Because
Title: Because
Rating: PG-13
I own nothing. And I don't always put disclaimers because you all pretty much know I own nothing.
(:
Joe was watching TV in the living room when Nick let himself into the house he shared with Garbo, Jack and Ryan. He’d gotten a text message from Nick about two hours ago saying ‘be over soon, need to talk to you.’ Nick didn’t do this sort of thing, well, ever, so Joe figured he should wait up. He was glad Nick was finally here, though, wondering why it had taken so long. “Hey,” Nick said, locking the door behind him before taking off his shoes and coming over to plop next to Joe on the couch.
“Hey,” he replied, glancing at his brother and turning off the TV. If Nick wanted to talk, then the TV wasn’t going to be used, anyway. “What’s up? You never want to hang out this late…” Nick stiffened and swallowed visibly which made Joe straighten in his seat. “What is it? Is everything ok?” Nick shook his head and his eyes shut almost automatically, a hand running through his hair almost desperately. He grabbed both of Nick’s shoulders until the younger Jonas opened his eyes, meeting Joe’s squarely. “It’s okay, Nicky, it’s okay. Whatever it is…you can tell me.”
“I love you,” Nick said automatically, almost as if he hadn’t meant to blurt it out. His face paled and he froze in Joe’s grasp.
“Love you too, Bro…” Joe said slowly, trying to figure out what Nick was upset about. “What did you do?” Nick just blinked and fell back on the couch, shaking his head, an expression of disbelief on his face. “What? What is it?” Nick must have done something he thought Joe wouldn’t like, or maybe he was nervous he’d done something that would make Joe not love him anymore. “Look, I promise I’ll still love you after you tell me, even if it doesn’t seem like it. If you’ve done something stupid-”
Nick cut him off as he sat back up and put a hand to Joe’s lips. “No, I just came here to do something stupid…now I realize it was stupid to even consider it in the first place.” Joe blinked in confusion as Nick stood up and began heading for the door again, but he wasn’t letting the seventeen year-old off that easy for making him stay up until three in the morning for nothing.
“Nicholas Jerry,” he said, grabbing Nick’s arm roughly. He was surprised when Nick pushed him away forcefully, wide-eyed and hurt-looking. He realized Nick wasn’t only mad at himself, but he was mad at Joe, too. His voice softened as he asked, “What? Nicky, what is it?”
“Nothing. Can I stay here tonight?” Joe nodded and Nick walked back over to the couch, turned on the TV and picked out a movie from On Demand. Joe walked back over and sat next to him, an arm casually draped behind Nick’s shoulders on the brown leather. “Joe?” Nick’s voice was small, soft with a needy undertone and Joe knew he had to tread carefully.
“Yeah?” he asked just as quietly, his arm moving closer to Nick’s shoulders so he could touch him if he had to. His eyes glanced at the movie playing, one of their favorites: Shrek. And then he focused on Nick again.
“I’m sorry.”
Joe waited for more, perhaps for Nick to elaborate, but he didn’t and Joe sat there completely stumped for a few moments while wondering what on Earth was going on. “Why?” he finally asked.
“Because.” Nick wasn’t going to say anything more, that was obvious, and Nick moved a little closer, letting his head fall to rest on Joe’s shoulder. The twenty year-old let his arm drop and he gave Nick’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before they settled in to watch the movie. They were about halfway through when Nick said, “I’m sorry because I love you.”
He rolled his eyes and said, “I know that! And I love you! But, Nicky, why are you sorry? That makes no sense.” He felt frustrated beyond belief and loved Nicky so much that he knew without a doubt that anything Nick could have done that might get Joe into trouble wouldn’t be anything that could destroy that bond. They were family, brothers, and Nick happened to be Joe’s favorite brother.
“I love you more…” Nick said childishly.
“Nuh-uh…” Joe said, shifting so he could tickle Nick. “I don’t think so!”
“Do, too!” Nick giggled as Joe reached for the bottom of his feet, and kicked out, bringing himself flat on the couch while Joe climbed on top of him. “I love you more,” he added, jaw set and determined.
“Nahhh,” Joe replied, letting his body fall completely on top of Nick’s like dead weight, sprawled on top of his baby brother.
“It’s why I took off my ring and put it on the necklace.” Joe froze, brain slowly working through what Nick had said. “I…really love you, Joe.”
He moved fast, pushing himself up and off of Nick and the couch as he said, “Whaoh. Slow down.” Nick sighed and sat back up, not quite meeting Joe’s eyes which was okay because Joe began to pace. “You mean like, love love?” Nick nodded and he prodded, “In love or just….?”
“I’m in love with you. I couldn’t wear the ring anymore because every day felt like a lie. How could I be pure, stay pure, when all I could think about was you?” Nick stood up and walked over to Joe, stood right in front of him, only inches away. “I’m so sorry…”
That was the moment Joe felt something break and he thought maybe it was his heart. Nick looked so upset, truly disturbed, and Joe didn’t know how to make it better. “I, uh…” Nick was looking at him expectantly. He’d started to speak, he should say how this wouldn’t work out, but then he knew why Nick was so upset. Nick knew it was wrong, he didn’t think it would work out, so anything Joe could think to say wouldn’t be necessary. Why had Nick come all the way over just to tell him something that he knew wouldn’t be good?
He searched his little brother’s eyes, his baby boy’s brown depths that could swallow him whole and he realized there was a faint spark of hope dimmed by the need for punishment. Nick was the master for beating himself over nothing, and he’d obviously expected Joe to react badly and thought he honestly deserved what he got. He’d wanted honesty between them because having that secret was tearing him up. “Say something…” Nick pleaded, “I know I don’t deserve it but…please.”
“Don’t be so dramatic,” he said and shook his head, pulling Nick into a tight hug. Nick stiffened in his arms before wrapping his own around Joe’s waist. So what? Nick was in love with him, big deal… Alright, it was a big deal, but he wouldn’t let it change anything between them. He felt warmth soak into his t-shirt and realized Nick was crying. “Oh God, please…Nicky, baby, don’t cry. Shhh.” There was something about the way Nick’s shoulders heaved and his silent tears drenched Joe’s shirt that made him think that, just maybe, not all changes because of this could be bad. “Nicky, look at me.”
“No…” Nick whined, clinging to Joe even more. “Can’t…” he sniffed loudly and Joe forcibly pushed him away, picking up some tissues from the table and holding them to Nick’s nose like they were little kids.
“Blow…” Joe instructed and Nick actually laughed, but it was one of those half-laugh half-sobs and he did as instructed. He folded them and grabbed more, holding them up as well and when Nick was done he tossed them back onto the table. “Look at me.” Nick did, looking quite lost. “I’m not gonna say you didn’t blindside me with this, ‘cause you did. But you don’t honestly expect me to just sit here as the cause of all your pain and do nothing, right?” He took a deep breath as Nick’s eyes widened, confused, and glad he’d stumped Nick for a change tonight. His hand rose to Nick’s cheek, fingers wiping gently at the tears. He didn’t know what he was doing, or what Nick thought he was doing, he just wanted Nick to stop crying.
He stepped closer to Nick again and heard, “Joe?”
“Relax…” he said, feeling his own heartbeat speed up. Nick didn’t relax, but Joe hadn’t really expected him to. Joe was a creature of instinct, and he was leaving it all up to his gut now. “I, um…don’t really know what I’m supposed to say…or do in this situation, just tell me what you were hoping for.” Nick opened his mouth to speak and Joe put a hand over his lips, “On second thought, don’t give me time to think and back out. Just show me.”
Nick’s movements were tentative, and he didn’t touch Joe as he closed the distance between them, lips drawing nearer to Joe’s in a slow dance. It made sense Nick would want to kiss him, Joe just hadn’t been expecting it at all. He sort of forced his mind to shut up and go blank and stop telling him this was a bad idea because he wanted to come at this without any preconceptions. But when Nick’s lips touched his, Joe gasped and pulled Nick closer. He hadn’t known what to expect, but it didn’t feel weird or wrong. Kissing Nick didn’t feel like kissing a girl, but it didn’t feel like he was kissing his brother, either. It just felt…okay. Better than okay, he thought he maybe could get used to it. Joe was always open to new things, and out of all three of them, that was something everyone could agree on. If it had been Garbo or any of his other male friends, he probably wouldn’t have even considered this. But Nick was, well, Nick.
That was all the reason Joe needed as he opened his mouth and felt Nick’s tongue slide inside. When they finally did break for air Nick looked away and said, “That wasn’t quite what I’d thought it would be.”
And Joe was stumped again. “Was I bad at it?” he asked, perplexed. He’d never gotten any complaints…
“No!” Nick said in a rush, “I just meant the whole setting, everything. You were better than I thought you were,” and before Joe could realize it wasn’t really a compliment Nick rushed on. “But I just meant that I’d pictured our first kiss without the tears.”
“Oh…” Joe said and smiled, kissing Nick’s forehead. “You can go wash your face and we could try again…”
“Why are you even doing this?” Nick asked, shaking his head.
“Because…” Joe said in response, smiling. There were a few moments when Nick kept staring at him and they sat back on the couch. Finally he added, “Because I love you.”
Nick laughed and climbed onto Joe’s lap, bringing their lips together once more.
Rating: PG-13
I own nothing. And I don't always put disclaimers because you all pretty much know I own nothing.
(:
Joe was watching TV in the living room when Nick let himself into the house he shared with Garbo, Jack and Ryan. He’d gotten a text message from Nick about two hours ago saying ‘be over soon, need to talk to you.’ Nick didn’t do this sort of thing, well, ever, so Joe figured he should wait up. He was glad Nick was finally here, though, wondering why it had taken so long. “Hey,” Nick said, locking the door behind him before taking off his shoes and coming over to plop next to Joe on the couch.
“Hey,” he replied, glancing at his brother and turning off the TV. If Nick wanted to talk, then the TV wasn’t going to be used, anyway. “What’s up? You never want to hang out this late…” Nick stiffened and swallowed visibly which made Joe straighten in his seat. “What is it? Is everything ok?” Nick shook his head and his eyes shut almost automatically, a hand running through his hair almost desperately. He grabbed both of Nick’s shoulders until the younger Jonas opened his eyes, meeting Joe’s squarely. “It’s okay, Nicky, it’s okay. Whatever it is…you can tell me.”
“I love you,” Nick said automatically, almost as if he hadn’t meant to blurt it out. His face paled and he froze in Joe’s grasp.
“Love you too, Bro…” Joe said slowly, trying to figure out what Nick was upset about. “What did you do?” Nick just blinked and fell back on the couch, shaking his head, an expression of disbelief on his face. “What? What is it?” Nick must have done something he thought Joe wouldn’t like, or maybe he was nervous he’d done something that would make Joe not love him anymore. “Look, I promise I’ll still love you after you tell me, even if it doesn’t seem like it. If you’ve done something stupid-”
Nick cut him off as he sat back up and put a hand to Joe’s lips. “No, I just came here to do something stupid…now I realize it was stupid to even consider it in the first place.” Joe blinked in confusion as Nick stood up and began heading for the door again, but he wasn’t letting the seventeen year-old off that easy for making him stay up until three in the morning for nothing.
“Nicholas Jerry,” he said, grabbing Nick’s arm roughly. He was surprised when Nick pushed him away forcefully, wide-eyed and hurt-looking. He realized Nick wasn’t only mad at himself, but he was mad at Joe, too. His voice softened as he asked, “What? Nicky, what is it?”
“Nothing. Can I stay here tonight?” Joe nodded and Nick walked back over to the couch, turned on the TV and picked out a movie from On Demand. Joe walked back over and sat next to him, an arm casually draped behind Nick’s shoulders on the brown leather. “Joe?” Nick’s voice was small, soft with a needy undertone and Joe knew he had to tread carefully.
“Yeah?” he asked just as quietly, his arm moving closer to Nick’s shoulders so he could touch him if he had to. His eyes glanced at the movie playing, one of their favorites: Shrek. And then he focused on Nick again.
“I’m sorry.”
Joe waited for more, perhaps for Nick to elaborate, but he didn’t and Joe sat there completely stumped for a few moments while wondering what on Earth was going on. “Why?” he finally asked.
“Because.” Nick wasn’t going to say anything more, that was obvious, and Nick moved a little closer, letting his head fall to rest on Joe’s shoulder. The twenty year-old let his arm drop and he gave Nick’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before they settled in to watch the movie. They were about halfway through when Nick said, “I’m sorry because I love you.”
He rolled his eyes and said, “I know that! And I love you! But, Nicky, why are you sorry? That makes no sense.” He felt frustrated beyond belief and loved Nicky so much that he knew without a doubt that anything Nick could have done that might get Joe into trouble wouldn’t be anything that could destroy that bond. They were family, brothers, and Nick happened to be Joe’s favorite brother.
“I love you more…” Nick said childishly.
“Nuh-uh…” Joe said, shifting so he could tickle Nick. “I don’t think so!”
“Do, too!” Nick giggled as Joe reached for the bottom of his feet, and kicked out, bringing himself flat on the couch while Joe climbed on top of him. “I love you more,” he added, jaw set and determined.
“Nahhh,” Joe replied, letting his body fall completely on top of Nick’s like dead weight, sprawled on top of his baby brother.
“It’s why I took off my ring and put it on the necklace.” Joe froze, brain slowly working through what Nick had said. “I…really love you, Joe.”
He moved fast, pushing himself up and off of Nick and the couch as he said, “Whaoh. Slow down.” Nick sighed and sat back up, not quite meeting Joe’s eyes which was okay because Joe began to pace. “You mean like, love love?” Nick nodded and he prodded, “In love or just….?”
“I’m in love with you. I couldn’t wear the ring anymore because every day felt like a lie. How could I be pure, stay pure, when all I could think about was you?” Nick stood up and walked over to Joe, stood right in front of him, only inches away. “I’m so sorry…”
That was the moment Joe felt something break and he thought maybe it was his heart. Nick looked so upset, truly disturbed, and Joe didn’t know how to make it better. “I, uh…” Nick was looking at him expectantly. He’d started to speak, he should say how this wouldn’t work out, but then he knew why Nick was so upset. Nick knew it was wrong, he didn’t think it would work out, so anything Joe could think to say wouldn’t be necessary. Why had Nick come all the way over just to tell him something that he knew wouldn’t be good?
He searched his little brother’s eyes, his baby boy’s brown depths that could swallow him whole and he realized there was a faint spark of hope dimmed by the need for punishment. Nick was the master for beating himself over nothing, and he’d obviously expected Joe to react badly and thought he honestly deserved what he got. He’d wanted honesty between them because having that secret was tearing him up. “Say something…” Nick pleaded, “I know I don’t deserve it but…please.”
“Don’t be so dramatic,” he said and shook his head, pulling Nick into a tight hug. Nick stiffened in his arms before wrapping his own around Joe’s waist. So what? Nick was in love with him, big deal… Alright, it was a big deal, but he wouldn’t let it change anything between them. He felt warmth soak into his t-shirt and realized Nick was crying. “Oh God, please…Nicky, baby, don’t cry. Shhh.” There was something about the way Nick’s shoulders heaved and his silent tears drenched Joe’s shirt that made him think that, just maybe, not all changes because of this could be bad. “Nicky, look at me.”
“No…” Nick whined, clinging to Joe even more. “Can’t…” he sniffed loudly and Joe forcibly pushed him away, picking up some tissues from the table and holding them to Nick’s nose like they were little kids.
“Blow…” Joe instructed and Nick actually laughed, but it was one of those half-laugh half-sobs and he did as instructed. He folded them and grabbed more, holding them up as well and when Nick was done he tossed them back onto the table. “Look at me.” Nick did, looking quite lost. “I’m not gonna say you didn’t blindside me with this, ‘cause you did. But you don’t honestly expect me to just sit here as the cause of all your pain and do nothing, right?” He took a deep breath as Nick’s eyes widened, confused, and glad he’d stumped Nick for a change tonight. His hand rose to Nick’s cheek, fingers wiping gently at the tears. He didn’t know what he was doing, or what Nick thought he was doing, he just wanted Nick to stop crying.
He stepped closer to Nick again and heard, “Joe?”
“Relax…” he said, feeling his own heartbeat speed up. Nick didn’t relax, but Joe hadn’t really expected him to. Joe was a creature of instinct, and he was leaving it all up to his gut now. “I, um…don’t really know what I’m supposed to say…or do in this situation, just tell me what you were hoping for.” Nick opened his mouth to speak and Joe put a hand over his lips, “On second thought, don’t give me time to think and back out. Just show me.”
Nick’s movements were tentative, and he didn’t touch Joe as he closed the distance between them, lips drawing nearer to Joe’s in a slow dance. It made sense Nick would want to kiss him, Joe just hadn’t been expecting it at all. He sort of forced his mind to shut up and go blank and stop telling him this was a bad idea because he wanted to come at this without any preconceptions. But when Nick’s lips touched his, Joe gasped and pulled Nick closer. He hadn’t known what to expect, but it didn’t feel weird or wrong. Kissing Nick didn’t feel like kissing a girl, but it didn’t feel like he was kissing his brother, either. It just felt…okay. Better than okay, he thought he maybe could get used to it. Joe was always open to new things, and out of all three of them, that was something everyone could agree on. If it had been Garbo or any of his other male friends, he probably wouldn’t have even considered this. But Nick was, well, Nick.
That was all the reason Joe needed as he opened his mouth and felt Nick’s tongue slide inside. When they finally did break for air Nick looked away and said, “That wasn’t quite what I’d thought it would be.”
And Joe was stumped again. “Was I bad at it?” he asked, perplexed. He’d never gotten any complaints…
“No!” Nick said in a rush, “I just meant the whole setting, everything. You were better than I thought you were,” and before Joe could realize it wasn’t really a compliment Nick rushed on. “But I just meant that I’d pictured our first kiss without the tears.”
“Oh…” Joe said and smiled, kissing Nick’s forehead. “You can go wash your face and we could try again…”
“Why are you even doing this?” Nick asked, shaking his head.
“Because…” Joe said in response, smiling. There were a few moments when Nick kept staring at him and they sat back on the couch. Finally he added, “Because I love you.”
Nick laughed and climbed onto Joe’s lap, bringing their lips together once more.