Second Chances (Chapter 30a)
Title: Second Chances
Author: VampireMadonna
Pairing: Main: YunJae; Secondary: JaeMin, HoMin
Rating: PG-13
Length: Chaptered
Summary: After Changmin's death, how are Jae and Yunho going to cope with their grief and their increasing attraction to each other?
“Jae!”
Jaejoong jumped awake, frantically looking around as he tried to orient himself. When he recognized his office, he settled back against the plush leather of his chair and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.
“Go. Home,” Stef enunciated, posing casually against his door-frame.
“What time is it?” Jaejoong asked, his voice throaty.
“3:15.”
“Work’s not over yet,” he grumbled.
“You own 34% of the business. You’re the boss, you can do as you please.”
Jaejoong rolled his eyes. It was a common joke between them. Although the intention was to split the business evenly three ways, since it couldn’t be done to the percentage, Stef and Maggie had agreed that Jaejoong should have 34%, since it was his baby, and they would be satisfied with 33% each. Although he never made a big deal about it, Stefan enjoyed rubbing it in his face on occasion. He would even throw around the word “boss” whenever he was feeling particularly mischievous.
Pain in the ass.
“Jae…” Stefan’s tone was serious now. “You’re clearly exhausted. And I know you haven’t been sleeping all that well lately. You should go home. It’s just a few hours until closing. The building won’t crumble if you’re not in it.”
“Fine, fine. Gosh, you nag more than my mother. Or your future wife for that matter, and you can’t get more naggy than her. Or so I thought…” He threw a pointed glare at Stef then moved to gather his things. “I could use a nap, I guess,” he said more reasonably. “I had the strangest dream.”
“Oh? What happened?”
“It’s not so much what happened as who was in it.” He paused to look at Stef as he replayed the dream. “Min was there…and my cat.”
Stefan cocked a brow. “Cat?”
Jaejoong smiled. “Jiji. He died a long time ago. I haven’t dreamt about him in forever but I do think about him occasionally. He was rather standoffish but I think he really loved me. I miss him sometimes.”
“But why was it strange? They knew each other, didn’t they?”
“Well, the thing is, Changmin and Jiji didn’t like each other. Or rather, Jiji hated Min’s guts. I could never understand why but he just couldn’t stand to be around him. So seeing them together was just…weird.” He shrugged. “They seemed happy, though. Well, Min did at least. He was smiling. I’m glad for that. Jiji just looked like…Jiji. He was quite the complicated kitty. I’m glad they’re together, if they are I mean. Such a strange dream, though, to think of them both so suddenly. And they didn’t say anything. They were just…there.”
“You loved them both and they loved you, maybe it’s as simple as that,” Stefan said.
Jaejoong nodded, picked up his bag. “You’re probably right.”
He stopped beside Stefan as he passed through the doorway. Stef raised a hand and gently brushed the dark circles beneath Jae’s eyes.
“Sleep,” he said insistently.
Jaejoong kissed his cheek. “I will.”
Stefan watched his friend go, his heart feeling a little heavy as it always did when he looked at Jae. He was holding on remarkably, putting up a strong front for all who leaned on him. But for how long? How long could it last before he caved beneath the pressure?
Not for the first time, he felt himself becoming angry at a certain absent man. If he could just have a word with him… Well, his fist might do all the talking so it was probably for the best. But if he kept Jae waiting too much longer, he might have to pay him a visit in person.
Stef leaned back in his chair, yawning as he stretched out the kinks in his stiff limbs.
He was alone in the building, having stayed late at the office to finish that month’s accounting. He could’ve done it at home but Maggie was busy preparing for the wedding and he didn’t want to get in her way.
Or vice versa.
He didn’t understand what needed to be done so urgently when the bloody wedding was eight months away. Did it really take a year to plan for one day? He would’ve been content to cart her off to Las Vegas with a couple of friends for a quickie. They wouldn’t be joining the statistics of Vegas weddings-turned-divorces so there was nothing wrong with utilizing the expediency of the service offered, from his point of view anyway. Maggie would disagree, though. Loudly. And he loved her too much to deny her the elegance - and extravagance - of the wedding she wanted so…a big event it was. Well, two technically. The first ceremony was going to be at his father’s ancestral home in England, which just happened to be a castle, and the second was going to be at Maggie’s family’s estate in Ireland.
Good God, he thought, dropping his head into his hands. Just thinking about it gave him a bleeding headache. He needed a drink. A strong one. If he didn’t love her as much as he did…
The soft knock cut his pitiful wallowing short.
He sat up straight, listening intently to see if he was hearing things.
Knock, knock.
No, there it was again.
Rising from his chair, he walked through his open office door and out into the display room. He pushed aside the dainty curtain shielding the inset glass of the stout oak door and did a double take.
What the…
He closed his eyes, counted to five, and reopened them to make sure he wasn’t seeing things.
Nope.
He quickly unlocked the door and swung it open.
“Well, well…,” he drawled. “It’s about damn time.”
Yunho blushed. “Hello.”
He hadn’t really thought about who he might find on the other side of the door but he was happy to see a familiar face, even if it wasn’t the one he’d flown halfway across the world for. He was doubly happy that Stefan spoke Korean. It was one less burden on his shoulders.
“Well, don’t just stand there,” Stefan said, taking a step back to allow Yunho to pass by him. As soon as the door closed behind him, however, he rounded on the man. “What the hell took you so long?”
Yunho blinked, his color deepening, uncomfortable beneath the weight of that intense blue gaze.
“I expected you a long time ago,” Stefan continued. “Color me disappointed when you didn’t show up. I thought I’d made a mistake, leaving him with you for so long.”
Yunho dropped his gaze. It was no less than he deserved. Stefan had warned him, after all. He’d told him not to hurt Jae and that was exactly what he’d done.
“I’m sorry…”
He expected censure, harsh words, he wouldn’t even be surprised if Stefan kicked him out. What he didn’t expect, however, was for Stefan to lay a gentle hand, a comforting hand, on his shoulder.
“It’s alright,” Stefan said softly. “Well, it’s not. It’s been hell watching him suffer all these months. But I can see that it hasn’t been easy on you either. I don’t know how it could be. Losing someone…it’s not something you ever get over.”
“You can say that again,” Yunho muttered beneath his breath.
Stefan gave him a comforting squeeze. “I can’t imagine life without my Maggie…or Jae for that matter. I’d go crazy, I swear it.”
Yunho nodded.
Stefan squeezed his shoulder once more before he dropped his hand. “Well, you’re here now. You’re a bit behind schedule, a lot actually, but you’re here. That’s all that matters.”
Stefan gestured to one of the sofas in the display room and sat on one end, waiting for Yunho to join him.
“We’ve all been waiting for you, Jae most of all. I was sure you’d come but as time passed, I started to doubt myself. Glad to see I was right. That should score me a few points with the missus,” he joked.
“I’m sorry,” Yunho apologized again. “It just took me a while to see things clearly. I’ve been living in this…maze that I couldn’t find my way out of.”
“What changed?” Stef asked curiously.
Yunho smiled slightly, thinking of Changmin. “Wise words from an old friend. After that, everything was different. The pain went away and all that remained was…” He blushed as he met Stef’s eyes. “…Jae.”
Stefan grinned. “Glad to hear it.”
It was on the tip of Yunho’s tongue to ask if Jae was there but the place seemed quiet and deserted.
“He went home early,” Stefan supplied, as if he’d read his mind. “He hasn’t been sleeping all that well since…”
Guilt gripped Yunho, his heart twisting painfully as he thought of his poor Jaejoong suffering because of him.
“Why did you come here instead of going to his apartment?” Stef asked.
Yunho’s blush returned. “This was the only address I had. I found it on some of the correspondence he’d left behind. My sister has his home address but she wouldn’t give it to me.”
Stefan laughed. “I’ve heard about her, saw her a few times on video conference with Jae. She’s very…interesting.”
Yunho nodded. “Definitely…”
Stefan jumped to his feet. “Why don’t I take you?”
Yunho rose, shaking his head. “Oh, no. I couldn’t inconvenience you more than I already have.”
“It’s no bother,” Stefan assured, already walking back into his office to grab his files and briefcase. Apparently he was going to finish up at home after all. “It’s on the way.” That was a lie but Maggie would want him to make sure that Jae’s fella got to him as quickly as possible.
Turning lights off as he went, Stefan walked back into the display room. “Where’s your luggage?”
Yunho blushed again. “On the doorstep.”
Stefan laughed and opened the front door to find Yunho’s suitcase right where he’d left it. “You’re lucky this is a good part of the city, otherwise it would’ve disappeared before the door closed behind you.”
He waited for Yunho to join him outside, locked the door and engaged the alarm.
His car was a short walk away, in the parking garage next door, and soon they were on their way to Jaejoong’s loft. He briefly contemplated taking Yunho all the way up to Jaejoong’s door instead of simply letting him off on the sidewalk but decided against it. As much as he’d like to see the “show” he wasn’t going to intrude. The two of them had a lot to talk about.
When they reached their destination, he pulled up to the curb and parked.
“Just tell the receptionist you’re here to see Mr. Kim - he’s the only one in the building - and she’ll direct you.”
Yunho nodded and pushed open his door, reaching for his suitcase in the back seat.
“Why don’t you leave that here?” Stefan suggested. “You can stay with Maggie and I while you’re here. It’s far more comfortable than a hotel.”
Yunho’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, no. I couldn’t…”
“…impose. Yea, I got that the first time. It’s not an imposition if I’m offering. Plus, you haven’t made a hotel reservation yet, have you?” he asked knowingly.
When Yunho blushed, he continued, “Then it’s settled. Go on up. And take your time. I’ll be waiting.”
“If you’re sure…”
Stefan nodded.
Yunho closed the door and turned to leave when Stefan called, “Oh, and Yunho?”
Yunho turned back, leaning in through the open window.
Stefan’s face was serious all of a sudden and it made Yunho nervous. “I should warn you… He’s been seeing someone, for the past couple of months. Things have been going really well so…you should prepare yourself.”
It was the second lie he’d told but, as much as he sympathized with Yunho, he had made his precious Jaejoong suffer so he deserved a little, albeit short-lived, suffering of his own. He would find out soon enough that Jaejoong and Kai had already gone their separate ways.
Stefan’s words rang in Yunho’s head the whole way up in the elevator, which was rather long considering how high the building was and how far up Jaejoong lived.
Jaejoong was seeing someone.
He’d thought about it, expected it to some extent and had thought himself prepared for it, but as it turned out, he wasn’t nearly as prepared as he’d felt. He’d much rather Jaejoong hate him and find it impossible to forgive him than to have moved on. Just thinking about Jaejoong not loving him…Well, he couldn’t. It hurt too much.
When the elevator finally arrived at its destination, he followed the directions the receptionist had given and found himself in front of Jaejoong’s door.
His heart raced in his chest and he suddenly felt faint. After all this time apart, he was finally going to see his Joongie again. He almost couldn’t believe it.
Taking one last steadying breath, he pressed the doorbell and waited.
When Jaejoong woke up from his nap, he felt marginally better than he had before.
He rolled out of bed and stretched. It was only 6:00. There were several hours to go before bedtime.
Sighing, he went to the fridge and pulled out an open bottle of his favorite wine. He grabbed a glass and strolled over to the sofa. He filled the glass with the clear, hay-colored liquid, picked up the television remote and flipped through the channels. There was nothing on that caught his interest so he turned the TV off and turned on the radio instead. The first strains of music had him groaning.
He’d forgotten his Mopey Mix in the player.
Sighing again, he settled back into the sofa and gulped his wine.
Thirty minutes later…
♪It’s you, it’s you, it’s all for you, everything I do…♪
Jaejoong stared out at the twinkling lights of the city as he sang along to the stereo, gripping his wine glass tightly. It never failed to take his breath away. The ebb and flow of life was incessant. No matter how much of a standstill his own life might be at, life went on beyond his windows.
Turning back to the room, he walked over to the sofa and plopped down. As his eyes fell on his phone, he remembered that he still had a very pressing call to make.
Kai…
He picked the phone up, dialed Kai’s number from memory and paused, his finger hovering over the “call” button.
He needed to call him, to explain what was going on, but every time he worked himself up to it, he backed out.
Coward!
It didn’t help that Kai had been so understanding. They hadn’t talked since that night, had had no contact but for a simple text from Kai:
“Call me when you’re ready. No hurry.”
Well over a month had passed since then and though he was sure that Kai was still waiting, he couldn’t make the call.
He felt horrible. Though they’d only seen each other for a few weeks, he knew that Kai had strong feelings for him and he’d started to feel like something might be there on his part too, but Yunho was an insurmountable obstruction. He didn’t want to surmount him. He wanted him here, by his side. Kai, no matter how seemingly perfect, was not and would never be Yunho. Until he knew with 100% certainty that Yunho was out of his reach, gone for good, his heart would keep holding on. Hoping…
♪And I have the sense to recognize that I don’t know how to let you go…♪
He closed his eyes on a sigh, thinking that truer words had never been spoken.
Two glasses later…
♪I can’t make you love me if you don’t. You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t…♪
“Kim Jaejoong, you are so emo…”
Sighing, Jaejoong finished off his glass and reached for the wine bottle, surprised to find it empty.
He was lying on his back, stretched out on the sofa, and from his position, the kitchen seemed awfully far. He didn’t feel like getting up.
Sighing again, he tilted the glass and caught the last drop of wine, his sigh turning to a groan when the song changed.
♪I love you more than I should...so much more than is good for me…♪
“Are you trying to kill me?!” he screamed at the room.
Ding.
Jaejoong glared at the door. Who on earth was visiting him at this hour?
You sound like an old man…
“Shuddup you!”
He set the glass and bottle down, turned off the music and strode to the door. He was so irritated with himself that he didn’t bother to check the peephole and simply threw the door open.
The earth stopped spinning.
The air around him froze, literally and figuratively.
His heart stopped, he was sure of it.
Everything was still, as if time itself had ceased to exist.
There was nothing but his unblinking stare, settled on the man standing in the hallway.
Yunho.
ALL parts are posted, click next up top.
Author: VampireMadonna
Pairing: Main: YunJae; Secondary: JaeMin, HoMin
Rating: PG-13
Length: Chaptered
Summary: After Changmin's death, how are Jae and Yunho going to cope with their grief and their increasing attraction to each other?
“Jae!”
Jaejoong jumped awake, frantically looking around as he tried to orient himself. When he recognized his office, he settled back against the plush leather of his chair and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.
“Go. Home,” Stef enunciated, posing casually against his door-frame.
“What time is it?” Jaejoong asked, his voice throaty.
“3:15.”
“Work’s not over yet,” he grumbled.
“You own 34% of the business. You’re the boss, you can do as you please.”
Jaejoong rolled his eyes. It was a common joke between them. Although the intention was to split the business evenly three ways, since it couldn’t be done to the percentage, Stef and Maggie had agreed that Jaejoong should have 34%, since it was his baby, and they would be satisfied with 33% each. Although he never made a big deal about it, Stefan enjoyed rubbing it in his face on occasion. He would even throw around the word “boss” whenever he was feeling particularly mischievous.
Pain in the ass.
“Jae…” Stefan’s tone was serious now. “You’re clearly exhausted. And I know you haven’t been sleeping all that well lately. You should go home. It’s just a few hours until closing. The building won’t crumble if you’re not in it.”
“Fine, fine. Gosh, you nag more than my mother. Or your future wife for that matter, and you can’t get more naggy than her. Or so I thought…” He threw a pointed glare at Stef then moved to gather his things. “I could use a nap, I guess,” he said more reasonably. “I had the strangest dream.”
“Oh? What happened?”
“It’s not so much what happened as who was in it.” He paused to look at Stef as he replayed the dream. “Min was there…and my cat.”
Stefan cocked a brow. “Cat?”
Jaejoong smiled. “Jiji. He died a long time ago. I haven’t dreamt about him in forever but I do think about him occasionally. He was rather standoffish but I think he really loved me. I miss him sometimes.”
“But why was it strange? They knew each other, didn’t they?”
“Well, the thing is, Changmin and Jiji didn’t like each other. Or rather, Jiji hated Min’s guts. I could never understand why but he just couldn’t stand to be around him. So seeing them together was just…weird.” He shrugged. “They seemed happy, though. Well, Min did at least. He was smiling. I’m glad for that. Jiji just looked like…Jiji. He was quite the complicated kitty. I’m glad they’re together, if they are I mean. Such a strange dream, though, to think of them both so suddenly. And they didn’t say anything. They were just…there.”
“You loved them both and they loved you, maybe it’s as simple as that,” Stefan said.
Jaejoong nodded, picked up his bag. “You’re probably right.”
He stopped beside Stefan as he passed through the doorway. Stef raised a hand and gently brushed the dark circles beneath Jae’s eyes.
“Sleep,” he said insistently.
Jaejoong kissed his cheek. “I will.”
Stefan watched his friend go, his heart feeling a little heavy as it always did when he looked at Jae. He was holding on remarkably, putting up a strong front for all who leaned on him. But for how long? How long could it last before he caved beneath the pressure?
Not for the first time, he felt himself becoming angry at a certain absent man. If he could just have a word with him… Well, his fist might do all the talking so it was probably for the best. But if he kept Jae waiting too much longer, he might have to pay him a visit in person.
Stef leaned back in his chair, yawning as he stretched out the kinks in his stiff limbs.
He was alone in the building, having stayed late at the office to finish that month’s accounting. He could’ve done it at home but Maggie was busy preparing for the wedding and he didn’t want to get in her way.
Or vice versa.
He didn’t understand what needed to be done so urgently when the bloody wedding was eight months away. Did it really take a year to plan for one day? He would’ve been content to cart her off to Las Vegas with a couple of friends for a quickie. They wouldn’t be joining the statistics of Vegas weddings-turned-divorces so there was nothing wrong with utilizing the expediency of the service offered, from his point of view anyway. Maggie would disagree, though. Loudly. And he loved her too much to deny her the elegance - and extravagance - of the wedding she wanted so…a big event it was. Well, two technically. The first ceremony was going to be at his father’s ancestral home in England, which just happened to be a castle, and the second was going to be at Maggie’s family’s estate in Ireland.
Good God, he thought, dropping his head into his hands. Just thinking about it gave him a bleeding headache. He needed a drink. A strong one. If he didn’t love her as much as he did…
The soft knock cut his pitiful wallowing short.
He sat up straight, listening intently to see if he was hearing things.
Knock, knock.
No, there it was again.
Rising from his chair, he walked through his open office door and out into the display room. He pushed aside the dainty curtain shielding the inset glass of the stout oak door and did a double take.
What the…
He closed his eyes, counted to five, and reopened them to make sure he wasn’t seeing things.
Nope.
He quickly unlocked the door and swung it open.
“Well, well…,” he drawled. “It’s about damn time.”
Yunho blushed. “Hello.”
He hadn’t really thought about who he might find on the other side of the door but he was happy to see a familiar face, even if it wasn’t the one he’d flown halfway across the world for. He was doubly happy that Stefan spoke Korean. It was one less burden on his shoulders.
“Well, don’t just stand there,” Stefan said, taking a step back to allow Yunho to pass by him. As soon as the door closed behind him, however, he rounded on the man. “What the hell took you so long?”
Yunho blinked, his color deepening, uncomfortable beneath the weight of that intense blue gaze.
“I expected you a long time ago,” Stefan continued. “Color me disappointed when you didn’t show up. I thought I’d made a mistake, leaving him with you for so long.”
Yunho dropped his gaze. It was no less than he deserved. Stefan had warned him, after all. He’d told him not to hurt Jae and that was exactly what he’d done.
“I’m sorry…”
He expected censure, harsh words, he wouldn’t even be surprised if Stefan kicked him out. What he didn’t expect, however, was for Stefan to lay a gentle hand, a comforting hand, on his shoulder.
“It’s alright,” Stefan said softly. “Well, it’s not. It’s been hell watching him suffer all these months. But I can see that it hasn’t been easy on you either. I don’t know how it could be. Losing someone…it’s not something you ever get over.”
“You can say that again,” Yunho muttered beneath his breath.
Stefan gave him a comforting squeeze. “I can’t imagine life without my Maggie…or Jae for that matter. I’d go crazy, I swear it.”
Yunho nodded.
Stefan squeezed his shoulder once more before he dropped his hand. “Well, you’re here now. You’re a bit behind schedule, a lot actually, but you’re here. That’s all that matters.”
Stefan gestured to one of the sofas in the display room and sat on one end, waiting for Yunho to join him.
“We’ve all been waiting for you, Jae most of all. I was sure you’d come but as time passed, I started to doubt myself. Glad to see I was right. That should score me a few points with the missus,” he joked.
“I’m sorry,” Yunho apologized again. “It just took me a while to see things clearly. I’ve been living in this…maze that I couldn’t find my way out of.”
“What changed?” Stef asked curiously.
Yunho smiled slightly, thinking of Changmin. “Wise words from an old friend. After that, everything was different. The pain went away and all that remained was…” He blushed as he met Stef’s eyes. “…Jae.”
Stefan grinned. “Glad to hear it.”
It was on the tip of Yunho’s tongue to ask if Jae was there but the place seemed quiet and deserted.
“He went home early,” Stefan supplied, as if he’d read his mind. “He hasn’t been sleeping all that well since…”
Guilt gripped Yunho, his heart twisting painfully as he thought of his poor Jaejoong suffering because of him.
“Why did you come here instead of going to his apartment?” Stef asked.
Yunho’s blush returned. “This was the only address I had. I found it on some of the correspondence he’d left behind. My sister has his home address but she wouldn’t give it to me.”
Stefan laughed. “I’ve heard about her, saw her a few times on video conference with Jae. She’s very…interesting.”
Yunho nodded. “Definitely…”
Stefan jumped to his feet. “Why don’t I take you?”
Yunho rose, shaking his head. “Oh, no. I couldn’t inconvenience you more than I already have.”
“It’s no bother,” Stefan assured, already walking back into his office to grab his files and briefcase. Apparently he was going to finish up at home after all. “It’s on the way.” That was a lie but Maggie would want him to make sure that Jae’s fella got to him as quickly as possible.
Turning lights off as he went, Stefan walked back into the display room. “Where’s your luggage?”
Yunho blushed again. “On the doorstep.”
Stefan laughed and opened the front door to find Yunho’s suitcase right where he’d left it. “You’re lucky this is a good part of the city, otherwise it would’ve disappeared before the door closed behind you.”
He waited for Yunho to join him outside, locked the door and engaged the alarm.
His car was a short walk away, in the parking garage next door, and soon they were on their way to Jaejoong’s loft. He briefly contemplated taking Yunho all the way up to Jaejoong’s door instead of simply letting him off on the sidewalk but decided against it. As much as he’d like to see the “show” he wasn’t going to intrude. The two of them had a lot to talk about.
When they reached their destination, he pulled up to the curb and parked.
“Just tell the receptionist you’re here to see Mr. Kim - he’s the only one in the building - and she’ll direct you.”
Yunho nodded and pushed open his door, reaching for his suitcase in the back seat.
“Why don’t you leave that here?” Stefan suggested. “You can stay with Maggie and I while you’re here. It’s far more comfortable than a hotel.”
Yunho’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, no. I couldn’t…”
“…impose. Yea, I got that the first time. It’s not an imposition if I’m offering. Plus, you haven’t made a hotel reservation yet, have you?” he asked knowingly.
When Yunho blushed, he continued, “Then it’s settled. Go on up. And take your time. I’ll be waiting.”
“If you’re sure…”
Stefan nodded.
Yunho closed the door and turned to leave when Stefan called, “Oh, and Yunho?”
Yunho turned back, leaning in through the open window.
Stefan’s face was serious all of a sudden and it made Yunho nervous. “I should warn you… He’s been seeing someone, for the past couple of months. Things have been going really well so…you should prepare yourself.”
It was the second lie he’d told but, as much as he sympathized with Yunho, he had made his precious Jaejoong suffer so he deserved a little, albeit short-lived, suffering of his own. He would find out soon enough that Jaejoong and Kai had already gone their separate ways.
Stefan’s words rang in Yunho’s head the whole way up in the elevator, which was rather long considering how high the building was and how far up Jaejoong lived.
Jaejoong was seeing someone.
He’d thought about it, expected it to some extent and had thought himself prepared for it, but as it turned out, he wasn’t nearly as prepared as he’d felt. He’d much rather Jaejoong hate him and find it impossible to forgive him than to have moved on. Just thinking about Jaejoong not loving him…Well, he couldn’t. It hurt too much.
When the elevator finally arrived at its destination, he followed the directions the receptionist had given and found himself in front of Jaejoong’s door.
His heart raced in his chest and he suddenly felt faint. After all this time apart, he was finally going to see his Joongie again. He almost couldn’t believe it.
Taking one last steadying breath, he pressed the doorbell and waited.
When Jaejoong woke up from his nap, he felt marginally better than he had before.
He rolled out of bed and stretched. It was only 6:00. There were several hours to go before bedtime.
Sighing, he went to the fridge and pulled out an open bottle of his favorite wine. He grabbed a glass and strolled over to the sofa. He filled the glass with the clear, hay-colored liquid, picked up the television remote and flipped through the channels. There was nothing on that caught his interest so he turned the TV off and turned on the radio instead. The first strains of music had him groaning.
He’d forgotten his Mopey Mix in the player.
Sighing again, he settled back into the sofa and gulped his wine.
Thirty minutes later…
♪It’s you, it’s you, it’s all for you, everything I do…♪
Jaejoong stared out at the twinkling lights of the city as he sang along to the stereo, gripping his wine glass tightly. It never failed to take his breath away. The ebb and flow of life was incessant. No matter how much of a standstill his own life might be at, life went on beyond his windows.
Turning back to the room, he walked over to the sofa and plopped down. As his eyes fell on his phone, he remembered that he still had a very pressing call to make.
Kai…
He picked the phone up, dialed Kai’s number from memory and paused, his finger hovering over the “call” button.
He needed to call him, to explain what was going on, but every time he worked himself up to it, he backed out.
Coward!
It didn’t help that Kai had been so understanding. They hadn’t talked since that night, had had no contact but for a simple text from Kai:
“Call me when you’re ready. No hurry.”
Well over a month had passed since then and though he was sure that Kai was still waiting, he couldn’t make the call.
He felt horrible. Though they’d only seen each other for a few weeks, he knew that Kai had strong feelings for him and he’d started to feel like something might be there on his part too, but Yunho was an insurmountable obstruction. He didn’t want to surmount him. He wanted him here, by his side. Kai, no matter how seemingly perfect, was not and would never be Yunho. Until he knew with 100% certainty that Yunho was out of his reach, gone for good, his heart would keep holding on. Hoping…
♪And I have the sense to recognize that I don’t know how to let you go…♪
He closed his eyes on a sigh, thinking that truer words had never been spoken.
Two glasses later…
♪I can’t make you love me if you don’t. You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t…♪
“Kim Jaejoong, you are so emo…”
Sighing, Jaejoong finished off his glass and reached for the wine bottle, surprised to find it empty.
He was lying on his back, stretched out on the sofa, and from his position, the kitchen seemed awfully far. He didn’t feel like getting up.
Sighing again, he tilted the glass and caught the last drop of wine, his sigh turning to a groan when the song changed.
♪I love you more than I should...so much more than is good for me…♪
“Are you trying to kill me?!” he screamed at the room.
Ding.
Jaejoong glared at the door. Who on earth was visiting him at this hour?
You sound like an old man…
“Shuddup you!”
He set the glass and bottle down, turned off the music and strode to the door. He was so irritated with himself that he didn’t bother to check the peephole and simply threw the door open.
The earth stopped spinning.
The air around him froze, literally and figuratively.
His heart stopped, he was sure of it.
Everything was still, as if time itself had ceased to exist.
There was nothing but his unblinking stare, settled on the man standing in the hallway.
Yunho.
ALL parts are posted, click next up top.