A poll on crying

[van]

Based on a conversation I had with a friend last weekend, I bring you a poll on crying. I have set this poll up to be as anonymous as possible, meaning people can't click to see who voted what, so I ask that you vote honestly and not how you think you "should" vote, or whatever. I realize this is not going to be conclusive of anything more than

Comments

[van]

I didn't put a "crying" option because I suspected that most people would say both were acceptable for both genders. I know perhaps some really MACHO men might say it's unaccept for a man to EVER cry, but I think most people, even the macho men, would be able to think of a place where either gender could cry. Sobbing, on the other hand, is that step further, and I think is seen as much less acceptable for both genders, and was curious to see what the masses had to say.

[coaldustcanary]

I don't see acceptable/pathetic as two ends of a scale, really. Generally, I'm not going to criticize anyone who's sobbing, for whatever reason. Emotions are emotions. But I might think that someone's tears are both acceptable *and* pathetic, depending on circumstance.

[textualdeviance]

Something a lot of people don't know is that crying is actually healthy. Biologically speaking, it's what the body does to release stress hormones--hence why we cry when we're stressed. Without that release, those hormones build up in the body and cause all sorts of nastiness.

So having a good cry now and then is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself, regardless of gender.

[van]

So, what if you don't/can't cry? Does that mean you're not stressed enough or that you're not properly releasing your stress hormones or whatever? For what it's worth, I've never had, or understood, the concept of a "good cry." I feel like an utter trainwreck almost any time I've ended up crying. (Well, from sadness/frustration vs. tears of laughter, which I consider completely different things.)

[textualdeviance]

Well, some people might not have the same physiological stress responses (don't release a lot of cortisol/adrenaline) and so therefore they wouldn't need to get rid of any excess they'd have via tears. Just natural variation, there.

FWIW, though, the aftermath of a crying session should naturally feel like one's drained/exhausted. That's the endpoint of the stress cycle, and a sign that the body now needs rest after the stressful event.

[van]

That makes sense, but if the end point is to feel drained/exhausted, how can you call it a "good" cry? That implies you feel relieved or better somehow, doesn't it?

[flibertyjibitz]

I see nothing wrong with a person of any gender or age crying/sobbing due to real emotional or physical distress but if I feel the crying is manipulative it just makes me think way less of the individual. If I feel the manipulation is aimed at me then I get mad.

That said I absolutely detest it when I cry due to real physical/emotional distress. It pisses me off big time. Especially if its in public. Shedding a few tears while watching a sad/happy moment on TV or film does not really bug me though.

[rivulet027]

I work in patient care and tend to be one of those people that get latched onto when a loved one is dying so I've seen all sorts cry and have even been right there sobbing with them.