"Happy Birthday! This card contains a humorous assessment of your mortality read by a talking bear!"
Is it required for people to be nuts now? Honestly, some days I think I missed some sort of memo...
Thing #1:
The scene is 8:15 Saturday Morning (November 8), at the 46th Street Station. Waiting in a bus shelter, I am approached by some unstable looking woman.
Woman: Excuse me, are you from here? Are you from Minnesota?
Me: I am.
Woman: Have you noticed a problem with people from Minnesota?
Me: ... a problem... such as?
Woman: Haven't you noticed that there is a huge problem with people from Minnesota?!
Me: Er... I've noticed a problem with people in general... not specifically from here.
Woman: Have you ever lived anywhere else?
Me: Very briefly, but...
Woman: Yeah, well, I've lived in 42 different states and I've noticed that Minnesota people have a huge problem, no one else does this. And I'll tell you!
Me: Kay...
Woman: Eavesdropping! People from Minnesota eavesdrop like no one else!
Me: Really.
Woman: Yes... it is a terrible habit, invading other peoples' privacy
Me: 'Tis indeed...
Woman: *Wanders away and proceeds to repeat this to at least four other people waiting at another shelter*
Does eavesdropping include telling any random strangers in sight that people eavesdrop? It really wasn't my business to begin with...
Thing #2
Obama won, so let's shoot our guns and slap a cop! Granted, this is a tiny, tiny group of people, so I'm not exactly worried about some uprising from the bottom. But surely that was traced to a shipment of garlic eclairs? And for those of you jumping to conclusions, ask yourself if it's really any worse than McCain's supporters "boo"ing and calling out "off with his head!". It doesn't even come close.
Thing #3
Obama Won! Let's kill all dem blacks!"
A black guy's our president now. Get the fuck over it, you inbred, backwards pieces of shit. Also, black people aren't slaves anymore. The Civil War ended 150 years ago, get over it. Twatting shete! I cannot even begin to describe how much I hate these web toed goat-fucking hillbillies who think they're better than everyone just because they're white. I can't even begin to properly express my desire that these small-minded cretins be gathered into one location and then ground into fertilizer. Most of these incidents are in the South, of course... except Maine. What to do with that... I will cast Maine off into the Atlantic, and lo, they shall sink as a stone beneath the waves of the unforgiving sea!
Thing #4
If you're Catholic and you voted for Obama, no communion for you.
ABORTION IS THE ONLY ISSUE YOU SHOULD THINK OF WHEN VOTING. LISTEN TO ME, I'M A BISHOP. Blimey. This is more funny to me than anything, especially the "drinking their own condemnation". Wah ha ha ha.
I think I drank my own condemnation a few nights back... 99 Oranges mixed with Pineapple juice is... an acquired taste.
Thing #5
Beyonce's Single Ladies dance on SNL
I wasn't sure whether to laugh or to run screaming from the room during "Single Lady", as her lightning fast, spastic motions had me convinced I was looking at synchronized dancing with androids. During the first song, she merely looked as though she was having a seizure, and her left boob wanted out (of her dress). I will let Amelie Gillett enlighten you moar...
And is it bad that I sort of... liked... that song? STOP JUDGING ME.
Thing #6
Every single teenage girl in the country has now officially gone batshit insane over "Twilight". Also, their mothers have followed suit. And we now have the term "Twi-moms". If that wasn't bad enough, girls are scratching their necks open before meeting the dude who plays Harry Potter the damn "sexy" vampire, and he's an abstinence vampire. That's enough. All of you.
If you needed proof that this is just Harry Potter with more modern vampires, the dude who played Cedric ("Goblet of Fire", gets killed by the dude who disguised himself as Scabbers) is the evil vampire. Q.E.D.
After I drank some milk about two weekends ago, I got some particularly nasty gaseous sensations. There was some unpleasantness until about Wednesday of that week. That evening, each gaseous... er, fluctuation... sent shooting pains through my intestines down to my *Expletive Deleted*. Funny, last time I checked your intestines aren't connected to the 2 veg... I don't usually worry about my twinges or various what's its, but this time it felt like my kidney ruptured or my intestines went septic. My theory was some sort of blockage. Thus, some pineapple juice was procured. It may have helped, because there was no moar pain after a couple of days. And still no pain a week later.
Interesting Fact: Pineapple juice is the remedy for bunnies when they get hairballs. They cannot expunge it in the way that cats are able to. Isn't science great?
King Gojulas is done. So yeah. You already know of my initial impressions (Big Zoid is biiiiiggggg). I didn't expect it to take very long to build, but I ended up working on it for about 8 hours. Time well spent, and this bugger was worth all ze money and the WillIGetItANGST.
Also, I'd rather not go into the step-by-step as everyone else does, because that ruins teh surprise. You know, the "this bit goes here, then the harbl goes over the wobbly thing, and tadpoles!" Yeah. If you go by the instructions, first you build the torso. This is, not surprisingly, the bulkiest part of the beast, including the motor, the chest compartment, and a gigantic segment at the base of the tail where his wheels attach. Yes, wheels. Next, they want you to attach the head. I did NOT do this when specified, as I needed to paint the teeth. Given that I used Flat White, it would take time to dry between coats and Flat White over anything other than White takes multiple coats. It's just difficult that way. At any rate, I began the limbs. The legs first, and they are not Gildy/Gilvy's elegant simplicity. They are suitably complicated for a bipedal lizard, featuring more complicated articulation. The arms came next, and were considerably more simple. The thumb (yes, he has an opposable thumb) and the entire claw are moveable, but that's about it.
About this time, the teeth were as done as they were going to get, so I decided the King could stand to have his head attached. His head is one of those aughIneedthreefourhands fussy assemblies. You need one hand to hold the half of his head, another to keep his jaw, "canopy", and light unit from escaping, a third hand to keep the wire for said light unit weaving through the bits it's supposed to (y'know, so it doesn't get snipped when the last bit goes on), and a fourth for attaching the other half of the head/neck. The head took me at least 20 minutes, most of it repeated failures to keep the wire in place while I attempted to attach the other half of the head/neck. After the fussiness is done, the King's head slips over the head cylinder, and locks into place with a 90 degree twist. This is another of the King's unique features.
Next comes the levers! A rather elegant system of sturdy levers connects the arms and legs, and also pushes previously installed bars that move the tail. I had a hell of a time figuring out the piece that goes over the arm mechanism, later figuring out that the motor had not reset the arm mounts to their default position after I tested it. Yeah. The King looked rather irritated at still not having his limbs, but I have a thing about assembling Zoids and Gundams before all the sub-assemblies are done. Thus, I began the tail. The tail by itself is rather a simple affair, each segment just comprising two halves. The largest segment felt a bit too hollow for my liking, but there's really nothing to be done. And it's not a load bearing piece, so never mind.
At last, the glorious moment of assemblage. The legs go on over a fairly standard system of pegs that drive all the movement, the arms attach to two pegs on the complicated gizmo there, and the tail is held in place by an unmounted plastic peg. Next, the pieces connecting the tail segments, the fins, and the glorious splash-of-red horn.
The finished beast!
I set him loose in the dining room. He went about his routine, which starts as a standard tail-waving, stomping-forth-swinging-your-arms gait. This part alone is impressive. King Gojulas is INCREDIBLY slow, but with each step, he moves forward with a slight swagger, stomping down confidently but gently and taking his sweet time. He's in no hurry. The tail is not what I expected. It does not move slowly back and forth in a fluid motion like Death Saurer. It's still very smooth, but King Gojulas wags his tail with each step rather suddenly, and it sweeps wide enough to point forward. Considering how pointy it is, he's liable to put out someone's eye.
Part 2 of his infamous routine is even bettar. He stops, his chest lights up, his arms go upwards and out, his mouth drops open and he lets out his roar while moving his head to one side. Reset to default, his head moves to the OTHER side, and he screams again. King G don't need to move fast, anything he can't catch he'll just scream at it and it will fall apart. Upon hearing the King, just about every one of the bunnies nearly wet themselves. I wonder if Guylos had the same problem with their ground forces...
While the King is phenomenally impressive, there are a few trifling problems. He does have a tiny, tiny molding flaw; a small bar of plastic over one of his chest lights is nicked. The King is not very poseable (which is to be expected for a Zoid), though is tail can be posed without turning on the motor. Also, his head and neck are surprisingly wibbly. This did create the effect that he was singing along to "Indestructible" while I was fussing with the levers, as I was listening to the song at the time. Odd, if not entirely appropriate for a beast that was only stopped by having a moon fall on its head. And that was totally a fluke.
Upon having his rampage, King Gojulas went on to sing "Inside the Fire", declare itself master of the dining room, insulted Roscoe, then stormed back into me room, and proceeded to usurp Geno Breaker Pulse's spot (and then some) as Honorary Guard of the Game Tower. Geno Breaker was none too happy about his new perch on the Top Shelf, and he now spends his time nibbling on an OAR Battlestar Galactica Viper, grumbling about the "glory days" or something.
It would be nice to come home and not have people unload on me the minute I walk in the door. Either it's "Meh, do the dishes" or "Bluh, someone annoyed me today, thus I'm going to bitch about it for 10 minutes straight while you stand there with a deer-in-the-headlights look." Jaysus mary begorrah...
I've gone a bit more insane lately, and thus decided that I missed out by avoiding the Crash Bandicoot series. I've ordered the first one, and I see this expanding to most of the remaining games. Cor.
Also, I finally caved and ordered "Suende", by the Eisbrecher. It's not going to get any cheaper, and I feel rather deprived without it.
MY HEADPHONES BROKE. I was trying to get into my seat on the bus, but some wobbly arsed bastard wouldn't MOVE, then the bus lurched away from the stop, putting me off balance, and my backpack got squished between the edge of a seat and my knee. *snap* The plastic band broke. I've already glued it back together, and tomorrow it's going to get some electrical tape. Thus, it seems to be salvageable, but still. Arses.
I was at work a few weeks back, and something odd happened. One piece of that sci-fi thing I've wanted to write (and will never get around to because I'm a lazy bastard) actually began to assemble itself into something coherent. Thus, I just might have to write it up. Teaser: It is spacechip battle. With the guns going boom and the ships going whoosh and the blammo and KERPOW and ZAPZAPZAP and the FLYING WEASELS. It's not all that, there's a bit of descriptiation and strategerizing, so perhaps people will be able to get a sense of context and *gasp* PURPOSE. If you've ever read any battle story fanfictions on DA, or anywhere, you'll get no context. You get nothing except... ergh... I'd hesitate to call it garbage... yeah. My garbage would still look like gilded tits next to the shit these fucking kids crap out on DA... "SONIC BATTLE", "ONOWAIT NAO I DO SONIC BATTLE BUT WIF LOMBAX WHO LOOK LEIK SONIC." AGH. HATES THEM, PRECIOUS.
I think that is all.
Thing #1:
The scene is 8:15 Saturday Morning (November 8), at the 46th Street Station. Waiting in a bus shelter, I am approached by some unstable looking woman.
Woman: Excuse me, are you from here? Are you from Minnesota?
Me: I am.
Woman: Have you noticed a problem with people from Minnesota?
Me: ... a problem... such as?
Woman: Haven't you noticed that there is a huge problem with people from Minnesota?!
Me: Er... I've noticed a problem with people in general... not specifically from here.
Woman: Have you ever lived anywhere else?
Me: Very briefly, but...
Woman: Yeah, well, I've lived in 42 different states and I've noticed that Minnesota people have a huge problem, no one else does this. And I'll tell you!
Me: Kay...
Woman: Eavesdropping! People from Minnesota eavesdrop like no one else!
Me: Really.
Woman: Yes... it is a terrible habit, invading other peoples' privacy
Me: 'Tis indeed...
Woman: *Wanders away and proceeds to repeat this to at least four other people waiting at another shelter*
Does eavesdropping include telling any random strangers in sight that people eavesdrop? It really wasn't my business to begin with...
Thing #2
Obama won, so let's shoot our guns and slap a cop! Granted, this is a tiny, tiny group of people, so I'm not exactly worried about some uprising from the bottom. But surely that was traced to a shipment of garlic eclairs? And for those of you jumping to conclusions, ask yourself if it's really any worse than McCain's supporters "boo"ing and calling out "off with his head!". It doesn't even come close.
Thing #3
Obama Won! Let's kill all dem blacks!"
A black guy's our president now. Get the fuck over it, you inbred, backwards pieces of shit. Also, black people aren't slaves anymore. The Civil War ended 150 years ago, get over it. Twatting shete! I cannot even begin to describe how much I hate these web toed goat-fucking hillbillies who think they're better than everyone just because they're white. I can't even begin to properly express my desire that these small-minded cretins be gathered into one location and then ground into fertilizer. Most of these incidents are in the South, of course... except Maine. What to do with that... I will cast Maine off into the Atlantic, and lo, they shall sink as a stone beneath the waves of the unforgiving sea!
Thing #4
If you're Catholic and you voted for Obama, no communion for you.
ABORTION IS THE ONLY ISSUE YOU SHOULD THINK OF WHEN VOTING. LISTEN TO ME, I'M A BISHOP. Blimey. This is more funny to me than anything, especially the "drinking their own condemnation". Wah ha ha ha.
I think I drank my own condemnation a few nights back... 99 Oranges mixed with Pineapple juice is... an acquired taste.
Thing #5
Beyonce's Single Ladies dance on SNL
I wasn't sure whether to laugh or to run screaming from the room during "Single Lady", as her lightning fast, spastic motions had me convinced I was looking at synchronized dancing with androids. During the first song, she merely looked as though she was having a seizure, and her left boob wanted out (of her dress). I will let Amelie Gillett enlighten you moar...
And is it bad that I sort of... liked... that song? STOP JUDGING ME.
Thing #6
Every single teenage girl in the country has now officially gone batshit insane over "Twilight". Also, their mothers have followed suit. And we now have the term "Twi-moms". If that wasn't bad enough, girls are scratching their necks open before meeting the dude who plays Harry Potter the damn "sexy" vampire, and he's an abstinence vampire. That's enough. All of you.
If you needed proof that this is just Harry Potter with more modern vampires, the dude who played Cedric ("Goblet of Fire", gets killed by the dude who disguised himself as Scabbers) is the evil vampire. Q.E.D.
After I drank some milk about two weekends ago, I got some particularly nasty gaseous sensations. There was some unpleasantness until about Wednesday of that week. That evening, each gaseous... er, fluctuation... sent shooting pains through my intestines down to my *Expletive Deleted*. Funny, last time I checked your intestines aren't connected to the 2 veg... I don't usually worry about my twinges or various what's its, but this time it felt like my kidney ruptured or my intestines went septic. My theory was some sort of blockage. Thus, some pineapple juice was procured. It may have helped, because there was no moar pain after a couple of days. And still no pain a week later.
Interesting Fact: Pineapple juice is the remedy for bunnies when they get hairballs. They cannot expunge it in the way that cats are able to. Isn't science great?
King Gojulas is done. So yeah. You already know of my initial impressions (Big Zoid is biiiiiggggg). I didn't expect it to take very long to build, but I ended up working on it for about 8 hours. Time well spent, and this bugger was worth all ze money and the WillIGetItANGST.
Also, I'd rather not go into the step-by-step as everyone else does, because that ruins teh surprise. You know, the "this bit goes here, then the harbl goes over the wobbly thing, and tadpoles!" Yeah. If you go by the instructions, first you build the torso. This is, not surprisingly, the bulkiest part of the beast, including the motor, the chest compartment, and a gigantic segment at the base of the tail where his wheels attach. Yes, wheels. Next, they want you to attach the head. I did NOT do this when specified, as I needed to paint the teeth. Given that I used Flat White, it would take time to dry between coats and Flat White over anything other than White takes multiple coats. It's just difficult that way. At any rate, I began the limbs. The legs first, and they are not Gildy/Gilvy's elegant simplicity. They are suitably complicated for a bipedal lizard, featuring more complicated articulation. The arms came next, and were considerably more simple. The thumb (yes, he has an opposable thumb) and the entire claw are moveable, but that's about it.
About this time, the teeth were as done as they were going to get, so I decided the King could stand to have his head attached. His head is one of those aughIneedthreefourhands fussy assemblies. You need one hand to hold the half of his head, another to keep his jaw, "canopy", and light unit from escaping, a third hand to keep the wire for said light unit weaving through the bits it's supposed to (y'know, so it doesn't get snipped when the last bit goes on), and a fourth for attaching the other half of the head/neck. The head took me at least 20 minutes, most of it repeated failures to keep the wire in place while I attempted to attach the other half of the head/neck. After the fussiness is done, the King's head slips over the head cylinder, and locks into place with a 90 degree twist. This is another of the King's unique features.
Next comes the levers! A rather elegant system of sturdy levers connects the arms and legs, and also pushes previously installed bars that move the tail. I had a hell of a time figuring out the piece that goes over the arm mechanism, later figuring out that the motor had not reset the arm mounts to their default position after I tested it. Yeah. The King looked rather irritated at still not having his limbs, but I have a thing about assembling Zoids and Gundams before all the sub-assemblies are done. Thus, I began the tail. The tail by itself is rather a simple affair, each segment just comprising two halves. The largest segment felt a bit too hollow for my liking, but there's really nothing to be done. And it's not a load bearing piece, so never mind.
At last, the glorious moment of assemblage. The legs go on over a fairly standard system of pegs that drive all the movement, the arms attach to two pegs on the complicated gizmo there, and the tail is held in place by an unmounted plastic peg. Next, the pieces connecting the tail segments, the fins, and the glorious splash-of-red horn.
The finished beast!
I set him loose in the dining room. He went about his routine, which starts as a standard tail-waving, stomping-forth-swinging-your-arms gait. This part alone is impressive. King Gojulas is INCREDIBLY slow, but with each step, he moves forward with a slight swagger, stomping down confidently but gently and taking his sweet time. He's in no hurry. The tail is not what I expected. It does not move slowly back and forth in a fluid motion like Death Saurer. It's still very smooth, but King Gojulas wags his tail with each step rather suddenly, and it sweeps wide enough to point forward. Considering how pointy it is, he's liable to put out someone's eye.
Part 2 of his infamous routine is even bettar. He stops, his chest lights up, his arms go upwards and out, his mouth drops open and he lets out his roar while moving his head to one side. Reset to default, his head moves to the OTHER side, and he screams again. King G don't need to move fast, anything he can't catch he'll just scream at it and it will fall apart. Upon hearing the King, just about every one of the bunnies nearly wet themselves. I wonder if Guylos had the same problem with their ground forces...
While the King is phenomenally impressive, there are a few trifling problems. He does have a tiny, tiny molding flaw; a small bar of plastic over one of his chest lights is nicked. The King is not very poseable (which is to be expected for a Zoid), though is tail can be posed without turning on the motor. Also, his head and neck are surprisingly wibbly. This did create the effect that he was singing along to "Indestructible" while I was fussing with the levers, as I was listening to the song at the time. Odd, if not entirely appropriate for a beast that was only stopped by having a moon fall on its head. And that was totally a fluke.
Upon having his rampage, King Gojulas went on to sing "Inside the Fire", declare itself master of the dining room, insulted Roscoe, then stormed back into me room, and proceeded to usurp Geno Breaker Pulse's spot (and then some) as Honorary Guard of the Game Tower. Geno Breaker was none too happy about his new perch on the Top Shelf, and he now spends his time nibbling on an OAR Battlestar Galactica Viper, grumbling about the "glory days" or something.
It would be nice to come home and not have people unload on me the minute I walk in the door. Either it's "Meh, do the dishes" or "Bluh, someone annoyed me today, thus I'm going to bitch about it for 10 minutes straight while you stand there with a deer-in-the-headlights look." Jaysus mary begorrah...
I've gone a bit more insane lately, and thus decided that I missed out by avoiding the Crash Bandicoot series. I've ordered the first one, and I see this expanding to most of the remaining games. Cor.
Also, I finally caved and ordered "Suende", by the Eisbrecher. It's not going to get any cheaper, and I feel rather deprived without it.
MY HEADPHONES BROKE. I was trying to get into my seat on the bus, but some wobbly arsed bastard wouldn't MOVE, then the bus lurched away from the stop, putting me off balance, and my backpack got squished between the edge of a seat and my knee. *snap* The plastic band broke. I've already glued it back together, and tomorrow it's going to get some electrical tape. Thus, it seems to be salvageable, but still. Arses.
I was at work a few weeks back, and something odd happened. One piece of that sci-fi thing I've wanted to write (and will never get around to because I'm a lazy bastard) actually began to assemble itself into something coherent. Thus, I just might have to write it up. Teaser: It is spacechip battle. With the guns going boom and the ships going whoosh and the blammo and KERPOW and ZAPZAPZAP and the FLYING WEASELS. It's not all that, there's a bit of descriptiation and strategerizing, so perhaps people will be able to get a sense of context and *gasp* PURPOSE. If you've ever read any battle story fanfictions on DA, or anywhere, you'll get no context. You get nothing except... ergh... I'd hesitate to call it garbage... yeah. My garbage would still look like gilded tits next to the shit these fucking kids crap out on DA... "SONIC BATTLE", "ONOWAIT NAO I DO SONIC BATTLE BUT WIF LOMBAX WHO LOOK LEIK SONIC." AGH. HATES THEM, PRECIOUS.
I think that is all.