Log: Yukimura, Tezuka

[tezuka_k]

Rating: G
Summary: Following their telephone conversation, Tezuka decides to take up Yukimura's offer.


The sky was beginning to darken when the doors were opened for Tezuka, and he stepped into the clan building. A servant offered to help him with his bag, and for once Tezuka accepted the help, for he had a destination in mind. Stopping only long enough to say thank you, he walked down the hall and took the elevator up, towards Yukimura's office.

There was no rational reason for him to need to see Yukimura immediately, perhaps apart from the fact that his blood was yearning for Yukimura's kiss, but that wasn't something rational either, if Tezuka thought about it. But still, Yukimura had told him to come back, and he had done so, so it was only natural to look for the clan leader right away.

Tezuka sighed silently. He should learn to stop dissecting everything to death.

The secretary... Amber, Tezuka recalled after a brief pause, looked up at him when he arrived outside the office, and he made a gesture for her to be quiet. It was likely that Yukimura had already detected his presence, but there was a chance that the vampire was too busy to notice. The woman looked confused but simply shrugged as she watched Tezuka knock on Yukimura's door.

There was something about financial statements that dulled even vampire senses, and little more than a 'Come in' greeted Tezuka's knock. Yukimura sat at his desk, the clear glasses long since a casualty and neatly folded to one side of the paperwork mountain. Despite the obvious amount of work, the muted purple tie he wore remained snugly Windsor-knotted around his neck, neat as can be. The recent acquisition of a publicly-traded company by his firm had meant stockholders meetings to prepare for, and while he had financial analysts to do this sort of work, being the boss meant the ultimate responsibility was his. Thus, the endless array of financial statements.

"My apologies," Yukimura said as he slowly stood, eyes still on his desk and the words rolling in his mouth like delicate, airy candies, "but I am in the middle of..." His voice silenced as the vampire at last lifted his head, exotic eyes wide. "Mijo..." Preternatural speed took him from behind the desk to cool marble weight against Tezuka's front in a heartbeat, arms tightly wrapped around the feeder and holding him, breathing him in and savoring the scent of his presence.

"Welcome home, mijo."

It was Yukimura who was supposed to be surprised, but Tezuka was the one who tensed up in surprise when the vampire moved so quickly and suddenly, and he felt himself being held in the tight embrace. It reminded him of Niou, but he immediately pushed the thought out of his mind. Comfortable yet uneasy, he simply let himself be held, unsure what attitude he should adopt towards Yukimura. He barely knew Yukimura at all, yet...

Thank you. Hesitant arms finally found themselves around the vampire. Tezuka looked over Yukimura's shoulder, and took in the sight of the paper mountain. There was obviously a lot of work needing to be done and he had disrupted Yukimura right in the middle of it. "I just wanted to let you know that I've come back. I'll come again when you're not busy." He said, his arms once again dropping to his sides.

A short litany of thoughts hummed between vampire and human, Yukimura holding securely to Tezuka, slender hands stroking up and down his back. I've missed you, you look wonderful, did you come straight here, are you tired, I'm so glad you're home. When Tezuka's arms fell from him, Yukimura took a small step backwards, silencing Tezuka's polite withdrawal with a finger pressed to the feeder's lips and a tiny, negating shake of his head.

Eyes not leaving Tezuka's, the clan leader stepped backwards, resting his hip against his desk and touching the intercom button on his phone. "Amber," he said, the lilt in his voice vampire through and through, compelling obedience via sound. "Cancel everything for the rest of today. And go home. Something far more important than work has come up." There was no protest on the line, merely a soft 'aah' before it went dead. He did not often display power, but there were reasons why Yukimura helmed this clan.

"I am suddenly without work to do, mijo." Tilting his head, Yukimura spread his hands elegantly. "Please, join me?"

It took him a moment to understand what Yukimura meant, but once he did, Tezuka let himself be led, his hand in Yukimura's, to the elevator. If he wanted to protest about Yukimura putting off work for his sake, he would. But he did not want to. If he was to be honest, he had hoped for this to happen. Lips pressed firmly together, he said nothing as the elevator took them up, not even to answer any of Yukimura's questions. There was only one thing in his mind at that moment and it must be done before he could engage in any sort of communication.

When the doors opened to Yukimura's suite, Tezuka toed off his shoes and stepped on the plush carpet. Memories of time spent in this room, months ago, surfaced before his eyes and sent a shiver down his spine. He could not wait any longer.

Yukimura. It probably was totally undignified, the way he nearly threw himself at the vampire, but this was still better than losing his mind. Drink from me. Please.

Yukimura knew. He knew the moment his eyes met Tezuka's over the desk. Knew in the quiet eternity that passed in the elevator when he filled the space between them with words and questions. Had known since their conversation on the phone, suspected in the brief comments exchanged before then. When Tezuka returned, he would need feeding. Not for physical reasons, though millennia had taught Yukimura that human psychological needs could manifest as physical quite easily. No. This was a far deeper and far greater need.

The clan leader's pale, slim hand rose, stroking the pulse in Tezuka's throat as Yukimura watched him with fathomless eyes. Kunimitsu. If it was possible, the way Yukimura's thoughts enunciated the name had grown more elegant, more intimate in the intervening time. Mijo. You honor me in giving over your need to my care.

The eyes, far too beautiful to be human, delved deeper into him, unraveling bit by bit the constructs placed around Tezuka's being in his absence. An arm, slender, strong, slipped its way around Tezuka's waist, bringing his body flush against the vampire's, cradling him despite Tezuka's greater height. I will taste you, I will feast on you, and I will devour you. There was no threat or malice in the psychic words, only assurance, confidence, and a red thread of something that escaped immediate definition.

Yukimura tilted his head back, curls sliding from his forehead, and smiled, showing sharp teeth that had not been visible before, hypnotic as the mysterious eyes that seemed to swirl as they pulled Tezuka down into their whirlpool. Relax, mijo. If you ever fall, I will catch you. His free hand cupped the back of Tezuka's head, fingers deeply laced into amber-bronze hair, and the vampire struck; not with a roar but a whisper, a secret breathed across Tezuka's neck as his teeth sank home, drawing blood deeply.

The world slipped away like water through the gaps of Tezuka's fingers and he fell with it, melting against Yukimura's ice-cold body, almost horrible but not quite. He tried to hold on to this feeling, only to be drawn deeper into the quicksand, so his fingers clawed, grabbing and bunching the vampire's wool suit, yet he continued to slip, not from Yukimura's grasp but from reality. He had missed this. For months he had denied himself the very thing that he was born for as he went in search for inner peace, but now he was home and Yukimura had welcomed him with open arms and here he was, supported by preternatural strength because his knees had given out at some point. Tezuka did not care anymore; he should allow himself to be reckless every now and then. It was something he had learned during the time away from the clan, that he had held on to reason too tightly and his world had begun to crack and splinter at the edges under the pressure.

And he thought too much. Perhaps it was true that he still knew next to nothing about Yukimura, but he let go anyway, finally, hoping the vampire would catch him.

Catch him Yukimura did, his deceptively strong arm looped into the arch of Tezuka's back, palm pressed like a bridge across the valley of human spine. Deeper, deeper Yukimura drank, draining the tensions of lonely months and the anxieties of being accepted again in this place. Perhaps archaic medicine had been partially right about the benefits of bloodletting?

Yet, even as he took, the vampire gave back. Reassurance. Comfort. A possessive, fierce ownership and protection, marking this one as his. Despite technically belonging to another, in moments such as this Tezuka was Yukimura's alone, a state of being the clan leader sought to make permanent.

I've missed you. And he had. Circumstances had confined Yukimura to primarily one feeder while he loaned another to Mizuki, and though D'Angelo's blood was potent, he craved a bit of variety. Had gone to bed a few nights with the illusionary taste of Tezuka on his tongue, waiting for the day when he would return.

Gradually, Yukimura lowered Tezuka onto the bed, knowing his head had to be spinning. He had taken a lot of blood rather fast; even a feeder would be dizzy and light-headed. His fangs slipped free from Tezuka's throat and he licked the wounds closed until they disappeared. "Lie still, mijo, don't try to get up too fast." I don't want to let you go yet.

The feeding left Tezuka in a state of euphoria, and he did not even feel his body sinking into the bed. But the world had turned right angles around him and Yukimura's face was hovering above his own. He made a sound in his throat in answer to Yukimura's words, for a moment finding speech and even telepathy too much to handle. The only thing he wanted to do, and managed to do, was smile.

Soft light bled in from the curtains, dappling its way across Yukimura's face to match the warm, tender expression he wore. Slender fingers, nearly human temperature with blood flowing through them, ghosted across Tezuka's lips, committing that precious smile to a private place in memory. Rather than a difficulty, like Tezuka's at the moment, Yukimura refrained from speech because he felt such things as words would intrude upon this frozen time, time he wanted to stretch out and stop, just for a little while. He felt...strangely giddy, relieved to the core of his being, and wholly content.

This must be, he thought to himself, how a parent feels when his child comes home safely after being lost.

The vampire, his fingers still caressing Tezuka's lips, laid down next to him, pillowing his curly head on Tezuka's shoulder, warm breath kissing the junction of throat. "You're heavier," he finally said, his other hand having taken a path down Tezuka's chest and stomach, finding the flesh no longer so spare and the bones no longer so evident. "Healthier. Thank you, for taking care of yourself, for making yourself matter." His words faintly glowed in the air around them, lit with pride and power and more of that strange relief.

"May I...?" Yukimura paused, not wanting to spook Tezuka and not sure if such things really should be given voice, even to a feeder who had touched him to the soul, then continued on. "May I just lie here with you for a while and listen to you breathe? I'm afraid I missed you far more than I knew."

There could have been many ways to respond to Yukimura's request, but in the end Tezuka merely relaxed into the bed, allowing the vampire half-resting on top of him to meld together with him. Warmth seeped through layers of clothing, from vampire to human, from human to vampire, as if a manifestation of their feelings for each other, not one of romantic love but one of deep, infinite caring that went beyond just vampire and feeder.

After resting for a minute, Tezuka was still light-headed, but at least the world no longer threatened to spin. Turning onto his side, he pressed his forehead onto the crook of Yukimura's shoulder. Never in his life had he felt so protected, so wanted.

"No. Thank you." For letting me go so that I can come back, better and stronger. "If... if you haven't changed your mind about that offer," There could be no mistake to what Tezuka was referring to. He took a deep breath before continuing, yet his words came out as a whisper. "if you'd still have me... I'm ready."

"I haven't changed my mind, mijo." The words fell like tiny pearls over Tezuka's skin, nacreous and smooth, without any edge. "This is not a decision I made rashly or lightly. I want to take you as my own, completely."

"However," Yukimura admitted, "the process is a little complicated and requires some preparation time. Would that I could snip your current bond and make you mine today." His deep eyes turned wistful, slender hand now resting against Tezuka's cheek. "What I think we most need to facilitate bonding is time together. Like this; just lying here with you."

In truth, Yukimura had all he needed for the ceremony to be a success, but the extra time with Tezuka was the insurance the transfer needed. "Will two weeks be too long?"

Tezuka rolled onto his back, away from the vampire. Wait? Could Yukimura have... no, what was he thinking. Yukimura could not have used the transfer as an excuse to coax him to come back. Just for his blood, like all the other vampires. No. He was not worth all this trouble.

"Is the wait absolutely necessary?" Tezuka asked, his gaze fixed to the ceiling, not wanting to look at the other vampire in the eye. If Yukimura really wanted him, why should they wait two weeks? Two weeks was too long a time, enough for Tezuka to hesitate and change his mind. And it had already taken so much courage to come back, even more to say he was ready for it...

Absently, Yukimura tucked his hair behind one ear, the curls tickling against the lobe. "No," he admitted, not wanting to lie about this. "It is not necessary. I have the skill and the power to do it, and I have been preparing for this since I asked you. What concerns me is that you could feel pressured, or unable to speak up if this is not what you truly want."

Yukimura's hand slid over Tezuka's stomach, two fingers wiggling in between the buttons so they could touch skin and caress the crater's edge of his navel. "I also don't want you to feel you're trading one empty bond for another, sealing your life once more to a vampire you barely know. I do not bond lightly, nor do I bond flippantly. If I take you, there will be no one who can separate you from me."

The rest of Yukimura followed his hand, curling against Tezuka's side again and sensing his pulse, his unease, his doubt. "You have suffered so much pain already as a result of something that should be your support and your strength. I would be sad to feel you believed you had no choice in taking what I wish to give you." He reached for Tezuka, gently guiding his face to where he could look in his eyes, the vampiric color of them almost seeming to swirl and dance. "Truly, I am elated you are here. It makes me feel lighter than air inside. Needed." His lips parted on a beautiful, ethereal smile, just the smallest hint of fang curving down around his lower teeth. "And very young again."

"Mijo." The smile softened, the room growing almost warm with it; temperatures always seemed to respond to Yukimura's moods, as if the very air reflected his heart in it. "If you wish to be mine, right away, before any doubts can cloud what is so clear and pure in your mind now, say it and it will be done."

It tickled, where long fingers danced over Tezuka's skin under the shirt. He breathed out deeply when they bodies pressed together again, knowing that the warmth he was feeling from Yukimura was caused by his own blood, and somehow the concept, more than the vampire's words, reassured him that his decision was the right one.

When Tezuka turned his head, Yukimura's eyes were only inches away, pools of lavender-grey sucking him in. He had to blink several times to focus properly. I am honoured to be offered this. I... thank you for considering so much for me. He began, but had to pause a long time to find his next words. The perfect face was patient, as if the vampire would wait forever if that was how long it took for Tezuka to consider his answer. He wanted to let Yukimura know how special he made him feel, but he could not say it even with telepathy, much less vocal words. It just was not in him to voice his feelings.

I don't feel pressured. Since talking to you on the phone I had spent a long time considering this and- it's true that I barely know you. Tezuka stopped again. He turned himself towards Yukimura, the beautiful stranger he has just shared his blood with. "But I still want to do it. If you sense any doubt in me that's because I don't know anything about the actual process." Is it true that feeders may die doing this? "Even so, I know this is right for me. I want to do it before I... think too much and become afraid."

A fond smile crinkled the corners of Yukimura's mouth, ageless and wise and knowing as it seemed to ghost over Tezuka's skin, across his hair, whisking though his very soul. "I sometimes forget, I think, what it is to be human, to fear and fear death, to bury a decision under a mountain of worry." His fingers, warmed to Tezuka's temperature but still having an indefinable sensation of 'cool' at the tips, traced over the planes of Tezuka's face as they lay together, side by side, face to face. "There is not a lot I can tell you about the actual ceremony, not because I do not know, but more for reasons of tradition and..." he coughed slightly, almost in embarrassment, "...and superstition."

His voice took on the timbre best called 'power', though it was more than simply that; a tone unique to Yukimura, one which called to his people and tugged on that connection, be it direct or indirect. "Rejecting a bond that has already been made requires giving your trust completely to the new vampire who will make you his. Believing that he can dissolve the old bond and remake it anew, linking your life with his. Having faith that he and his power can keep you alive." The vampire's eyes clouded, their color swirling nearly to complete grey. "Which is why so many do not attempt this, and why most who have tried have died. Doubt often becomes stronger than faith in humans and erodes the old and the new bonds like acid. Once bonded, if the bond is dissolved and a new one is not laid in its place, a feeder cannot live." Exactly how feeders died when that happened was a secret Yukimura intended to guard in the tightest reaches of his mind; mijo need never know just what he risked until he fully belonged to the clan leader.

"This is why I wanted to wait, to build your trust it me and help us grow closer. However, I think that you are right and we should proceed before..." before you can change your mind, the vampire thought to himself. He unknotted his tie, pulling it from his throat, and unbuttoned the first two buttons of his dress shirt. The exposed skin was nearly as pale as the shirt itself, bearing just the slightest feeding-flush, and from around his neck Yukimura withdrew an ancient-looking key on a delicate chain. He offered it to Tezuka with a serious smile, seeming almost frozen in his elegant perfection. "If you wish, in your heart of hearts, to be mine more than anything in the world, take this key and use it to access the hotel's sub-basement via the freight elevator on the first floor. Meet me there in two hours, and I will take you as mine forever."

Tezuka held out his hand, and closed his palm around the key. It was heavy, probably made from some kind of special metal, and as terribly cliched as it was, the weight reflected the importance of the decision he was facing. With an arm he pushed himself to sit up on the bed, and lowered his eyes upon the vampire, and suddenly felt an impulse to kiss him, for the choice he was giving Tezuka and for being right here, for wanting to link their lives together. He wanted to do something that could show his gratefulness to this beautiful vampire and blood alone did not feel enough.

Yukimura had not told him everything, but if that was tradition, then Tezuka was not going to demand knowledge. "I should go then, and get ready," he said, his mind blank of everything except for the vampire before him, so beautiful in many ways. He stood, fingers clasped tightly around the key and its metal edgings biting into his flesh. Not waiting for a response, he turned and headed for the elevator, a breath held in his lungs as if that could kept his fears at bay. He did not look back when the elevator arrived to take him back down.

His palm was an angry red, with the shape of the key imprinted into it, when he arrived in his room and opened his hand. Yukimura's voice rang over and over in his mind, soft, delicate yet immensely powerful, speaking of the risk of death or, Tezuka suspected, something even worse, before the final death. Was he going to do this? Did he wish in his heart to bond with Yukimura, more than anything in the world? Yes, but it was not as simple as it seemed. It was true that Tezuka wanted to bond with this vampire more than anything, but it was because he had nothing else to wish for.

In two hours his life was going to be changed forever, yet he could not think of anything that he wanted to do at this moment. He found a pen and some paper, wanting to write something down, yet he could find no words. After a shower and a change of clothes, he sat down at the desk again, pen in hand, and still he had nothing to say.

When the time was up, he took out the plush doll he had bought in Paris, one that looked very much like himself and he intended as a gift for Yukimura, sat it on the desk and left a short note on its lap:

Whatever the outcome, I have no regrets.