen. He stood up from his sitting position beside Kyuhyun with a smile and made his way to the kitchen. He opened a bag of chips and prepared some drinks and was on his way back to the living room when a door was smashed closed and then opened again.
Everyone was surprise to see a raging Sungmin exit his room and following him just behind was the new Chinese member, Zhou Mi who looked like he was trying his best to maintain not to burst in a fit. They both disappeared onto the kitchen and each heads that were present in the living room started to tilt in every direction possible - asking everyone what was happening.
Sungmin was standing in the kitchen - just in front of the refrigerator when he felt fingers snaked up to touch his wrist and he was pulled to a direction that made him face the younger. Zhou Mi was standing there in front of Sungmin, a hand wrapped on that certain pale boney wrist and his eyes were directly looking onto those brown huge orbs that always harbored thousands of emotions which he couldn’t distinguish.
“I’m sorry.”
Sungmin snorted as soon as those two words were processed in his mind. He didn’t knew if he should still believe such words because honestly, it was miraculously overused and he just wants to stop hearing it because it doesn’t make any sense - no, not anymore.
“Tell me, what are you sorry about? What is it now?”
“Minnie, please don’t use that tone with me.” Sungmin glared at Zhou Mi with disgust and pain mixing like Tequila and lime in his throat - burning his body onto surprisingly unwanted temperature. “Minnie-“
“What am I to you, Zhou Mi? Honestly, please tell me honestly because I am tired of being just a fucked up doll for you.”
“You were never a fucked up doll for me.”
“Really?” Sungmin said - a bitter smile coming from his lips as he tried to blink back his tears and just like that he pulled his wrist from Zhou Mi’s grip and he stalked out of the kitchen and into the living room. Zhou Mi was about to grab him again but he stopped and turned around to face the Chinese member once again. “Truth to be told, you treat me like one and I am tired of it - I’m tired of pretending it doesn’t hurt, I’m tired of understanding you and most of all… I’m tired of being your second choice.”
“You were never a second choice for me and you yourself know it. I left everything I have in China for you-“
“And your actually bringing up that now?! I have told you not to do it, Zhou Mi, so you have no right to blame that on me.”
With that, Sungmin had slammed his bedroom door close leaving a dazed Zhou Mi together with the other members but somehow it was weird because Zhou Mi had never felt so alone in his entire living - no, not until now.
- - -
It was dinner time when Hankyung had decided to send Zhou Mi to call Sungmin and of course, everyone knew his secret motive there and because Zhou Mi just felt so weak not to say yes and he actually thinks it was the right thing as well - he went to knock thrice on the wooden door frame and he heard a mumble from the inside and he accepted that as a yes.
He was greeted with darkness and tension as he slipped inside the pink and blue shaded room and he had noted the body lying in the pink velvet quilt. He walked his way there and was surprised that he was greeted with a big hug.
Pale arms that seemed to glow in the darkness came to wrap up in his neck and no fool was going to refuse this. He had hugged back the other and buried his face onto the other’s neck and breathed in the scent he had missed over the hours. He heard the other sniff and he knew well that the other had shed bucket of tears and once again, it was because of him.
“I never meant to blame it on you.”
“I’m sorry I shouted but it’s just that I was so frustrated about everything and it hurts so much.”
“I won’t do that again, bunny.” Zhou Mi unlatched his self from the other’s shaking figure and he moved his fingers up to that small face and wiped away the trail of those bitter tears. He had to bite his lip because he knew it was his entire fault but somehow, he cannot bring his self to feel enormously guilty but he was indeed sorry. “Forgive me, please. I never knew my actions hurt you liked that.”
“Stop testing me on how much I bleed.” Zhou Mi nodded and enveloped the other’s petite form onto his tanned arms and he kissed the other’s jaw - a chaste innocent kiss that made Sungmin snuggle up closer. “I’m tired of being your plaything.”
“You’re not my plaything.”
Sungmin was the one who unlatched his self now and he looked at Zhou Mi lovingly and brought up his shaking fingers to trace the other’s features and he felt melancholic, nostalgic even, as he tried his best not to cry because the feeling of something ending was burning up in the pit of his stomach. He leaned in closer as he placed a kiss onto the Zhou Mi’s mouth and for the first time - there kiss wasn’t heated of lust filled - for the first time, the kiss felt like a kiss.
“I can’t always bleed for you, Mimi. I can’t.”
With those words thrown at Zhou Mi, he immediately felt his heart crack and he swear he had gone deaf and numb at that kind of pain. Sungmin had stood up and left him sitting there in the fluffy quilt that made him felt colder because memories of him and Sungmin had started to flash back and forth onto his mind and for once, he had never felt so alone.
He had found the certain person he had wanted to spend his life with but then - he had made him bleed, too much even, and it was his fault but how come he cannot bring his self to be guilty? Maybe because he had went numb even before it unfolded in front of his very own eyes.
Started: 01 - 06 - 09
Finished: 01 - 06 - 09