Fic: Alone
Fic: Alone
Pairing: Unfulfilled HHr, R/Hr married
Summary: Harry and Hermione dance around admitting the feelings they have for each other. Angstily.
Rating: PG
(The italics are supposed to be text messages.)
Alone
“I'll be there at 6:30 sharp, mum, don't worry. See you tonight. ” She hung up.
Hermione's cousin Hannah was having a birthday party tonight, and Hermione felt obligated to go. She would be the only magical person there, and she wasn't quite sure how to act. Ron, for some inexplicable reason, had insisted that he was not going. Hermione wasn't looking forward to going alone. Her mother always looked at her a little sadly when she came alone, and asked after Harry with a pointed expression.
Hermione pulled out the cell phone she had finally consented to buying, when the magical community's lack of instantaneous communication technology became a burden.
I wish you were here. Ron insists on staying home, but it would be nice to have some company tonight.
Hermione tried to ignore the pang of guilt she felt as she hit “send.” She went back to picking out her outfit. As she was pulling on her dress pants, her phone vibrated and fell off the edge of the table. Leaning down to pick it up, she saw the tiny picture of Harry on the caller ID.
I wish I was there to keep you company. Wish I wasn't stuck here.
“Here” was at the Burrow, with Ginny. Ever since they had gotten back together, it seemed the only time Hermione saw Harry was at Weasley family gatherings. She could tell from watching them together he was unhappy, but there was nothing she could do about it. Ginny was Ron's sister, after all, and Harry his best friend; Ron would be pretty upset with her if he found out she had ruined their prospects of being one big happy family.
Hermione made herself put on a smile.
I understand, you are where you belong; I just miss you.
She hesitated over the last phrase, but closed her eyes and hit send. She always felt she was skirting close to that invisible line she knew it would be disastrous to cross. But lately, it felt like Harry was skirting pretty close to that line as well; maybe it was just her imagination.
No, where you are tonight is where I belong: alone. I wish for your sake Ron was a better husband.
Hermione's heart pounded. Until she read the word “alone,” she had thought he meant something else entirely. He wanted her to be happy, sure. But he wanted her to be happy with Ron.
Look at us: You have Ginny and you want to be alone. I'm alone even though I have Ron. We're a mess.
Hermione could not understand why Harry always said he wanted to be alone. At first, she was glad to hear him say he wished he could break up with Ginny. She held some small hope that he felt something for her, even though she knew it wasn't true. But the more he insisted he was meant to be a bachelor, the worse she felt.
It was a strange feeling, being heartbroken because someone you weren't allowed to want didn't want you. Hermione told herself she was not in love with Harry. She could not be in love with Harry, because she was married. She loved Ron. At least, she couldn't say she didn't love Ron.
Maybe if you and Ron weren't married...I don't know. It seems strange to think about loving a girl as much as I love you guys, even though it is a different kind of love.
Again Hermione wondered if he was trying to tell her something without really telling her, or if her mind was trying to convince her heart that was the case, so it wouldn't break. Hermione knew she would regret what she was about to say, but she said it anyway.
If Ron and I weren't married, neither one of us would have to be alone.
***
Harry stared at his phone. He had told Hermione he wanted to be alone. It was true, he supposed. But only because being alone was the next best alternative to being with her. He was sure he hadn't let on, though. How could she know? Did she know? Or was she just being brave, saying what she had said, unaware of his feelings? Maybe she was more of a Gryffindor than he would ever be. Anyone could be brave when the alternative was dying anyway. It took real, true courage to admit feelings you had spent years hiding away. Harry wasn't sure he had that kind of courage.
But you are.
Pairing: Unfulfilled HHr, R/Hr married
Summary: Harry and Hermione dance around admitting the feelings they have for each other. Angstily.
Rating: PG
(The italics are supposed to be text messages.)
Alone
“I'll be there at 6:30 sharp, mum, don't worry. See you tonight. ” She hung up.
Hermione's cousin Hannah was having a birthday party tonight, and Hermione felt obligated to go. She would be the only magical person there, and she wasn't quite sure how to act. Ron, for some inexplicable reason, had insisted that he was not going. Hermione wasn't looking forward to going alone. Her mother always looked at her a little sadly when she came alone, and asked after Harry with a pointed expression.
Hermione pulled out the cell phone she had finally consented to buying, when the magical community's lack of instantaneous communication technology became a burden.
I wish you were here. Ron insists on staying home, but it would be nice to have some company tonight.
Hermione tried to ignore the pang of guilt she felt as she hit “send.” She went back to picking out her outfit. As she was pulling on her dress pants, her phone vibrated and fell off the edge of the table. Leaning down to pick it up, she saw the tiny picture of Harry on the caller ID.
I wish I was there to keep you company. Wish I wasn't stuck here.
“Here” was at the Burrow, with Ginny. Ever since they had gotten back together, it seemed the only time Hermione saw Harry was at Weasley family gatherings. She could tell from watching them together he was unhappy, but there was nothing she could do about it. Ginny was Ron's sister, after all, and Harry his best friend; Ron would be pretty upset with her if he found out she had ruined their prospects of being one big happy family.
Hermione made herself put on a smile.
I understand, you are where you belong; I just miss you.
She hesitated over the last phrase, but closed her eyes and hit send. She always felt she was skirting close to that invisible line she knew it would be disastrous to cross. But lately, it felt like Harry was skirting pretty close to that line as well; maybe it was just her imagination.
No, where you are tonight is where I belong: alone. I wish for your sake Ron was a better husband.
Hermione's heart pounded. Until she read the word “alone,” she had thought he meant something else entirely. He wanted her to be happy, sure. But he wanted her to be happy with Ron.
Look at us: You have Ginny and you want to be alone. I'm alone even though I have Ron. We're a mess.
Hermione could not understand why Harry always said he wanted to be alone. At first, she was glad to hear him say he wished he could break up with Ginny. She held some small hope that he felt something for her, even though she knew it wasn't true. But the more he insisted he was meant to be a bachelor, the worse she felt.
It was a strange feeling, being heartbroken because someone you weren't allowed to want didn't want you. Hermione told herself she was not in love with Harry. She could not be in love with Harry, because she was married. She loved Ron. At least, she couldn't say she didn't love Ron.
Maybe if you and Ron weren't married...I don't know. It seems strange to think about loving a girl as much as I love you guys, even though it is a different kind of love.
Again Hermione wondered if he was trying to tell her something without really telling her, or if her mind was trying to convince her heart that was the case, so it wouldn't break. Hermione knew she would regret what she was about to say, but she said it anyway.
If Ron and I weren't married, neither one of us would have to be alone.
***
Harry stared at his phone. He had told Hermione he wanted to be alone. It was true, he supposed. But only because being alone was the next best alternative to being with her. He was sure he hadn't let on, though. How could she know? Did she know? Or was she just being brave, saying what she had said, unaware of his feelings? Maybe she was more of a Gryffindor than he would ever be. Anyone could be brave when the alternative was dying anyway. It took real, true courage to admit feelings you had spent years hiding away. Harry wasn't sure he had that kind of courage.
But you are.