When we went to the "Hoffest" of our school, something awkward happened. Since most of my fellow students didn't join us and we mostly dealt with students of the same grades the age difference between us and younger students suddenly struck me with such clarity, I almost felt like a discarted train going down the scrap-yard track
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I wander around my appartment, will not produce, will not consume. TV, books, computer, design ... all of these things seem artificial and redundant to me. It's like you're being fed a substitute for something else you actually need
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My To do list included 5 routine tasks and one painting (to be specific the "beautiful and healthy bungalow"). After going to the beach (oh my god it's hot) and returning about 7pm I just walk through my room reluctant to touch anything that matters to me. It's paralyzing. I should finally paint :)
I'm lacking structure again. It's nice outside (I keep my head turned left constantly) but I'm inside, supposed to learn but not really willing to do so
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