A Fools Folly
CHAPTER 1
The daylight shone brightly, the wind blowing calmly. the atmosphere serene and nostalgic, like the spring blossoms, like a home cooked meal, like a song. if time could stand still then i wished it would have stopped now. but alas that is just wishful thinking, foolish muttering of a faint heart.
" Appa" i cried out in my shrill voice, unable to contain the excitement within. My eyes brim with pride and joy, hand fluttering about in excitement, mouth unable to stop squeaking. running towards a man, whose face once beautiful now looked tired and worn out by the harsh work of toiling soil and plowing field. i once again called out to him this time pulling out a small creature wrapped underneath the sleeves of my robe.
"Appa look Mimi's wings are fluttering. She's gonnna be alright now neh?!" My father's hearty laughter echoing beautifully like a song, no, it was not a song it was music. Some how even if i was just a child i wanted to capture it and store that treasure deep inside my heart that it would never be lost, never be distant. that beautiful sound of my beautiful father. if the wind was clay i would have made a sculpture of his voice. if stars were joy, then his eyes were salvation. the sincere happiness shining in his eyes looked purer than the clouds or the morning dew. it had tranquility and peace that even Zen couldn't preach.
If time could stand still then how i wish it would have stopped then.
the bird in my hand fluttered about spreading its wings. my father removed the bandage around its wings. the injured bird had healed, its now ready for flight. i realized it would go faraway from me, this bird that i has nurtured would no longer be by my side and this brought tears to my eyes and in a stubborn fit to keep it with me i clutched at it harder not wanting to let go.
" Su-ya let the poor creature breath little one, you are suffocating it." "No, don't want. I love mimi" *sniff* He carried me onto his arms and said " my baby, if you love some one then you wouldn't want them to suffer right?" " No, su will take care of mimi, like su took care of her wings...please let me keep her appa." " Honey, a bird is born to fly, and humans are born to walk, if you don't let her fly it will be the same thing as cutting away her wings. that will be sad right? to be free is like breathing the fresh air and living in warmth, everyone needs it, without it living would be like eating a bitter fruit.
" But Junsu will miss mimi." "Aah...don't worry, i am sure mimi will visit us." he bent down to take a few flowered stems and weaved a ring " here tie this ring to mimi's ankle with the cloth. now when mimi comes back we will know her."
Watching mimi fly to sky embracing her freedom, my father showed me the essence of life. he found happiness in things that seemed small and uneventful. this peaceful man took his peaceful rest that night, stealing away our happiness.
no matter how much i begged or how much my mother cried he didn't want to wake.it broke my heart to see my mother's tear filled face. she looked wrecked and lost. she felt suffocated as the world closed in on her, shut every door in her face, trapping her in a cage faraway from her loved one, her soul-mate.
i find fining love is like finding a needle in a haystack and finding love like theirs is like counting stars in the night sky.
even though my father was a poor farmer he never made my mother toil with work. he would say her hands were too small and dainty that a plough wouldn't fit it, that it would only fit into his palms. she would always protest and want to go with him to work in the fields. he would say to her "your feet are too soft and there are too many stone in the fields it might tear your feet." " but honey we should work hard together" my mother would say. " then you should work hard at home and wait for me, if you come to the fields the sun will kiss your skin and taint its milky pureness. My love stay at home and wait for me, i will be back to love you."
to see the woman my father treasured and love crying her heart and soul out was heart-breaking. i swore to grow up faster and treasure her the way he treasured her, protect her the way he protected her.
but that to became wishful thinking, nothing but a fools folly. for one does not become a man in a day and a woman can not protect herself like a man. i had wanted my sole existence to be for my mother, but instead i became her hindrance, i became her downfall.
in order to protect me from the evil clutches of our landlord my beautiful mother scarified her life and body. he threw her to a court and collected his debts after he had done with her. she walked into the lions den to protect me from being torn apart. i hated my existence in that instance and i hated my face, the face that men wanted without even regarding that i was only a child or a boy for that matter. those vile creatures, someday i will make them pay for what they had done to my mother. for chopping her wings and trapping her in this caged whore house. for stealing away my life and for making it dog food, i will make them pay. i will mend my mother's wings and set her free. i will show her that she is more precious than the treasures in the kings palace.
this was a promise that i made to myself as a child, now i am 17 years of age. this promise keeps looking more and more like a mirage. the closer i get the further it seems, crushing my hopes. every time i planned to escape from this wretched place i get caught and the punishment is given to my mother. i cant bear it. soon i learned to stop trying that method. i feel like i have reached a dead end. i feel like i am hanging from a cliff, what would happen if i let go?
the men who visit my mother are beasts, at the end she is torn to shreds. i know the only thing stopping her from slitting her wrists is me. what a funny thing life is, we both seem to want to protect each other and yet both of us keep hurting.
she is fighting to protect my youth from the vile men but she doesn't know that it kills me and rips me apart when i realize what she has to do, the cost of my innocence.
there has to be some way, any way out of this misery. my strength weakened after years of trying to find freedom but my hope and will is not lost. i must think. i must save the only thing in this world that is worth living for.
Okay chapter one is done. i hope you like it. the next chapter may or may not have other characters like jae and chun....but the plot will move forward so we can get to the romance quickly lol. i hope you didnt find my writing style too draggy and confusing. i didnt edit it so please bear with me if there are any errors and if there are no caps after every period.