open.

[vampirepig13]

I want to preface this by saying I don't talk about it. Ever. I should, I should get it out more often, so I can deal with it and move on...but I don't.

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder when I was thirteen or fourteen (around the time I lost my virginity - go figure). I went through one really bad spot in high school and ended up

Comments

[nooneshabit]

I love you. That seems to be all that I can come up with at the moment, but those three words don't even come close to expressing how much I care about you and our friendship. I always kind of knew we were kindred spirits. I too was diagnosed with depression and anxiety as a teen. I'm sure I suffered from it long before I was diagnosed. And it too was also around the time I had lost my virginity. It's a tough thing to deal with on your own, and making a big change in your life tends to give it power. You may not hold much hope in psychology, but I want you to know that the two years I spent in therapy are what saved me. Don't go to a psychiatrist if you don't want drugged, just talk to the counselor. My therapy is the reason I chose to go into psychology, because it literally saved my life, and I had no other way of saying thank you but to learn it and help others. I know that you know deep down how amazing you are, but I also know how hard it is to accept knowing that. Just know that my phone is never turned off, and if

:/

[troll_speak]

I know I don't comment often on your journal but I do read it

Re: :/

[vampirepig13]

Thanks for your comment, hon. It means a lot that even someone I barely know is willing to try and help me out. I know you've been having a hard time as of late and I feel bad for not reaching out, but I have been reading and wishing you the best, for what it's worth. Keep being brave!

Re: :/

[troll_speak]

Hey, I know people have their own life and i don't expect anyone to reply to anything I post.

In fact, I don't post anything on my journal expecting a reply, though it is always nice to get them. :)

To be totally truthful with you, I am at the stage in my life where I had to deal with my anxiety and depression. It almost cost me my wife and kids. I am living alone in a flat at the moment because my reactions to those I love became that toxic due to the naxiety and depression.

You don't want things to get that far.

I should be a warning advertisement. I see it now, "IF you don't want to become an anti sociial, de humanized, overly anxious, depressed, overly jaded and cynical, highly phobic individual like this person, seek assistance NOW!!!!"

I offer to you a virtual troll hug and the promise that I will keep battling on against the things that have made me the way I am. (I don't know if I am being brave, just doing what I have to do so I can be back with my family)

the troll

Lawrence

[laura121684]

Do what you need to do to get better. There are some things in life that you just can't handle by yourself. My emotional state played a big part in me quitting school. I'd hate to see you suffer the same fate!

[vampirepig13]

Yeah, I'm starting to realize that...I don't want to quit, but I am seriously scared that I'm wasting a lot of money, haha.

Re: ...after this last trip to iraq...

[vampirepig13]

You're a sweetheart. Thank you!

As for what you're going through, I don't really have any advice to offer, but if you ever need somebody to listen, I read really fast and have two almost-perfectly functioning ears.

[vampirepig13]

Oh, Lord, a grill...I'll tell Sam. I see a shopping trip to the Terminal in our future. Getting away from stuff would be awesome. :)

My counselor at school, who I WILL keep seeing, did say that I seem like a good candidate for meds. It just scares me because I tried a couple different brands back in the day (lexapro was one of them, actually) and they just made things worse. Now I realize that might have had something to do with my age at the time, so I guess I'm willing to give it another go.

Thanks, Ed, I mean it. Give Kris my love!