I'm going on tour with the Ulmo in Furs as the opening act.

( Pictures of me tarted up: )

Grima you fucker - my husband and I, after much discussion and deliberation have decided to sentence you to eternity in the fucking dwarf ward.

Enjoy, you fucking weasel.

( Read more... )

I'm with my sister on a similar thread. As you're avoiding toasting trees and Samwise Gamgee, I would like to voice:

ANYONE WHO TRIES TO HARM MY PRECIOUS ELROHIR AND HIS FUCKING FAMILY AS WELL AS MY COOKIE-OFFERING SAMARITAN IS GOING TO FUCKING GET HOSES SHOVED UP THEIR FUCKING COLLECTIVE FIRE-HUMPING ASSES AND THEN I'M GOING TO FUCKING DRAIN THE ( Read more... )

Judging by the way your life is going now... you've earned yourself a season pass into Middle-Earth, compliments of the secretaries at the Halls not wanting to deal with your shit of constantly being killed on us.

Just show your ID upon entrance at the Halls and you'll be re-directed back from whence you came.

I've had enough. I don't care that Middle-Earth is currently still waterlogged. I'm fucking sending people back whether they like it or not.

YOU: OUT. I won't have you terrifying the others by smashing chairs over their heads. UNACCEPTABLE.

YOU: I WILL NOT HAVE YOU CHASING THE HOBBITS WITH FRYING PANS. UNACCEPTABLE. OUT ( Read more... )

*stares and shrieks*

*grabs the husband and runs off to throw the gates of Mandos open*

FUCK.

I think Araw and Nessa broke into the Tower of London and confiscated several dozen instruments of torture. Oh dear.

And the dead keep escaping. Dammit.

I need someone who's able to keep them from running off. Anyone interested?

I am concerned over the welfare of Nessa. Though V

Sometimes when I find a piece of creative work so striking, it has to go into my tapestries in black and gold thread - words can create ache from someone who had never seen blood shed on the fields. You're always sending those into battle with thoughts of propaganda as diamonds - tradition which still runs through all of your mighty kingdoms ( Read more... )