Comments | vanillapudding5: (без темы)

vanillapudding5

(Untitled)

Jun 24, 2006 20:28

Title: Okay
Rating: G, maybe PG, there's really nothing.
Word Count: 2,152
Summary: Technically, this started out as my entry to Witherwing's March One-Shot challenge, "Everything But the Kitchen Sink." I missed the deadline - didn't want to ruin my streak - and it's pretty much been sitting in a folder on my desktop ever since. Until a few days ago, ( Read more... )

fic, public, hp, h/hr

Comments 8

cinnamon_kisses June 25 2006, 04:03:12 UTC

Aww, beautiful. Glad you decided to finish it up. Your writing is wonderful.

vanillapudding5 June 25 2006, 04:18:10 UTC

Thanks. *grin*

Honestly, I'm not particularly fond of this one, just because...I dunno why. It sounds awkward in some parts, mostly because of the change from past to present tense and the cutting out of half the story and all the 'He did such and such' and 'She said so and so' sentences that found their way in. BUT. It's been three months, right? And I liked the end all right, and so I said, 'WHAT THE HELL,' and posted it anyway.

...

Not that you really care. Clearly that has no influence on me. :D

cinnamon_kisses June 27 2006, 17:12:22 UTC

Of course I care. Writing is inherently interesting to me.

I didn't notice any tense errors, and that usually drives me nuts, nor did I notice severe repetition, so I think you're fine. ^^

pumaful June 25 2006, 17:04:51 UTC

Aww. Harmony snuggle is the best thing since sliced bread. *grins*
Seriously, though. You are made of awesome. Hermione's perspective is simply marvellous, and every single one of 'em are remarkably in character. If J.K. Rowling wrote this scene, it would be exactly the same, or worse. ^^

Great job!

vanillapudding5 June 25 2006, 18:46:39 UTC

If J.K. Rowling wrote this scene, it would be exactly the same, or worse.

*laugh* I think the point is that she wouldn't. Because she's blind she's an idiot it's not canon.

Thanks, though. :D ♥

pumaful June 25 2006, 19:03:12 UTC

*grins* Well, the Harry-and-Hermione-in-bed thing. Because, though I know it had H/Hr intentions, it could be interpreted as platonic. (I know, snort. But still.)

vanillapudding5 June 25 2006, 19:43:53 UTC

*laugh* Well yeah, if you're blind.

BUT SHE MENTIONED LIPS. SO THERE.

liveonthesun June 25 2006, 20:02:35 UTC

Oh, I loved it! There was something darling about the way you wrote it. It's so simple and to the point!

I love how you didn't mention Hermione's name until a few paragraphs in--she was just she or her. It added a nice tone to it.

♥