Heh.. I graduated the year before this song, but it's still amusing (and true)
The Sunscreen song - Everybody's Free...
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas
the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years youll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a
way you cant grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous
you really looked.Youre not as fat as you imagine.
Dont worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real
troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried
mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Dont be reckless with other peoples hearts, dont put up with people
who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Dont waste your time on jealousy; sometimes youre ahead, sometimes
youre behind, the race is long, and in the end, its only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Dont feel guilty if you dont know what you want to do with your
life the most interesting people I know didnt know at 22 what they wanted to do
with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still dont.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, youll miss them when theyre gone.
Maybe youll marry, maybe you wont, maybe youll have children, maybe you wont,
maybe youll divorce at 40, maybe youll dance the funky chicken on
your 75th wedding anniversary what ever you do, dont congratulate yourself
too much or berate yourself either your choices are half chance, so
are everybody elses. Enjoy your body, use it every way you candont be
afraid of it, or what other people think of it, its the greatest instrument
youll ever own..
Dance - even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you dont follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people
most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the
older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do youll fantasize that
when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and
children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Dont expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might
run out.
Dont mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the
past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and
recycling it for more than its worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas
the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years youll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a
way you cant grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous
you really looked.Youre not as fat as you imagine.
Dont worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real
troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried
mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Dont be reckless with other peoples hearts, dont put up with people
who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Dont waste your time on jealousy; sometimes youre ahead, sometimes
youre behind, the race is long, and in the end, its only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Dont feel guilty if you dont know what you want to do with your
life the most interesting people I know didnt know at 22 what they wanted to do
with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still dont.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, youll miss them when theyre gone.
Maybe youll marry, maybe you wont, maybe youll have children, maybe you wont,
maybe youll divorce at 40, maybe youll dance the funky chicken on
your 75th wedding anniversary what ever you do, dont congratulate yourself
too much or berate yourself either your choices are half chance, so
are everybody elses. Enjoy your body, use it every way you candont be
afraid of it, or what other people think of it, its the greatest instrument
youll ever own..
Dance - even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you dont follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people
most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the
older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do youll fantasize that
when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and
children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Dont expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might
run out.
Dont mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the
past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and
recycling it for more than its worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen